Dancing with Ethan at Kate and Elliot's engagement party was ecstatic and just what I needed.
It's been three months now, a whole three months without Christian Grey.
Ethan has been my lifeline and the best friend one could ever ask for. He supported me, pulled me out of my darkness and helped me back on my feet. I never thought I could trust anyone after Christian broke me in a way I thought was not fixable. But Ethan fixed me, nurtured me back in shape. Without him and Kate I wouldn't be smiling today.
I miss him still. Yes, even after he ripped my heart out and squeezed out the life from it, I still miss him.
I could feel him when he entered the party. I was in Ethan's arms dancing with him and laughing and then I felt him. From Ethan's expression, the way his eyes turned cold for a minute, I could tell that Christian Grey was here. But I dare not looked at him. I knew that if I did, I would go back to the pits of hell from where I was just coming out. It took so long for me to cope up with my heartache. With the help from Ethan, Kate, Jose and even Elliot, I was able to muster up the courage to come today and enjoy my best friend's engagement party.
Kate and Elliot seemed so in love. I am so happy for Kate. I've never seen her more happier. They are both so smitten that every time I look at them I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. But then maybe I am not just meant to be loved, let alone by Christian Grey.
Keeping my blues aside, I decide to revel in the happiness of my best friend. Kate and Ethan gave me a new life. I could never repay them. Just as the music stops, Ethan gives me a reassuring nod, hinting that he was gone. I don't know what to feel about that. Should I be relieved that I didn't have to face him or sad that he can't even stand to be in the same room as me. Surely he knew I would be coming to my best friend's engagement party? If it was so difficult for him why did he even bother showing up. I know for a fact the Greys have not been very welcome to him after they learnt about what he did to me. Throwing me out of his house late at night was cruel even for Christian Grey. But they loved him anyway and Elliot wanted his baby brother to be a part of his happiness, but by the looks of it Christian can't be any less bothered.
Sighing I look up to see Jose waving his hands towards me and comes running up to me. He hugs me and swirls me around and I can't help giggle. That feels good. Giggling. I haven't been much of a laugher in the past few weeks but it looks like I was finally coming out of my shell. Everyday I was getting stronger and not having to see Christian, I decided, was for the betterment of us both.
I decided to get drunk. It's not everyday your best friend gets engaged. Kate's happiness radiated off her skin. She was glowing and her happiness was rubbing off on me. I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at her. Atleast one of us is happy. But, I am a strong girl and I will not let Christian Grey ruin this beautiful night for me. Not tonight, not ever. Henceforth, I will only be happy.
You don't need a man to be happy. This is the 21st century for God's sake and I am an independent woman. I am going to change myself. Gone will be the shy and timid Ana. This is a new day and it is absolutely time for a new beginning. A new wave of confidence swoops and engulfs me and I feel like I am ready to take on the world. Christian Grey or not, I RULE!
"Whoooooo," I shout and gulp down 3 shots of tequila one after the other. And soon I am gulping down booze like an alcoholic. My head feels funny. Suddenly I see two of everything. And then rock music starts and I find myself doing a head banging competition with all the boys in the party. I am the life of the party and I dance with everyone. I don't know if it's my depression or some divine intervention that has me acting all out of character.
I can't keep track of what is or isn't happening and soon I am walking out of the house with both Jose and Ethan both of them holding my hands and they seem drunk too. We decide to catch a cab since none of us are in the state to drive back. All three of us hand in hand, laughing, singing and trying to call a cab whistling and soon we are in a whistling competition and I can't seem to stop laughing and so does both Jose and Ethan.
And that is when it happens. Everything starts to go in circles and I am quickly on my way to collapse on the ground before I hear him.
"ANASTASIA!" Christian shouts.