****I'm so sorry!!!! I did not mean to mess up chapter two!!! So now th real one's back =)
I decided to get rid of the stuff I was talking about here before. But you're reviews still make my day =) I thank you very much for all the feedback.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Darkest Powers series, that would be Kelley Armstrong's
"If that's not it then what was it?" I asked, hoping her response would ease my guilt. My fault. All my fault. The words repeated through my head, keeping rhythm like a metronome. Pictures flashed past my eyes. A wolf battering itself against a fence. Simon being cornered by the other young werewolves. The kid I threw crumpled, unmoving on the asphalt. Chloe clutching her arm in the Lyle House basement. Just a couple nights ago when I almost threw that girl. Chloe being cut by glass after staying behind to help me with my first change...and here we were. Just like that night I had hurt her again. Making her come out into this forest, causing her to stay up all night. This thing inside me had done so much bad because sometimes I just couldn't keep it inside me. Look what it had done. Again.
"It was nothing"
"It was something. You have been sitting awake all night. You were in a trance before, Chloe. Something is wrong here."
"It doesn't matter. I'm fine now, we should get going."
"Oh no we shouldn't. Seriously, something obviously happened to you and I don't think anything else was in these woods but us. Trust me, I would have smelled them."
"Can't you just drop it?"
"No, Chloe, I really can't. If I thought it didn't involve me I wouldn't ask, but I can't see how it wouldn't seeing as there wasn't anybody else in this forest.
"Fine. It was this girl okay? I thought it was a dog at first, the way she was on the ground. She was in the woods with this man. He was killing her, kicking her, pulling her hair. He drew a knife and split open her throat. I wanted to help her, but..." She let out a sigh. "It wasn't real. Well it was-- once. But I was just seeing some kind of ghostly replay." Unlike I had hoped, my guilt did not lessen. Still my fault she was in this forest.
"And you watched that all night?"
"No, it's back there. I didn't look." she said waving over her shoulder, a slightly ill expression crossing over her face. At least she hadn't watched, much anyway. She must've watched at least twice to know it replayed.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" Save me some of this awful pondering.
"You were tired. I didn't want to bother you." Yup, my change--well half change-- is to blame after all.
"Bother me? That is the stupidest--" I paused before finding a more accurate word. After what she had done for me, waking up and going somewhere wouldn't have been such a bothersome thing. "Wrong word. Stubborn, not stupid...and yelling at you right now isn't helping, is it?"
"Not really."
"Next time, wake me up. I don't expect you to tough something out like that and I'm not impressed that you did." Well maybe just a little...
"Yes, sir."
"And next time you don't tell me, I will yell at you."
"Yes, sir." She sounded like a soldier.
"I'm not your drill sergeant, Chloe. I don't like getting on your case all the time." I really don't. I just can't help myself from trying to save her, to have her stop caring so much for everyone else and care more for herself. "I don't mean to..." upset you so much. I finished the sentence in my mind before I sighed, shaking my head. I got off my knees and stood up. "Give me a minute to get dressed, and we'll head into the truck stop, warm up, and get some breakfast." I grabbed my clothes of the ground and went into the thicket but continued to plan out our day as I changed.
"The main bus station is in the city. I'm hoping we'll have enough for cab fare. When we get inside, we'll call and get the bus rates and schedule, so we'll know how much money we have left over."
"I've got" --began Chloe reaching into her pocket and pulling out four crumpled bills-- "Eighty. I left the rest in my backpack. I don't like carrying it all around."
"Most of mine is in my backpack, too, which I forgot on the bus." I cussed at myself. Why couldn't I at least do one thing right?
"You were in no shape to be remembering anything last night. I should have thought to grab mine." This was not her fault. She really needed to stop trying to take the blame.
"But you were worried about me. Never mind, we'll have enough. I've got about a hundred..." I patted my jeans down, trying to find which side the wad of bills was in. When I couldn't find anything I reached inside, but to no avail. I cussed at myself again. "It must have fallen out. Where did you get my jeans from?"
"Right where you left them, folded by the tree. I checked the pockets first. There was just an energy bar wrapper."
"I know I had--" I cut myself off, swearing yet again. "No, I moved the money to my jacket which I left on the bus." Great. Not only was all my money in my jacket, but it would have been another layer to use. Chloe said something about having enough money for the food and trip. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." I muttered to myself. I walked out from the bushes, fully clothed.
"Like I said, you had other things on your mind. We both did. And neither of us is used to playing fugitive yet. We'll learn. For now, let's get inside. I'm freezing." Which is why I should have brought my jacket...
