Hard Work, Perseverance and Faith in the Elder Gods

Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hi again. So I realize now how big of an undertaking this story is going to be. In the past I wrote a lot of smut driven smut. And so.. To write something with actual real PLOT is going to be different. Here's another chapter of exposition. We'll get somewhere soon though, I promise.

Oh, and I want to thank the two people who have reviewed this story so far. I really appreciate it. Honestly. :) Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work. It means a lot.

Buffy found Willow meditating in the covered cloister after breakfast. It was still storming terribly and rain was blowing in from all the open sides of the garden, but where the red-headed witch sat, the weather could not touch her. Maybe it was simply where she'd chosen to lay her yoga mat, but more likely, her own radiating energy reflected the storm. Buffy stood in the doorway, where the refectory opened up to the outdoors and admired the way her best friend seemed to glow. It had been a rough year for all of them. The fact that they even had quiet moments like these was almost unbelievable. She really meant to be grateful, but honestly she was just wasn't use to the calmer life with which they'd been rewarded.

Willow Rosenberg had experienced the truest forms of being a witch. She'd let it consume her and then, after regaining control and going through rehabilitation, she'd consumed it. She was pure. She sat amidst the roses and the ferns and the lilies and felt it all through her. There had been a time that she would have never thought she'd make it this far. But life with the slayer had always surprised her. And there she was, in England, the head of a witch academy. She was grateful. She was happy. She felt her best friend come into her space and her eyelids fluttered open.

"Hi Buffy," she said, laying her hands in her lap calmly. "Sleep okay?"

But to be completely honest, she hadn't. She'd tossed and turned and had a slew of fragmented, ominous dreams that she couldn't piece together or even begin to explain. But what was new? Having creepy dreams was basically her birthright. She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. You?"

Willow knew Buffy was lying but she didn't call her out on it. She simply stood, rolled up her mat and then asked, "Why wasn't GIles at breakfast?"

"He stayed up all night trying to make sense of a bunch of letters he got. Something about elder gods and the end of the world." She shrugged. "Same ole, same ole."

But the witch looked a little worried. "The end of the world?" She frowned. "That's been happening a lot more frequently lately, hasn't it?"

"Nothing we haven't dealt with before," Buffy said, walking over to smell one particularly large red rose. "I mean, the letters were from New England, anyway. It's hard to be worried when we're all the way over here."

"But when the world ends," Willow said, "that's, ya know, all of us."

Buffy sighed. "You know I was going to tell Giles about how bored I was and how I really hoped something exciting would happen soon because I'm kinda going stir crazy.. But I honestly don't know if I'm up for tackling a whole new Hellmouth, yet."

"Neither am I," Willow replied, her yoga mat under her arm. She walked over to the wall and held out her palm, raindrops bouncing off her skin. "I was really hoping for a big break, ya know? Like things would calm down after all that."

"I don't think we'll ever get a big break Will," the slayer told her, her voice a little sad and a whole lot serious. "I mean you might. You should. It's not your curse to bear. But It's mine. And as long as I'm the slayer, I'm going to be in the throws of it, ya know?"

"But you're not the only one now," Willow argued. "And I'm just as in this as you are and you know that. Back in Sunnydale we made it all our fight. And that's why we made it. You don't have to do alone ever again."

It felt good to hear, even if ultimately Buffy knew where they stood. Willow always had the option to back away whereas Buffy never could. They walked back inside together and made their way to the church, which some of the younger initiates used to do homework or yoga or even worship if they actually felt that would help. It was empty for the time being though, and the two girls made their way up to the front and took a seat on one of the empty benches.

"So if Giles gets a group together and sends them there would you go?"

Buffy leaned back and looked up at the stained glass. The booming thunder echoed in the large open room. "Honestly? I think I'd ask to go. I don't want to face an apocalypse but I want to do something."

"Maybe a trip would be good for you then," Willow said, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "I mean, I can tell you're not happy."

"I'm not unhappy," the slayer pressed. "I'm just.. I don't even know what it is. I feel useless."

"You know that's not true," Willow returned, her eyebrows furrowed. "You're very useful. You train the slayers and you know more about slaying than any of us. You know tactics and help Xander, and you keep me and the other witches focused on the good fight. You're a fountain of usefulness."

"Maybe," Buffy replied, but her comment was followed by a sigh. And then, before she'd even realized she meant to ask, she heard herself say, "What do you think Faith is up to?"

Willow frowned. "Faith? I don't know. I hadn't really thought about Faith since she skipped town." She looked at the blonde curiously. "What made you think of her?" Faith was not one of Willow's favorite people, that was for sure. She'd done a whole slew of bad deeds that categorized the girl as persona non grata. At least in Willow's book. In Sunnydale she'd kinda almost redeemed herself, yeah. But her whole mutiny bit had seriously soured the taste of her.

"I dunno," Buffy responded, shrugging it off like it was no big deal. "I guess Faith has always kinda lived the solo life, ya know? Always had me to count on to fight the forces of evil while she ran off and.. Did whatever Faith does."

"Wears leather and sleeps around?" the redhead provided.

Buffy grimaced. "I guess so." The original slayer got Faith's fashion choices. They were a bit more biker-esque than her own, but the brunette pulled the look off really well and Buffy couldn't deny that. It was just that.. Buffy didn't sleep around. She could count on one hand the number of people she'd had sex with and she still wished she could take most of them back. With Angel it had just been the once. He'd been her first and so he'd taken her virginity and she'd taken his soul. Parker had been a forgettable college fling. Riley had been a gallant effort to have a normal relationship. And Spike had been.. A mistake. She'd tried her best to really feel something for him and even told him she'd loved him during the end.. But the sex had been destructive, both physically and mentally. If she could take it any of it back, she'd probably have taken it all back. She had so much regret and so it made her wonder whether or not Faith had any at all. She knew for a fact the other slayer had slept with Xander in high school, Riley while wearing her body, and Wood while they all shacked up in Buffy's house. And that was just casual Faith being casual Faith. Buffy wondered how many there actually had been but she was also concerned as to why she cared.

The witch surveyed the other girl's troubled face during the long period of silence that followed her short response. And then she she put her hand on Buffy's knee and said, "I know this is all really different, but you'll find your place and everything will go back to normal."

But Buffy wasn't really sure if she wanted things to go back to normal. She existed in this purgatory of indecision. She hated the past and she was incredibly apprehensive about the future. "Faith wouldn't sit around and mope," she explained, "she'd be like Hell yeah and then go off on some cross-country adventure or something. I should just suck it up and get over my own issues and be like Faith."

"Don't be like Faith," Willow replied quickly, "Be like Buffy. I love Buffy."

"I don't know who Buffy is," Buffy told her. "I knew who Buffy was. Back in Sunnydale, I mean. And I think I'm tired of being that girl. I want to do something else. I want to live, you know?"

"Live?" The other girl was having a hard time following what her friend was saying. "Like what do you mean? Like not slay?"

Buffy got up, stretched her arms out in front of her and then bent and touched her toes feeling the same restlessness she'd felt for weeks. "I dunno," she offered, rising back to her full height, which was a towering 5 foot 4 inches. "I mean I can't really deny my sacred birthright. But maybe I could forget about it for a while."