Mother achieved her mission by getting me out of bed. She literally threatened to call Ashley up here while I still look like I just came out from the dead. While she locked herself in her room to make some phone calls to my agent, I slipped on my robe and went downstairs. Sullen, sitting on the chairs by the dining table, saw me and pulled out a chair for me.
"At last, you're up."
With my morning slippers squeaking against the hard floor, I forced my way to the chair and slumped straight down on it. Sullen grabbed a pitcher of orange juice and poured me a glass. Just the sight of that stuff makes me sick. I think I had enough of sugar for one day.
"No thanks, Sully. I feel too sick to eat or drink anything for the day."
"It was your fault to eat all that junk in your room. What were you thinking, Scarlett? I mean, I get the whole commotion is overwhelming, but fattening yourself up won't make things any better."
"What can I say? I just lost the temptation to stick eating healthy..It's not easy being fed like a bunny for the rest of your life. Honestly I don't even remember eating a single Hostess Ho Hos anymore. I mean when was that? When I was six, seven years old?"
"Okay for one thing, Hostess Ho Hos are not good for you. And a second thing, why aren't you upstairs taking a shower? Mother is calling your agent to schedule a meeting."
"What's the use of a meeting? I'm not going. I'm staying right here."
"Scarlett."
There she goes again. Playing the "other mother". What in the hell happened to this girl? What happened to that young girl who I can easily torture? According to our earlier life, I don't recall her attacking me back.
I flung my hands in the air that made her feel a bit taken back. I don't even care anymore.
"Just stop, Sully! Stop it! I'm tired of you just being..Ugh! Just being like mother! Honestly, what has gone into you by the way? I feel like one minute when I receive a lecture with mother, you come to me and lecture me back. What's going on? Did mother force you to go to this charm school or something?"
The look of astonishment immediately melted away from her expression and changed to a look of an unexpected thrill with..What? With a smile?
She suddenly took my hand with both hands, and her eyes looked straight at mine. I can see each one pooling with tears.
"Sully, what's the matter? Why are you crying?"
"Oh Scarlett, I was planning to tell you this next week, but I can't wait anymore...Huh. Scarlett, you wouldn't believe this once I tell you though."
"Well, tell me, Sully. Because to be quite frank, your reaction is concerning me."
"Scarlett, I..Huh. Dear sister, I'm engaged. Engaged, I tell ya! Isn't that wonderful?!"
Hearing her call me "dear sister" for the first time makes me want to think this is just some kind of dream, or a crazy imagination. But now getting to the part that she's engaged replaces my notion to think this is a nightmare instead. First it's Ashley and Melly getting ready to be hitched. But now my sister is engaged too. Careen recently got married not too long ago, now she lives with her artistic – sort of gay, no offense to him – in Greece. Then my brothers were next, all three of them went to the army in different times. Now Sully is ready to leave me?
As much as I get that the two of us don't really show much affection to one another – like sweet "lovey dovy" moments; braiding each other's hair, doing each other's nails, or talking about boys – and instead fight and prefer competing one another in almost everything, I consider her as my companion, my friend who keeps me company, and assures me when I'm lonely. Besides I'm not always working, my home is my shelter where I always end up in by the time I'm done filming. Mother is the last person in the world who I want to be with, or even talk to for at least two minutes. Father is by far my favorite parent, however, he occupies himself by going out constantly – going golfing with his pals, getting a drink and smoke a few cigars, go for long drives to anywhere he feels likes going, and also shop for cars that he randomly buys to put it in his collection – his secret layer of all the cars he keeps is the garage (a.k.a. MY GARAGE, it was planned to be my little gym, but no daddy just had to take it for himself, so much for getting some credit to be the money maker in this family).
Oh but Sully just has to get married now. I mean really now...Huh. How much worse is this day getting to? First my career is in stake. Now my sister is getting married to a guy she's only been with for four months. And on top of that, that man is so old, his age shows to the grayness of his beard, but the positive side is planted somewhere, he's from New Orleans at least.
"That's..That's uh..That's great. Really great." I lied, with my teeth gritted together.
"Oh I'm so glad you feel that way..Huh. You have no idea how long I waited to get that off my chest. Anyway, I've been thinking about going shopping for some gifts for Frank's family. I know it's too early, but I want to be prepared before that day arrives."
"When exactly did he propose to you anyway?"
"About a week ago. Now don't get mad, I didn't want to tell you right away because you were caught up with everything, I didn't want to ruin anything by your effort. I even had mother to keep her lips sealed about this."
"Oh I'm not mad, Sully. I'm just..I'm just overwhelmed by this. I..Huh, oh my goodness. You're really getting married..You really are..."
The tears fell down her cheeks as her face glowed with such happiness I never seen her react in such a way. It's the same glow I seen when I saw Melly at my birthday party, oh how disgustingly cheerful she looked when she walked in the room with Ashley on her arm..And how mad I was when all I can think of is cross out Melly's face, in my imagination, and put my face on it instead.
