Scrooge Versus the Mistletoe
Part 2, My Companion.
I just had to come back. Fate had brought me back. Why did I have to come back to... this?
Life has never been very good to me, you must realize. Hopes and dreams are not something that I ponder in the dead of night while consuming three entire bowls of chocolate-marshmallow ice cream (with syrup of course), oh no. The excitement, the... happiness... is reserved for more worthy subjects than myself. So, it should come as no tiny surprise that I, me, myself... have gained the interested eye of one special person.
Special person.
Can I stay tonight, he had asked me not long ago. I had agreed, of course, but I am unsure if it was proper thing to do. Yes, yes, I had just kissed... wow... that green-eyed person, but what exactly had he meant by "tonight"? This whole day has been so confusing for me. And I thought my life could be no more complicated: teach, brew, spy... kiss?
So confusing.
He and I are just approaching my door, and he hesitates before it. I can see no further harm to be done, dear Merlin, and I usher him in before me. He takes the hint, thank the stars, and I find myself standing at my own bedside, wondering where in my room he will sleep. You can be a bit slow sometimes, you know, he had told me once before. Then I was able to argue, yet now I cannot find a sufficient argument to refute it. Just my luck.
My luck.
I see him glance pointed at my bed, and I wonder how I did not see this coming. Were he anyone else, I would find myself objecting in an instant. But, with him, his lovely green eyes, and his shy smile, I simply cannot stop myself from giving in to what I know is to come.
He tilts his head just so, toward my bed, and I find myself following him without question. I slide onto my bed, wincing as my back cracks again. I feel refreshed when I lay flat over the coverings and I can't stop the tiniest sigh escaping my mouth. My companion climes onto my bed after me and lays just close enough to be touching shoulders.
Close enough.
He turns his head up a bit to see me and he smiles just a little. I feel his right arm come up around my chest and I relax slightly more into my soft bed. Finally turning his whole body, he is resting his head upon my shoulder, and I am obliged to wrap my own arm around his shoulders to keep him snug against me. He is warm, and I grip him just a bit tighter.
"G'night," whispers my companion.
I say nothing, but squeeze him ever so slightly once more.
"Happy Christmas," says my companion, obviously looking for some kind of response from me.
"Yes," was my agreeable reply, and I close my eyes to get some rest.
I feel him worm in closer to me, and I hear his own sigh of contentment. Why he should be content with me, I do not know, but I shall not ask now.
He clings to me, and I the same to him. My thoughts are all a whirl, and I struggle to cease the churning so that I may finally rest for the day.
Back again.
Two years.
Last time.
My thing.
Come back.
Not apologize.
The mistletoe.
Hate photographs.
Lovely boy.
Light touch.
Those fingers.
Remain silent.
So unsure.
Moving closer.
Those lips.
"Sleep," whispers my companion. "You need it," is added on.
And I do finally rest, on this night, Christmas Eve.
-
I fear there must be a leak in the ceiling, for what else could cause my face to be wet in the early hours of the morning?
"Happy Christmas," comes from somewhere near my right ear, and I tilt my head ever so slightly toward that voice.
My face is wet again, and I drowsily bring a hand up to wipe it dry. I hear a faint chuckle beside me and I realize something. I'm not at Hogwarts. Were I there, no one would chuckle within fifty yards of me. They wouldn't dare.
Realize something.
Another bit of wetness lands on my cheek, and I recognize the slight pressure accompanying it is, in fact, lips. Without much thought, I turn my head toward those lips and am rewarded with a light kiss. I've yet to open my eyes, but now I crack one open a tiny bit.
Green eyes stare back at me, and I am temporarily winded by their beauty. They look mischievous, and I realize that I've been, dear Merlin, "kissed awake" by my companion.
"G'morning," says he with a small smile at me.
"Is it?" is my response.
"Of course," says he. "It's Christmas."
I grunt and turn slightly on my side, facing him a little more. He must remember my early-hour grumpiness, for he only smiles again at me. As for myself, I've never known such comfort upon waking with the morning. Were I a man prone to smiling, I certainly would have strained my facial muscles by now, but as it is, I can only settle for looking rather less grumpy.
Upon waking.
"Breakfast in bed?" inquires my companion beside me, and he sits up without a reply.
He is already out the door before I can wake enough to protest, and I settle back with a sigh. He'd never offered breakfast in bed the first time I was here, so I must assume that it has something to do with our new circumstances. Oh, the upside to life. Eventual wearing-away of the bones with an acute case of laziness. And Albus says he's happy... humph.
