Past day, 2 years ago, choosing ceremony.
I am about to escape my father, Marcus. To go far, far away from his house, his belt, and his closet. He told me to pick abnegation on this day, but why should I? So i can stay with HIM? I can't stay here with him, i just can't. I stare at my dresser. If i am going to leave, and join the Dauntless, I want him to know that i have always defied him. I take a glass decoration my mother gave to me when i was little. she told me to hide it., so marcus wouldn't find out. I decide to take it, and leave it on my dresser.
a small act of defiance.
Once i am seated at the ceremony, i think about my aptitude test. My administrator said that my results came out as abnegation, but told me i was actually something different.. and dangerous. He said i was Divergent. That i could easily have belonged in Dauntless, as well as Abnegation, despite what the results say. While i think, my name is called. I go up to the man, take the knife, and put my hand over the fire, which stands for dauntless. i hear a few gasps, and a few whispers, as i walk toward the dauntless.
"Welcome to Dauntless." says a man. "My name is Amar, and i will be in charge of training the Transfers."
He was also my test administartor. Will I be safe?
A new life. One where i can be safe from Marcus, which is ironic, considering the Dauntless jump off trains, use guns, and do other life threatening, crazy things. But at least those things don't seem too scary for me.
Present day, 2 years later
This might be the last year I will be Dauntless. I am not brave. Being brave means facing your fears head on. I was meant to be abnegation. I came here to escape one of my fears, which is cowardice. I will be factionless after this year of initiates are done with their training.
We watch the initiates jump off the trains. I know what will happen next. They will have to jump off the building, into the net. I scan the initiates.3 from Erudite, 5 from candor, 1 from abnegation.
one from abnegation!?
"Hmm, a stiff." Eric says. He smirks, while looking at her. "Keep an eye on her" he whispers to Max, another Dauntless leader.
He whispers quietly, so i have to lean toward them to hear what Eric is saying. "Her aptitude test results were abnegation, but it wasn't recorded in the system." He says. I don't need to know the end of that sentence. He suspects she is Divergent, and she most likely is.
Great i think to myself. I have to keep an eye on her. I can't let Eric try to find out if she is one of the Divergent, because i know what that would lead to.
It would lead to a dead body down at the train tracks, just like it did to my instructor Amar.
I see her jump off the building. i go over to where Lauren is, and try to help the stiff up.
when i catch her, i notice she is small, and i worry she might not be able to make it through initiation, but then i see she has a determined look on her, and i can see that she will try to make it through this, that she will fight to make a point. she has dull blonde hair, and a plain face. she almost looks like ive seen her before.
She reminds me of my fear landscape. i have a small fear, of killing a girl, a girl who looks so plain, and so fragile. and i have to shoot her. the girl i have to shoot is so plain, you could look at her for a long time, but the next day, you would forget how she looked.
Except she isnt as plain as most of the other abnegation. something about her is so noticiable. then i understand what it might be. its her determination. her face is so determined, its striking. and then her eyes. her eyes are so bright, they demand attention.
I suddenly feel nervous. i help her to her feet quickly so no one notices that im not really breatheing.
"Thank you" she says.
"can't believe it" says Lauren. "A stiff the first to jump? Unheard of."she finishes.
"there's a reason why she left them,Lauren" I say, finally able to breathe again.. I ask the new stiff her name, and she takes a few seconds answering, unsure of herself.
"Think about it" i say, smiling a little, reminded about how my instructor, Amar made my nickname. he made it so likable, everyone copied it.."you don't get to pick again." i say
"Tris" she says.
i know its probably not her true name. while i was in abnegation, there was no one name "Tris." not that i knew of anyway.
" Make the announcement four" lauren says
"First jumper-Tris" i shout. As people shout and cheer, and jump toward the net, i set my hand on her back, and say "welcome to Dauntless"
Once I am done showing the transfers the pit, and the chasm, and once i am done explaining that that the chasm is dangerous, and about the fine point of idiocy and bravery, i go down the dining hall. I see Tris and her candor friend, Christina, and decide to sit next to them. Tris looks at the hamburger confusingly. "it's beef" i say."put this on it" i give her a small bowl of red sauce. Christina stares shockingly at tris . "you've never had a hamburger before?" she says. "no. Is that what it's called?" tris replies. "stiffs eat plain food" i explain to christina. "why?" she asks. In my opinion she talks too much.
"Extravagance is supposed to be selfish and unnessacary." tris says, shrugging
"no wonder you left" christina says.
"yeah"tris says rolling her eyes."it was just because of the food."
i try not to frown. it reminds me of the reason why i left, and it also makes me wonder why she left abnegation in the first place. whatever it is, i doubt it was because of the food. I don't want to sit next to christina, so i let tris sit in the middle of us.
I see Eric walk into the cafeteria. Eric is always easy to notice. He has tattoos all over himself, and peirces in over 10 locations, it's impossible to not be able to notice him. then again thats probably why he tattooed and peirced himself. to be noticeable.
"who is that!" christina asks.
"thats eric. hes a dauntless leader."
"seriously but hes so young!"
"age doesnt matter here."i say seriously. it really doesnt. if the dauntless think something is wrong with a person, they have no trouble killing them. i would know. I wont be seeing Amar ever again. they might have made it look like he killed himself, but he didnt. he didnt and i know.
i then realize eric is walking toward our table.