"...So, um did you and Frank pick the date yet?"
"It's too early for that. But I did tell Frank I would love to get married in the middle of summer, you know the time when it's warm and sunny. And we can go to Hawaii for our honeymoon."
"Hawaii? Sounds..Sounds exotic."
Everything I'm saying is too obvious they're lies. But thankfully, Sullen is too exhilarated with being engaged that she doesn't seem to catch the hint that I'm not a bit happy of her legally changing her name to Hamilton. I doubt mother and father doesn't have a clue about this. They probably only accepted the marriage because Frank is quite wealthy with the numerous stores he owns back in New Orleans, despite his age, my parents approved by a man's success to marry one of their daughters, whether he's aged and unhandsome, or young and beautiful.
The sounds of footsteps started on the hard floor. Mother walked in with her devilish high heels on. "Well, it looks like your agent is busy today. But she did say that she has some time tomorrow at ten. Are you okay with that?"
"I never agreed to go to this little meeting, mother. But since you're not giving me a choice, and my career is clearly in flames, I'll go, only to stop all your nagging."
Sullen gasped, and slightly tugged my arm forward with the hand she's been holding onto all this time.
"That's wonderful. You can come with me to go shopping."
"Uh..Um, okay. Why not? Let me just take a shower that mother has been urging me to do for the pass three hours...Just give me ten minutes. I'll be done by then."
With my hand pressed to the table, I pulled myself up to stand, but mother's hand suddenly touched my shoulders and pushed me down.
"Not so fast, young lady. Make sure you pack your gym clothes. I hired a new personal trainer to help you get back in shape."
"A new personal trainer? What happened to Wanda? She worked for me for nearly six years, mom, and I loved her."
"Hannah Weasel is a celebrity fitness trainer. Almost all actors like yourself train with her. She's known to do miracles, darling. I'm highly positive that she can succeed to make another miraculous success on you."
"Hmgh. Weasel. Hey, if she was British she could be one of the characters on Harry Potter. I'm sure readers will get a big kick out of that, even J. K. Rowling herself."
~ Sullen looked through the looking glass of a store, examining which bag displayed is best for her soon-to-be-in-laws. I personally love weddings; it's the only event I can attend to where I can have easy attention from available single men. But I strongly know that Sully's wedding is going to be my least favorite of all. I'm not looking forward to accept the Hamiltons as part of our family, especially that kind, yet slightly a bit creepy Frank as my brother-in-law.
"Scarlett, what do you think?"
"I think they're all wonderful, Sully..Just wonderful."
Now she pondered the idea of either buying one of those handbags, or buying some shoes. Since I'm not doing anything much to help, I took at least three steps away from her and distracted myself by looking around at some of the stores.
I never realized how much I shunned myself from the outside life. Ever since I became part of Hollywood, I only have been taught what to do and what to wear on camera, and to some other actors and directors who are unfamiliar to me. My reward after doing a long day of work is going home. Going anywhere else, however, was and still is out of the question. I guess now since my career is in jeopardy, I'm allowed to do some things I missed. Shopping is majorly one of them. Mother and some of her assistants have been shopping for my clothes for years.
"Everything is the same..Shoes. Sports section. Lingerie. And ba – Wait. What's that?"
A baby store by the restroom caught my eye. Through the front glass of the store is Melly going through a few baby outfits next to a salesperson. She's smiling and again glowing just like the last time I saw her. She picked up a small green hat and said something to the salesperson that's inaudible. The salesperson took it and along with other clothes that I'm inferring are what Melly chose herself.
What in the world is she doing with all that? Is one of her cousins expecting a child? That's odd. I don't recall Ashley ever telling me that. He and Melly always attend to anyone's birthday or other celebrations together. Hmm. Maybe it's on Ashley's side of the family. It could be one of his cousins. Or maybe one of Melly's.. Or...Or..Oh God, wait. Melly, glowing that night and now shopping for baby clothes..And getting engaged. She's..She can't possibly be...
I marched toward the baby store, it took a minute for Sullen to realize I was gone. I burst inside, opening the door with a good kick of my foot. Almost all the women inside turn their attention to me, yet I ignore them, my only focus is a happy Melly now standing by the cashier paying for the clothes she chose.
"Melly."
Melly took the bags off the counter and turned around to face me. Once she turned, her smile instantly disappeared.
"Scarlett. W-Well, isn't this a surprise? What brings you here?"
"I was actually going to ask you the same thing, Melly. What are you doing here?"
"I..I just came here to buy some baby clothes, that's all."
"Oh. For whom, exactly? A distant cousin? An aunt? Or perhaps a friend?"
Out of all the people I know, Melly is not on my list who knows how to lie. She's too innocent to do anything like that, especially to me.
"...Huh. It's um..It's actually a surprise for Ashley."
Oh God, so its true. She is pregnant. So all this happened because of a baby, just this one baby. First the engagement, then the rock on that ring she wears, and now this baby that concludes her life with Ashley as happily ever after in New Orleans. I..I can't believe this. I really lost this battle. Ashley..Oh God! She can't take Ashley away from me! She just can't! He deserves to be with me, not her! No way in hell I'm going to let this go, regardless if there is a baby coming out soon or not!
