Chapter Two: Tape One, Side B

The click signified that that side of the tape was over and it was time to flip. I took it out, flipped it and put it back in the recorder.

PLAY

"Hello, again. Glad to see you're still following the rules. That brings me to our topic: breaking rules. As I said before, I was always polite, but I had a different side – a side many of you didn't know about. I was usually the regular girl in school, a loser perhaps? Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, guess what. Aria Lock was never a loser. I wanted to be big someday. I had dreams. I swore one day I'd be known everywhere; famous. What I've noticed is I would follow what I called, 'Movie Rules'. There were certain things that happened in movies that I thought were supposed to happen. Like friends; you had a best friend from day one and you were extremely close. Know what I mean? Well, I tried so hard to have a best friend and never did. Another thing, all boys were nice and you always fell for the popular guy who eventually fell for you too. That never happened either. Most graceful first kiss? No. Any first kiss? Nope. And if girls were mean to you, it was because they were jealous. But truthfully, they weren't. So as I said, I was a bit of an outcast during my time in school. I wanted to be popular. I became friends with the popular people and I thought they accepted me. They didn't and you know why? I broke the rules. They were like complete copies of each other; good grades (all the same), plain-Jane art projects, and hair in ponytails with a thin headband every single day. You know who I'm talking about, some of you are even on here; the Fab Five. Like, what the hell? That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of. And when I came along they acted like they changed it to the Super Sexy Six. And again I say to you, what the hell? I found Dallas's notebook one day – mind you, it was a Fab Five notebook. It contained quotes about friends, their names, pictures of them together, and things about their boyfriends. Nothing including me. I wasn't ever invited to the mall or to hang out. I invited them, but they never invited me. That party I mentioned earlier, I invited them and only them. And let me tell you – big mistake."

PAUSE

I told Aria inviting them was a bad idea. A very bad idea. They were like robots. They did everything together and the same. It was weird. I heard yapping coming from somewhere. It was Aria's dog barking at me through the curtained window.

"Shhhh, Lily. It's okay." It wasn't okay, though. Even Lily might not see her owner again and it wasn't like a person where you could tell them what happened. Lily would just assume she was never coming back.

PLAY

"So this one's for you Fab Five girls! All but two of you.

Mari, you ruined my friendship with Maria and caused me as much humiliation as she did. Was that your brilliant plan? Were you planning on making me cry? You even texted me the day before that asking how I felt (I was sick, remember?) and if everything was okay. I told you my uncle passed away and you played along and said you were so sorry. You weren't though, Mari, you really weren't. You and your sister kept secrets from me, but I found out. I figured out every little detail. I always did what I could for you. If you needed help with an art project – this occurred with all of you – I was the one to go to. Yes, I was good at drawing. That was a given talent, but your work wasn't yours; it was mine. Mari, honestly, you were my favorite out of the two of you. You're a twin, everyone knows that and I liked you much better than Merci. Mari and Merci Burns. Both of you had the same initials, the same blood, the same parents, the same older sister, the same home, the same room, and yet, you always fought. You hated each other. Why? I always wanted a sister, but never had one. Just Kenny, that kid who you all called 'so cute', but behind my back he was a loser like me, a 'dork', annoying, right? Here's another fun fact about me – you screw with my little brother and I'll kick your ass. He's mine to mess with and as much as I agree with some of the things you say about him sometimes, you can't say it unless you want to piss me off. I can, but you can't. He's my brother; not yours. You did that a lot, Mari and I wouldn't expect it of you. You also put those words in my mouth. People should have known it wasn't something I'd say. It was breaking the rules of the Super Sexy Six; be friends with everyone. Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! You should be your own person, but I guess you never knew that, none of you did.

Merci Burns; you're next. Of course you're on here. The evil looks every time I turned around were enough. Why? What were those looks for? It sounds stupid that I'm complaining about glares, but seriously. Were they just to make my day worse? Of was it for your own entertainment? At the twins' party (not yours, I wasn't invited to that, remember?) we played truth or dare. Mari was dared to kiss Jace, but she wouldn't do it. Then I was dared to kiss Shawn. I wouldn't do it either. You turned to me and said with a smirk in your voice, "Stop being a baby. Why won't you do it? You're no fun." And along with that came a wicked stare that wouldn't brake until I said something which was, "Why don't you tell your sister to toughen up and do her dare?" You looked at me so shocked it was almost funny. And you know what you said? "What?" You couldn't believe I told you off. Well, Merci, damn right I did. So everyone, apparently, looks can kill.

Last but not least, we have Violet Hanna. Vi, I know everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. I'll tell you what I know too, so everyone can find out. I know that just before Dorney Day for school you said to the twins, "Aria's going to Dorney, if you see her, run!" Well, guess what you didn't run that day. You know why? I was the ditcher for once. I went with other people, people I could trust. You're a spoiled little brat too. You get everything you want. And if someone gets you a gift, you're never satisfied. Not with anything. I'd expect better from you. I thought I did a good thing almost three years ago in fifth grade. Your birthday was the day before and you complained about not having a cake and no one singing to you. The next day in school, I brought in a Tasty Cake and I sang to you. You looked happy. You felt important. You're not. I was nice and what do I get in return? A lashing behind my back. Those notes I posted on my AIM Buddy Info are about you. It should say currently, "Remember that karma comes around and believe me, you won't like it...guilt is an ugly thing...its like a weight; putting pressure on you with every second that goes by...you think I'm still clueless, but now I know everything." Interesting, isn't it? I wrote it myself. That's what I could see myself as now: a writer. But I can never be one because I'm gone. Obviously. I wrote this too:

In Case I Die, Here's my Goodbye

To everyone I've ever known,

Thank you for the love you've shown

Thank you for encouragement when times were tough,

And for keeping me going when I thought I'd had enough

And to my friends whom I will protect,

Thank you all for knowing that I'm not perfect

There will be not a day I allow to go by,

When I don't think of our friendship and tear up and cry

I'll always be with you, though you won't know I'm there,

And remind you of all the good times when you say you don't care

Hello to the boy I never really noticed in school,

My friends said to stay away because you weren't cool

I paid no mind and took a chance,

That's why I said "yes" when you asked me to dance

And goodbye to my teachers who have enlightened me with so much,

I hope it means a lot when I say I was touched

Now I have saved the most painful for last,

The ones who know every piece of my past

My family, I love you, body and soul,

To you I wish I never had to let go

I'm lying in bed now, thinking ahead,

Remember, this is just in case, I'm far from dead

I disagree with my last line now, though. I'm not far from it, I'm there. Maybe I'm in heaven, maybe in hell. Honestly, I wouldn't care. Earth was my own personal hell for a year and I couldn't take it anymore. That's what brings us to where we are now. And where I am – gone."