MGM owns all characters.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews.

Rodney entered the computer lab at exactly 8:00am. Not a second before. He refused to spend any more than the allotted time there. Eight hours, plus an hour of break that's what Elisa and Heather get, so that's what I'll get. The two young women did such a phenomenal job during the day that Rodney never got a single complaint. The evening crew, Dwayne and Mitch, were another story all together.

"Good morning, Doctor McKay," Dwayne said as he left with a bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red and a Nintendo DS.

"Hey, you can't play video games when you're on duty," Rodney said causing the young man to drop his DS.

"Sorry."

"And no drinking in here, either," Rodney barked. Boy these guys are worse than I thought. "Now get out of here until tonight."

"Yes, sir," Dwayne said as Mitch went running after him.

Rodney had his tablet hoping to catch up on some performance reviews, Radek and the heads of botany and zoology were all that was left. What are their names?

"Rodney," John said as he entered the room holding something behind his back.

"Oh no," Rodney exclaimed. "You are not coming in here with a problem at..." he looked at his watch, "...8:03am."

"Yes, I am. Sorry to say, but my laptop is broken," the Colonel said sheepishly as he held forward a laptop with the screen section dangling by some cables.

"What the hell did you do? Try to take it apart?" Rodney grabbed the laptop and saw immediately that the hinges had been bent backwards.

"No, it got... crushed."

"Crushed? What were you doing with it?" Rodney asked as he tried to manually shove the screen back on.

"You know I tried that," John said. "I figured you'd do something more... I don't know... scientific?"

"You nearly ripped the laptop apart. It'll take brute force to put it back together."

"Well, I'll leave it with you, then," Sheppard said as he turned.

"You still didn't say how you nearly broke it off," the physicist asked as he looked around the work bench for some tools.

"I said it got crushed."

"But, how?" Rodney's natural curiosity could not be quenched by that simple answer.

"It was open on my bed and... I... I laid on it," John said.

Rodney turned to look at him. "You fell asleep on your laptop? Didn't you feel it and wake up?"

"I was kinda busy." The Colonel looked extremely guilty.

"Ahhhhhhh," Rodney cried as he dropped the laptop. Running to the desk and ripping open drawers, he screamed, "Where's the hand sanitizer!"

"Rodney, I wasn't... alone," John said.

"That's just as disgusting Captain Kirk!" Rodney screamed finally finding a bottle of sanitizer and squirting copious amounts on his hand.

"I can assure you it wasn't disgusting at all." John had a smirk on his face.

"Okay, take that... that computer to the trash and I'll requisition you a new laptop," Rodney said rubbing his hands vigorously and looking at the broken computer on the floor like it was a lemon.

"Thanks, buddy. This one was getting old. The new ones are much lighter," John said as he picked up the now-totally broken computer and left.

"Wait a minute," Rodney called down the corridor. "Was this a set-up to get a new computer!"

A/N: Who shall bother Rodney next???