Hi there! Writing this one was a new experience for me – first romance story ever! *throws confetti* And boy, writing in an unusual genre for the first time came be nerve-wracking! Thanks so much to SwitzDandelion, who read this as a Beta and gave me some much-appreciated feedback! =D Thank you again!
Title: A Thousand Years
Summary: Sometimes, memories are just too heavy to hold – sometimes we choose to just let them go. If your one true love can't remind you of who you are, then who can?
Rating: T (this is just fluff, guys, with a few hugs and kisses. :D)
Genre: General / Romance
Disclaimer: You guessed it…I don't own Merlin. *tortured sigh*
Arthur's Note (within an Arthur's Note): According to me, Freya can't just pop over to her lake whenever Merlin needs her to throw a sword at him or whatnot; here she is actually forced to stay at the lake. Think of it this way – when somebody dies, they can choose to either leave the world of the living, moving on completely, or they could choose to stay behind for some purpose or another, linking themselves to a certain object (such as a lake). When somebody gets linked to an object in the living world, they have to keep close to their object tying them here until their purpose is fulfilled. Because Freya's purpose is to help Merlin, and because Merlin will (according to me) need Freya's help again when Arthur is reincarnated, Freya must remain in her lake.
BEFORE YOU READ: Head over to youtube and listen to the song 'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perri as you read this! That's the song that inspired this fic, and is really an overwhelmingly beautiful song anyway…
Enjoy! :)
Sometimes, a life lived long since seems just too far away. Sometimes all the good seems out of balance with all of the bad. Sometimes, even the strongest shoulders shake under the weight of worlds.
Sometimes, memories are just too heavy to hold – sometimes we choose to just let them go.
First, he'd planned and prepared – kept himself occupied with the prospect of a future need, another time when the world depended on him. He was patient, at first.
But the years grew longer and longer, emptier and emptier. His days were lonelier and more friendless than he'd ever thought possible. And then, he simply waited.
Outlasting time was a daunting task, but as the millennia behind him grew, it didn't seem quite as impossible – not as impossible, but even more terrifying than anything else.
Those empty years grew, and soon he realized that he had a choice.
The abyss of time before him whispered of his chance – remember? Or forget? – and he closed his eyes, finally, when the choice was made.
The distant past could become unreachable, and all he had to do was choose to forget.
So he forgot.
In the dead of night, a silent lake rippled with the breath of a nonexistent wind. Tendrils of the surrounding trees dipped into the tranquil water, rustling noiselessly. The sky was clear, millions of stars glimmering in the distance. Moonlight immersed the lakeside scene in a soft glow, illuminating everything subtly.
A woman sat at the water's edge, her fingers brushing the lake's surface. She sighed – another brush of gentle breeze – as wide ripples emanated from the center of the otherwise motionless lake. It's time.
She had never had quite so great a destiny as others in her life had had, but her place was still immovable in the path of another's.
She knew he'd been waiting all these years, and so had she – though her life was long since over, her destiny was not.
The woman stood silently, her dress flowing around her in deep purple and blue waves. With the flick of one slender hand, she sent a trail of water droplets arcing through the air as if time itself were slowed – they spun in the moonlight, glimmering like jewels. The surface of the lake trembled at their touch, its reflection of the starry sky marred for a moment.
The Lady of the Lake smiled, a change in the air. He's coming.
On a night nearly three months later, a full moon shining from high in the sky, the lake felt his coming presence. The lady stood by her shore, her eyes dancing in the moonlight. Her hands rose out before her, palms up, and she closed her eyes with a sigh of wind.
Tendrils of moonlit color swirled from her still figure, blossoming into the air above the water, touching every tree and rock at the water's edge. She smiled, her lashes brushing her cheeks, as the shore upon which she stood was filled with a warm light.
The wind brushed her unmoving form, bringing the touch of another – him.
For a moment, she didn't move, her eyes still closed – another breath, but this time not wind.
She opened her eyes.
She was surrounded by light, warm and familiar. Millions of tiny sparks floated all around her – candles drifted gently on the water's surface, or were cradled carefully at the base of trees, on rocks, at the edge of the still water. The air was filled with thousands of individual glowing flames, hanging in the air above the lake, concentrating above the shore where she stood.
As breathtaking as the sight she'd created was, her eyes were drawn past the beautiful lake to its distant shore. There stood a lone figure, his face scantily lit by candlelight.
Her heart brimmed with hope as he walked slowly around the water's edge. His footsteps were quiet on the ground as he came up to her, hesitant.
One step closer…
He stopped just out of her reach, eyes wide. The silence was barely noticed by the Lady as she took the sight of him in, trying to soak in every detail. A thousand years wait was a long one.
Their eyes met, her love seeing his pain. She watched as his lips parted, breathing words in a voice she'd missed for so long. "I felt you…call me."
