The beach was swarming with Gems, all gathered around a stage where Sadie Killer and the Suspects had played the previous night. A pair of enormous flood lights cast beams into the night sky, and a laser machine cast multi-coloured light onto a layer of dry ice.
Word had travelled quickly, that Pearl and Garnet had recently discovered brand new fusions with a new Crystal Gem, and an unfamiliar Pearl, Ruby and Sapphire would be fusing, to introduce them to their new friends, in Sardonyx's well-renowned theatrical format.
After much anticipation, a drumroll sounded, promptly hushing the crowd. The tension lifted tauntingly for a few moments, until the stage was consumed in an explosion of red smoke. The shroud soon cleared to reveal a tall fusion, with four arms held high in dramatic greeting.
"Good evening ladies and gentlegems! And welcome, to Sardonyx... TONIGHT!"
The new Sardonyx was at least a head shorter than the original, and looked resplendent in a blood red, sequined gown, with lace covering two of her shoulders. Her hair was a rounded, black afro with streaks of orange in it and like the original Sardonyx, she had four eyes, which often alternated being open and squinting, in pairs.
She took a microphone from the front of the stage in one hand, "How are we all doing tonight, folks, are we ready for a show?"
The crowd of Gems cheered their approval at Sardonyx's crowd work.
"So, any of you ever have one of those days, where you finish a year-long voyage through space, fleeing tyrants, only to come face-to-face with said tyrants, then get asked by a bunch of Gems you don't know, to introduce some Gems you kinda know, to a whole mess of Gems you've never met before? Earth, am I right?"
The crowd roared with laughter, as though they found what Sardonyx said very relatable. From the front, someone shouted, "She's describing my whole life!"
Sardonyx grinned and blushed slightly, seeming to gain a burst of confidence.
"So, before I... you know... came into existence, Rhodonite and Padparadscha danced a little, back stage, but have you guys ever noticed how, when Gems don't have time, or room for a fusion dance, they're just like 'Meh, we'll just join hands, and say we danced...'?"
The crowed laughed hysterically. Towering over the Gems around them, a fusion of two Jaspers shrugged in agreement. "Yeah, what's up with that!?" She laughed.
Sardonyx grinned, and gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "You're too kind, folks! But enough about me, I'd like to introduce you all to a brand-new fusion! You know them as the newest incarnation of the powerhouse from the Gem War, I know them as that kid I met a few times, fused with some Pearl. Iiiit's RAINBOW QUARTZ 2.0!"
A glittering rainbow arched through the air, over the screaming crowd. It flew towards the stage, before shooting upwards, and exploding, like a spectacular, rainbow-coloured firework. Amidst the raining embers, Rainbow Quartz drifted to the stage, with one foot in the handle of their parasol, one hand on the handle, and the other waving and blowing kisses at the cheering audience.
Once they were bored of their gradual descent, Rainbow closed their parasol, dropped to the stage, rolled acrobatically to its edge, and held the accessory to their mouth, like it was a microphone. Even though it wasn't, their voice carried over the roaring crowd. "HELLO BEACH CITY!"
While the crowd cheered their approval, the Pearl on Sardonyx's chest glowed, and projected a holographic desk and chair, matching the furniture from the chat show she was imitating.
"So, Rainbow... Tell me absolutely everything about yourself!" Sardonyx insisted, as she sat behind the desk. "Because I've literally never heard of your cut before today..."
Rainbow Quartz collapsed into a chair and stretched their arms upwards. "Well, I've had a pretty short go of it, but I can safely say I spend most of my time skydiving and playing Quidditch." They grinned, and held their palm out, as if to catch Ruby and Sapphire's Gems, as they had on Homeworld.
Towards the front of the crowd, Connie was sitting on Garnet's shoulders, to better see the stage. She laughed hysterically, while the entirety of the rest of the crowd stared at Rainbow in confusion.
Rainbow cringed nervously. "If you guys were all human, you'd agree that's a cracker..."
"But since we're not, let's talk about your abilities." Sardonyx suggested. "And that parasol... stretching the definition of a weapon, wouldn't you say?"
"Au contraire!" Rainbow leapt to their feet, and began swinging their parasol, as if chopping an invisible log. "Anything's a weapon if you're angry enough!"