Once we were at the bus station, Chloe headed for the phone while I went in the bathroom. I didn't want to take too much time to I quickly rinsed my hair in the sink, wiped most of the mud off my sweatshirt, and wiped down my T-shirt to make it a little less sticky. I emerged from to the room to find to Chloe, slight smile on her face, finally looking warmed up.
"Good news or bad--" she stopped herself, minutely shaking her head. "Dumb question. Bad, right?"
"Yeah." I didn't think it could get much worse than it already was.
"We've got a two-mile walk to the nearest bus stop, plus one transfer to get to the terminal. The good news? The fare is sixty dollars for two students to New York, so we have enough for breakfast." I felt bad again for forgetting the money. I had wanted to be able to take the cab so she wouldn't freeze again.
We also got deodorant and a comb. I think we were both actually fairly presentable when we left the bathroom again. For breakfast we had peanuts, an energy bar, and a carton of milk each. I only ate half my bar, saving some in case we needed it later.
Chloe was abnormally silent after we began our walk. Whenever I looked over at her she seemed fine but I couldn't help but think that something was still bugging her. "You're quiet this morning."
"Just tired." I tried to just drop it. I really did. But I couldn't stand just walking and not doing anything to make things right. I held out about two minutes or so.
"It's last night, isn't it? If you want to talk about it..."
"Not really." What was I supposed to do with her? She wasn't going to talk about it and there was no way I could push her about it. I already did that way too much. Instead, I settled for glancing at her every few seconds so I knew that she was still there, unharmed, and hadn't broken down. She must have been incredibly annoyed by it because she decided talking to me was better.
"I keep thinking about when I first saw that girl in trouble. When I thought it was real. I was going to do something--"
"What?" I said cutting her off. She shrugged
"Yell. Distract him." This was why she was in trouble so much. Trying to save people, helping others, following the will of ghosts.
"If it was real, you shouldn't have even thought of getting involved. The guy had a knife. He was obviously ready to use it."
"That wasn't really the point." She mumbled to her feet. Of course that wasn't the point. With Chloe it was never about the fact that she might get her throat slit...
"Okay. So the point was..." I left it open so she could fill in the rest.
"I saw that knife and I froze. All I could think about was that girl in the alley, the one who held a knife on me. If last night had been real, I might have let someone die because I was too freaked out to do anything." At least her subconscious wanted to keep her alive.
"But it wasn't real." She looked up at me incredulously. "Okay. Again that wasn't your point. But what happened in that alley-- you still hadn't had time to slow down and..." I made churning gestures with my hands, making them circle around each other slowly, as I searched for that word. "Process it. You talked to Simon about it, right?"
She shook her head.
I frowned at her. This was what was making her go into shock. She needed to talk to someone. "But you did tell him what happened"
She shook her head again.
"You should. You need to talk to someone. You sure can't talk to Tori," That annoying little witch, "Liz is probably a good listener, but she's not around." I took in a deep breath then let it out slowly. I could see only one other alternative if she was to be kept from this state. "You could talk to me, but you've probably figured out I'm not good with stuff like that. I mean, if you wanted to..." What was I saying? I wasn't any good at stuff like that. How was I going to help? I sighed quietly so she wouldn't hear. I wouldn't be of any help. My shoulders slumped, in a feeling of uselessness."It should be Simon. He'd want to know what happened, and he'd want you to be the one to tell him." It came out firmer than necessary, yet not firm enough.
She nodded but frowned infinitesimally. So much for getting her to talk it out. "I've been thinking. After what happened, I should learn how too defend myself. Some basic self-defense moves."
"That's a good idea." Finally, some sign of self preservation.
"Great, co could you--"
I cut her off before we had to go down that path. "I'll ask Simon to teach you some." It would be a reason to tell him about the alley. If she wouldn't I would have to, so she could talk about it to someone.
"Oh. I thought... I guess I thought that would be more your area."
"Our dad taught us both. Simon's good. Unless..." I looked down at her, seeing her small frame, and knowing I would be awful at teaching in general. Besides, I relied on my strength and size a lot, but Chloe couldn't really do that being so small. "I mean, if you want, sure, I can help out. But Simon would be a better teacher. He's got the patience for it."
"Right. I'll talk to Simon then." But she said it with that faint frown again. Meaning she probably didn't want to.
The conversation left me feeling warm like last night. Was my fever coming back? I lifted my hand to my forehead, making it looked like I was pushing my hair out of my face, but couldn't tell that anything was wrong. The feeling lasted until the bus station.