Hey guys! While I am busy celebrating that I have a couple of reviews, don't forget that I'm only a child, and I have school, ya know! I can only do so much for my little kiddie brain okay? I'm going to answer your question now. Yes, this is biased off of people I am very much familiar with. I had a preacher that was energetic, bold, courageous, and just so much more. I didn't feel too comfortable in the church I was in though because I felt like his eyes were judging me. I felt so…separated…from the church. I felt indifferent, the energy surrounding the church made me feel like I did not belong there, and I do not even think it's the church, but the people in it. I went to another church and felt great about this one! No one seemed to be judging my every move. In my old church, no one didn't even welcome us back to church, they don't even say bye or hello, how rude! I said hi to my preacher and he completely ignored me. Or maybe he just didn't hear me because I'm known for having a really soft voice, but how could he hear my brother say hi and not me? I felt singled out and I did like the preachers son too..but oh well.
When I imagine a true church of God, I think of God himself. He said. "You are a temple." The church is in you! As long as you have god and have a great personal relationship with God than all will end well!
Oh I've been working on some other new stories so this is not my only one I have to catch up on, and I've been on my other stories for about a few days. The other days I've been in school and when I get out of school I don't immediately go to my computer and start writing. I usually go with my mother to the store. Yes I'm a girly girl. I like to shop til I drop. Lol Well..at least when I have the money, but I know how to save, don't get me wrong!
Oh and the main character "Ariel." Is actually a split between me and my favorite character in a story. (That acts just like me.) The Atheist (mystery boy) is actually one of my friends who I go to school with. I like him but things are complicated. I can't ever be with him though so that's why I'm having him in my story!
The lyrics to Ariel song in this chapter, I want the song to be a surprise because I love this song! No I do not own the lyrics, but in my story, the character Ariel is writing them as her own. It's so gentle, yet so very beautiful.
Leave a comment and enjoy. Thank you for those who did review.
Beautiful garden where have you gone.
My self-delusions are leaving me in the storm
Taking for granted all the goodness that I've found
Somewhere I lost all, the control came crashing down
Ariel bit her lip as she slowly closed her song book and unlocked the locket from her dairy. She flipped the pages open until she came across a blank sheet of paper. Letting out a gentle smile, Ariel began to write in her diary about today's event.
Dear Diary,
Today was an amazing day. I went over to my grandma house and we were discussing together about the new trip our family was going to take when summer comes around. I learned a couple things about her I never knew and I have to say I couldn't believe that she like to watch life time just as much as I do. I know it should have been obvious, I mean seriously, it's like a channel for old folks! But I love watching people lives take twist and turns for the worse and for the good, it makes its all the more interesting! Is that a bad thing? That I like to watch something bad unfold? Nah, I always like to see the worse turn out the good. I like happy endings, darn it! That leads me to church. Omg, omg, omg, did you see how great I was up there?! I was actually singing, SINGING! I mean I never imagined my first time to be in church of all places! I mean not that that's a bad thing, but I imagine me in a concert, and worse forgetting the lyrics! I always longed for a day like this to come true and it truly happened! I can't believe it even now as I'm writing it right now.
Everyone was complementing me. It felt so good to receive so much praise! The support was great, even the lead singer likes my singing, and she even said she was jealous of me! Honestly, I don't believe I'm any better than her in singing, I think she has me beat, and she's so much prettier than I will ever be. Ariel pouted as she wrote this. We sung a few more songs until it was time for church to end. After saying bye to the preacher, me and my mother stepped out into the rain, and that's when I saw something, or rather someone, who sparked my interest. It was a boy. He was standing all alone in the rain..i couldn't get a clear visual of his face, but I could tell by how his face was twisted, and how his eyes were cast up with a far away look…
Ariel eyes begin to water. I know that look…a look I am all too familiar with…a look of peer pain. It griped at my heart to see him so sad. I don't know why..but I want to help this boy. I want to take away that pain. I knew how it felt to be alone and sad…or at least that's how he appeared to look…still even so, what am I to do now? It's not like I would ever see him again. Right? Ariel let out a huge sigh before closing her diary shut and locked it with a small golden key. She smiled a sad smile at the heart shaped outline that the key went in and out to unlock and lock the contents in her diary. It meant so much to her to see the heart, it gave her faith that someday someone would unlock the key to her heart. She shed a tear as a memory of a boy entered her thoughts. She shook her head at the unwanted thought.