She smiled, feeling her eyes fill with tears. Suddenly she found herself standing almost nose-to-nose with him. He lifted a hand to catch her tear, brushing her face. She shivered, closing her eyes. "I've missed you," she breathed.
Her eyes fluttered open, only to have her be overwhelmed by the sensation of falling into his own cerulean eyes, so close now. Time seemed to stand still as their lips met, and she fell into his arms, for so long the only place she could ever have felt truly safe.
When they parted, she grasped his hands in both of hers, standing tall. He seemed to sense her change, his eyes wary.
"Time has been hard on you," She said softly, squeezing his hand in hers. "The ages have given me another part in your destiny."
He frowned, shaking his head in confusion. "What…?"
She smiled. "To help you remember," she murmured, her gaze falling to their joined hands. "Why it's worth the wait."
He slumped slightly, his face crumpling. "I can't – it's too hard," he whispered, his head bowed in defeat. "I've waited so long…every day, thinking of what I could have done – what I didn't do."
She bit her lip, brow furrowed, as her love shook his head miserably. He sighed heavily, meeting her gaze with pleading eyes. "I know that it's my duty to wait – I know I owe that to them. But…it's just so much easier to let it go. It's easier to forget."
She shook her head sadly, wishing his pain away. "You don't owe it to them to suffer. No one can make the choice but you, because that's all it is – your decision. Not destiny, not your friends, not even I could ever – or would ever – force you to do something you didn't want to. Only you have the right to decide what you should do. As the Lady of the Lake, I'm only here to tell you that." Taking a breath, she stepped closer to him gracefully.
"But…as Freya, the woman who loves you…I want you to know that I've waited, too. The memories of my past life aren't anywhere near as hard to bear as yours are, but I too have sacrificed much to wait for you…to stay here rather than journey onwards."
Throughout her speech, he'd straightened, and now he made an anguished sound, looking her up and down. "What? Why…I didn't know you had a choice! Why did you stay?"
She smiled tenderly, tilting her head slightly. "Because I love you," she said simply. "I have loved you for a thousand years… and I'd love you for a thousand more."
Tears running down his face, he pulled her to him, tight in an embrace. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "But why – if you're waiting for me, why can't I just…stay here? Your wait would be over."
She pulled away from him, shaking her head. "If you stay here too long, the part of you that is mortal will be gone. You would die."
"I'd be with you," he countered, smiling gently. "There's nothing left for me here."
The smile faded from her face as her expression turned remorseful. "Now, there is nothing but endless waiting. But one day, your destiny will need completion. The world will need you…and most of all, Arthur will."
He frowned, shaking his head desperately. "But…when? I can't wait forever – he won't want me, Arthur –" he flinched slightly at the name "– Arthur killed you!"
She lifted her shoulders slightly, her hair fluttering delicately. "He is the Once and Future King," she said quietly, sighing. "He has had many faults in his past, but with your help, he grew from an arrogant prince into a great king. He will need you again."
He shook his head slowly, shoulders slumping in defeat. For a moment a silence fell between them, short but heavy with expectation.
Finally he looked up, meeting her eye. "I have to wait for him," he said slowly, contemplating his words. "But...you don't have to wait for me." It was more a question than a statement.
She responded by stepping in to kiss him gently, pulling away all too soon. "But I will," she said.
He nodded reluctantly, watching as she took a step back. At his questioning look, she sighed sadly. "You can't stay any longer," she said regretfully, dipping her head. "I can only remain in this form for so long. I need to return to the lake."
His startled look was replaced by heartbreaking sorrow as he fell back another step. She turned, her gown dragging silently on the ground, and walked between the glowing candles to the water's edge. There she twisted around to send one last smile to her love. "Merlin," she called, the warmth evident in her voice. "I'll be waiting for you."
He hesitated for a moment before replying. "I'll remember."
As she stepped noiselessly into the dark water, the candles that surrounded Merlin on the shore flickered in an abrupt gust of wind. Freya's form dissolved into moonlight with a final breath of cold breeze just as lakeside scene fell into darkness, all traces of the warm candlelight gone.
Merlin sank down to the ground, watching the lake rest in the night. Only hours later, when the sky was just beginning to light up with the color of dawn, did he finally stand, walking slowly away into the trees. Head bowed in resignation, he didn't look back.
Remaining behind was just the lake, silent as ever, and its lonely shore, disturbed only by dozens of unlit candles, left cold and hardened by time.
Aaaand – the curtain falls! :D So, what did you think? Have I proved myself as a worthy writer in the romance genre? (Or at least as a provider of tons of cheesy fluff?) LOL Please tell me what you think! Feedback is always appreciated. :) Also, tell me about songs that you love which remind you of Merlin…or that you simply love! I'm always looking for more great songs to add to my playlist ;)
Thanks for reading! ~whatswiththemustache