Jacob stepped out of the E.D to be assaulted by a bitter chill in the air, blowing into his hands for warmth he wondered when the weather had turned or maybe it was a sign of the reception he was about to receive.

The nurse wandered quietly over to the woman that occupied his thoughts with a growing frequency of late.

"You know..." Jacob stood beside her. "...its hardly the weather to be loitering around outside...at least when I do it its in a warm corridor."

Connie looked up to him with a raised eyebrow, his attempt at humour falling flat.

"I do not loiter Charge Nurse Masters."

"If you say so..." Jacob nodded thoughtfully pretending to processing and considering what she had said. "...so if its not loitering..." He fake frowned. "...what is it your doing?"

"Just getting some fresh air..." She didn't know why she was entertaining him or why she hadn't sent him on his way yet. "...I have another few hours worth of paperwork yet...its beyond dull." She gave him a guilty smirk.

"So...hanging around with no real reason...in my books...that's loitering." Jacob pressed her looking for a reaction and getting his own back for her comment earlier.

"What do you want Jacob?" She sighed taking the bait.

"I came to see if you were alright." He smiled kindly.

"I'm fine Jacob...just taking a break." Connie moved away towards the coffee cart at the edge of the car park and ordered a drink.

She dug into her pocket for some change when a hand holding a battered and well used five pound note appeared over her shoulder.

"Make that two of those please." Came Jacobs voice from behind her.

Connie took her drink with a small smile, cradling it between her hands and enjoying its warmth as she sat down on a nearby bench.

She watched as Jacob collect his matching cup and change.

"So how are you really?" He asked as he joined her on the bench.

"Grace and I have made up...she's forgiven me yet again." Connie looked to her left and gave Jacob a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"That's great...you two are more alike than you'd think...your bound to bump heads every now and then..." Jacob studied her. "...your her mum Connie...she loves you...of cause she'll always forgive you...so why don't you look happy?"

"I am happy..." Murmured Connie. "...but she shouldn't have to keep forgiving me."

"What else is going on Connie?" Jacob pressed, knowing her the way he did he could see the signs. "Con?"

"She won't come back to live with me..." Connie confessed. "...I asked her to move back home...but she wants to stay with Sam..." She took a deep steadying breath. "...I can't blame her...I'm no good for her...for anyone...I loose track of what's important and I'm too focused on this place..." She looked over her shoulder to the building that dominated her time. "...what's wrong with me...why can't I see how wrong I'm being until its too late?" She was looking to Jacob for answers but doubted anyone had them.

"She'll come round and one day she will understand that more people needed you than just her..." Jacob paused to collect his thoughts. "...Connie... There's nothing wrong with you... Never apologise for being good at your job...you need to learn to stop putting so much pressure on yourself..." Jacob put his arm around her shoulder offering some comfort. "...I wish you could see how wonderful you are."

"But now that's all I have left...my work..." She sighed. "...now its seems that has let me down." Connie let her head rest on his shoulder.

"What do you mean..." Jacob frowned. "...Connie you have me...I'm here for you...even though you don't believe it...you have Grace." He assured her as he held her close.

Connie let his words wash over her.

"Why you have time for me after everything that happened I'll never know...the way I treated Elle... The way I treated you...I'm sorry."

Jacobs heart twisted in his chest. "Don't apologise Con..." Jacob's guilt returned full force. "...you have nothing to apologise for when it comes to me." He insisted, not wanting her to feel bad about what happened between the two of them.

"But I do...I pushed you away...spoke to you appallingly...all you tried to do was be there for me...too be a friend to Elle and I treated you like you was the enemy... I truly am sorry..." Connie sat up taking a deep breath. "...thanks for the drink...I better get back to that paperwork." She stood and quickly move away having bared to much to still feel comfortable.

"Con..." He hesitated as she turned back expectantly waiting for him to finish his sentence. "...I... Erm...I'm sorry too." He offered, not having the words or bravery to say what was really on his mind.

Connie nodded in his direction before continuing on her way.

Jacob sat deflated, starring down at his long forgotten and unwanted coffee wondering why he had made such a fatal error in judgement all those months ago.

His reasoning back then seemed lame but now it sounded so much worse. The pain had dulled, the way Connie had pushed him away seemed less devastating, less insurmountable.

"I was lonely!"

Looking back, he was weak. A disgrace. A cheat.

The guilt ate at him but he still moved in with her and he still chose to call time on their relationship at the next hurdle to ease his that guilt, to save himself the cruel job of telling her the truth. He told himself it was to save her from having to hear it but he knew the truth.

Now here he was with that same guilt eating away at him once again. She trusted him, she was warming to him and him to her once again but this would always be a wedge between them that only he knew about.

*To Be Continued*