PART 2

"Hey, Adam," Hoss said while knocking on Adam's door. "Pa sent me up to see if you're comin' to church this mornin' ."

Adam had yet to attend church since his return but every Sunday morning, Ben sent one of his other sons to ask Adam if he was joining them.

"No." Adam shouted irritably. "Let me sleep." There was no more sound from the other side of the door and Adam rolled over and tried to fall asleep again but he just lay there and eventually he heard the sounds of the buckboard which meant they were leaving.

As he looked up at the ceiling, he thought about the empty day ahead of him; his father didn't want them to work on Sundays but Adam considered that a wasted day. When he was on board the ship, after the short religious service that was conducted for those who chose to attend, there was always work to do and Adam didn't like being idle; it gave him the luxury to think. Adam knew that Will and Laura were to come to dinner that night. They had three boys now and then there was Peggy. He would like to see Peggy-he still felt affection for her-but no matter how much he delved into his emotions, he couldn't find any feelings left for Will and Laura except curiosity. Adam wondered if, when he looked at them together, he would see himself, what would have become of him had he married her. But that was it. Nothing more.

And then his thoughts jumped to Lucy. She would be at church, he was sure of that, and he pictured her sweet face, as beautiful and as calm as the Madonna's. Maybe, he thought, one day soon, he would attend church just to see her and to judge his feelings. And then he started thinking about the night in the barn when she had declared her love for him and confessed that she had loved him ever since she was a child, that she had always adored him. Little Tag-along Lucy had grown from the pest she had been to a beautiful woman who loved him and whom he still couldn't appreciate. But Adam had to admit to himself that in the last few months before her parents had sent her away to boarding school, when Lucy was still his shadow, he had started to see her beauty and hints of what she would be like as a woman. And because of that, he had been even more cruel to her, telling her to go home and to behave like a lady, not some little hoyden who was always annoying him. But, he told himself, at the time he had to do it-otherwise he was afraid that he would have grabbed her one day and kissed her and she, because she worshipped him, would have allowed it-and maybe even more. And as he thought of Lucy, as he remembered her lithe body pressed against him as they danced, he felt the first flush of arousal begin.

Adam pressed the heels of his hands against his brow. Damn her! Damn Lucy! She invaded his thoughts over and over. Lucy, with her supple white neck and the gentle swell of her breasts, her soulful, hazel eyes and her lush mouth tormented him and so he hated her-she took away his peace of mind.

So Adam decided that he would go out and fix the gate on the corral, to replace the broken catch. It hadn't been much of one before he left, just a board slipped into a looped rope, but Joe had created some makeshift contraption that sufficed after they rebuilt part of the corral. The perfectionist in Adam, the architect in him would not allow it to remain. "Thou shalt not suffer an architectural monstrosity to exist." was his and his roommate's slogan in college.

He had designed the closure in his mind, had imagined it from every angle and how the gate would hook into place, the metal shaft having a hasp to keep it shut. At first Adam had considered having extra pins but then he thought of putting the pin on a chain so that it wouldn't be misplaced or lost. And now that he had all of Sunday morning to himself and felt he needed to think about practical things, Adam dressed and set out for the barn.

The day was crisp and Adam had put a vest over his shirt and buttoned it to stay warmer. He put his hat on to keep his head warm too although he preferred to work without one. He went to the back of the barn and the horses nickered to him so Adam said good morning to them and gave each of them an extra serving of oats. "It's Sunday, boys," he said. "Enjoy your Sunday dinner. And if things don't go well inside, I'll eat with you in the barn. You might be better company than Will and Laura."

Adam went to the area where the tools were kept and searched through the scrap metal to see what he could use, what he could hammer into a shape that would serve his purpose. The anvil stood ready. He had everything that he needed, flat metal that could be bent and the awl to punch holes so that it could be nailed onto the board. He found all that he needed but a pin or anything that could be made into a pin.

Since it was Sunday, no stores were open in Virginia City but the livery always was-Mr. Lewis knew that many people chose Sundays to take their ladies on picnics or to take long rides to friends and family who lived in nearby towns-and Mr. Lewis never missed a chance to make money; he worshipped lucre every day of the week. So Adam saddled up Sport and rode into town.

As he cantered across the Ponderosa, he viewed the vast holdings his family held, the miles upon miles he and his family called theirs and Adam thought that it was as vast as the green sea. It was so huge that the scenery changed from lush and green on which to graze cattle to forests so thick that there were always more than enough pine for the lumber aspect of their business holdings. And then there was the silver that had been discovered and that his father had not yet revealed, afraid of what might happen if others knew what the Ponderosa was hiding under her skin. And Adam laughed to himself; they had always referred to the Ponderosa as a she- just as sailors referred to their ships as she and the waters and the waves. Women, Adam thought, we call all those things females because they catch you the way a women does-grabs you and never lets you go. They consume you and crawl into your bones until you breathe their scent and feel their voice through every fiber of your being and Adam thought about the woman he had lost over five years ago and then shook his head clear; he couldn't afford to let his grief overwhelm him. No more, he told himself, no more. But he couldn't pull his heart free from her grasp and doubted he ever could.

TBC