I do not own The Last Ship

Slattery

At the beginning I wasn't that impressed with Rachel Scott. It takes a lot to break into my circle of trust and I couldn't ever imagine a situation where she would. How wrong I was.

When I was first introduced to her at Norfolk she was very professional but totally focused. The only interaction I had with her was with regards to co-ordinating her travel arrangements every day and access to some of her materials that were stored elsewhere on the ship. I was quite happy to get on with my job and she was happy to get on with hers. If you had to deal with civilian passengers on a Navy ship, then I guess that was probably the best you could hope for.

Then it all changed. When I found out that not only had she been lying to us, but that my family was endangered because of this red flu and my son was dead, I saw red. How could this self-involved, prissy little science bitch sit there and tell us what to do when my family was hurting? I knew Tom would put her back in her place because I knew Tom. He was reliable and he was stubborn and he was honourable.

And then she got Tom on her side. And more than that - Tom told me I had to toe the line.

That hurt. But deep down under the hurt I wondered what it was about the science bitch that impressed Tom, because something had. The Tom Chandler I knew wouldn't have put his trust in a science bitch without there being something. Even if it meant saving the world.

And little by little I began to understand what Tom saw in her. Because Rachel Scott was fighting a war, just like we were. She was working as hard as we were, harder in fact. She was in that lab for 20 hours a day. She ate in that lab. Sometimes she slept in that lab. When she bothered to sleep. And she was honourable. And she was caring. And she wanted to help.

The first crack in the wall was Gitmo. When she offered to go to the beach to help our team. She didn't have to do that. It's not like she owed us anything. She offered because it was the right thing to do and because she cared. It's difficult to keep hating someone when you know that one of your sailors is alive because she risked her life to save his.

And then there was the lock down. And the Captain's revelation as to who Rachel Scott really was. That she had devoted her life to helping others. To scientific research against viruses. That she had fought the bureaucracy and the Government to be here. That she had done the right thing.

And I knew then that blaming Rachel Scott for my predicament was blaming the wrong person.

Don't get me wrong. Rachel was a nightmare to work with. The woman just could not stay out of trouble. Even if she wasn't currently in trouble it seemed that she would do everything she could to get herself into it.

Like when the Captain was taken by the Russians. They wanted her in exchange and she volunteered. I told her that she was too important to go but she batted down all my counter arguments. I don't know if it was the academic background but she had this way of making what she said sound totally reasonable. God knows, I shouldn't have let her go, and with what happened afterwards when we tested the vaccine, it was a good thing she didn't get hurt or killed because we never would have been able to make the vaccine work without her, but I let her go.

And despite being terrified, she showed a fine understanding of the tactical realities of the situation. But even I nearly shat myself when she told me that she planned to pass the note to Tom by kissing him! I wasn't the only one – I thought Green was going to pass out. Interestingly, Foster didn't seem to bat an eyelid. We didn't quite make breakfast the next day, but after she was back (and Tom finished reaming me a new one for risking her) I sought her out because I'd decided in that moment that Dr Rachel Scott had managed to butt her way into my circle of trust. Because anyone who volunteers to put themselves into the hands of a Russian despot to save their shipmates totally deserves to be in my circle of trust.

And I never regretted getting to know Rachel better. We met regularly after that day and I think I helped her to get over killing that Russian officer and I got to know Rachel Scott as a person and not as the saviour of humanity that she is now remembered as.

Rachel was a pretty unique human being. Hyper intelligent. Four degrees for Christ's sake! Driven. Focused. We all knew that. But what Rachel kept hidden away and that you only saw if you were lucky enough, was a warmth and compassion that was totally at odds with the sometimes cold, aloof image she presented to the outside world. And she also had a sense of humour. A dry, sarcastic and often downright vicious sense of humour.

But one thing that really surprised me is that Rachel was pretty underconfident. Maybe we didn't see her at her best. Having the future of civilisation hanging on you for most of a year probably isn't great for your mental health. I often wondered what Rachel was like before the red flu. And I really wonder what she would have been like afterwards. And if anyone deserved to find that out, she did.

I also wonder what Tom would have been like. Because there's no doubt he changed that day as well. He tried really hard to get himself back on track, but the day Rachel died I swear a part of Tom died too.

I was on the bridge when he walked in through the door that morning. It was uncanny. We'd been on that tin can for over ten months. We all had wanted nothing more than to get off it. Everybody had quarters on shore but when we heard that Rachel had been taken to the ship everybody, and I mean everybody, needed to be there. We mustered something like 200 at that point and 184 were back on board. All waiting, all hoping.

I didn't need to look twice at Tom to know it was bad news. There was that crushed look that I'd never seen on Tom before. But I knew that look because I saw it in the mirror the day that Christine told me that Lucas had died and for many of the days afterwards. That barely holding it together look.

He looked through me as he went up to the 1MC. I'll remember his announcement for the rest of my life.