Beginnings: Liara

"I meant to visit, but…."

Shepard smiles. "You know, if you tell me that trying to find a way to save the galaxy was more important, I'll agree with you right now. But when I get back to the Normandy, I'll take a long shower and cry, like teenagers do in the vids."

The human always jokes. Liara likes that, now that she has an ear for the commander's sense of humor. When she first met Shepard, she didn't understand the woman at all.

It is just like old times, fighting Cerberus troops with Shepard and Kaidan. Except that Liara is determined now, not afraid. Except that the stakes are higher than ever. Except that Kaidan and the commander fight because he does not trust her.

When Kaidan goes to look for a Cerberus comm link, Liara gives Shepard a knowing smirk.

"What?"

"Major Alenko has become very capable."

Shepard blinks. "He was always capable."

"True." If Shepard does not want to share, Liara will not pry. She can find out how the commander feels about the major once she gets back in touch with her information network, anyway.

Kaidan calls out to the commander. Shepard leaves, and soon Liara can hear more arguing.

She wonders if Kaidan is so bad-tempered because he knows about Thane Krios.

…

When Kaidan is injured, Shepard stops functioning. She stares at the battered man with unfocused eyes.

"Kaidan needs medical attention!" Liara snaps her fingers in front of Shepard's face. "We have to leave the Sol system."

It takes a moment for the human to understand her words. After too many seconds tick by, Shepard finally nods.

"We need to get to the Citadel," Liara prompts.

"Joker!" Shepard sounds panicked. "Get us to the Citadel!" She holds Kaidan's hand. "Hold on, Kaidan," she whispers.

Liara wonders if Thane knows about Kaidan Alenko.

…

Why does she always expect meetings with the Council to go well? They never do. It is unbelievable that having a human on the Council has not changed anything. When Liara says as much to Shepard, Shepard laughs and laughs.

"If Earth were safe, and someone else was being attacked, do you really think the Alliance would care as much as it does now?" She wipes tears off of her cheeks. Humans cry when they are happy. Another quirk of the species.

"You would care," Liara insists. "They should care!" She scowls up at the Citadel Tower. They would never have dismissed Liara like that if her mother were still alive. Liara should be more like Benezia. "I can make them care," she mutters, thinking of the information she has on the weaselly salarian Councilor Valern in particular.

"You think too highly of me," Shepard says. "It's because I speak Prothean, isn't it?" She has a wry smile. "Please don't blackmail the Council. We'll figure this out." The smile fades away until all that's left is determination. "We have to."

"You should visit Kaidan," Liara reminds Shepard. A confusion on the commander's face again. The first time Liara noticed it on Mars, she had been asking how Shepard always stayed focused.

I think about everything I have to lose, Shepard had replied. The words had sounded certain, but the commander had glanced at her own shoulder when she said them, brushing away red dust the storm outside had deposited there. She had not seen Kaidan glance hopefully in her direction. Maybe she had known he would look, but had not wanted to see.

"I—Yeah," Shepard agrees. "Want to come?"

Liara certainly does not want to come. She does not like hospitals. But Shepard asks for so little; she can do this for her friend.

…

When Shepard opens the door to her cabin, Liara notices that the commander actually looks more exhausted than she did before Liara shooed her off to bed. She scowls, thinking that the irrepressible woman has probably been writing reports or doing research.

The commander comes out into the small hallway instead of inviting Liara in. The light is dim, but still, she can see the dark smudges under Shepard's eyes. Shepard's hair is loose, out of its usual bun, and her clothes are wrinkled. Liara begins to worry that she woke the commander.

"Hey," the greeting is simple and straightforward, like Shepard herself. "What's up, Liara?" No smiles, no jokes. Worse, the commander's hands keep twitching. She should be sleeping.

"I've been forwarding the turian Councilor information on the Prothean device." This could have waited. "It can't be built without Council support, but he's not budging until their primarch is safe."

Shepard is blank. Something is definitely wrong.

"Are you all right?" Liara has to ask the question twice before Shepard even focuses her gaze. She steps away from Liara, insulted.

"I didn't get what you'd call a good night's rest." Her hands cannot stay still. Bad dreams, Liara realizes. Or bad waking dreams.

"There is more to it than that. What is really bothering you?" She has to know. She cannot help Shepard if she does not know what is wrong.

A smile from the commander. Light, noncommittal words. Liara frowns. Shepard should not try to avoid speaking honestly. Liara prepares for an argument. She insists that Shepard be honest.

To her surprise, Shepard offers no more resistance. "When the Reapers hit… I could hear people screaming in the streets below me." The soldier is embarrassed at what she views as failure, and she stares at fingers that twist more manically than ever. "I left them all behind."

Liara waits for Shepard to meet her eyes. Shepard's eyes are always so clear and sure. Liara needs to wipe the doubt out of them. "You could not have stayed. Right now you need to be here, getting support for Earth." She can't bear those wild, nervous gestures anymore, and puts a hand on the commander's arm. "You will get back there in time to help," she promises.

The doubt blows away, like fog retreating from a lake. Liara feels a surge of pride, and steps back so Shepard can stand on her own again.