'No, no, not him again! I can't let him enter my thoughts so easily! I mustn't think of him ever again! I can't!' Despite her inner protest, Ariel broke down in tears, burying her face in her pillow, she choked out. I was so stupid. So, so very stupid to believe him. I hate him! I hate him so much!' Ariel gasps at her saying she hated him and it only caused her to break down in more tears. Her heart, it was hurting so much, it was too unbearable, the pain felt like anything she never felt before. What was this? The pain that was killing her from the inside was the worse pain she'd ever experienced before. She hated it. She hated feeling like this over some stupid boy who was no good for her. 'What am I saying? He's nice, kind hearted, energetic, spontaneous, loving, caring and he's.-" She choked back some tears, the pain was starting to set in, she almost couldn't take saying the next sentence. "And he's..he's everything t-that..i c-can't have."
She buried her face further into the pillow and clenched on its side as if it gave her some type of comfort. "P-Please God..l-let me b-be with h-him. Please."
Ariel cried her eyes dry all the while into the night until her body finally gave in and fell into a deep slumber only to dream about the boy who had caused her so much pain.
"Ariel!" Her mother voice disturbed her from her sleep.
Ariel blinked her eyes open and rolled over off the bed. With a yawn she called back to her mom. "Yeah, yeah, I'm up!"
"Hurry up and get ready! I overslept and you're almost late for school!" Her mother said.
"Okay, I'll be there! Give me a couple of minutes!" Ariel sighed and got dressed for school while going over her usual morning routine. Wash down, brush teeth, do hair, and finally put on the plain boring uniform that was Americas. Ariel shook her head. Why can't America have cute uniforms like those in japan? They have such pretty uniforms. Ariel shrugged and stared herself in the mirror.
"I guess this would have to do." Ariel sighed. She didn't find anything too special about, her looks maybe except her eyes, but everything else was a 'whatever' to her. Ariel surely was a really beautiful girl, but no matter how many compliments she gets, she couldn't see herself that way.
Ariel sighed, ushering her book bag over her shoulder, she headed towards the kitchen. "Hey mom!" She waved at her mother who was sitting on the couch waiting for her.
"Hey Ariel. You have everything? You hungry?" Her mother asked.
"A little bit but I will survive." Ariel replied.
"Are you sure because once I lock my door, I lock my door." Her mother said.
"Mom I'm fine." Ariel said.
"Ok well let's go before I have you late." Her mother got up from the couch and moved to the door.
"Mom where's big brother?" Ariel asked in confusion. She hasn't seen her big brother all day since yesterday.
"He's over his girlfriend house." Her mother stated.
Ariel shook her head. How many times did she have to tell him to stop jumping into all of these relationships at one time? An image of a boy popped in her head. 'Yeah right, like I'm the one to talk. I practically ran blindly into a relationship. How foolish can I get?'
A tear ran down Ariel cheek as she looked down at her feet. She followed her mother out the door with her head hung low so she wouldn't see any of her tears leaking from her eyes. She didn't need her mother worrying for her. She already has so much on her mind already. Ariel would feel like a burden to worry her mother with all of her problems. She felt this was something she needed to handle on her own without anyone becoming involved. She hated talking about gushy stuff to her mother. It was weird and worse, it was embarrassing!
Ariel sighed again as she peered out the car window in deep thought. She just hoped this day wouldn't give her too much of a headache.
After what seemed like forever they arrived at the school building. Ariel said a goodbye to her mom before heading inside to the principal office.
"Ahhhh, Miss. Iris, you've finally arrived." The principal called out her last name grabbing the girl attention who was sitting down in a chair waiting patiently for him to address her. Heck it's not like she would complain if they didn't! She could sit here all day and be happy with just that. She wasn't too fond of this school. Wait, she wasn't fond of this school at all! What was she saying?
