Don't Know Why

A/N: So…there's a seemingly random Brooke/Julian scene, but it's kind of necessary. They'll be interacting with the others soon enough. Anyways…I hope you all like this chapter! - Jasmine

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Peyton walked into her daughter's room and headed toward the crib.

"Ok…yesterday was a…really bad day." She said as she stared into Leighton's piercing blue eyes. "Hopefully today will be better."

Peyton took in a deep breath and very slowly and as gently as she could, picked up Leighton. The baby didn't fuss or cry, much to Peyton's delight, and she sighed in relief.

With Leighton in her arms, Peyton slowly walked out of the nursery and into the kitchen. She grabbed the bottle that she had made for her and then headed back towards the room.

She sat down in the rocker and carefully proceeded to feed the baby the bottle, which Leighton gladly accepted.

"I don't…I don't know why I'm not able to do this more often." Peyton said out loud. "Maybe it's because I have no desire to..."

Peyton let her voice trail off. She took a moment to gather her thoughts and then focused her attention onto Leighton.

"Why…why do I feel as though you're not mine? Like instead I'm just your babysitter and I'm waiting for your mom to come and get you. But she never does. She never does because I'm her…even though the idea of me being her just feels so…wrong."

Peyton shook her head and sighed. She let her mind wander and suddenly an image of her falling asleep in the rocking chair and dropping Leighton onto the ground flashed before her eyes. A startled Peyton instantly hopped out of the rocker. She placed the bottle down on the nearby nightstand, lied Leighton down in her crib and quickly exited the nursery as fast as she could.

Peyton headed for her kitchen. She grabbed a rag and some Clorox clean up from underneath the sink and began obsessively cleaning.

"I am not cut out for this." Peyton said to herself quietly as she viciously wiped down the counter. "I never should have had that baby."

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the ring of the house phone. She glanced over at the caller id and, noticing that it was Lucas, chose to ignore it and kept on cleaning. As soon as the house phone stopped ringing, Peyton heard her cell going off.

She angrily threw the rag down, picked up her cell from off the kitchen table and answered it. "What do you want Lucas?!"

"Why...why are you yelling at me?" asked her slightly taken aback husband.

"I wasn't yelling at you." Peyton said calmly, but agitatedly. "THIS IS ME YELLING AT YOU!!"

"Ok…NOW why are you yelling at me? What did I do?"

An extremely frustrated Peyton sighed. "You called me while I'm trying to clean!"

"Well I didn't mean to be a bother." Lucas told his wife. "I was just calling to check in. I wanted to make sure everything was---"

"Everything's just peachy Lucas." Peyton said interrupting. "I'm fine…Leighton's fine…we're both fine and we'll see you when you get home. Goodbye."

Peyton ended the call before Lucas could respond and resumed her cleaning.

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A dumbfounded Lucas looked down at the cell in his hands. He scratched his head and placed it down in front of him.

"Take it that phone call didn't go too well, huh?" Lucas's co-worker Rebecca asked as she placed a folder on his desk.

Lucas shook his head. "No…my wife…she…she was just biting my head off and I'm not really all that sure why. I mean…she answered the phone screaming at me."

"Oh, I wouldn't take it personally Lucas." Rebecca said dismissively. "She's a new mom…they get easily annoyed. I know I did."

Lucas sighed. "I get that it can be frustrating. Especially with a baby that cries as much as Leighton does sometimes. It's just…"

"Try not to worry about it." Rebecca reassured. "From what you've told me about Peyton…she seems like a really sweet girl with a good head on her shoulders. Her yelling is nothing more than a little new mom frustration."

Rebecca gave Lucas an encouraging smile and headed off into her office. Lucas sat very still in his chair, staring off into space and letting his mind drift to the previous night…of him walking into the house, hearing Leighton wailing with all her might and in hindsight, taking note of Peyton's seemingly lackadaisical attitude about it.

"I hope that's all it is." Lucas said to himself quietly. "I really hope so."

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Brooke's eyes scanned around the busy airport before they finally rested on the brown-haired, goofy grinned guy she called her boyfriend walking in her direction.

Brooke smiled as she ran up to Julian. He set down his bags and engulfed his girl in a gigantic hug.

"Konnichiwa my love." Julian whispered into her ear. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too. You being away in Japan for four weeks was torture!"

Julian smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "I know, I'm sorry. But if it's any consolation…I bought you something from Nagasaki that I know you'll love."

"What is it?!" Brooke asked excitedly.

Julian shook his head. "My lips are sealed. You'll find out soon enough."

"Well can I at least have a hint?"

"Nope."

"Fine." Brooke said huffing. "But I must say that I had this elaborate welcome home night planned for us. Some dancing…a nice dinner…a little…."

Brooke stopped talking aloud and whispered the rest into Julian's ears.

His eyes lit up at her words. "That last part sounds amazing."

"It does, doesn't it?" Brooke said smirking. "But the last part won't be happening if you don't show me my gift right now."

Julian quickly began ransacking through his bags, causing Brooke to chuckle. A few minutes later he pulled out a beautiful pink and silver kimono.

"Oh Julian!"

Brooke took the kimono from his hands. "This is beautiful!"

"I bought you a pair of shoes to go with it. And a pair of matching earrings too."

Brooke gave him a quick peck on the lips. "I love it."

"So is the last part of our little night that you planned still on?" a hopeful Julian asked.

Brooke pondered for a moment before answering. "Definitely!"

"Do you think I could have a preview this morning?"

"Well…" Brooke began, taking a minute to think it over. "Sure…why not!"

Julian jumped up and down in excitement. "Ok then what are we doing standing here?! Let's go home!"

Julian picked up his bags and began racing toward the exit. Brooke shook her head and laughed as she followed him.

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Peyton sighed as she ran a hand through her messy blonde locks and sat down at the table and looked around her now immaculate kitchen.

She sat for a long while, just staring off into space, when she heard cries coming from the nursery. Peyton didn't flinch. The cries grew slightly louder, yet she still remained in her chair, zoning. A few minutes later the crying stopped. Peyton then heard a knock on the kitchen door.

"It's open!" Peyton yelled out.

"Hey." Haley said as she slowly opened up the door and entered.

Peyton acknowledged Haley's presence with a small smile.

"I have never seen a kitchen so clean." Haley said as she sat down and looked around in awe.

"So…what brings you by Haley?" Peyton asked, disregarding her friend's comment.

"Well I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd stop---"

Haley's words were interrupted by Leighton's cries. She quickly glanced toward the direction of the nursery before focusing her attention back to Peyton.

"Can I please check on her?" Haley asked hopefully.

Peyton feigned a smile. "Go for it."

A smiling Haley got up from her seat at the table and headed toward the nursery.

"I guess it's a good thing that somebody wants to." Peyton said quietly to herself as she began to stare aimlessly out of the kitchen window.

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Ok so there it is. I hope you all liked it! Ok…it looks like Peyton's all over the place. Every now and then she seems ok with the baby, but most of the time…not so much. It's like she just can't stand being around her; she'll let her cry and she'll start talking about how having Leighton was a huge mistake. And don't forget she imagined herself dropping the baby while in the rocker. Thank God Haley stopped by because it looks like Peyton probably would have just let Leighton cry for who knows how long. And Lucas…he seems to be a bit worried about Peyton, but most likely isn't aware of how much she is truly struggling. Someone will notice that something's really off with her soon and it might not be the someone(s) you're expecting. Please, please review with your thoughts/comments, as I enjoy reading them!