Jade scrambled around the RV, desperately searching for Beck's yellow checked shirt – something for her to remember him by, but all she could find was the red one.
It was useless. It was practically hers now, and after wearing it a couple hundred times it stank like her. If she left, she needed something of Beck's, covered in his scent. Aftershave, hair mouse and sweat – not the disgusting, clammy stuff, but the kind that accompanied ragged breathing after a night of makeup sex. God she loved that smell. The sex wasn't half bad either.
It sounded stupid, but if she was to be alone now, with nothing but a baby for company she needed something of Beck's – that smelt like him – with her. Something to cuddle up to on those cold nights, God knows where, whilst the baby cried all night. It would comfort her, help her to believe he was still there.
She needed him, she realised. He had to be with her on those nights. He just had to. But he couldn't, she couldn't ruin his life with this baby – fuck, it wasn't even that. Just a growing foetus in her stomach. If it was so small, so meaningless, than why was it ripping her and Beck apart?
Maybe it was a sign. A sign that her a Beck were never going to work. Ever. He was so more suited to Vega, that skinny bitch. At least she didn't have a baby growing inside of her. And anyway, Vega would treat him well, tell him he was amazing – Jade had never done that - he would love it, would be happy with Tori. Happier than with her. So fucking happy.
Which is what you want, Jade retold herself. She had wasted precious minutes contemplating her shitty, so called life. To many minutes, so she grabbed one of Beck's infamous biker boots, scrawled a note on the side with a sharpie and put the other one on. Like Cinderella, she thought, but my prince will never find me. Reality isn't a fucking fairy tale.
As she grabbed her bag, she took one last look around the RV. So many memories, so many more to come – but this time without her. And without a second glance she turned around and left, slamming the RV door for the last time.