"Yeah I know. I'm sorry I'm late. I overslept last night because church ended so late. I didn't realize it was so late until me and my mom checked her phone, and that was when we were leaving the church."
"Church is not an excuse, Miss Iris, you have to be on time for school. What's more important church or school? Church will not give you an education, will it?"
Ariel lowered her head and said. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"Good." He said simply, grabbing the pen from his desk, he scribbled his name on a tardy slip, and handed it to Ariel with a smile. "I'm expecting you to be on time for school more Miss. Iris."
"I will." Ariel voiced as the door to the principal office closed behind her departing figure. 'School is more important than church?' Ariel thought in confusion. 'No way that is true. The people in the church helps get the word out to all and turn people to the faith of God. Nothing is more important than him…or at least..not to me. I love God so much..there's just no way I could think like that. Still, if I keep this up, I might fail my school year!'
'I guess I'll have to go to church on a different schedule.' Ariel thought as she neared her class room door. Her heart beat sped up as she looked through the classroom window. She had always dreaded coming to school especially since the people who bullied her was always there for outward entertainment. They would put her into sticky situations, and they knew how to hurt her emotionally, rather than verbally. They knew just what to say to crush her soul and they knew the exact words to do it. She didn't hate them. She felt pity for them and sadness for herself. Why couldn't she be popular like them?
Ariel shook the bad thoughts from her head, bravely twisting the doorknob; she opened the door to her classroom, and stepped in. Everyone paused in their actions and looked up to see the girl enter looking nervous as can be.
She eyed her seat. Someone was sitting in her seat!
"Good morning Miss Iris, I changed around the seating arrangements since your classmate here wants to throw paper balls and books all around the class room. Blame this on them-"
"Nawl, don't blame this on us." A boy cut in interrupting her. The people in her class laughed at his smart remark. His name was pretty simple, Zay, and he was the class clown of the room. He just didn't know when to shut up.
"Uhm excuse me?" His teacher said.
"You're excused." He said back with a smug look earning more giggles from the inmates.
"Chill out. Chill out. It ain't even worth it bruh. You gone get in trouble. You already know how it is in here." One of his flunkies commented.
"You better listen to him Zay. She gone write you up in a heartbeat." Another one of his friends complimented or as they say now 'associates.'
"You better be glad I'm a nice teacher Mr. Collins. You don't get one like me around." His teacher complained, eyeing Zay with an 'I will write you up look.'
"Mannnnnnn." Zay complained. "I'm just going to leave that alone."
"That's the best thing for me to do." Zay said than went back to working.
"Well Miss Iris, I am so sorry for that rude interruption, but you will be sitting by Jayla."
Ariel eyes widen in horror as she stared at the open seat next to the small girl. She liked to fell to her knees and cried. Why was faith so cruel to her? Why did she have to sit by her of all people?
"Why she gotta sit by me? Why can't she sit by Zay? He was the one that be getting into trouble all the time." Ariel eyes gaze at the floor feeling all types of emotions flow within her.
"Girl nawl." Zay dismissed in a rude tone of voice. "I don't want her sitting by me."
The classed laughed as Ariel felt her eye corners become wet and sheer embarrassment swept over her.
"What wrong with her? She must be ugly to you or something?" That sneaky little bi- Ariel stopped herself midsentence before she could think anything out of hand. She knew what she was doing. She was trying to set her up so the class could laugh at her.
"I just don't want her sitting by me. Dang man, do I have to explain everything?!" To her relief Zay didn't embarrass her too much.
"Now that's enough! She is sitting by you whether you like it or not! You better get used to it because you two will be working in groups for a long while!" Her teacher declared.
Ariel slowly walked over to her seat, but when she went to sit down, she fell right on her bottom. The class laughed at her unfortunate accident. The girl had pushed her chair back when Ariel was going to sit in it. Ariel stood up with tears breaming in her eyes.
"Aw see now you made her cry." Her friend beside her said with restraint. It was clear that she was trying to hold back her own laughter.
