"I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don't know what to do with all this hurt right now." – Nina Guilbeau

Spencer sat at the cold marble table, an army of carved figures standing at attention on the checkered board. His head was in his hand and the bench opposite him was empty. The whole park was empty, as a matter of fact. It was unseasonably cold and windy and the normal chess crowd were probably at home, reading or playing chess in the comfort of their own homes. Spencer knew he wouldn't see anyone at the park that afternoon, but he had to get out of his house. He kept his eyes forward, but his mind wandered back to Gideon, the only person in the world who could beat him in chess over and over again. Well, there was another person who was up to his level in the art of chess, other than Emily. And this person just so happened to be approaching the table, but it took Spencer a few moments to fully take him in.

"You know, one of my exes told me once that the reason our marriage wasn't working was because I was treating it as a game of chess—a one player game where I made all the decisions. The funny thing was that we played chess every Saturday night. She said that that's how she learned I was cheating—claimed she knew my lying face."

Spencer began to move his fingers on the table, like he was tapping out a beat to a song only he could hear.

"Did you and Gideon ever play chess together?"

At the mention of his old team member, Spencer stopped moving his fingers and focused on Rossi, seemingly for the first time. Rossi's eyes were kind and patient, giving Spencer comfort in a way he had never felt before.

"Yeah. He was the only one could beat me ten times in a row and never get bored of playing. He liked the challenge. He said that if I put the effort I put into chess into my training I would make one of the best profilers the BAU had ever seen."

"This was before you were allowed into the field, I assume?" Rossi questioned. All he got in response was a nod.

"You know, Reid, you are a great profiler. You are able to pick up on the little things and catch the tiniest details that always tie all the evidence together. Your intelligence makes you unique and irreplaceable and the team—"

"He was right, Rossi. I didn't pay enough attention, didn't think through my moves long enough. I thought I knew what was going to happen so I focused on Interpol as opposed to Emily and her past. I assumed Interpol was the only secret she was hiding. I didn't think it through. If I had maybe she would still be alive."

At this, Rossi slammed his hand against the table which made Spencer snap out of his trance. He looked at Rossi's eyes which were full of anger, anger that Reid had never seen before, anger directed at him.

"Spencer, stop it right now. This is not your fault. This is no one's fault but the bastard that chased her and ruined her life for all those years. Stop blaming yourself. You didn't force her to keep your kid safe or keep national secrets. You didn't stalk her and blackmail her with information on the ones she loved. You didn't stab her. You didn't do this. Until you accept this, you will never move forward. Yes, you may be able to return to work and do your job and save people, but at the end of the day, you will always go home and sit and think about her and how you let her die. But you didn't. You loved Emily like we all did. She loved you like she loved all of us. Stop blaming yourself or you will die young and alone and full of guilt and self-hate. Don't do this to yourself."

Spencer sat stunned at the soliloquy Rossi had just delivered. The one thing Spencer had always liked and admired about Gideon was his affinity for using as few words as possible in order to get his point across. This trait also seemed to be alive and well inside Rossi too. This was the first time Spencer had ever heard Rossi speak so much and so passionately directly to somebody. He took in the man sitting across from him, the kind eyed Italian man who had a knack for well-placed one-liners and a love for good wine and dry humour. This was a man who cared deeply and only allowed his deepest emotions to be shown when it was absolutely necessary. Spencer ran all of these thoughts through his head and knew that he was lucky to have Rossi in his life.

"I think that is the first time I can ever remember you calling me by my first name," Reid commented, a light smile on his lips.

Rossi pulled his signature smirk and placed his hands on the table. He looked Spencer directly in the eyes, once again demanding the young man's full attention.

"If I know all of those things about you to be true, and can see what kind of an amazing agent you are, so did Emily. She didn't blame you, Spencer, no one did. Remember that."

The two sat on the cold benches for another three hours, talking about Gideon and Emily, tossing jokes around and sharing silences of respect. They had begun a game of chess, neither one really realising it until Rossi called checkmate.

Spencer left the park that evening with a sense of belonging. For days, he had been feeling guilty and wishing he could fix it. He had always felt like that, that he would be able to fix permanent things that had already happened and couldn't unhappen. He felt that way with his mum, with Gideon's departure, and now with Emily's death. Today had been the first time that someone had ever told him point blank that this wasn't his fault and he needed to stop worrying. Of course, he couldn't stop worrying, but it brought him comfort knowing that he was cared for. That wasn't a feeling he was used to.

He got back to his house and made a cup of tea and began to think about how it had been Rossi to find him at the park. Normally, it would've been Emily, and she would've challenged him in Russian and they would've played until they were confused about which word meant 'checkmate' in Russian, and then they would've gone to a coffee shop just around the corner and the loser would pay and they would sit at a table toward the back and talk about old cases. But it hadn't been Emily today. It had been Rossi, the one team member Reid felt the least comfortable with. Spencer and JJ had always been close, he and Morgan had a playful older brother/younger brother dynamic, Hotch was always patient with him, Garcia made him feel accepted through his eccentricities, and he and Emily were nearly the same person. He had never felt close with Rossi. That feeling had changed that afternoon and for that he was glad.

That night, Spencer was able to go to sleep knowing that he was accepted and cared about by the only seven people he had ever truly thought of as family. It was the first time since Emily's death that he didn't feel guilty, but at peace. For the first time in six years, he was able to sleep through the night and wake up the next morning feeling validated and fully accepted.