Classes were so boring. There was almost no point to these lectures, who cared that the Shimura and Sarutobi clan joined Konoha at the same time? Sure their Hokage was a Sarutobi, and a few of his classmates were Sarutobi as well, it was a big strong clan. Not as big as the Hyuuga or Uchiha, but still a strong clan and…. "Oh my god."
"Kizashi!" Inumaru-sensei barked, his voice like the crack of thunder, and the chalk he threw like a bolt of lightning smacked Kizashi right in the forehead with enough force to knock him out of his chair. Inumaru was a large burly man that was equal parts sensei and drill sergeant… pretty much the perfect example of what a ninja instructor was supposed to be. "Mind explaining to me what earth-shattering revelation you're experiencing during my lector?"
Kizashi groaned, rubbing the dust-covered mark on his forehead. "Oh nothing, sensei, I just realized that I might actually be learning something."
Inumaru's nostrils flared, his face red with anger and his shoulders pulled back. "Perhaps if you were to show that on your tests, or homework rather than by disrupting my class, Miss Mikoto wouldn't have to spend her Saturdays tutoring you lot!"
Miss Mikoto was only a few years older than the class (And already a chunin, if wasn't for her scary boyfriend every boy in the class would be after her), she was smart, funny, and nice. But she was also twice as scary as Inumaru Sensei when she got mad. "Inumaru-Sensei! Can you please just resume the lesson?"
"Very well, now where was I?"
Kizashi could almost feel the collective groan of the class. This was just another one of the lessons that were less focused on making them better ninja, and more focused on being better humans. Which was technically a good thing.
The Hokage entered the door, drawing everyone's attention to him like moths to a flame, beside him was a blond boy about their age, that looked a bit like the other blond boy in their class.
And their-sensei just continued to drone on and on.
"Inumaru-Sensei?" The Hokage coughed, resting a hand on the blond's shoulders.
Inumaru yelped, spinning around on his heels to bow far to deeply at the Hokage so that he looked like an ostrich burying its head in the dirt. "Forgive me for my rudeness Lord Third!"
"Your eagerness to teach is why I gave you this position, old friend, now then I have a new student for you." The Hokage gestured to the new blonde boy. "This is-"
"My Name is Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto shouted taking a step away from the Hokage, chest puffing out like a hot air balloon. He had wild blue eyes and a shit-eating grin. Kizashi liked him already. "And I'm going to be Hokage Believe it!"
Naruto was struck down by a flying shoe.
"Like hell you are!" The other Uzumaki in the classroom shouted, her long red hair flailing behind her like snakes ready to strike. Kushina Uzumaki, prideful, boastful, and scariest girl in all three classes was earning a name as Konoha's red-hot-habanero. And for good reason. She slammed a shoeless foot on the table, glaring at Naruto, her finger aimed at him menacingly. "There's no way in hell you're an Uzumaki, and no way in Hell you're going to be the Hokage!"
"What the hell you bitch!" Naruto feebly threw her shoe back at her, though it went wild and ended up wildly off target. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm Kushina Uzumaki! And I'm going to be the next Hokage, not some dumb blond!" Kushina pumped her fist flexing her muscles as a sign of intimidation. Which considering how she was the most tenacious and dirty fighter in their class was more than an empty threat.
"Kushina! Naruto! That's enough!" Inumaru barked silencing the class. "How dare you show such disrespect in front of our Hokage. Both of you will be joining Kizashi in detention after class!"
Oh, goodie, he got to have detention… again… Oh well, wasn't like Mebuki was going to accept his offer to go on a date with him anyway. After a quick scolding from both Inumaru and the Hokage, Naruto was given his seat, right in front of him.
He seemed to be fun.
"Psst, hey Naruto." Kizashi leaned over the desk, tapping on Naruto's shoulder.
Naruto grunted, shaking his shoulder before he turned to look at Kizashi. "What? I'm already in enough trouble."
Kizashi just smiled extending his hand out towards Naruto. "Name's Kizashi, I guess we'll be in detention together."
A pregnant pause stretched over an eternity as Naruto stared at the hand long enough for Kizashi to consider taking it back. Then that shit eating grin came back and Naruto took his hand. "Nice to meet you."
XXXX
As it turned out, the past wasn't so different from the present. Or was it future now? This time travel stuff was confusing. Still, it was all the same… mostly at any rate. He got in trouble for something that so wasn't his fault, and was now in detention where the only thing to do was stare at the clock until his eyeballs bled.