"Now why y'all had to make the girl go cry. Y'all heartless." The class clown said as he stood up and wrapped the crying girl in a warm tight embrace. The girls look over at them while rolling their eyes.
"Get out!" The teacher shouted.
"Who me?" The girl known as Jayla asked, pointing to herself as if she had no clue what she had done.
"Yes you! Get out! I will not tolerate bullying in my classroom! Get out now before I call security!" The teacher shouted again, glaring holes into the young girls head.
The young girl got up from her seat, stomped over to the door, and slammed the door shut behind her shaking the entire classroom. This only fueled the teachers anger even more as she walked fast out the door to address the seething girl.
"You got!" A girl called from her seat.
"Wait until we get to into those locker rooms!" Another one of the girl friend said.
"Y'all aint go do nothing." The class clown along with a few other boys said. The girls side was silent. None of them stood up for her because mostly all of them wanted to see a fight go down.
"Who ain't?" The girl looked at him bugged eye. "That's my little cousin and she failing too. Ion care how she feeling. I swear to God man. Just wait." She made gestures with her fist.
"You need to be quiet and sit down somewhere. You ain't gone do nun." A boy steeped in licking his lips as he said it.
"Alright. I won't." The girl nodded her head crazily.
"Ariel come here sweety!" The teacher called out from outside the door. Ariel sniffled as she released the boy grip and stepped out into the hallway. Her eyes had were watery and her nose was turning a red color.
"Jayla here have something to say to you."
"I'm sorry." Jayla said bluntly.
"Now you can do better than that." Her teacher scolded her.
"I'm sorry for calling you out. I didn't mean to make you cry. I was just playing with you. I always do, you just take it the wrong way sometimes." Jayla confessed sounded truthful to her teacher, but Ariel could spot the hidden deceit in her voice.
"Now give her a hug." She gave Ariel a full blown hug. Ariel wished that one day this could be a real hug from her, but she was more concerned with what those girls would do to her in the locker.
"I don't want to see any more out of you two, okay Jayla?"
Jayla nod her her and said. " We won't get into any more trouble with each other. Dang! Can I go take my seat now?"
"Yeah." When she saw Ariel entering the classroom she stopped her. "I'm not finished talking with you yet."
"If they do anything to hurt your feeling tell me, okay? I will deal with them and we will get this all settled out and they would no longer mess with you." Her teacher eyes her in all seriousness. "Would you like me to contact your mother about this?"
"NO!" Ariel almost shouted. "I mean no." She calmed herself. "I'm a young woman. I can handle it on my own." If she told her mother what was happening in school it would be worse of a look on Ariel.
"I know the school policy says I am to call a guardian for something as serious as this, but since you're such a special girl to me, I won't do it for the sake of you. I know how it feels to be pressured into these types of situations. Believe me, I've been there."
"You mean you?" Ariel eyes widen as her teach nod her head. "That's right. I've been there and done that. I actually was a bully myself." Ariel eyes widen even more. She could never imagine anyone as sweet as her teacher to be a bully. "But that was before I was put into my place. I mainly bullied people because my home life wasn't so great so I took it out on this one girl who reminded me so much of my mother who had died."
"I hated her..because she reminded me of how much I hated my mother the day she died. She had left me all alone with an abusing father, and he raised me to be cold hearted, and I eventually became what he always yearned for in me."
"I was hate full, cruel, only thought of my own self, and shun others. I kept picking and picking with the same girl each and every day. Than one day something happened that changed my life forever, she stood up to me. Her words stung because her words were true. She had told me whatever grudge I have with my family I shouldn't take it out on here. She called me all the mean names that I have in the past and she cursed my life, hoping I got what I deserve, and I did, I really, really did." Her teacher eyes started watering. "I had changed as I grew up, having to fall in love with my husband, he was everything I've ever asked for. Everything seemed to be going according to planned, but we tried and tried for a baby and we just couldn't-" The teacher bit her lip. "We couldn't have a child because I was sterile."