Great i think to myself. he's probably here to try to make me seem weak in front of the new initiates. He sets his hand hard on my shoulder. a have a chill in my spine. i don't like it when eric tries to hurt me in a way that looks painless. "well arent you going to introduce me?" he says. "this is tris and christina" i say, hoping he lets go of my shoulder soon.
"Ooh a stiff" he says smirking."well see how long you last."
Tris looks determined the second Eric said that. She should. Initiation here is suposed to be the hardest of all 5 factions.
"what have you been doing lately four?" Eric asks.
"nothing really"
"max says he keeps trying to meet to you, but you dont show up."
Well thats new. Max wants me to be a dauntless leader, mainly because i have four fears, and i did come first in my initiate class. Eric came in second, which is why he tries to hurt me alot. like he is doing with my shoulder now.
I can't be a dauntless leader. i don't truly belong here. sure, i don't fear much, but i am not like them. not how they are now, anyways. the dauntless are supposed to believe in bravery. in the courage that makes one person stand up for another. not beating the life out of others, and scareing other people, and taking up stupid dares. thats not bravery. that is stupidity. two completely different things.
"tell him i am happy with the position i currently hold." i say finally.
"so hes trying to give you a job?" eric asks, clearly threatened. he doesnt want me to hold a better position then his. he knows i could, but the question is will i? of course i wont.
"so it would seem." i say casually.
"and you not interested?"
"i havent been interested for two years."
"well. lets hope he gets the point then." He walks out.
finally. my shoulder can relax again.
"are you two friends?" tris asks.
i try not to sarcastically laugh at that question. me and eric friends?
"we were in the same initiate class together. he transferred from erudite."
"where you a transfer too?" she asks. i dont want to answer that question. because then she will ask what faction i came from. i dont like questions.
"i thought i would only have trouble with the candor asking too many questions. now i've got stiffs too?
"it must be because your so approachable. you know. like a bed of nails." she says.
i stare coldly at her. i decided to stay in dauntless because of her, and im starting to regret it already. i expect her to look away. but she stares coldly back.
"careful tris." i say. if she did something like that with eric, he would kill then and there. i hope she doesnt realize that i didnt answer her question on weather or not i was a transfer. if she did notice, she might be curious enough to find out. i noticed she is very observant, and a little too curious. she might have an aptitude for erudite. hopefully eric doesnt make that same connection anytime soon.
"Hey, Four!" zeke yells from another table, calling me over. i dont have anything else to say to tris, other than the fact to be careful, so i go on over.
"what."i say as i sit down next to zeke.
zeke frowns."someone sure is crabby."
"a conversation with eric can do that to a person."
"oh yeah. what did he say?"
"max is trying to see me to offer me that job as a dauntless leader."
"yeah i know that, hes been tying to see you for weeks about that, im talking about what he say to the new stiff."
"oh. he mocked her, and just said 'we'll see how long you last'."
i repeat that sentence in my mind. was that just teasing her, or was that disguised as a threat. i suddenly go cold.
"huh. well. how welcoming."zeke says. "do you really think she might actually make it through initiation. I mean, she is the smallest initiate, and-."
"and she is a stiff." i finish for him, arching my eyebrow.
"well, yeah. you were an exception though. you werent small, and you do have 4 fears." zeke says.
"true" i say smirking.
i see eric outside the dining hall. he is talking to max. they seem to be discussing something.
"i'll see you later." i say to zeke." i have to check up on something."
i walk toward them, inching over to hear what they are saying.
"im telling you, she is one of them! shes abnegation isnt she? dont most of the divergent come from abnegation? lets just end it now. i can push her off the chasm, make it look like she didnt want to try anymore." eric whispers to max. i go cold again. i knew most of the divergent came from abnegation. i just didnt know eric knew that.
"Eric. i have no problem what so ever with that theory. oh wait! i DO!"max whisper-shouts. "do you understand that the abnegation dont believe in suicide! no one would believe that she killed herself. especially if she was the first to jump off! i think she might actually be able to be one of us."
"we already have one stiff transfer in dauntless, we dont NEED another one!" eric says.
" four did exceptionally well during initiation. who knows, maybe this new one would gladly want to be one of us. if she left abnegation, it must be because she despises them."
i know what he is talking about. i found war plans in the control room computers. war on abnegation. i think max is wrong though. i dont think she left because she hates them. she could have left for another reason like i did.
" fine, so she stays for now. but what if she is a confirmed divergent? what then?" eric says.
thats the same question i had.
"we need someone to see the simulations, to observe them, to find the divergent. eric, i am trusting you with this. i will tell four to send the second stage simulation results for you to observe. understand? if you have reason to believe she is divergent, and have the proof on file for me to see, then i will kill her my self. In fact you will be working with him,you will be the instructor along with four. understand? dont get yourself into trouble with him."
great. i get to work with the type of person that will kill me if he found out what i was. That is if i dont kill him first for getting on my nerves.
"perfectly fine with me" eric says smiling.
they both leave, and when they do, i go to my room, where i can think in peace. i think back to my initiation. why i left. how i did. who i helped. i realize now, that i have to help her. and so i will.