"Well, what do you say we put that theory to the test?" Sardonyx gave a coy smile. "It's time for our next segment... beat my guest to a pulp for everyone's amusement!"
"Uhhh, you what?"
Sardonyx held her arms out to the crowd. "Now which of our lovely audience members would like to take a poke at my guest, to see what they can do?"
Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice cried out, before anyone else got a chance. "Ooh! Me! Right here!"
Bismuth muscled her way through the crowd, gently shoving the other audience members aside, before leaping over the last few rows and landing with a thud, on the stage next to Rainbow.
"Bismuth!" Rainbow cheerfully greeted. "Might've guessed I wouldn't have gotten through the evening without a tussle, ya knuckle head!"
Bismuth grinned excitedly and morphed one hand into a hammer, before slamming it into the palm of her other, warningly. "Oh, you're getting one, rookie!"
The crowd cheered encouragingly, many of their expressions showing familiarity with Bismuth's infectious enthusiasm.
"Alright!" Sardonyx announced, before taking an imaginary sip from her holographic coffee cup. "I want a nice clean fight! Let's not disrupt our guest before the show is over, so the winner can be... Oh I don't know, figure it out amongst yourselves." Without Warning, Sardonyx slammed all four palms into the desk and stood up. "FIGHT!"
Rainbow made the mistake of rounding on Sardonyx in surprise, after her outburst, while Bismuth was itching to begin. The latter's morphed hand flew at Rainbow like a missile, as Bismuth's arm stretched. Catching on in the nick of time, the fusion swayed clear of the attack, their feet skittering across the stage like a ballerina.
While Bismuth braced herself for a second attack, Rainbow summoned their parasol with a flourish, and rested it on their shoulder. "Bismuth my dear, you may be ready for a fight, but boy, are you going to feel silly if it rains."
Grinning, Bismuth raced towards Rainbow with her fists by her side, but Rainbow swayed clear of the attack like water around a rock. Bismuth attacked again and again, but Rainbow danced and twirled around her, never more than half a foot away, yet flawlessly dodging every punch. After a particularly forceful lunge missed, and left Bismuth somewhat off-balance, Rainbow closed their umbrella and swung it like a golf club, sending the hulking Gem sprawling across the stage.
"Not bad, Pixie." Bismuth grinned. "But it'll take more than fancy footwork to beat me!"
With a flex, Bismuth's hands became elongated scythes, and the violet Gem span her arms around until they became a deadly blur. Rainbow winced with all four eyes, as Bismuth charged at them, and backflipped away from the first attack, onto the stage's scaffolding. Looking down, at the blood-thirsty look in Bismuth's eye, the fusion pointed their parasol skywards, and it hoisted them upwards like a fish on a hook.
Bismuth leapt after her opponent with such force, that the stage cracked. Sparks flew from the rim of Rainbow's parasol as it pulled them, but Bismuth was hot in pursuit, however, strong as her legs may have been, Bismuth was not able to fly... a flaw that proved her undoing, as she slowed to a painful stop, dizzyingly high above the stage. Rainbow lounged on their closed parasol like it was a sofa, besides their temporarily airborne combatant.
"Bismuth, darling, I fear you may not have thought this through."
Before gravity could claim Bismuth, Rainbow Quartz gave it a hand. They grabbed their parasol, swung it overhead, and slammed it into Bismuth's back. The muscular weapon smith cried in alarm and exertion as she hurtled downwards, and G-force threatened to tear away her form. Below, Sardonyx barely managed a cry of alarm, before Bismuth hit the stage like a meteorite, sending splintered wood and metal beams flying, amidst a mushroom cloud of sand.
Rainbow drifted towards the wreckage with an apologetic cringe in their eyes, as with much grunting and sighing, Bismuth, Rhodonite and Padparadscha rose from the debris.
"I predict... that you'll get carried away..." Padparadscha offered.
Bismuth laughed awkwardly at her role in the destruction. "I guess I should fix this up so Sunstone can have a turn, huh?"
"You don't say?" Rhodonite replied, sarcastically, holding her head in exasperation. "We'll be right back, folks..."