Ariel gasp at this. "It hurt me so much that I couldn't have a child in the way normal people do with their husband. It hurt me so badly to know I could never have children than the unexpected happened, he left me!"
"He left me all along after I we decided to adopt our own child. I still call him today and he never picks up his phone! I just want to know why he left me but he never told me anything. He just said he didn't won't to be with me anymore."
"We got a divorce to my embarrassment. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't meet with any of my family members for an entire month. I cut off all of their calls and text."
"When they would come over, I wouldn't answer the door. I just couldn't see any of them. I felt hurt within my bones and I still do, I really do. I had learned a very eye catching lesson. Never mess with a girl if she curses your life to hell."
"Did you really…hate your mother because of all this?" Ariel breathe out, astonished that her teacher would be so open with one of her student, with her nonetheless.
"No. I really love my mother. I was just incredibly sad about her lose and I felt emotionally pissed at the world. I'm sorry I'm telling you all of this, I just wanted you to know that maybe the girls bully you because their home life is not so great as yours."
'Or maybe they bully me because they have nothing better to do with their life.' Ariel thought but never dared to say it out loud.
"It still doesn't make the incident all the better, but I just wanted you to know that maybe they need a little guidance, and for someone to change them like my husband did to me." Her teacher smiled a sad smile at her. "So dry those tears girl! Life is too short to waste it on some naïve little girls, okay?"
"Okay." Ariel brushes the tears away with her fore arm. "I hope your husband come around."
"Ex-husband." Her teacher corrected.
"Huh?" Ariel tilted her head to the side.
"You mean ex-husband. I'm no longer with him so ex husband." Her teacher said.
"Uhm okay." Ariel felt a little awkard after her teacher shared such personal insight with her. It made her feel a little closer to her and that made Ariel smile through her now drying face.
After they talked a little more Ariel walked back into the classroom and took notes at her teachers teaching. It was the end of class when the bell ring and she felt something fit her on the back. She turned around to see a crumbled paper on the floor, unfolding it, her eyes widen in horror.
Two words in red traced along the paper.
You got.
She let out a breath of air she didn't know she was holding and quickly ripped up the paper and threw it in the nearby trash bin. Her heart was beating so fast! What do she do now? Were they planning on jumping her in the locker room? There were so many terrifying possibilities for the timid girl.
She walked fast to her next class room and sat down. She thanked the heavens that at least one of her class rooms wasn't filled with a bunch of scar meanies! She went through each class until it was time for lunch time.
She grabbed a tray from the cafeteria lady, she took in the scent of the heavenly crust that was on the pizza. Cafeteria food wasn't the best, but It sure tasted mighty good when you was really hungry! Ariel hasn't had anything to eat all day and felt like she was starving so she was thankful that they were serving her all-time favorite cafeteria junk food.
"Ariel!" Her friends called out to her. She saw them wave over to her and with a smile, she went and sat beside them.
"Hey guys!" Ariel said to all her friends. She had a good fair amount of friends. Ariel was actually quite popular, surprise, yes, she actually had some popular friends, but she didn't have too many popular friends like the other girls. Ariel was more in the middle class. She wasn't lame but hanging with her "lame" friends made her lame. It was also her that she was so sensitive. I mean the girl could be a flower sometimes, but in certain classes, she has some popular people respect, because well they don't see her act all sensitive. She actually has a wild side to her, but its only so rare that you see that come out of the girl.
"Did you get your hair done? You look gorg today! I mean you look gorgeous everyday but today you look kinda different." Ariel friend complimented. Her name was Kaylee, she was really, really, energetic, and she's really friendly. She's known for twerking, something Ariel would never do, not even in a million years, but her friend Kaylee could get almost any boy if she wanted. She was the typical blonde. Warm colored hair, high energy, and a wild nature. Ariel didn't want to judge her, but she learned to stay away from Kaylee when it came to any types of parties. Kaylee could be reckless sometimes. Ariel never dared to go to a party by her. She still loved her friend though despite this.
"No I didn't get my hair done. I put my hair in a regular pony tail." Ariel said, giving her a smile.
