Chapter 2: I'm Sorry
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I rolled my face quickly to the right to dodge Magic Man's fist, but it never hit me. Expecting to hear a soft thump, I opened my eyes. "What the hell? Where did he go?" I asked myself. I rubbed my eyes contently. Perhaps that was all a dream. One really messed up dream. I pushed myself off of the waving grass and chuckled. What would I do if all the girls in Ooo loved me? I would freak out for sure, or maybe date some of chicks. I shrugged off that thought and climbed up the rotten ladders of our tree house. "Jake where are you?" I asked. I looked around an saw no one there. Perhaps, he went off for earlier shopping. Looking at the pink calendar smoothed out on the table, I noticed the date. There was only four days left till that day, and I had slept for a lumping day. Wait, back it up... Why do I care?
Worried for my friend, I hopped down the stairs to look for him instead I found a note:
"Dear Finny Boy,
By the way, I think I might of accidentally kidnapped your friend Jack. So until you find your valentine, I'll keep him for company.
Love, Magic Mon."

"His name is Jake," I shouted to nobody in particular. All this jazz is so confusing (A/N if you don't get it send me a private message. I'll explain.) "Great it wasn't a dream after all," I sighed. Deciding to go look for Jake and the green "cupid," I opened the front door and walked out. Unfortunately, I walked into LSP. "Oh my god, Finn. I've been looking for you all day. Will you be my valentine?" she asked obnoxiously. "No and no, LSP! Look there's Brad!" I shouted. Even when she was under a spell, LSP had a short attention span. "Where?!" Lumpy Space Princess asked when I broke into a run. "No, Finnah," smiled LSP after she got her lumpy purple body to start moving. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe, so I looked upward at LSP's lumpy bottom. She SAT on me! I thrashed and clawed at her bottom.

"Oh, Finn. Will you be my valentine?" grunted Lumpy Princess. "No! Now get off of me!" I screamed. My shouts didn't get far and were muffled because of her puke purple fat. I desperately tried to rub my face, which she was grinding with her hip. Why was she so desperate? Is this how she acts towards the guy she loves? After extreme effort, I managed to thrust my arms outside of her butt area. With a sticky sensation, I felt myself being pulled from under LSP's buttocks. "Mah man!" she shouted. I stared at my savior's pink dress: Princess Bubblegum. She looked beautiful with her long slick hair twisted elegantly into a bun, but something was off. PB giggled quietly and leaned closer to my ear.

Bubblegum whispered, "Finally, I found you. Can you be mine this Valentines Day?" I thought I was over my old crush, but after looking at her sparkling eyes, I wasn't so sure. She pushed me towards the wall near a dumpster. "Now all your fan girls won't find you," she laughed melodically. My head hit the wall a little bit harder than I wanted it to. I realized that if I agreed to be her valentine I would probably get my heart broken. She was only acting like this because of Magic Man's spell. I took a deep breath and looked into her sea blue eyes. Grasping her shoulders lightly but firmly, I gently said, "No." Her bottom lip quivered as I cringed farther from her. "But...but... I calculated every step so perfectly. How could you turn me down?" she pleaded with a broken look on her face. I put my arms around her shoulders and hugged her. "Then tell me why you love me," I replied. "Well, you're Finn, and ..." she stuttered. "I'm sorry," I cooed. It hurt me to see my best friend hurt, but I knew it wouldn't work. As I walked away from the dark ally, I fell into a hole in the sewer and only saw black.

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Sorry it's not a Fubblegum pairing. Hate me all you want. BTW speaking of hate. This month is No Abuse month. I'm always up for a chat if you need me.