Summary: It's five months after their break-up. Valentine's day is around the corner and Sugar asked Santana to perform at the Sugar Shack. She sings her heart out and then Brittany appears.
Song: Don't you remeber - Adele
Please listen to the song and read the lyrics because they are soooo important and expresses everything Santana feels. Really important! Thanks ;)
Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Santana let out a heavy sigh and noticed just how tired she looked. It's been almost five months since her and Brittany broke up but Santana still wakes up every morning with the same dull ache in her heart. A couple weeks after their break-up she wanted to makes things right again but when Santana arrived back in Lima, she found out the hard way that Brittany had moved on rather quickly.
When Santana walks around the McKinley hallways, a sea of people spread apart to let her pass. She smirks at the thought of the terrifying effect she still has at her old high school. She made her way down the hall and ready to turn the corner where she knew Brittany would be standing at her locker. She had sent a text earlier, asking Brittany to meet up at her locker to talk. The hallways were a very public place to confess her feelings, but she did it right there the first time. Their lockers were always a bit special to them because of all the things that happened between them; confessions, rejection, hope and most of all love. Santana thought it would be perfect. Her nerves kicked in when she reached the corner and a smile appeared on her face, thinking she was about to see her favorite person in the world. But her smile dropped immediately when she rounded the corner and eyes went ice cold at the sight in front of her. Brittany leaned with her back against her locker, her hands gripped tightly on the shirt of the person standing in front of her. Sam. He had one hand on her waist and the other on the locker next to the blonde's head. Bodies only inches apart, lips sealed together. Sammy fucking Evans was kissing with HER Brittany, had his hand on HER Brittany, made HER Brittany giggle.
She wanted to run out and stab out her eyes but she was frozen. She couldn't move, she wanted to but she was so shocked that it seemed her mind and body were on hold. She didn't think of anything, her mind was completely blank. She didn't know how long she stood there but it seemed like hours.
When they finally broke apart, Brittany turned her gaze towards the frozen Latina a couple of feet away who let out a noise of exasperation. When Santana took in a big breath, it got stuck in her lungs because of the cerulean eyes that were now fixated on her chocolate ones. "San? Shit…" the blonde muttered and the Latina was snapped back into reality and her mind kicked back in motion. Without a single word she turned on her heels and left the school building. When she stepped in her car, her tears were already flowing freely and her heart writhed in pain. It was like someone cut open her chest and stabbed her hard with a blunt knife very slowly and over and over again. Brittany had already moved on…
She didn't notice Brittany standing next to her car until she heard her tapping on the window. Santana tried to cover up her tears, not wanting the blonde to see her breaking down, but her cheeks were wet and her eyes red. Brittany opened the car door and reached out a hand to grab the Latina's hand but when Santana felt the touch of pale skin on hers, she flinched. Brittany's eyes widen, and a flash of hurt covered her eyes. "San? What's wrong?" At those words, Santana snapped and turned her head to the blonde so fast she thought her head would fly off. "SERIOUSLY? You were just sucking face with Sam and you except me to be fine?! What the hell Britt? I thought you loved me but now it's clear you don't and never have.." The moment those words escaped her mouth, Santana already regretted saying them. It wasn't fair of her to lash out at Brittany like that. Their eyes locked for a few seconds. Blue ones filled with hurt and tears in the corners. Santana was about to apologize when the blonde turned on her heel and left Santana without saying one word. That was the last time she saw Brittany.
The ringing of her phone made her snap out of her thoughts and she rolled her eyes when seeing who called her. She swiped her finger to unlock her phone and brought it to her ear.
"Yes Sugar?" She loved her friend but sometimes she could be an annoying little brat. "No of course I haven't forgotten, I'll be there in like fifteen minutes…God don't wet your panties….Yeah yeah, see you in a minute. Bye" Dropping her phone on her bed, she groaned in frustration because she promised to help Sugar out tonight. It was Valentine 's Day and since the Sugar Shack was such a success last year, she decided to do another one this year. Sugar asked her to perform and Santana got excited to sing for an audience again. Since she moved the New York a month ago trying to start her music career, it didn't really go as planned. She lived with Kurt and Rachel to split the rent and was currently working as a waitress downtown. She still waited to get a phone call from a big music label to fulfill her dream so she took it day by day at the time. Anything to distract her from the pain and sorrow. Santana was reluctant to go but she promised so did the finishing touch on her make-up and got ready to go.
