Cas was high as a kite, he jumped into the jeep riding shotgun.
Dean would drive, he always did.
As Dean climbed in next to him, Cas relaxed it was nostalgic being next to Dean in one of the humans vehicles, with a sigh Cas lent his head back on the seat and closed his eyes.
It was near midnight and he hadn't exactly had a good nights sleep, because well he had a gang bang. So being awake for the journey wasn't an option.
It made him feel a twinge of sadness he couldn't stay awake when it was just him and Dean for once.
They didn't talk much these days, that or he couldn't remember if they did.
Thinking of this made him feel worse.
He was edging into unconsciousness when Dean started up the engine and began their journey to the stupid Croat infested town.
He dreamed about fancy colours swirling in front of his eyes, they felt like the happiness he once felt. It was beautiful.
Then Cas was woken abruptly to the sound of the car door slamming, he let out a low grunt and rubbed at his eyes. The pills were wearing off.
He slipped his hand into his pocket to reach for his little orange tub. His fingers grabbed at the nothingness.
Cas felt the rush of panic. He needed that tub. It held all his hope. He was lost with out it.
He frantically patted down his coat, panting. He looked towards Dean but the drivers seat was empty.
Cas held onto the dash board making his knuckles white whilst hyperventilating silently in the Jeep. What the hell was he going to do. He couldn't go on this mission sober he would just freak out and end up being more of a burden than usual.
After what felt like an eternity Cas had calmed himself enough to get out of the damned Jeep.
He decided he would act as normal as he could. Dean didn't know he had an emergency stash, he always thought Cas was sober for missions. He was dead wrong.
As Cas got out of the Jeep he realised his hands were shaking, he shoved them deep into his pockets to hide them. He couldn't show he was scared. Not now.
It was still dark, though it must have been at least 5 in the morning by now.
Walking round to the front of the Jeep he watched as Dean was hunched over the map flashlight in one hand whilst the other tapped the hood of the jeep.
The rest of the men were checking their weapons and ammo.
Realising he left his rifle in the boot of the car he walked slowly to retrieve it. Thinking it would give him time to calm his nerves.
Taking deep breathes in and out only listening as it whistled out of his mouth quietly and then back in.
Opening the boot he grabbed his gun and an extra pack of ammo, Cas shoved the ammo into his pocket he, slung the gun over his shoulder using the strap to secure it against his body this way it didn't bang against his back as they ran.
Taking a couple more deep breaths and closing his eyes he was leaning on the bed of the car hands splayed taking his weight. He had his eyes scrunched closed trying to feel something more euphoric.
He felt a presence behind him and tensed. Opening his eyes suddenly, but he made no attempt to move.
Dean put one hand on Cas' back and lent over to grab himself some extra ammo before looking at Cas more carefully.
"Dude are you ok?" He sounded so concerned for the fallen angel it made the black hole in his gut throb.
He simply grunted in response.
Dean patted him on the back and sighed heavily, he walked off without another word.
This was the extent of their relationship it wasn't anything special not really.
They had just been through a hell of a lot together.
That's what kept them searching each other. They were both badly broken and they both knew exactly how it felt.
Cas walked back to the rest of the group, it looked like they had decided on how the plan was going to go and who was splitting off with who.
Turned out Dean had put himself with Cas.
Just the two of them.
Cas tilted his head and gave Dean a questioning look, all he got in response was a shrug.
They had been scavenging the town for and hour, they'd seen nothing. It was eerily quiet.
It freaked both Dean and Cas out. More than usual.
Then everything came at once.
A massive group of Croats came out of seemingly no where, running towards where Dean and Cas stood as they were walking from one door to the next.
Barely having time to react Dean shot the leader of the pack in the head.
His aim was perfect.
Cas fumbled his gun slightly. He'd been taken by surprise.
"Cover me" Dean shouted at him.
Cas loaded up thinking angrily. What else am I going to do. Idiot.
Realizing the mass of bodies he would have to shoot through to have Deans back made his heart plunge.
Cas felt the desperation on his face. He shot aiming shabbily at anything that moved. He could hear Dean picking at a lock.
"Bingo, Cas get your ass over here NOW"
Cas didn't need telling twice.
