A/N Some lemony goodness in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

Chapter 2

BPOV

I can feel the soft ground underneath my body as he laid down beside me on the blanket he brought. It was late in the day almost twilight. Edward had brought me here to watch the sunset. He made a picnic of small sandwiches and juice boxes…so Edward, so sweet. I have a surprise for him also. I am ready I want to be with him give him all of me. I have been on birth control for a month and I have condoms in my jacket. He has no Idea. My heart is in my throat, racing. How do I tell him? Maybe I'll show him. This is his special place, his meadow. It was perfect.

"Bella, we should get going, the sun is gone now. We need to get back to the car before the light is totally gone."

"Ok," disappointed.

"We can go back to my house, my parents are in Seattle for the night." I found out about their trip to Seattle a week ago. My frown was replaced by a big smile. I had planned to stay the night with him. Charlie thinks I'm with Alice.

We walked back to his Volvo and went straight to his house. We walked up to the front door to find my duffle bag sitting there.

"Bella, why is your bag here?" He looked at me confused.

"I had Alice drop it off."

I gave him the sexiest look I could gather as the butterflies attacked my whole body.

"Why?"

"You'll see."

I grabbed him and my bag and lead him up the stairs and to his room. I dropped my bag and his hand, then sat on his bed, facing him.

He looked at me curiously as leaned against the back of his closed door.

Our eyes meet.

"I'm ready, Edward."

"Ready for what, Bella?"

"For you, for us to make love."

His eyes filled with lust and anticipation.

"Are you sure?"

I took my shirt off and my bra off in one swift move.

"Yes."

He followed my lead and pulled his shirt off. He carefully walked over to me and cupped my naked breast. I unbuttoned his pants. I fucking loved his button flies; I dropped them to the floor as he scooped me up bridal style and placed me in the center of his bed. He attacked my mouth and unbuttoned my jeans. He pulled them off me leaving us only in our underwear.

"Your so beautiful, Bella"

As he placed luscious kisses on my stomach, then over my panties, teasing me by inhaling and kissing my soft mound.

Making me squirm and ache with need.

I started to touch his naked flash, as one of my hands followed his path of hair to his erect member. I grabbed his covered erection and started to stroke him. His sounds were music to my ears and I wanted to spend my life making him moan like that. Our tongues danced in a perfect balance of lust and love. His hands were igniting my body as he explored my naked flesh, then finally feeling one of his hands rubbing my aching pussy. Desperate for friction I pulled him completely on top of me. His weight felt like heaven and I spread my legs letting our instincts take over, our bodies found their missing pieces and I felt like I was going to explode. Our breathing was heavy with anticipation.

"Are you ready?" He said in a delicate whisper.

"Yes"

He freed us of our underwear, then grabbed a condom from his drawer. I knew they were there, we both put them there. He sat on the edge of the bed rolling the condom on. I was not getting pregnant so we doubled up. He slid between my legs. After a few miss directed movements he found what he was looking for. He slid in gently filling me and breaking my barrier. The pain was indescribable. Good and bad all at the same time.

He was still, looking at me for my reaction.

"Edward, please move I will adjust."

I could see he was trying to keep his composure.

Slowly he moved in and out of me, the pain went away as I met his thrusts making love to him too. His face was buried in my shoulder, as he kissed my neck and earlobe. I couldn't get close enough to him. I reached down and grabbed his ass pushing him into me deeper, making his head shoot up. With his eyes locked on mine and he moaned, almost growled it was feral. He pushed into me harder answering my silent request. Our breathing was frantic and I could feel his body shiver. It set me on fire. A small wave of pleasure rolled through my body……..

I woke up in a mess of tears and sobs. Our first time I had dreamt of our first time. I could still feel the ache in my lady bits. I sat up, my hands covering my face as I sobbed, my knees to my chest. I lifted my head up and looked out the window. Why today of all days did I have to dream of that and every detail as if it was really happening. Damn, I can still feel his ghostly hands on my body. Edward may not be a perfect boyfriend but he was a perfect lover. Generous and passionate.

Today was Mike's party and I know he will be there his Facebook page said so. His relationship status was single. As was mine. I'm sure Fork's vulture squad would be lurking now that Edward was free. I had been the only one to have a relationship with him much to their ire. I took Edward's virginity too. That had to count for something. I deleted his last texts to me and his voice mails but I didn't remove him as a friend on Facebook. It was like our relationship was frozen in time, in one moment, stopped, frozen over; like it never existed. I never posted anything on his wall. I thought about updating my status saying I would be at the party but I didn't want him to know for sure.

After the tears dried up, I faced the day with new resolve. Today was my day. I knew we were done and I had finally accepted that. My heart wouldn't hear it… I had to try. I had to show him that I had survived his stupid fucked up note he gave me. Show him what he couldn't have anymore. Even if he could care less about me tonight, I had to do this for me. To prove to myself that I would be alright without him. That I could be in his presence and not run off and lick my wounds like an animal. I had another year with him in school. I had to get through the day to day somehow.

My body was killer from the heartbreak diet and the running I did to combat the ever ending ache of loss. My hair was cut, layered but still past my shoulders, It was colored with a hints of red strategically placed in my mahogany locks. My body had changed a little adding a few more curves and surprisingly a cup size, late bloomer I guess. I looked more like a woman instead of a 12 year old girl. Now if only I could be a little taller like 5'6". I guess I am going to be 5'4" for the rest of my life. My brown eyes and heart shaped face were still ever present, with a little puffiness from crying.

I had to face the fact that there would probably be girls hanging all over him whispering promises of sexual gratification in his ears. He is Fork's most eligible guy now. All I know is that the sex and love we shared was mind blowing and earthmoving. At least for me. It would be hard for me to believe he would take a vow of chastity after that. I know how difficult it is for me. And guys are what, a million times worse about that then girls, right. Although, he was always kind to me as he made it known what he wanted, without unnecessary pressure. It was my decision, he always left it to me.

Fuck! Back to square one again, come on Swan suck it up. It's over.

"Dammit, Bella why are your eyes puffy you haven't cried in two weeks."

Alice was standing in my doorway hold a massive tote.

"Hi Alice, couldn't be helped my dreams betrayed me. I woke up this way."

She set the tote down.

"Go get in the shower we only have four hours to make you fuckhot, and make his tongue mop the floor."

"Whatever, Alice." Giving her my best 'Clueless'.

Four hours later, I was stunning, if I do say so myself. I looked at the girl in the mirror and didn't recognize her. Me, Bella Swan, survivor, brokenhearted, proud and now a woman. Maybe he was never worthy of me, cause he was to weak to be the man I deserved. I know I can't make my heart believe that but, I needed every ounce of courage I could muster. I have to do this, he has to see. I am and will be the best he will ever have. I am his 'one' too. Someday he will regret me, but I will not regret him. He showed me I was capable; I could love without limits, and I could let him go.

The past two weeks had been in preparation for this night. Shopping, hair, makeup, and a new wardrobe. Of course, I have the perfect dress, black strapless, mini, Grecian Goddess like, it moved with my body I loved it. Shoes, strapy sliver, heeled the perfect height. My panties are midnight blue, as a silent Fuck You Edward. No bra, the dress held me perfectly. I felt good, empowered, like I could breathe again. Alice is truly gifted. She has always wanted to play Bella Barbie with me, but I would never let her, till now. It was me, not dramatic, just polished. He tried not make me feel worthless, but all he did was make me stronger. One day I will forgive him, and today is not that day.

Tonight I will show him.

A/N Tell me what ya think