B is for Bologna
21-year-old Sakura slammed the fridge shut again. She was standing in her kitchen, opening and closing the door as if her life depended on it.
Sakura was angry.
Not just angry, but infuriated.
Who had taken all of her precious bologna? She was 7 months pregnant, for Kami's sake! Who in the heck had taken her bologna?
Biting down on her lip hard enough to draw blood, Sakura wondered back down the hall towards her bedroom. Her stupid, lazy husband was out for the day, who knows where, and here she was. Pregnant and hungry. Bad combo.
Once she had reached the bedroom, she pulled off her pajamas and put on her over-sized shirt and soft shorts. Strapping on her sandals and pulling her hair up into a messy bun, Sakura made her way out the door and to the Hokage's office.
Might as well get something done…
-o-
"You what?!"
Tsunade felt her blood run cold. Her little (not so much) apprentice could be very scary.
"I said, we gave away our last reserves this morning."
"Of bologna?! Who the heck wants Konoha's last reserves of bologna!!? Why do we even have reserves of bologna?!?"
Sakura tugged on her ears in frustration. If she didn't get any bologna soon, she'd go crazy.
Tsunade frowned at Sakura. "It was for a mission."
Wrong thing to say.
"A mission??! A freakin' MISSION?!? What kind of mission? A bologna mission?! What kind of Hokage are you?!"
"Sakura! Why don't you just go buy some from the store in the square?"
"Why don't you!!"
Sakura glared childishly at her sensei, then turned heel and stalked away from her. Tsunade sighed deeply.
"I don't know how much more of this I can take."
Shizune laughed from her hiding place behind the bookshelf (though she doubted that could stop Sakura).
"What was it last week? I don't remember."
Tsunade glared up at her from her helpless position on her desk.
"It was chocolate pocky."
-o-
Sakura wished she still craved pocky. That week was the most energetic she had ever felt. She had eaten enough chocolate to kill someone.
As she neared the marketplace, Sakura felt a crooked smile spreading on her face and an evil laugh rising in her throat.
This was gonna be fun!
-o-
The sound of people screaming in terror could only mean one thing.
He had forgotten to feed Sakura.
Slamming his tools down, the dark-haired man leaped gracefully down from the scaffolding and proceeded to run into the city, headed for the drugstore to buy all the chocolate pocky they had.
-o-
Sakura threw package after package of ham on the tiled floor of the superstore. Frantically searching for her precious bologna, she was biting her lip and running up and down the aisle.
"Hello!! Customer in need! Anyone plan on helping me?"
The cashiers looked uneasily toward one another.
"You help her!"
"No, you go!"
"Don't you know who that is?"
"She'll kill you!"
Their whispers, thankfully, failed to catch her ears. They might not've been alive if they had. One employee, though, seemed to like to live dangerously.
The young man approached Sakura as she started in on the sausages. "Ma'am? What are you looking for?"
Sakura turned. "What am I looking for? What am I LOOKING for??!"
The teenager cowered.
"I'm looking for some freakin' bologna because I'm hungry!! You've never seen a pregnant woman hungry before?! Find me some! Now!"
He scampered off.
"Ugh, nevermind! You idiots! I should sue this freakin' store for everything you're worth! You're supposed to provide necessities for your customers! I NEED BOLOGNA!!"
And with that, Sakura again turned heel and left the destroyed store in her wake.
-o-
He found her at home, slamming the fridge open and closed. Slapping his forehead, he made his way over to her.
"Sakura?"
She turned at the sound of his voice. Running to him, she clutched his middle and buried her head in his chest. "I'm s-s-so hungry!"
"Good. I brought you something."
Pulling the huge pack of pocky out of his pocket, he laid it on her lap. She stared at it quizzically before breaking out into a fit of giggles.
"What?"
"Y-you… I don't want pocky anymore!"
Sighing in despair, he fell to his knees. "Then what do you want?"
Wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, she frowned. "Bologna. I NEED bologna."
For a fraction of a second, Sakura swore she saw fear cross through his eyes. The she realized he didn't have emotions. "B-bologna?"
She nodded vigorously.
"Um, Saku, I don't think you'll be able to have any of that."
Mood changing dangerously, Sakura glared at him. "Why not?"
"Um, I had this mission this morning…"
-o-
Tsunade pulled him into her office forcefully. "Is Sakura with you?"
Smiling his fake smile, he shook his head. "No."
Tsunade eased. "Ok, good. I have a mission for you. You know old Nuri Tamya? Well, he's off his rocker, but he's stinkin' rich. He came in this morning, asking for our best artist to create him a statue. He offered 5,000,000 yen."
"Oh? That will be easy, Tsunade-baa."
Glaring at his use of the nickname Naruto gave her, she frowned.
"Not… exactly. He wants it to be a giant platypus. Made out of… bologna."
-o-
"So, Tsunade had all our bologna reserves emptied for the mission."
Sakura, who had stayed unnaturally silent, stood up. Clutching her bulging stomach, she made her way to the door.
"Sakura? Where are you going?"
"To find that scorpion!"
"Sakura!"
-o-
"So, Sai-teme, you can't even control your own wife? Aren't you supposed to be some excellent ninja?"
Sai frowned. "You know how Sakura is, dickless."
The two were cleaning up the supermarket that Sakura trashed. Naruto snickered as he leaned on his broom. "Imagine your child."
Sai never forgot to feed Sakura again.
-o-
So, I liked this one better than the last. And… it's longer! Yay!
Read & Review, my sweets!