"Girl that pony tail is laid." Her other friend known as Katy Lee commented as they all laughed together in unison.
"So, what's been going on with you, you've being so late to school and all." A girl with brunette hair leaned over to hear her friend excuse this time.
Ariel groaned. "Guys it's the same as the last. I have church and its really been putting me on a set back in school since I don't get as much sleep as I need to."
"You don't have to go to church, you know? As long as you have a Bible and the Lord than you don't need nothing else!" Kaylee preached. The girls clapped on and said. "Girl preach."
Ariel giggled. "You guys are so funny but I'm the lead singer now!" Ariel squealed in excitement. "I finally stepped up and stopped being so shy all the time!"
There were mutters of' about time' and 'I'm so proud of you.'
"Thank you guys! It means so much to see everyone supporting me." Ariel sent them all a blazing smile.
"You know us a nickel for a nickel." The prettiest girl she had ever seen said. She had light blonde hair but it was so light blonde that it actually appeared to be a clear white color. Her hair was thin and her face was curved adding on to her beauty was her wondrous big brown/gray eyes. She was stunning every time she laid eyes on her.
"Aww guys thank you." Ariel thanked them.
After lunch ended it was time for gym and Ariel heart was thumping so loudly in her chest. None of her friends took gym with her! She had no one to back her up, but then she scolded herself for that thought, what a pity she is to think something like that?
Ariel gulped as she entered the gym room. It's better to get this all over with than dwell on it now. She sat down on the gym bleachers and looked at her gym teacher, but in the back of her head, she was crying tears.
"Alright so girls today we will-"
Ariel didn't even want to hear. She didn't want to face the wrath that would await her. Heck, she didn't even know how to fight! Or at least not that good. Her mother didn't raise her to be a fighter, only her brothers knew how to fight, she didn't have any experience in fighting what so ever! The only thing she knew was to punch.
"Walk the bleachers." Ariel blinked. Walked the what? Did she hear wrong?
"You can change into your gym clothes or you can stay in them. This week that's all we will do until I say so." There were groans from the students.
"Can we play basketball?" A girl shouted out. She already was pouring in seat and she didn't even play basketball yet. I mean seriously, can this gym get any hotter?
"Yes but if you're not going to do anything you have to walk up and down the bleachers or walk around the side of the court. Your pick."
Followed after was the sound was an abundance of shoes hitting the gym floor. My heart rate had come down tons since hearing her declaration. She thanked God that today was the week she didn't have to do simple exercises like pushups or pull ups. It would have been disastrous.
"Your still got." She heard a voice whisper from behind and turned around to see all four of the girls behind her with their hands on their hips.
"You want to know why no boys want to go with you? Because your ugly, unpopular, and you have no father to raise you to fight. It's too bad that he's dead and gone, don't chu think?" The girl laughed in front of her as the three girl joined in on the quarrel.
"I would feel bad for you, but I won't, because you think you're so pretty!" The girl rolled her eyes at Ariel tears. "Please girl bye."
She dismissed Ariel, bumping into her shoulder as she left, leaving behind a torn Ariel.
'You stupid girl! She just insulted your dead father and you do nothing about it! You're so weak and useless! I hate you! Who are you and why are you so weak? You're so angry yet you can't do anything about it! Stupid girl, you're stupid, ugly, and unpopular, no one would ever want you! Not even him! Not even the one you love!'
Ariel felt that all too familiar stinging sensation in her heart. It felt like tiny pin needles stabbing her over and over again. Her knees felt weak and it felt so hard to stand up. Ariel took her last chance before breaking down and darted out the gym to the bathroom. Once she got there, she broke down on her hands and knees. She couldn't contain the pain anymore, she let it all out. Gripping at her heart, Ariel thought up all the negative things to throw against herself, calling her every name in the book.
Ariel spent the rest of the period caged up in a stall silently crying her tears away. When the bell rung for the end of the period she did an over look at her face and grimaced. Her face was really red and her tears were still glassy from all of the endless crying. Somehow, she still managed to look beautiful even though she spent almost an hour crying.
