The cab ride to the airport was quiet. Ste was thinking about the kids and Amy and how much he would miss them while in America. I love Doug, but I'm not so sure I can live without them, he thinks to himself. I gotta try this for us, for my Doug.
Doug stares out the window. He cannot get the kiss at the Chez Chez out of his head. He had retreated to that place in his mind where the event just plays over and over. Why can't I let this go? He says to himself, because Ste still loves him that's why. I will never be good enough so why keep trying. I love him, but I don't know that I can win this fight.
As Ste and Doug head into the airport terminal, Doug feels that he cannot go on any further. He stops Ste and Ste looks back at him with concern on his face.
You okay? Ste Says.
Doug has rehearsed his speech in his head. He wonders if he can say it without falling pieces.
"You were quiet in the car, Doug says, you miss him don't you."
"Who" Ste replies
"Brendan," Doug answers
Ste looks down at the floor. "Doug we've been over this. It is you I love not him. I don't want anything to do with him anymore." Ste says defiantly to Doug.
"But you kissed him," Doug says, "I saw you kiss at our going away party.
Ste doesn't respond. He had no idea that Doug saw Brendan kiss him. He honestly doesn't know how to reply so he stays silent.
Doug says, "You still love him."
"Doug" is the only words that Ste can get out. He is heart broken that Doug witnessed Brendan kissing him. He hates how this is hurting Doug.
Doug presses on while trying to hold back the tears, "Look here's a ticket for Dublin. That's where you need to be right now. I have to go to be with my dad."
A pleading Ste only looks at him and says, "Doug Please."
But Doug stuck to his guns, "No Ste just go, I don't want to hold you back from true happiness. I know that you are not happy with me. I will always love you, and I will always be there for you. If you decide it's me that you love, that's great. If not then it's for the best, and I will have to move on."
Both Ste and Doug were in tears. It was not easy to hear. It was clear that Doug had made up his mind. Ste knew that they could not have this conversation now. Doug needed to be with his dad. That was more important.
Doug hugs Ste and through his tear-strained voice says, "I am a better man for having loved you."
As Doug separates from Ste, he picks up his bag to board the flight to America. Ste stands there alone and heartbroken. The man that he loves is leaving him. The man that loved him so completely just walked away, and Ste could do nothing but watch. His head, his whole body ached after what just happened. Ste whispers to himself, This can't be then end. I will not let it. Ste just sits down and cries his heart out. Doug was gone. He felt so empty.