"Melly, so you're really pregnant? How long–I mean, when did you find out?"
"About three weeks ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Scarlett. You see, I wanted to keep this a secret so I can tell everyone else at the proper time. So far only Ashley and my family knows of my pregnancy. We planned to tell everyone else by the time a month or two pass. I'm sorry you found out like this, though, I do apologize."
"...I'm..I'm shocked, Melly. I really am. I never expected for things like this to happen like this so quickly for you and Ashley..Is..Is that why he proposed to you?"
"He proposed to be before I told him the news..When I told him, he was thrilled that I'm expecting our first child. You have no idea how relieved I was. Oh Scarlett, I feel that same relief again that now you know this. I really don't like keeping secrets, especially to you, dear Scarlett."
My lips mumbled out the repeating words "baby, little baby" over and over again. Melly, shortly distracted by quickly checking if everything is inside the bag, caught the odd way I'm behaving. In my eyes, all I can see is a horrifying image of a newborn babe in the arms of an exhausted Melly, beside her is a relieved looking Ashley, kissing her on her cheek. Just the very thought of it makes my skin crawl. That whole future is wrong. I should be the one lying exhaustively in bed with a newborn infant in my arms while Ashley is beside me, kissing me so sweetly like he always does to Melly. Just why is fate so cruel to me. Why must Ashley be with Melly? What's wrong with me?
He made me feel that he loves me, so why is he so scared to come to me? A baby or not nothing and certainly no one either can force me to forget about him. I know that Ashley still loves me..He must think that he has to marry Melly now that she's with his child. Yes. Ashley is a gentleman; he isn't a kind of man who takes responsibility lightly.
But isn't it possible for him to let Melly go, and the baby..Isn't it? Or am I just..Or am I just crazy to hope for such a impossible wish?
Melly's hand touched my shoulder, the same way she did that night of my birthday party. The horrifying image disappeared into thin air, and reality returned to my vision.
"Scarlett? Scarlett, are you alright?"
"...Get your hands off me..I..I need to get the hell out of here."
"Scarlett, what's wrong?"
I back away from her, letting her hand fall from my shoulder. I back away further and further as she uneasily, looking confused, approach forward. I accidentally bump into few of the women near me, but the solid feeling of the door touch my back by the time I passed a long line of baby shoes. I open the door with my back and immediately turn my body around. Sullen saw me and came closer to me.
"Scarlett. There you are? Why did you go in there?"
I ignored her and started walking, and then running. Sullen called for my name, but I ran and ran until I reached to the exit of the mall.
Wake up, Scarlett..Wake up and look at the reality, you stupid girl.
Ashley is never going to leave Melly. That's just impossible. Such hope is like hoping for Jay Leno to forget about his retirement and continue with his talk show until the day he dies. Even using Jay Leno as an example right now is absurd, as much as hoping for Ashley to abandon the woman he claims to love so dearly.
As for my career..Ha! It's no career. I still don't know why Lawrence accused me of bribing others to get what I want. No one every accused me something like that. But either way, my career is truly falling apart. Lawrence is one of the most successful directors in Hollywood, he's even above Quentin Tarantino, which to me seems impossible because I prefer Quentin. If such a man like that meant what he said about me the day I met him about not casting me, then it's clear other directors will side with him. I only work for the best people in Hollywood, without them then my family will again be broke. I'm the only reason why the O'Hara mansion still stands in place. Now I'm just useless again. I don't know what else I can do to miraculously keep the family's wealth stable. But in the mean time, I think father should stop shopping for cars for awhile, and consider selling them for a decent price instead.
I ran straight across the parking lot, a few cars hit the breaks, making the harsh screeching noises from their wheels. I didn't bother to lift my hand as a signal of apology, I just ran. All the information I know of now is too much to deal with. First my career is gone, now the love of my life is being taken by another woman, a woman who is so different than me.
Oh why can't fate just leave my family's wealth at least if I'm to lose Ashley? Still having money on the table is reassuring, but not having that either is just deathly concerning.
My muscles are slightly aching, but all the training I've done – besides the stomachache still active from all the food I ate today – is worth it, because I can catch up without pausing to catch my breath. Sullen's car is parked all the way in the third row near the vertical angled blocks of cement with grown bushes and flowers grown behind them. I focused on that one car and took up speed to get to it as fast as possible.
I ran and made it closer to ten cars away from it. A sudden beeping noise started when I passed a lighted red Chevy. I turn my head to see what's going on for a brief moment, but in less than a second a hard pressure hit me on the side, pushing my body slightly up in the air. I gasp of how high I'm suddenly going, but I can no longer breathe as a hard trembling hit started in the back of my spine. My head fell lifelessly in a hard thump. The same experience back at my party birthday came back to me. The same blurriness returned to my vision, and just as I feared, blackness took its place.