She dabbed her face with cold water. For some reason cold water always made her face calm down. It didn't do too much since she had light skin, but it sure was better than she was looking. She waited until her face came back to its normal color.
'My eyes still look glassy but it'll be okay for now.' Ariel thought.
She went to her next class and her heartbeat stopped for a moment at what she saw. There was the man she loved. He was speaking to her teacher about something. They both were smiling so she assumed it must be something really good. His smile was so..show stopping. So wide, so bright, so vibrant, and oh God his eyes when he smiled, it had a little twinkle added to them. He was the most handsome boy she had ever seen in her entire life. Ariel blushed. 'No, no, no! You're supposed to forget about him! You're supposed to hate him!'
'Or maybe you should talk to him and tell him that you are in love with him stupid! But why would he return your feelings? I mean your ugly and unpopular right? There's no way someone as popular as him would want you! You will never be with him so just give it up!'
And if on cue, a girl came up from behind and wrapped her arms around his back, he looked back at her with a smile and said. "Hey girl!"
He turned around and wrapped his arms around her waist. Ariel looked on at the embracing couple, sulking as they continued to embrace each other, and with anger she didn't know she possessed, she stalked over towards them.
As if they knew she was coming, they both looked her way with wide eyes. Ariel was very confused wondering why were given her that expression.
The boy smiled at her, making her heart skip a beat, she literally couldn't even move anyone, nor could she speak to the boy.
"Heyyyyy Ariel!" He smiled at her.
"Hello…" Ariel greeted shyly.
"Sooo, how are you doing? Your eyes look a little watery." The boy asked, looking at her with something Ariel couldn't place. Was that..worry and care? Ariel was always good at reading people, but she wasn't sure with him. I mean a boy this good lucking, seriously, why would he lower himself to her level?
"I'm fine..and really? That's interesting.." Ariel trailed on softly. She didn't want to tell him a lie. Her heart would suffer in guilt if she does lie to someone like him. He was so nice and kind, such a sweet little fellow.
"So how are you doing?" Ariel bravely asked.
"I'm fine. Is this your classroom?" He asked, tilting his head. Ariel blushed, turning her head away from him, she said." Yes this is my class."
"I bet you're really smart since you're already so pretty!" The girl below him smacked him on top of the head and glared up at him. Meanwhile, Ariel brain was going in an overload. Can not compute. Can not compute. Shutting down in five, four, three, two…and one.
The boy looked over at her in mild concern. "Ariel." He poked at her shoulder but she wouldn't budge. "Ariel, are you okay?"
His touch brought her back to life and with almost visible stars in her eyes she looked up at him with so much love in her eyes that it made him stagger back. "Ariel…" He choked out. Her gaze..it was almost like she..
"I'm sorry." Ariel said.
"For what?" He was confused. What did she have to apologize to him for?
"For not telling you something that I should have told you a long time ago." Ariel said in a breathily voice.
"What, what do you mean?" He breathes out feeling a little anxious inside of what that might be. He had a bad feeling about this.
Ariel grabbed his hand much to his surprise. She liked the feel of his hand. It was so tender and almost fit perfectly in her small petite hands. She pulled away from the annoying girl and faced him dead on.
"It's been stressing me out a lot, and I just wanted to tell you that, I love you." It came out so smooth when she said the 'I love you.' part. She was surprised by his reaction. He didn't even seem the least bit shock. It's as if he already knew!
"Uhm." He breathes out a breath of air. "Your cool and all but…" She knew from the 'but' it was all over for her. Her eyes begin to water. "But I already have a girlfriend."
Ariel wasn't shocked by this. She knew he liked to toy around, but this must mean that he's really serious about this girl. Ariel searched his eyes for any sigh of love, care, anything, any kind of emotion, but she found none. It was as if he was blocking her from reading his eyes. Ariel gave up and looked down and a sigh. "Oh." In a very low voice. It was the softest voice he'd ever heard, he could tell he broke the girl in half, so when she walked away he called out. "But we can still be friends!"
