For Love and Prime

by Gatekat

G1 Mirage/Prowl. Sometimes Prowl needs to be reminded of his place in the greater scheme of things. For a mech who exists more in his processor than his frame, words carry more power than pain.

2. In Order to Serve

Codes: Pre-Earth, Sticky, Hurt/Comfort, Reprogramming
Summary: When a program is too badly damaged to work, it's time to replace it. Sometimes, true loyalty means breaking a commander's orders in order to continue to serve.

For Love and Prime 2: In Order to Serve
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Mirage was fully aware when Prowl first began the slow, methodical boot cycle that always followed their sessions. It would take him nearly a breem to become fully aware, a very different sensation from the battle-protocols they normally operated under that would have the mech on his pedes and capable of defending himself within nanokliks if needed, a klik or less if there was no threat.

He could see how much of Prowl's processors had booted and integrated at any given moment by the subtle changes in those handsome faceplates. From the peace of deep recharge the first shift was just the tiny shifts in expression as the mechanics that controlled facial expressions powered up and began their test cycle. There was no real awareness behind it yet. Prowl had learned long ago to order his sequence so all the physical checks were performed before any of his self-awareness did. Even in something as natural as the checks, it distressed him not to be able to control it.

Features smoothed out, relaxed to neutral once more when the check was completed. Only it wasn't the neutral that the rest of the universe saw. This was a peaceful neutral, the neutral of being relaxed. That look remained until Prowl's optics lit, slowly and softly. He was in no hurry.

A tiny smile caressed Prowl's lips and he reached up to stroke Mirage's cheek. "Did you recharge well?"

Mirage leaned into the touch, purring contentedly at the smile and gesture that had subdued the last flickers of worry he'd still been feeling. "Yes," he lied smoothly, covering Prowl's hand with his own. "Did you?"

The Praxian stilled at that question, expected as it was. "It was ... insightful," he murmured, a flicker of unease ghosting through his field before desire washed over it. With that same gentle touch, the only touch Mirage ever felt from Prowl, the noble was drawn into a tender, lingering and chaste kiss. An expression of affection, of thanks, of care that Prowl could not give voice to.

His kind did not have that glyph. Even if taught it, he could not apply it to himself.

He knew affection though, and devotion, and thanks and care. All those were given to the slender mech in his arms and warm against his plating.

"This morning is yours," Prowl purred softly, an open invitation for Mirage to select anything that would please him as thanks for the previous night.

Mirage pressed back into the kiss, moaning softly at the gift he knew Prowl was offering him. These were the moments he craved, when it was his turn to be selfish and take what he needed from the one he cared for so deeply. His fingers curled around Prowl's neck as he lay back, tugging the larger mech to follow, settling himself on his back beneath his lover. He pulled Prowl into another kiss, and then relaxed completely, looking up into Prowl's optics, vents shivering with anticipation.

His lover followed smoothly, willingly compliant with the silent direction, and waited patiently.

Without a word, Mirage's chest split and the whisper of his spark chamber spiraling open filled the air. Light spilled out as the armor moved out of the way, accenting the angles of Prowl's face, casting upwards shadows that made him exotically beautiful. It was a sight Mirage loved.

Prowl's vents almost stalled on him, his optics spiraled wide. Surprised shock rippled across his field, but it dissipated quickly. Without question he unlocked his armor and brought his spark chamber forward. It spiraled open, allowing the corona to ghost across Mirage's as tendrils from each spark sought the other. Rare as this was, their sparks knew each other.

Mirage's entire frame arched up into the contact and he moaned softly, hands settling lightly on Prowl's arms. Restless, eager fingers ghosted along the armor as more wisps of light and energy spilled up, merging with their mirrors from Prowl's spark. Each one strengthened and brightened as soon as they joined and Mirage moaned again, louder, his fingers stilling suddenly while the rest of him trembled.

"Thank you," Mirage gasped and cried out in rapture and relief as the soft pleasure merge deepened, strand by strand, until coronal mass mingled. Above him Prowl moaned, shivering at the intensity that was a spark merge, even at this casual level.

"Always," Prowl moaned and lowered his chest, sinking their sparks closer together and pressing his sense of self through the forming link, offering a deeper merge to his lover.

Mirage stared up at Prowl as soon as he felt it, shocked by the gift he was being given. He had no thought of refusing. Something this rare, something he craved with every fiber of his being, was to be accepted and treasured, and so, with shaking fingers reaching up to brush over Prowl's cheek, he opened himself completely and offered his own consciousness even as he pulled Prowl in.

Prowl's care for him, loyalty to him, fears for him, affection towards him all swirled around Mirage's awareness as the merge deepened slightly.