He turned and started running towards Deans figure.
He didn't reach him though.
Something hard and warm that smelled of rot slammed against him, and then he didn't know which way was up. He hit a hard surface which was cold, it disorientated him, it had just been warm.
He felt a searing pain up his left hand side and bit back a scream. Scrunching his eyes closed.
If he was loud they would be an easy target. Cas couldn't get Dean in that kind of shit.
He blacked out.
Cas woke up only feeling pain, everything ached and he had dust up his nose. Sneezing violently. He let out a load groan.
Then he remembered.
Shit.
He closed his eyes tightly so he couldn't see what happened if he was going to get killed. Listening to every movement.
All he could hear was very deep breathing from close by.
Opening his eyes slowly he took in his surroundings properly. He was in what seemed to be a flat. It smelled musty and dust settled everywhere.
He looked towards the breathing and saw Dean lying on the floor. Sleeping.
Dead to the world.
Cas felt awkward watching Dean sleep, it had been what felt like an eternity since he had and that was when he didn't have such awful human emotions. Instead he busied his eyes by looking himself over.
He was lying on a smelly couch which was placed under a windowsill. It was dark outside again and he registered that strangely the window was left intact.
Cas tried to sit up and felt the searing pain again, he looked down again and this time took note that his shirt was unbuttoned and his abdomen was wrapped in bandages.
They were soaked in blood.
He tried to think back to what had happened early that day.
He remembered they had been stuck in a hoard of Croats and then he was running.
Then darkness.
He tried sitting up again wincing against the pain. He looked at something to throw at Dean.
The most suitable thing was a cushion from the sofa, as he picked it up he winced. The smallest of movements sent his wound into burning pain.
I need some freakin' pain relief. Damn it.
Cas threw the cushion pathetically at Dean. It didn't even touch him. Just landed with a whumph next to his face.
It was enough though.
Deans eyes sprung open at the sound, and he tensed automatically. Though now he was staring at the red cushion Cas had thrown.
Cas chuckled softly the winced. Though the pain was worth it, it had been a while since he'd seen that kind of expression of Deans face.
It had also been a while since he'd laughed genuinely.
Dean lifted his head slowly, noticing Cas sat on the sofa and relaxed instantly. Then sat up properly crossing his legs facing the fallen.
Then Dean shocked Cas by grinning, like full out no fakyness grinning. All he could do was smile tentatively back.
Dean scraped his eyes down Cas' body then grimaced at the blood soaked bandages.
It looked. Well. Nasty.
There was a few moments of silence before Cas needed to break it.
"Isn't every one going to be worried about you?" he only spoke up because his skin was crawling with discomfort, even though he had been alone with Dean a thousand times before. It felt different.
The Cas realised.
Dean had saved him. Which, Cas realized was against camp rules.
'If someone gets grabbed you leave them so the infection didn't spread through camp.' It had been imprinted into his brain. It was like survival 101.
So why did our fearless leader save him? He was just the drug/alcohol addict who couldn't do squat.
Dean had gone against his own rules. What the hell?
Cas was interrupted of his internal ramblings by Deans reply.
"It's cool, it's not like camp is going to collapse because we aren't there for a day" Dean paused for a second going over what Cas had asked then realised what had been wrong with the question. He sighed. "Cas people would worry about you too, you know."
Hahaha
Cas just grunted.
"Ok, so maybe not a lot of people, but if you had been gone and I wasn't with you I'd be worried. Hell. I'd be searching for you."
At this Cas just stared at Dean eyes as open as they could, shining blue.
"Dean. Why did you save me? You broke your own rule." He looked away quickly not wanting to see Deans reaction.
There was a sharp intake of breath, it made Cas glance up at Deans face. Though he quickly looked away again head bowed.
"I saved you Cas because I don't want to be alone. I know it's selfish. I know our relationship is shit. But if you left me, I don't think I would exist properly anymore."
You could physically feel the tension between the two men as they sat once again in silence.
Cas nodded slowly taking in the information, his hunter did care about him. He made the hole in his gut seal itself the tiniest amount.
Raising his head he looked into Deans eyes. Green met blue. Like the vast ocean.
There was a strange electrical current that passed through the moment. It felt like the air was statically charged.