He shouldn't even be here! As soon as they finished their Ramen the old man dumped him here like it was some kind of daycare saying that he had something to take care of. Just like in the future the Old Man was going out of his way to blow him off. They didn't even get Ichiraku's Ramen!
Joining a new class should have been fun and exciting, it was his chance to meet new friends and maybe find a girl that would like him! Instead, it got ruined by some angry red-headed crazy girl!
She turned to him, face scrunched up in anger. "You got something you want to say?"
This girl was seriously pissing him off. "Yea, this is all your fault!"
"My fault?" Kushina snapped, standing up from her seat that was as far away from him as she could manage. "How is this my fault! You're the idiot that lied to everybody!"
"You threw your shoe at me!"
"Cause you're a liar!"
"How am I a liar? Everything I said is true!" Naruto stood up pointing his thumb at his chest. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I am going to be the Hokage!"
"Liar!" She spat marching up to him. "There's no way in hell you're an Uzumaki!" They were butting heads right now, Kushina's violet eyes sparked with violence that promised one thing: Pain. Lots and lots of pain.
"Yea and what would you know about it huh?" Naruto ignored the danger sign that was flaring in the back of his mind, as some long forgotten survival instinct was doing its best to spare him from harm.
She slammed her head into his. It sounded like two coconuts bouncing off of one another. "Owie, owie, ow."
Naruto scrambled back rubbing the now tender spot on his head that was making his ears ring. This bitch was crazy. Sure he was about to do the same thing, but that was beside the point.
With the same fiery glare as before she rubbed her head. "What I know about it is that you're not an Uzumaki because I know every Uzumaki in this village. And I'm going to become the next Hokage, not some numb-nut loser like you! Honestly, who shouts their name like that to the whole class like that!?"
"You did that when you joined our class too," Kizashi - who was easily the coolest person Naruto had met so far - said.
Kushina went so red that her entire face resembled a tomato. "Shut your mouth Kizashi! Nobody asked you!"
"No one asked you either!" Naruto interjected, this girl was such a handful! She was a million times worse than Sasuke! And she wasn't even pretty too!
"Would you two shut up?" Kizashi growled, pushing the two of them away from each other. "Honestly if Uzumaki was a personality you'd both be it."
"We're nothing alike!" Naruto shouted at the same time as Kushina. Pointing at her while she pointed at him. "Quit copying me."
Kizashi groaned, "Look, that's great and all but do you guys want to sneak out of here or something before Miss Mikoto gets back with more homework for us?"
"But, I like Miss Mikoto," Kushina whined, the spot where their heads collided still a sore red.
"But do you like homework? Besides we're ninja… well almost, part of our job is sneaking out of places!"
That shut her up.
"Now follow me I know a way out of here."
The old academy was as much trap as it was school, with false dead-ends, pit-traps, and hidden paths littered throughout the building. Kizashi led them through a maze of corridors, crawl spaces, and hidden doors until they came out through the base of a still growing tree.
When asked about how he knew about the path he just smiled.
"What kind of name is Naruto anyway?" Kushina asked, looking back towards the academy as it vanished into the trees. "I mean that can't be your real name, right? Who would name their kid after a fishcake?"
"My name is Naruto! Naruto Uzumaki. That's who I am, I've never even met another Uzumaki. I didn't even know there were other Uzumaki," Naruto huffed, it wasn't his fault, he didn't even know who his parents were. "What do other Uzumaki look like?"
"They all have a big mouth," Kizashi interjected as he led them away from the academy. He, at least, seemed to know what he was doing.
"Watch it Kizashi, I can and will kick your ass," Kushina growled pushing a strand of her hair back either ignoring or unaware of the leafs that were stuck in her long red hair. "And what do you mean you've never met another Uzumaki? Where are you from?"
"Konoha," Naruto shrugged. The old man had given him a long story to tell about how he was saved by some ninja that trained him a bit and then sent him to Konoha. But he forgot it. Besides, it wasn't like he could keep a secret anyways. "I'm from the future or something."
"Liar," Kushina interrupted him punching him in the shoulder. "There's no way you're from the future so quit lying, just because you're some no-name nobody doesn't mean you have to lie about who you are too-"
"I'm not lying!" Naruto spun to stare at Kushina again. "I don't care if you believe me. My name is Naruto, I am an Uzumaki, and I am from the future!"
Their glared went on for what felt like forever. Neither one of them backing down.