~Everything will be all right,~ Prowl's thought-feeling reassurance wrapped around Mirage in a blanket of comfort backed by the most advanced tactical system ever developed. ~We endure. We will always endure.~

~Prowl,~ Mirage answered, unable to do more than curl into his lover's presence, existing in that instant as relief and joy, because he knew-no matter what came later, no matter what had come before-that Prowl was giving him the truth. Distantly, he felt his body shake and heard his own blissful keen, but it was so little in comparison to this, to being wrapped and held. Every fear he had offered up in that first moment of connection had been wiped away by the strong voice, leaving Mirage shimmering with joy in its wake.

~Mirage,~ Prowl whisper-sang in the dialect of the towers. It was a perfection that had taken vorns of work to learn, and many more to do so smoothly and effortlessly.

Mirage sang his answer, ~Lover, light of my spark, bliss of my life,~ trilling back his gratitude that Prowl had done so much, all for him. His song continued wordlessly as he gave everything he was, harmonics revealing the incandescence that was his existence in that moment.

Their essences mingled and flowed, fears and reassurances and simple comfort offered and taken without shame.

~Mirage!~ Prowl's very spark keened in bliss as the overload swept through them in the same moment, their sparks and systems as interconnected as two beings could become.

~Prowl!~ Mirage answered in the same moment, surrendering to the running charge that swept through him, the ecstasy of being united so deeply.

The bliss whited out everything into a soft reboot, the kind that brought one up softly and sated, feeling as if nothing could be less than perfect. When Mirage's regained enough awareness to take note of the situation it was not what he'd expected. His lover was still sprawled on top of him, completely content, but their processors were peripheral to each other.

A surprised blip flicked through Mirage's CPU while Prowl waited patiently for him to assess and accept. It took him barely a nanoklik and then Mirage was looking into Prowl's optics. He nuzzled his lover's helm, sated and contented, and perfectly happy, in that moment, to never think about moving again.

~Hello,~ he greeted, accompanying the greeting with a deep purr that made his chassis vibrate fondly.

Prowl nuzzled him in reply, affection and calm certainty towards the future caressing Mirage's awareness as it willingly sank into Prowl's processors, only dimly aware that he was going deeper than usual. Eventually quiet calm and order gave way to the jagged, shattered code that Prowl had long been forced to function with.

~It is time,~ Prowl murmured, apologetic that he was doing this to his lover even though they both knew there would come a time when it had to be done. ~I know you do not wish to do the procedure,~ he stroked along Mirage's cheek with his thumb. ~I will still ask. Will you create and install a personality that does not need to be hurt to perform its function?~

Mirage's vents caught and stuttered for a moment as he turned his head, pressing desperately into Prowl's hand. ~You're sure?~ he asked, pointlessly, because of course Prowl was sure. Sure that it was time, sure that he wanted it, sure that Mirage was his choice. ~If I can't do it?~

~I will force Ratchet to, by threatening to go to Jazz if he doesn't,~ Prowl said gently, just as sure that the medic would do well.

Mirage huffed a laugh. ~Primus help us if Jazz did it,~ he said, trying not to think about what he already knew his answer was. ~No one would ever recharge again.~ He hesitated, face still pressed into Prowl's touch, and offlined his optics.

He would never have to hurt Prowl again. He could have a lover who took the same joy in a gentle hardline interface as he did, instead of a lover who accepted them out of devotion and gratitude. He could have a lover who didn't want to destroy himself for this cause, a lover who would leave with him, abandon the Prime and this Primus-forsaken war, all so they could be together.

Or Prowl could forget. Such a clean start would be a mercy for him, and a torment for Mirage.

It was hard-no, it was impossible-for Mirage to imagine wanting to be reprogrammed. For him, it would be a horrifying punishment, something to be fought against with all his strength. But he had seen and felt for himself the pain Prowl lived in. He could help, really help, not just keep the pain at temporary bay as he had these past vorns. In here and between their sparks he'd also felt, pure and calm, that reprogramming had never been something Prowl feared. That for Prowl, reprogramming because of glitching software was a mercy and welcome thing.

But he was still terrified, frightened to his core that he would do it wrong, change Prowl into something he never would have wanted to be, something designed to suit Mirage's desires. Wordlessly, he let that fear bleed out into his field.

~I trust you,~ Prowl's reply swirled around Mirage's awareness as he gently rested their forehelms together. ~I wish to be content once more. You know my spark. You know what to design so I can be content. It is all I desire. To be content with my existence once more.~

Mirage huddled against Prowl, quivering. As much as it could be easier to simply let Ratchet perform the procedure and create a no-nonsense, all-business Prowl who would efficiently perform his duties and be content with that existence while Mirage learned to live without his lover...he couldn't accept that. He couldn't lose what he had found. He would do whatever it took to help Prowl, no matter his own reservations. ~I will do it,~ he finally said, and his grip tightened as he spoke. ~If only because...I need you to remember my song to your spark.~

Warmth and affection, the desire to remember that and so much more about Mirage embraced the noble. ~Thank you,~ Prowl murmured between them, gentle, grateful and keenly aware of just how much he was asking of his lover.

