Well I should clarify that this was all based off of one of the Kevin blogs where he's obsessed with teacups. I do not own any of the references here, nor do I own post-it notes. Again, I do not own most of these things.

Edd wasn't sure how long he had been asleep but the sudden sharp pains and overall discomfort of his bed did not hesitate at all to wake him up. That and the brightness of the sun. Wait, sun? No that couldn't be right. He couldn't possibly have slept that late! Edd fuddled around, looking his phone to reassure him that he was fine or his alarm clock or anything that would tell him anything. But there was nothing. No alarm clock, no phone, no bed either. "Well that would explain the discomfort." he thought, only to have every thing wrong with this situation hit him like bullets in his back. "What the san hell is going on. I'm not in my room, It's clearly past when I went to bed, I have no way of contacting anybody and " He stopped himself only for a moment, catching his breath and trying to take in his surroundings.

He found himself inside of a cave with an entrance that seemed no bigger than a doggy door that he somehow slipped through. Edd immediately ran towards it , thinking that the best way to get out of a situation is through the way in. However, the closer he tried to walk towards it, the smaller and smaller it seemed to get. How was that even possible? "Don't panic Eddward. I'm sure there's a valid explanation for all of this. " he said to himself, only to calm himself down because he really had no idea what the hell was going on. It wasn't working though, and Edd kept trying various things like trying to get through to the now thumb-sized hole again or bang on the cave walls, saying that this wasn't funny anymore. But after a while, it seemed useless and in defeat, he sank down, rationing out the minutes he had until he would run out of oxygen and die.

He didn't know how many minutes passed but then another light started to shine from the other side. Edd, not really sure what to do at this point, saw no real harm in walking towards the other light. Forget walking, he started running as fast as his legs would take him. After all, this could have easily been a tunnel and that meant he could go. This meant he was free and he could see what the hell was going on now. This was amazing. It seemed that Edd's nightmare was going to be over.

That is, until a gnarled branch trapped his foot and caused him to fall. Edd was expecting to hit the ground; instead he was still falling. Again, Edd started to panic. Of course anybody would panic if they were falling down some hole that they had no idea where it was leading but this was different in more ways he could imagine. There was no way that this was possible. With the speed of gravity contributing to his fall even if he was a bit of a lightweight, he should have hit the ground by now. There was nothing preventing him from falling or holding him up, so why was he falling at such a slow rate. And the fact his body was still upright was just some other headache on its. own. If Edd could be glad for anything, it was that it was suddenly light enough for him to see his surroundings more clearly, even see things engraved in the wall.

And what strange things were engraved. Not just branches but entire trees it seemed were trapped, their knotted and gnarled branches trying to grab at him like they either wanted to save him or hurt him even more. Bookshelves filled with jars of Red Bull and classic literature that Edd only wished he had the time to start and finish. Mural sized portraits of some of the tender moments he had with Kevin, moments that were never going to leave his phone had he had his way. And was that a couch? A whole couch just jabbed in there for no particular reason. "I could use that about now." Edd thought before everything came to a stop, his face the first thing to hit the ground.

"Ouch." He hissed in pain, only to see that another tunnel was waiting for him. "I think I've had enough with these Delphic tunnels. I just want to get back to my room." Edd pouted, seeing a rather phallic looking door from far away. He groaned. The shape seemed rather random and he had the feeling something bad would come from it. But at the same time, at least it was a door and again, it was better than standing there and doing nothing. So he walked, almost thankful that he had to deal with no more tunnels and that there was only a dead end to take him to the door. A door that was only about eight inches tall and four inches thick. That's right; the door was not only the shape of a penis, but the size and width of one. "Freud must have spoken highly to whoever's responsible for this." Edd mused, coming across something that strangely wasn't there when he first got there.

It was a nice little table with a small brass key placed neatly next to a Coke bottle filled with some kind of vivid green substance and a yellow post it with perfect penmanship. "How odd..." Edd thought, picking up the both the key and post-it. He figured that the key was for the door but did not understand the purpose for the post-it.

"Drink me" The note said.

Edd scoffed. "Are you out of your right mind? I'm not going to drink this." It wasn't any kind of substance he could identify visually or pick apart chemically, not to mention the plausible fear that this could be some kind of poison was very real in his mind. It was then that another post it popped up, this time on his arm.

"Do it Eddward." He repeated what this note had to say too, this time a bit more startled not only at it's sudden appearance but the fact that it spelled his name correctly.

"What the! Where did this come from?" Edd asked, peeling the note off of his arm when he was done reading it and placing it with the original. The newest post-it note to arrive landed on his nose, with Edd picking it up before it could fall to the ground.

"Pretend it's Kevin's - "

"That's Hardly appropriate for this situation!" He said, his face going a bit red from the implications. He didn't know how these notes were coming up and why they knew these kinds of things about him, but he had to figure out quickly. This was because faster than any meiosis he had ever seen, notes started to multiply, all with "DO IT" written rather violently and coating the bare cave wall and fluttering all around him in hurricane like speeds. Enough of those paper cuts could cause him to bleed to death and Eddward wasn't ready to die yet. "Fine! I'll drink it if it will cease the post-its!" He yelled in exasperation, downing half of the liquid.

With a tingle in his body and a loud pop, Edd shrunk down to the size of a dollar bill. "This is getting ridiculous." He frowned, figuring that he better save his energy for the harshest of reprimanding to whoever was behind all this. That is, if he ever got out of this alive. So far, the only relief he had was the key in his pocket. Reaching for it, he found that the key was attached to something. Edd pulled it out: A small sugar cookie with pink icing and the words 'Eat Me' in delicate icing calligraphy. If Edd wasn't infuriated before, then he wouldn't know what to call the emotion he had now. "Eat me, Drink me. I've already experienced puberty!" He shouted, detaching the key and throwing the cookie to some part of the room. Now it was just him and the key. "Let's just get out of here." He said, fashioning the key through the hole and opening the door.

If the rest of the way home was as infuriating as this one task, Edd didn't know how he would make it.

Well that's chapter 2 for ya. I'm sorry it's long and boring! It'll start getting better now that Edd has people to talk to and various sex to have. Again, please R&R