When Santana arrived at Breadstix it was already a full house. All the New Directions newbie's were there along with Blaine, Joe, Tina, Mike and Mercedes. Sugar was behind the bar bossing everyone around. The Latina made her way towards the bar and waved at her friends while passing by. When Sugar saw Santana coming towards her, she almost jumped from behind the bar and threw herself in the arms of the dark haired girl. "Wow! Easy there with the PDA Sugar." She awkwardly hugged the other girl who had a huge grin on her face, before pushing her lightly back. "Sorry Santana but I really missed you! I haven't seen you in two months.." Santana smiles back and places a hand on Sugar's shoulder. "I've missed you too Sugar.." To say Sugar was her rock the past couple of months was an understatement. The girl endured every hysterical crying session on the phone in the middle of the night without complaining. She just was there for Santana when she needed it the most. Normally she would call Quinn but since their Thanksgiving debacle they aren't exactly on good terms. It was when Sugar visited her when she was still in Kentucky, she knew she could lean on the quirky girl.
"I-is..is she here?" Santana said softly while adverting her eye to the ground. She really hoped Brittany wasn't coming, especially if Sam was with her. Sugar frowned at the sad expression on the Latina's face and gently rubbed up and down a tanned arm for comfort. "No, she's euhm…she had other plans.." Santana didn't need to hear Sugar saying the words to understand that Brittany probably would be with Sam.
Santana just nods and tries to hide the hurt expression on her face. "So when am I up?" A smile reappears on Sugar's face and she pulls the Latina along with her to an empty table. "You are up last so we can have drinks first!" They take a seat and Sugar snapping her fingers, she calls a waiter. "Yo hottie, two shots of tequila please"
"No no tequila for me, just a coke please" Santana says without looking up at the waiter so she doesn't notice how the waiter is giving her a once over and keeps staring at her, his eyes focused on her ribcage. Sugar doesn't know if she's more astonished about Santana not drinking or that she's not going all Lima Heights on this guy's ass. Sugar shoos off the waiter when the first performance begins.
The rest of the night is pretty uneventful and when the evening is almost at its end, it was time for Santana to sing. She made her way over to the stage where the band was waiting for her. When she heard the first strings of the guitar playing she took the mic and closed her eyes, letting the song take over her emotions. What she didn't notice, was a certain blonde who entered Breadstix.
When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye,
Not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any scene,
I had no idea of the state we were in,
I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,
But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,
When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,
But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,
But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,
Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,
Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,
When will I see you again?
When the song ended, she opened her eyes again. She realized she had her eyes closed during the entire song and on her cheeks were tears slowly rolling down. Awkwardly she cleared her throat and left the stage to step outside the restaurant. The cool February weather caused chills all over her black dress covered body and clouds of air were visible when she breathed heavy. Santana didn't hear the other person that followed her outside so when cool, slender fingers grazed her bare shoulders she jumped up in surprise but when she felt the familiar skin, her body relaxed immediately. The touch of skin brought back all the memories she shared with the one person she ever loved. She let out a quiet sigh before turning around and meeting azure eyes that looked at her intently. The hand on her shoulder slowly made its way over her arm to her hand where she received a small squeeze before their hands dropped down. Their eyes locked and for a moment, Santana's heart stood still. God she missed those eyes. The eyes that hold her whole world. The eyes that could make her the happy as well as miserable. Santana was convinced it were the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen and she knew everything about them. She knew when Brittany was truly happy when the edge of her irises where lighter. When the edge was darker, she was excited. And when they were fully darker, the blonde was upset like now. Santana wanted to say something, anything but she couldn't. She was mesmerized by the blonde so when Brittany spoke, Santana was a bit startled. "Santana? Are you ok?" When brought back to reality, Santana remembered the last time she saw Brittany. "Euhm yeah, I'm fine….you?" A small smile and a nod was all she got from the blonde. A few moments of silence fell between them and Santana took the opportunity to gather all her courage to apologize to the blonde.
