DISCLAIMER; I DO NOT OWN KH AND I WILL ONLY BE TAKING THINGS THROUGH PM NOW

Thank you to…. Maiya-chan,ihasakeyblade123 and TheEighthLight! Cookies and cake to everyone who read and reviewed!

It was around 11 AM in the Castle That Never Was and just about everybody was getting their lazy butts out of bed.

BEEP BEEP BEEP SLAM!

"Ugh… I hate waking up, it's too early…" Mumbled a lazy Axel who had just slammed his alarm clock off. He lazily sat up on his bed with a long stretch and a yawn.

"I wonder what crazy plans the boss man has in store for us today…"

He eventually got up from his bed and did his daily routine of talking to himself in the mirror. He pointed his index finger at his reflection and said,

"Who's the man? I'm the man. Oh yes I am. I'm manlier than-"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Who could be knocking at his door at an important time like this?

"Axel," Said a deep voice that obviously belonged to the Superiors, "Your mail is here."

Axel moaned as he saw Xemnas' shadow disappear from the space between his door and the floor.

"I hate mail… But what if its fans telling me how hot I am?" He thought as he opened his door and saw only one letter placed on the floor. He picked it up and went back inside his room shutting the door.

Ripping the envelope open he noticed there were two pieces of paper. He decided to just open and he began to read it aloud to himself.

"Dear Axel,

Did you have any toys growing up that you can't live without? And what is your favorite lolly?

Your fan,

Ihasakeyblade123."

Axel gave a smirk and said, "Like I'd ever tell you." He took out the other letter from the white envelope and read that out loud too.

"Dear Axel,

I know EXACTLY where you live and if you don't reply to me or ANY of your fans I WILL KILL YOU. Have a nice day!

-Elizabeth"

Axel's eyes widened. Who IS this Elizabeth girl anyway? And how would she know if I didn't reply?"

The pyro's eyes scanned over the letter again and noticed in very fine print at the bottom of the page,

'P.S I WILL KNOW IF YOU DON'T REPLY'

Axel tossed the letter and ran to his desk and began to reply to ihasakeyblade123.

He began,

Dear some random person who's a fan of me named ihasakeyblade123,

I'm not sure how you even got my address or anything but you must be cool enough to track me down. Just PLEASE don't stalk me that's all I ask. Ok so to answer your questions…

I did in fact have a toy that I couldn't live without when I was younger. It's embarrassing to say but it was a Teddy bear but I won't tell you his name. Ok I will it was Mr. Honey Muffin. Of course this was when I was a somebody so it's not like I actually have it anymore.

Just then Axel's closet door opens magically and Mr. Honey Muffin comes falling out onto the floor.

I'm not sure if you heard of them but there's this store called 'Ozark Delight Lollipops' they have the GREATEST lolly's ever! My favorite happens to be strawberry banana because of the color. It's like a yellow and red swirl, almost looks like fire. That's all! Oh and don't tell ANYONE about my bear, it can be our little secret.

Sincerely,

Axel The coolest,hottest,greatest,pyro in the entire world and universe.

"Done!" He exclaimed proudly. He then put his letter in an envelope and sealed it.

Unlike the rest of the members, Zexion doesn't sleep in late. He usually gets up around 8 in the morning. He was currently in his room looking through a book entitled 'BLACKMAIL PHOTOS' and that's when Xemnas knocked on his door.

"Number 6, there's mail for you." His shadow disappeared and Zexion opened his door to find a few envelopes on the floor. He picked them up and went back inside his room.

"Let's see…junk, junk, junk, fan mail, junk, junk and junk." He tossed the letters into a nearby trashcan and opened his book again. He then remembered Axel telling him about the wonders of fan mail and how juicy they are and such. The Schemer tried pushing those thoughts out of his mind but it kept coming back. He wanted to know what that person had written to him. With a sigh he reached back into the trash can and pulled out the fan letter. He hesitated to open it at first and then he slowly tore it open. He unfolded the letter carefully and read it to himself,

"Dear Zexion,

You're my favorite member of Organization XIII. I was wondering, do you ever
use your illusions to mess with people? I want details!
Your fan,

Maiya-chan."

