How I Met Your Father

Aust surveyed the battlefield. It was going well, considering the circumstances that started it. 'Almost too well,' he thought, 'why haven't there been reinforcements from the rear? Have I overestimated their strategy?'

Almost inevitably, Aust heard the unmistakable sound of beating wings from the rear. "Figures… Panne! Sneaky knight guy! To me! Incoming reinforcements!"

"I'm not sneaky…" Kellam whined, though only Panne was listening.

The three prepared to protect Emmeryn from the incoming forces, though they were a bit confused when the reinforcements turned out to be a lone Pegasus rider, flying Ylisse's colours. What struck Aust, however, was her brilliant red hair. This woman carried herself as the epitome of calm, despite the fact that she very obviously wasn't.

"No! Plegians here as well?!" The rider cried out, "Prince Chrom! Captain Phila! Beware! Enemy reinforcements to the rear!"

"Is that... Gods, Cordelia?!" Phila's face bore an expression normally reserved for the gallows. Whoever this woman was, her presence meant bad news.

"Cordelia?" Aust asked, wondering if that was this woman's name.

"She's one of my knights." She responded, "She's young, but she's quite gifted, and with her sisters they formed our most elite flyer troop. I had them stationed on the Plegian border, so why...?" Phila's expression grew darker still. Were it not for the distracting battle, Aust would've paused to wonder how that was even possible. "Oh gods! Could it mean...?"

Aust knew exactly what it meant, but also knew that was a distraction they didn't need right now. "Focus, captain!" he snapped, "we have to focus on the immediate right now! As long as Emmeryn lives, Ylisse is victorious!"

Life returned to Phila's eyes, and she quickly grabbed Emmeryn and flew out of harm's way.

"Okay, Panne, you and Ghost Boy guard here as best you can. I'm going to grab Ricken and I'll back as soon as I can." The two… well, Panne nodded, and he assumed Kellam did as well, "Cordelia, you can obviously fly, so take the air – Sumia and Frederick can only do so much on their own." She quickly saluted and flew up without question.

"Aust," he said quietly to himself, "you get stare at Cordelia's butt." He mentally chuckled and set off towards the thick of the battle, where Ricken and Maribelle were fending off a number of wyvern riders further ahead.

Unfortunately for Aust's perversion, he neglected to watch where he was going, and walked off the cliff. The sudden, surprisingly yelp went mostly unnoticed but the flyers beyond it were momentarily distracted by the seemingly random event.

"Did… Did Aust just walk off a cliff?" Sumia asked, surprised by how surreal the question felt.

"He did…" Frederick responded, "I knew he was afraid of dragons, but to walk off a cliff?"

The two were fortunate that the Plegian riders were just as distracted by the events, their fight momentarily forgotten.

"Oh hell," Cordelia explicated aloud, and swooping down, she nabbed the would-be pervert out of the air, setting him behind her as she flew back up, Aust clinging for dear life to her waist.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Aust repeated, his eyes shut tight, and his grip ever tightening.

"You can apologize for cutting circulation to my legs later." She curtly cut him off, "which one is Ricken? I can't distinguish his hat from Miriel's…"

"He's with Maribelle, if that helps."

"It does, actually." She flew towards the girl with unmistakable hair. Taking out a wyvern they didn't notice behind them, and hovered above them.

"Ricken! How's your elwind tome?" Aust shouted, still clinging to Cordelia, still out of fear beyond anything else.

"It's wearing out, but I bet I could still do some massive damage," the young mage responded.

"Here, catch!" Aust said, pulling a fresh wind tome from his pockets and lobbing it at him. "I want you two to rush back towards the rear and join Panne and Kellam. We've got reinforcements coming from behind." Ricken snickered; the other three rolled their eyes.

As Maribelle galloped off with Ricken, Cordelia landed, safe for the moment. "You can let go now. I'm not flying anymore."

"Huh? What?" Aust blinked, realizing that he still held tightly to his rescuer. "Oh, s-sorry." He stuttered, finally letting go of her.

"I have to ask: if you're so afraid of heights, why would you place yourself so near a cliff? Not very tactical of you, Mr Tactician," she said with a wry smile.

"What? I'm not afraid of heights. Falling maybe, but who isn't?"

"So your death grip around me?"

"I'd just fallen off a cliff?"

"So… Your explanation for falling from said cliff?"

"I… er… was distracted," he admitted, a mild blush forming.

"Distracted by…?" Cordelia had a feeling she knew, but decided to tease Aust about it anyway.

"S-something…"

"Something?"

"It was cute, and I wanted to stare at it!" he stammered, while Cordelia giggled.

"You were staring at me, weren't you?" She smiled when Aust's deepening blush confirmed her accusation. "Don't worry about it," she giggled while ruffling his hair, "happens to the best of you."

She couldn't help but laugh at Aust squirming under her hand. Finally letting him go, she motioned towards her Pegasus. "Come on, we've still got work to do." Aust nodded, climbing up behind her, tome in hand.

"Aust?" she said shortly after taking off, "I thought you were fine with heights?"

"I am."

"So why are you clinging to me in fear?" Aust mumbled something incoherent. "What was that?"

"Wyverns" he meekly said, still very quiet.

"Wyverns?"

"I'm scared of wyverns." He admitted, holding tighter.

Cordelia sighed, and switched her lance out for a javelin. "You're lucky you're cute."

"And that, my dears, is how I met your father." A much older Cordelia concluded to her young twins; Morgan and Severa.

"…Seriously?" Morgan finally asked; her image of perfection in Aust shattered.

"I'm afraid so" Cordelia responded.

"Mom… dad's a dork."

"I know," she sighed, "why do you think I married him?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Bait and switch'd! You thought this was gonna be a chapter full of drama, but it was secretly comedy all along!

That, and a not-so-subtle jab at How I Met Your Mother, but at least here the ending is satisfying.

Anyway – I always sorta had the idea that when Aust first met Cordelia, he was so awestruck by how beautiful she was, that he walked off a cliff because he was so distracted. Later, I brought it up with Michiru Shiroku, and we actually came up with silly responses to Severa as if she was asking Cordy how her parents fell in love. I have all of them, and I'll post the entire skype conversation to my profile, but I wanted to give Aust and Cordelia a proper story, especially since I gave up on Outrealm Misadventures. Yeah, is dead and buried. I couldn't do anything with it.

I'm enjoying this whole "updating semi-frequently" thing. I'm going to try at it as long as I can, because the outlet is really helping my psyche out. Right now I'm working on fluff for Olivia/Henry post-game, and then I need to play some more Awakening, so it could be a bit before I have anything, since I've become a little jaded with it at the moment. It happens.

Until next time then,

Aust AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!