My companion returns after a few moments, and I am temporarily stunned to see the gloom that has settled over his features in so short a time. I take the tray of food that is offered, but set it down quickly on the bedside table. His gorgeous green eyes are half-lidded, and he looks upon me with a sadness I have never seen him wear before.
Never seen.
He is standing very close, so I sit up upon my bed and reach a hand out for his. He holds my hand with a fierce grip, and I find myself holding him tightly in the next moment. I cannot imagine what has made him so unhappy, so I ask instead.
"You're leaving today," replies my warm companion, and I wonder how he is so let down at this news.
"And how do you know that?" is my return, even though I know the information to be true.
"I overheard the nurse talking about the 'Scrooge Room' and she said you were leaving."
He looks up into my own eyes and I nod once to confirm it, though it takes a bit out of me doing so. He looks so heartbroken that I hold him tighter to my chest to get away from those sad eyes.
Sad eyes.
"Please stay," says my companion with a firm grip around my waist.
"I cannot," is my reply, though I too grip him a bit tighter to me.
There is quiet for a while, my companion holding onto me, while I to him. I do not wish to break such stillness, but my leg is in dire need of a new position, and I nudge my companion gently to let him know.
Dire need.
We are once again laying upon my Scrooge bed, holding each other. I can tell that he is upset with me, but there is nothing that I can do to change that. Albus will be expecting me, I'm sure, and I need to return before the next meeting... or suffer the consequences.
The consequences.
You need to relax more, I remember my companion saying to me the last time. He is right, of course, though I am sure that I scowled at him then. Although, I am hard-pressed to recall a time when I've felt as relaxed as in these few moments.
Few moments.
I am startled from the silence by a small coughing fit from my companion. He worms up to me a little more, and I rub his back very gently. I rest my eyes while I lay with him, and his breathing returns to normal and then to sleep. I let myself drift on the sounds of him being comfortable and content. It calms me enough to let the world go and sleep as well.
His breathing.
It could only have been an of hour before I am awakened by a rough noise at my side. It is loud and rasping, and I am startled to find that it is, in fact, my companion making it. He is sitting up with his back hunched and clutching his chest as he coughs and gasps for air.
He coughs.
I jerk awake at the sight and sit up while reaching out for him. He recognizes my hands clutching at his shoulders and looks up very briefly at me. His gorgeous green eyes are made brighter by tears and pain, and I long to help him.
Help him.
The only thing that my mind could come up with was to again rub his back, and I do not hesitate to do so. One of his hands is now clutching at my shirt, and I pull him as close as I can while he trembles and struggles to cease his body's pain.
He trembles.
His gasping is rough, but he is no longer coughing, and for that I am glad. I try to soothe him by whispering small nothings about "It's all right," and "Don't worry, I am here," but I do not know if they help or hinder.
Soothe him.
His body has finally calmed and he slumps tiredly against me. My arms are around him now and I hold the back of his head to my chest. I cannot remember ever feeling so terrified as now.
So terrified.
My companion is shaking and I turn him ever so slightly to see if there is something that I did not notice before. But, I realize, he is crying on my shoulder. I know not what to comfort him with besides holding him, so I do that.
"Severus," whispers he after a while, and I press a very small kiss to his head.
I do not want to hear what he is sure to say to me, so I do not reply. I would gladly do anything to make him happy, and I am nearly as frightened by that realization as his very apparent illness. I've got cancer, he had told me on the last day that I had been with him those years ago.
Apparent illness.
Seven years spent at Hogwarts with perfect marks in every class from Potions to Herbology, and I am still left without a clue as to the nature of his illness. I feel damned by my ignorance, and I am at a loss for what to do for him.
"Severus," repeats my companion, and I feel my lungs seize a bit at the pain I hear.
He pushes away from me and gazes at me, though I will not meet his eyes. My voice is still working, it seems.
"How long," is my broken whisper at him, and I continue to look past his gaze.
"Not long," says he, and I am frightened by his refusal of a specific time.
He turns my face by my chin, and I am forced to look at those green eyes. It is nearly too much for me, the sadness that I see there, and I shut my own. He doesn't seem to mind, for he kisses me, regardless.
He pushes me gently back on the bed, and I do not resist.
He is filled with purpose, and I am willing to be taught.