He gave a small smirk and then wondered how this person even got his address. He shrugged that thought off and sat at his neat and organized desk and began replying.

"I guess Axel was right, this isn't bad after all…"

Dear Maiya-chan,

Since you are wondering about my illusions and if I mess with people, I have a few responses. Some of which are pretty amusing.

I'm sure you know about Roxas and his obsession with batman. And if you didn't know you do now. Well, as I was saying it was a Saturday night and he was watching the show. It was a scene of batman and the Joker (not that I even care about watching it)

All of a sudden strange voices we heard and it sounded as if they were saying, "LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!"

And I noticed how he seemed a little nervous whenever the Joker appeared on screen. He would often jump in his seat when he chuckled or made a strange noise. And that's when I thought of scaring him.

When the show was over I snuck into his room while he was asleep and made an illusion of the Joker and woke him up. That was one of the biggest mistakes of my nobody life. He jumped right out of bed and began to scream, as if he was impersonating a battle cry. He then summoned his key blade and started to attack. I will try not to explain what happened during the battle but let's just say he never found out it was me.

When I left (I didn't give up if that's what you're thinking)

The voices could be heard again

Roxas began to think he was Batman. And now that is still in effect today. Whenever somebody screams or a heartless appears he has a tape recorder and it plays the theme song to the show and he calls over Axel (which he calls Robin) and starts fighting anyone in sight. And that has left several of us injured.

I hope that was detailed enough. And do not tell Roxas it was me.

Sincerely,

Zexion the Cloaked Schemer

Roxas was busy in his room practicing battle moves in his room.

"Take that you Joker!" He exclaimed as he smacked a chair with his key blade.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"You're mail is here Roxas." Xemnas stated then walked away.

"Oh I wonder what I got!" He opened his door excitedly and scooped up a letter and a magazine that was placed in front of his door. He stepped back inside his room and closed the door.

"Sweet! Another addition of Super Hero's weekly!" The cover on the magazine showed Batman and Robin back to back fighting various monsters with the word KAPOW in red.

He set the magazine on his bed and opened the letter.

"Xemnas says I shouldn't look at these, but what does he know?"

He unfolded the piece of lined notebook paper and began to read,

"Dear Roxas,
Can I kill you and take your place in the organization?

Your fan,

TheEighthLight."

Roxas' eyes widened and his mouth hung open.

"It's…the… JOKER!" He screamed at the top of his lungs and ran out of his room.

IN AXEL'S ROOM

BOOM BOOM BOOM

Who could be pounding on his door now? He sighed and opened his door.

"Roxas? What's wrong? It looks like you just saw Xigbar using the bathroom."

"It's worse!"

"How worse?" Now Axel's look was a more concerned one. What could be worse than that?

Roxas quickly ran into the pyro's room and sat on his bed.

"The joker wants to kill me!"

"The joker? Roxas we've been through this how many times now? He doesn't exist, got it memorized?" he pointed his index finger to his head while saying his famous catch phrase.

"Look!" He outstretched his hand and held out the letter.

Axel took it from him and started to read it.

"Roxas," He said with a small chuckle. "You're getting over worked over fan mail. It's not the joker."

"You mean I'm not gonna die?" He asked hopefully.

"Nope, not if you don't reply that is." The pyro gave him back the letter and crossed his arms.

"Ok! I'm gonna reply right now!" Roxas then dashed out of his friends' room and back into his.

"Roxas…What are we going to do with you?" Axel asked himself before closing his door.

Roxas was at his desk replying to this person in a black sharpie.

Dear TheEighthLight,

YOU ARE NOT THE JOKER AND YOU NEVER WILL BE, AXEL TOLD ME YOU AREN'T THE JOKER AND HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT. EVEN IF YOU WERE THE JOKER (WHICH YOU AREN'T) I WOULD DESTROY YOU, FOR I AM BATMAN.

So to answer your question…. NO YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO KILL ME AND TAKE OVER MY SPOT! But if you want you can kill Xemnas or Vexen or even Saix and you could take their place. BUT NOT ME!

The one and the only,

BATMAN

"There! That should do it!" He sealed the letter into an envelope and was on his way to put it in the mail box for delivery.

END thank you again! If you have anything you'd like to say please PM me ONLY PLEASE :)