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Chapter 2; Insanity Ensues
Shaun was not a zealot for pain. In fact, the only kind of pain he did enjoy was—Well it definitely wasn't being tackled to the floor by a pint-sized-assassin in a towel and threatened with bodily harm and a nonconsensual sex change.
Lucy, needless to say, was not amused by his comment, nor her predicament.
And Shaun quickly discovered this was, in fact, NOT a dream.
So, that's how Shaun found himself, on Tuesday morning, sitting in a kitchen chair with an icepack on the back of his head a hand on his mouth, staring wide eyed at a barely two-foot-tall Lucy wearing a hand towel.
Desmond held the 'squirt gun' in his hands, turning it this way and that gingerly, as if it were delicate and he worried Lucy had broken it when she'd… Done whatever she'd done to wind up shrunk.
"I tried to open it to empty out what I thought was water and the next thing I know there's a flash of red light and I'm two feet tall!" She glared up at them all.
And Rebecca, who had woken up suddenly and without word or comment, merely smiled at Lucy with a dreamy look on her face. "You're so tiny! I just want to put you in a fluffy dress and take you shopping!"
Lucy covered her eyes with her hand and tapped her foot impatiently. "Desmond, just tell me what that is, how the HELL this happened, and how I undo it!"
Desmond swallowed and at first acted as if he couldn't hear her. Then he cleared his throat and spoke in a slow, calm voice. "It's –uh—It's a shrinking gun… I-I made one when I was a kid, but I only succeeded in shrinking one of my dad's guard dogs and two trucks… I was black and blue for a month."
Shaun was blinking. "You made one when you were a kid?"
Desmond nodded. "It's pretty simple really—"
"Simple? Desmond, good lord, Einstein couldn't even—THIS shouldn't exist! It's something that should be in cartoons, or-or-or COMIC BOOKS!"
Desmond looked up and quirked his mouth to the side disbelievingly. "Its just chemicals and light."
Shaun threw up his hands, his icepack splatting to the floor. "'Chemicals and light' he says… Dear God, we could be talking about a fog machine for how he's acting!"
Rebecca made pinching motions at Lucy's cheeks and Lucy slapped her hands away and kicked Desmond in the shin to get his attention. "How did you do it? And how do you UNDO it!"
Desmond gave himself a shake and turned the 'squirt gun' over in his hands, there was a little black switch, like something off a Happy Meal Toy, or an 'on off' switch hidden on the battery pack of a child's talking doll, Desmond scraped his thumb nail across it and pointed it at Lucy. "Uh… I'd close your eyes if I were you, guys."
"Why?"
"Cause you're wearing a hand towel, and I don't want to get yelled at for unshrinking you then staring at your boobs when they pop out over it."
Lucy kicked him again.
There was a noise, like a hiss of steam, and a creaking sound like leather boots, the smell of ozone, and something acidic filled the air and Lucy coughed a few times, then her feet thudded against the floor as she fled to the bathroom.
When Shaun opened his eyes, he caught sight of a pale feminine posterior as it disappeared behind a slammed bathroom door.
Rebecca chuckled, obviously having not closed her eyes. "That was freaky." She had her nose wrinkled up, hand waving before her face. "So, care to tell us how you defied modern science?"
Desmond scraped a hand through his hair and sat the 'squirt gun' on the table then collapsed back into a chair, legs spread, looking tired and dogged.
"Well, basically the chemicals react with the laser light through the prisms, cause the copper to decay, and the molecular breakdown creates the same radiation that causes a star to collapse in on itself and create a black hole."
Shaun continued to stare at him stupidly.
Rebecca nodded, as if she knew what he was talking about. Maybe she did. Maybe whatever planet she originally came from had already discovered such things and they were child's toys… Like goddamned squirt guns or something.
"It's released like a vapor through the nozzle here and basically causes your molecules to compact at a rapid rate… But it only creates a small amount of radiation so it only causes a small compaction."
"How do you undo it then?"
"Reverse the polarity of the chemical. It makes the copper decay differently and… And stuff. Same thing that causes a star to go supernova."
Stuff again… Shaun cringed.
"But on a small scale." Rebecca propped her chin on her hand.
"Right."
"Where did you get the chemical and what is it?"
Desmond smirked; "Like I'd tell you."
Rebecca grinned, and it was a rather unpleasant expression with her eyes narrowed and her teeth showing. Almost like a snarl… But a polite one.
"So the fact I'm missing almost a gallon of coolant, and three quarts of Primary Fluid for the Animus is completely unrelated?"
Desmond just smiled.
Lucy appeared out of the bathroom then. Dressed and back to her normal size, though it looked as if she'd been in the sun, her skin taken on a golden glow like a light, rather flattering tan.
"Oh, side-effect… Uh, the tan will fade like a normal tan, so you don't have to worry about that… But you might get hiccups and a rash." He motioned to his underarms and blushed.
"Thanks for the warning." She still looked positively livid. "Care to explain where you learned such advanced physics that you could leave the Templars in the dust?"
Desmond shrugged and nudged the gun across the tabletop with a rigid index finger, practically pouting. "I was bored."
"Bored."
He nodded.
"You learned physics and engineering, then defied it because you were bored."
Desmond rubbed his neck. "What's with the third degree? I like science, OK?"
"You like science…"
Desmond covered his face with both hands and rocked back in his chair; "I think there's an echo in here." He sighed and dropped the chair back onto four legs, propped his right elbow on the table and started talking, fingers rigid and curled as he made gestures to illustrate his thoughts.
"Back at the Farm, I got in trouble a lot. I wasn't the most athletic kid. In fact I got beaten up on a daily basis. I spent most of my time like, in the library reading shit or taking stuff apart to see how it worked. The first thing I built that didn't blow up in my face was a rubber band robot made from old clocks and an electronic dictionary I found in the garbage. I don't know how many times I burned my fingers with the soldering iron fixing a circuit board for it, but finally I got it right. And I actually made the first one of those-" he motioned to the gun, "-by accident. I was trying to make a laser pistol so I could take out the security cameras without making noise and escape. I thought I had it right, but I guess it was too strong. I fired off a shot at a camera, the light went right through it—through a couple drums of chemicals in the loading bay—And two trucks were reduced to the size of Tonka toys and my dad's favorite pittbull could suddenly fit in a teacup!"
Rebecca snorted.
Shaun stood then and walked quickly from the room, scrubbing his scalp with rigid fingers.
"Oh, come on, Shaun, I thought you wanted to hear this!" Rebecca called over her shoulder.
But Shaun had already shut the door to his room and locked it.
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