Then Kushina sighed. "Fine, whatever, you're from the future, but still you should have seen some Uzumaki. Here's a couple of hints." She pointed at herself. "They're all like me, same pasty skin, same red hair, same purple or red eyes, and we're all super duper loud and stubborn."
"Well, he nails the last part." Kizashi began to climb a large tree, offering Naruto a hand up.
"I don't remember seeing anybody like that in the village. Maybe something happens to them and I'm the last one?" There were other Uzumaki's at this time. That was great… Right? He began to climb up the tree alongside Kizashi. Why was he following him again? Why was Kushina following them?
"Yea right," Kushina snorted. "We have our own village! We probably just went back there!"
"The Uzumaki have their own village?"
"You really do suck at history and stuff don't you?" Kizashi laughed. "It's so unbelievable that you're from the future I almost want to believe you."
"The Old Man said the same thing." Naruto groaned, they even took all of his money, because it wasn't good or something. "If I can prove it, I would."
"Then tell us what happens in the future, if you can remember anything, you dunce," Kushina growled, scrambling up past him and onto the same branch as Kizashi.
"Don't you have the lowest grades in the class Kushina?" Kizashi was barely able to dodge the shoe that was thrown at him.
"Shut your mouth Kizashi!" Kushina scrambled up onto a higher branch, her bare foot dangling, eyes scanning the horizon. "I can pass the tests if they mattered but they don't."
Naruto sat on the branch next to Kizashi, they were high enough to be over the tree line for most of the forest, giving them a view of Konoha's rolling forest as it merged into a valley between two mountains. "I know that there's a Third Ninja War, and then the Fourth Hokage is a guy."
"Your story gets more unbelievable by the second," Kushina flung herself backward, her long hair forming a curtain in front of his face as she glared at him once again. "I might have believed you if you said I was the Hokage. But I guess you're just a big old liar."
She tapped him on the nose.
"Yea well whatever, other stuff happens to, I just don't know it. It's not my fault that I suck at school, it's so boring!" Naruto swatted away Kushina's hand.
"Well, what else happens? I'm honestly kind of interested now." Kizashi smiled, "Besides not like we have anything else to do until detention is over and they aren't looking for us anymore."
"Well, there's the Uchiha thing, somebody kills all of them but one. And then there's the Kyuubi attack."
"Kyuubi attack?" Kushina asked, her arms dangling below her head. She looked concerned, and afraid. "The Kyuubi attacks?"
"Yea, on the day I was born," Naruto looked past her to the growing shadows cast by the sun entering the last few hours of daylight. "It killed a lot of people, the Fourth Hokage killed it but he also died-"
"Idiot!" Kushina snapped her fingers onto his forehead, flipping back up onto her own branch. "You can't kill the Kyuubi you have to seal it! It's a Bijuu, you idiot! Stupid Stupid Stupid!"
"Well, whatever! I'm just saying what I know!" Naruto shouted glaring at the back of Kushina's head. Seriously she was such a bitch!
"Not that I believe you or anything, but how far in the future are you?" It was almost a whisper, barely heard over the cries of birds and gusts of wind. She sounded afraid.
Naruto swallowed, "Well according to the Old Man, I'm twenty-six years in the past or something."
"So does that mean the Kyuubi will attack the village in thirteen years?"
Naruto bit his lip and nodded. "Yea," That day was going to be something he needed to see. He needed to find out who his parents were. And if he was going to be the Fourth Hokage then he was going to beat the Kyuubi without dying. "But don't worry, I'll make sure the Kyuubi doesn't kill anybody, Believe it!"
"Idiot," Kushina whispered.
The tree shook slightly and a shadow appeared on their branch. Naruto turned to look at it and nearly fell out of the tree. It was the Teacher Assistant lady! Miss Mikoto! Her glare was dark and serious. "Oh, children! I found you!"
Kushina screamed and tried to get away, but Mikoto was fast, really fast. She grabbed the girl by the back of her neck and scooped Naruto up as well. "You two just earned two whole weeks of detention! And we're going to be going over the entire history of Konoha!"
As he was dragged back to class against his will Naruto couldn't help but look up and see Kizashi still on the branch offering them the peace sign. "Kizashi! You Bastard!"
Betad by: xxTerror33xx AN: Man this is making me smile about how much I get to be tongue in cheek. Next chapter should have some action, and hopefully lead us to getting this kids out of the academy.