~Always,~ Mirage whispered.

SxSxSxSxSxSxSxSx S===================S SxSxSxSxSxSxSxS

Sixteen vorns after Mirage had meticulously reformatted his lover, and the noble was still occasionally amazed that they'd gotten away with it. Recalling the reaction from Prowl when the mech rebooted after the work was still a bittersweet thing. They were still hardlined together, Mirage watching with terrified intensity as each system booted in order and came up clean. So much could go wrong with the amount of work he'd done. Despite the repercussions, Ratchet's comm was barely a thought away, primed to send an emergency signal and location to the CMO should anything go wrong.

Yet as system after system boot up in slow progression, nothing raised an alarm. He'd done no damage to the coding controlling physical function. A long x-vent of relief escaped Mirage, along with a faint tremble of relief. Now came the part where he knew he'd done major damage, for there was no other way to describe what he had forced upon the unconscious mech. It did not matter that Prowl had begged for it, helped plan it, design it and gave explicit instructions on what code had to go. Never once did Prowl hint at what code he might want to remain.

It terrified the second creation noble to his core to have that kind of power over his lover, his superior. For that was what Prowl had become: the noble first creation that Mirage was intended to, the dominant and ranking one in their relationship, the one that Mirage was supposed to mold himself to suit the every whim of. The fallacy and illogic of the statement to the world it was phrased for was irrelevant. It was the only way Mirage could make any of what they needed, what he needed, work.

Program and protocols booted up and integrated, all without errors. Slowly, so painfully slowly, over more than a full breem, Prowl's consciousness came on line.

~Mirage,~ the relief at the recognition and that he still felt towards the other, his lover, was the first thing that hit Mirage when Prowl had enough of himself on line for it.

Mirage responded with a fond flicker of greeting and reached out to link their fingers together, squeezing. He didn't want to react too much and possibly influence Prowl's consciousness as the new coding was explored and assimilated. He was still worried that he had kept too much. With every memory accessed, it was becoming ever more clear that his lover was very surprised, even shocked at how much of his former self remained.

Flickering in and outs were doubts that anything had been changed, and that bloomed into outright fear. For the first time Mirage watched the fundamental alteration to his lover when the massive and all-consuming tactical systems took over. Prowl faded to the background. Dominant and consuming was a coldly logical number cruncher that swept through Prowl's memories and code with a brutal efficiency that Mirage had only had a hint of before.

Then the tactical systems turned on him, locking onto the peripheral systems and the mech they belonged to.

Mirage froze and forced himself not to pull away when he felt the intensity of that system focusing in and he stared into optics that were cold with the complete detachment that came from pure logic.

As he looked, he doubted his work, wondered if he should have simply stripped the mech down to this system and not forced the illogic of what they shared onto him. It was what Ratchet would have done. It would have been the selfless, merciful choice. For the good of the Prime and their cause, and possibly even what would have been best for Prowl.

And he feared that the system that was currently scrutinizing him would come to the same conclusion.

Instead Prowl asserted himself and forced the tactical systems to back off, stand down. Mirage was his and he wasn't going to allow a tool to hurt him.

~Do not doubt yourself so much, my love,~ Prowl whispered across the connection as the tactical systems complied to his command without hesitation. ~It may not have been what I was expecting, but I think I like this.~

~Love,~ Mirage echoed, stunned for a moment, even though he had purposefully added the glyph and the ability to comprehend it to Prowl's systems. Knowing it was possible was one thing, hearing it in Prowl's own voice was something else entirely. ~Love.~ He leaned in and touched their helms together. ~Dearest spark,~ he whispered. ~I hope...you can be content, now. I hope I did not fail you.~

Prowl lifted his arms to hold Mirage close and kissed him gently. ~What drove me to self-destruct is gone. That you left so much of me ... thank you. Thank you for allowing me to continue serving the Prime, and do so with a clear conscience.~

~Always, anything,~ Mirage answered, not admitting how badly he had wanted to take away any inclination to serve the Prime. In the end, he hadn't been able to do it. It had been so important to the Prowl he'd fallen in love with, he couldn't bring himself to steal it from him. Even if it meant losing Prowl to war, even if it meant giving him the capacity to choose the army over him... he couldn't bring himself to all but force the mech to love him. He'd given him their memories, and the choice.