"Brittany, I-I want to apologize…for what I said. It was completely unfair of me and I'm sorry." Brittany's face expression was blank. Normally Santana would know what was going on in Brittany's mind by just one look, but now it was a mystery.
"It was unfair of you to react like that. You broke up with me remember?" Brittany wasn't going to let her off that easy.
"But I never said we were apart for good. I just wanted to give us both some time to really think about things before our relationship got ruined for some stupid reason. You know, that day I was going to talk to you about that. I wanted for us to be together again. But when I saw you together with Sam, you clearly already moved on so..." Santana wanted to slap herself for letting Snix resurface when she knew she was wrong.
Brittany's eyes got so dark and she only had ever seen them like that when the blonde was mad. No scratch that, when she was furious. "What the hell Santana? You can't blame this all on me! You're the one who wanted a break, not me. You're the one who left ME behind. I never wanted any of that! I loved you!"
"Then why are you with Sam? If you loved me, why would you be with Sam that soon?" Santana regretted coming back to Lima. All these months she managed to stay away and it made it a bit easier but now she was royally fucked. Stupid Sugar with her stupid Sugar Shack the Latina thought.
"YOU BROKE UP WITH ME! You left me Santana! For weeks I was a mess! You didn't love me anymore! Sam was just helping me out like a friend but then one thing led to another...He didn't make me happy but I wasn't unhappy either. What was I supposed to do?"
"I-I..." Santana was utterly speechless and broke their gaze the look at the ground ashamed. Everything was ruined now and it was all her fault. Silent. Both of them just stood there, both engulfed in their own thoughts until Brittany broke the silence again.
"Did you mean it? The song?" Brown orbs immediately shot back up to blue ones. Again, Brittany's face was unreadable.
"Yes, every single word. But it doesn't matter because you're with Sam now and if he makes you happy, you should be with him." Santana knew she had to let go of the blonde. Sure Santana would be miserable for the rest of her days but at least Brittany would be happy.
"Actually I'm not…we broke up last month."
Santana mentally smiled and her hope came back. "Y-you did?" Brittany took a step forward so they were now only inches apart. "Yes…my heart still belongs to someone else." That's all Santana needed to close the gap between them but she was stopped by the blonde. Santana looked confused at the blonde and took a step back, thinking maybe she crossed a line, but a pale hand around her wrist held her in place.
"Santana I love you and I missed you…but being away from you all these months and Sam the past month, taught me that I needed to take care of myself. " Santana wants to run away again but Brittany still holds her firm grip. "Where are you going?" The blonde asks with a quizzical look on her face.
"I thought you were ending it this time..." Santana tried to avoid eye contact but failed when she felt the piercing blue eyes on her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks again.
"Well maybe I should…but it's not what I want. What I want is a 50/50 partnership. You don't get to decide everything. I'm not going to just follow you around blindly because it would hurt when I ran into things. Can you do that? Can we be equals? Or is it still all about you? About your feelings? Your insecurities? Your future? Or is it about us?
When Brittany said those words, Santana finally realized the truth. They are in this together and in order to make it work, they will have to work on it.
"See, I told you you were the one with the brains" A smile appeared on both of their faces as Santana continued. "You're right Britt, it's not just about me and my feelings We're in this together and running away whenever it gets hard, won't solve it. And I'm so sorry about everything I put you through Britt, I really am. Can you please give me another chance? I love you so much and I just know we can make this work…"
Happy about hearing what she wanted, Brittany grinned at the Latina and took another step forward. "Yes, we can make this work…together."
Santana let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and she chuckled, making the blonde chuckle as well. "C-can I kiss you know Britt?" the Latina asked shyly.
Brittany cups warm, tanned cheeks and pulls their lips together in a soft kiss. After all those months, their lips still fit perfectly together. It was a tender and slow kiss that neither of them wanted to stop. It was going to be hard because of the distance and the obstacles every relationship has, but both of them were convinced that they were going to make it. As long as they had each other, everything would be alright.