Ariel shook her head. What a bad decision for him to make. Doesn't he know that that would only cause problems and Ariel didn't want to be his friend, she wanted to be his lover! It was so confusing that he rejected her, but it was even more confusing of why she wasn't crying yet. Have Ariel became so sadden that she couldn't even cry anymore? Oh wait no.. A small tear slowly slid from her eye. She couldn't answer him back. She didn't want to..she was too hurt..her heart felt floored..her knees felt weak.
'Why God, why! I had prayed to you! In the Bible it said if you ask you shall receive! I believed with all my heart we would be together so why did this have to happen! I don't understand! I thought I was the one for him! I thought I would be the one darn it! I hate this feeling! I hate feeling like this! Why does my like suck so much! I hate me! I'm so stupid! No wonder he didn't like me! All the sighs that led to us being a couple was a deceit! I should have listened to the voice in the back of my head! I should have now I'm stuck in my thoughts wondering what went wrong!' An endless amount of tears flew from Ariel eyes. She made sure to wipe them all before she came into the classroom. This was her favorite homeroom and yet she felt so weak, so, so very weak.
At the end of the day Ariel went home and cried herself to sleep. When she woke up it was night time and she pulled out her diary from under her pillow. She unlocked the key to her heart and unclasped the diary. All kinds of wild thoughts ran through her head. Her tears hit the blank sheets of her diary pages, she had to turn a few more sheets because of the tears staining through the see through sheets.
Dear Diary,
My life took a turn for the worse today. Today is one of the worse days of my life. No, I've had so many bad days that I don't know which one to pick as the worse day, but this has to be the most bumming day so far in months. Those stupid girls were bullying me again..and worse of all I confessed my feelings to him today, yeah, him the one I love, Keith. I should hate him and yet.." Ariel tears stained the word 'hate.' I wanted to forget him, but he stayed in my mind, in my dreams, I didn't listen to the voice that told me I would never be with him. I feel even more stupid than earlier. He didn't really think I was cool. He probably thought I was another lame, heh even though I am, I'm so stupid. I love him God.. I love him so much with all my heart. How could you do this to me? I prayed and prayed and I have not received! What kind of lie have you been feeding me? Ariel broke down even more. Oh, I'm so sorry for saying things like that about you. It's not your fault that the one I love doesn't love me. I guess the memory of us will always be buried into the past…but what do I do now?
Ariel closed her diary and flipped over on her back to stare up at the celling. "I hate my life. Sometimes I wish I would just die but I'm too much of a coward to do it anyways. Plus, how selfish would I be to leave my family behind, and I want to be with God in heaven. I want to see him one day because I love him. Like I loved Keith.." At that thout Ariel drowned herself in never ceasing painful tears.
She opened her song book and wrote down a few more lines of her unfinished song.
And I pray for forgiveness, look for the answers
Cuz it's hard for me to pretend
Look to my mother, call to the captain
Can't you see this state that I'm in
And no one would know this, nobody noticed
Cuz it's me where it begins
So did you guys like the chapter? I probably won't be showing much of her school life! Well if you guys don't want me to I can loop it around somehow. Btw that love confession is pretty much what I've been through, though Ariel situation is a bit different from mines, so she's more..how do I say it? The scene is different from my confession (irl) I tried to make Ariel feel the way I felt when confessing to the boy that I had love. (Who I don't love anymore and yet my mind seems still linger on him for some odd reason. My heart doesn't respond anymore, but my mind must still be in love with this boy.) And yes, he is the most handsome boy I've ever seen. So I'm letting you guys into my world. The whole incident with the girls is false. It didn't happen to me, but I have gotten bullied before, stupid jealous girls! And how about that witch decided to tell me she made my life a living hell. She did but I didn't let her get the better of me. I looked at her like she was crazy. Just to tell everyone, I've grown up, and I'm not the same girl I used to be! I am proud of how far I came in life!
Anyways thank you for reading ladies and gents. My utmost apologies for keeping you waiting for like two whole weeks, but school has got the better of me.
Honestly, when i look back at it, i don't like how this chapter came out. There are a few errors i need to fix in this chapter.