~I know, my love,~ Prowl whispered with a nuzzle. ~I knew my trust in you was well placed. As much as you hate the war, you do believe in our Prime.~ He slid his hands along Mirage's back. ~Now, what can I do to sooth the distress I caused you with this request.~

Mirage purred and arched up into the touch. ~Anything, everything,~ he answered, still dazed by how successful his work had been, still almost waiting for something to go wrong. He had taken a huge risk with this. ~Anything you'd like.~

With a soft smile Prowl kissed him again and began to part his chest plates-

The soft hum of systems booting to life had Mirage snapping his head up, pulled out of the memory in an instant, and looking to the medbay table he was sitting next to and the mech laying on it.

Yes, they had gotten away with the reprogramming, and yes, most of the time he was deliriously happy. Prowl no longer fought the Enforcer code that demanded such harsh punishment for failure, no longer lived with the warring codes of an officer and an unranked soldier. It had freed his tac-net up to perform its duty unhindered by guilt or requirement, and Prowl had kept much of who he was. He had lost Praxus, and with it, most of his culture, but he was content with that.

But the sheer strength of the unhindered tac-net caused problems of its own, and there were times when its logic subroutines couldn't make sense of something, couldn't rectify it with its ideas of what should be, and those times...

Mirage squeezed the white hand he was holding in both of his own. Those times ended here. ::Ratchet?:: he commed. ::He's booting up.::

::Good,:: the medic replied as be stalked over. Despite the outward appearance of extreme irritation, his field was smooth, calm and reassuring. It was the result of the medical coding, something that didn't always settle well with Ratchet's spark or core personality, but the patients needed it more often than not. Fields read more critical than faces or tones, for fields were much more difficult to lie through.

Prowl groaned before his optics lit and turned his helm to face Mirage as he squeezed the hands holding his lightly. "What was it this time?" he asked quietly. Self-protection protocols had sequestered the dangerous memory and deleted it with a marker of what and why it was done.

To the side, Ratchet gave an irritated snort and turned away. Mirage watched him for a moment before looking back to Prowl. "Ah...Sunstreaker lost a bet, it seems, and his 'punishment' was to kiss you."

Prowl cycled his optics as he processed that. A very long half klik later and he regarded his lover more seriously. "A kiss, even from Sunstreaker, should not have crashed me that hard."

Mirage sighed, tilted his head as he thought, and then scowled and huffed. "He pushed you into a wall and practically sucked your face off and then offered to 'face you senseless right there." His scowl deepened. "Specifically, he offered to bend you over a table."

Prowl made a choking sound and his engine stalled. Optics spiraled wide and brightened noticeably. "He what?"

Mirage winced. "You crashed pretty hard," he said. "Um. I think almost as soon as he said 'spike you'...it was really fast. I think he was almost as surprised as you when you just dropped."

"I ... am not surprised," Prowl finally managed to settle his systems. "Who was the bet with?"

"Sideswipe," Mirage said. "Idiot," he added disdainfully.

Prowl huffed, then sighed as he relaxed, easing into the state he knew would sooth his aching processors and frame the quickest. He accepted the special energon blend Ratchet handed to him and drank without question. "Do you wish a hand in their punishment?"

Mirage grinned at him, optics glinting. "May I be...unconventional?"

"Those two require unconventional," Prowl huffed again, but there was a matching gleam in his optics. "So long as the punishment does not break any regulations itself, I have tremendous latitude in assigning what I see fit."

Mirage thought for a moment. "I don't believe invisibly stalking them to make a film montage of their most embarrassing moments would break any regulations." He paused. "Though it might be time-consuming."

Prowl laughed, a light, honest sound that was entirely too rare. "Unfortunately it does, my love," he smiled and brought Mirage's hand up to kiss. "Unless you restrict yourself to public areas. They are still entitled to a measure of privacy in the private quarters."

Mirage looked at him innocently. "Who said I would follow them into their quarters? Those two spend more than enough time in public areas thinking no one is watching them."

"And what do you plan to do with the montage when it is complete?" Prowl purred, enjoying collaborating with his lover.

"I might misplace it in a convenient place to be found," Mirage said, shrugging carelessly. He leaned in, echoing the purr. "The question is, is that enough?"

"With an orn in the brig and a bit of cleaning detail, yes," Prowl decided. "It should leave them wondering why I am being so lenient and what plan I have to get even."

Mirage hummed and closed the distance between them, sealing their lips together. ::Ratchet says you should stay in berth for a little while. I told him I would make sure you stayed there and have everything you need. I think he probably intended for you to rest but...he didn't specify.::

::Rest actually sounds very good,:: Prowl admitted, returning the kiss gently. ::Crashing that hard takes a lot out of me, even if I am physically fine now.::

::Then I will simply have to wait until you are rested before I think of creative ways to keep you in berth,:: Mirage said, no shortness of mischievous, seductive intent in his field.

Prowl drew him into another tender kiss. ::I look forward to it, my love.::