CHAPTER 2

Disclaimer:Do not own Castle. The frustrating and brilliant A. Marlowe does.

Last time:

Rick had tears streaming down his face as finished the letter. Montgomery knew him too well. He would likely remember the dedication for his first Nikki Heat book for the rest of his life.

To the extraordinary KB and my friends at the twelfth.

Looking at his watch, he noted that nearly half an hour had passed. Quickly, he reassembled the package and put in his safe and entered the shower. After changing he joined his daughter and mother for lunch, the events of today running through his mind.

Four Months Later

Katherine Beckett walked through the doors of the twelfth precinct, her home away from home for years. The last four months had been painful to say the least. Therapy and very little physical activity was hellish for a woman who had spent almost two decades of her life active on the streets of New York. It had been a hard decision staying away from the city and her friends, but she needed to sort herself out. Seclusion was the best course of action she could decide on. Never mind the little fact that she did not want Rick to see as she was, weakened, pale and far removed from the image of the beautiful, confident detective that he had of her. Plus, the presence of Josh by her side had done little to calm her nerves.

Her relationship with Josh was characterized by the fact that she had looked at him purely as the safer option. He was little more than a warm body to come home to. But he sounded like heaven when compared to the alternative. Kate was an intensely private and closeted person. The reason Josh and she got along so well because he only got to see the outer layer of the onion. He only saw the smart, sexy, confident and successful detective who kicked criminal ass. The fact that he remained out of the country was easy to deal with since it afforded Kate the opportunity to keep one leg out of the door.

It was not the case anymore.

In the last four months, she was sure that Josh had seen glimpses of the real, broken Katherine Beckett. The same Kate that was entirely fixated on her mother's murder. The same Kate that never let anybody into her heart at all. It was inevitable after living in with him in close quarters for four months. He had seen how she truly was, and it had gotten him a little exasperated. The guy had gotten frustrated with her mood swings in only three months. The hope for a future with Josh, which had been burgeoning in her heart after the dirty bomb case was slowly, but surely dying a certain death.

Castle, on the other hand had put up with it for three years. He had peeled off many layers of the Beckett onion. He had seen Kate at her most vulnerable and at her lowest. That notwithstanding, he kept coming back for more. But Kate was not ready for any kind of relationship with Richard Castle. Her own innate fear and his playboy tendencies had her fleeing from any kind of emotional attachment from him. Hence, last year she had consented to date Tom at the drop of a hat, just to ward Castle off. She had been very close to revealing her fledgling feelings to him when he had invited her to his Hampton's gateway. The appearance of Gina had come close to breaking her and she had immediately resolved to hold him at a distance after that.

Nevertheless, Castle had become a constant in her life and still had made a place in her heart. Watching him with Alexis, Martha and people close to him attracted him to her on so many levels. During the phase in the freezer she had come close to revealing her feelings once more. But she had again chickened out, partly due to Josh and partly due to her own reluctance to let him get close to her.

His pleas to her in the hospital still reverberated in her ears. But in her mind, it was better to hold him at arm's length than to suffer from a broken heart. Hence, she had not contacted him in four months and boxed away any feelings related to him away into a tiny corner of her heart. Besides, he would still be at her side. It was selfish of her of him to want him by her side. But he had promised her.

Katherine Beckett had no idea of the shock she was going to receive in a few moments.

She walked through the doors of the elevator into the homicide floor. The bullpen was abuzz with activity. Once her presence had been registered, applause rang through. After all, Kate Beckett, the best homicide detective in the twelfth had returned into the fold.

She nodded, smiling and shaking hands. After all the noise had died down, she made a beeline for her desk. She saw Ryan and Esposito smiling at her, but on second thoughts, the smiles looked a little forced. Her forehead wrinkled.

"Hey Guys."

They stood and gave her massive hugs. She couldn't help but hug them back tightly even as she winced from the stitches. Four months away included them too. After a few moments, she let go off Ryan and stood back.

"So what's going on? How're things, and what about the sniper?"

She looked around.

"And where's Castle?"

Ryan and Esposito's expressions darkened for a moment and the smiles disappeared as they sat down heavily. Leaning across the desk, Esposito ran a frustrated hand across his face as he considered how to best answer Beckett. There was a lot at stake here.

"Look girl, first of all you have to know that things have changed here, a lot. The new Captain, Victoria Gates doesn't tolerate outsiders well. She is a complete 'by-the-book'. Castle was here day and night, investigating your case but after Iron Gates came in, she threw him out straightaway. The guy didn't even protest, no calls to the Mayor or the Commissioner this time. He gave me the files on your case and left, like he had just given up."

Esposito took a long breath while Ryan took up the narrative, his expression no less miserable. All the while, Kate's visage was blank. She was waiting for the worst to come.

"This was about two months ago. The next thing we hear, the guy's next Nikki Heat comes out, stating that it's the final one of the series. The guy had even set up a hefty trust fund for Evelyn and Montgomery's daughters. And there's a ten million donation to the precinct's fund from an 'anonymous donor'."

Ryan's fingers made air quotes here. "Like we couldn't tell. Then a few days ago - about a week or so - we went to meet him, asking the guy to explain and he said that he was done here. Something about 'too much to bear', 'tired of being a hanger-on' and 'the last straw'. Then he said that he got a call from his publishers about a three book deal about a certain British spy and about Nikki going into hibernation. That's all we could get out of him before he hurried off to fetch Alexis from school. We haven't seen him since."

Kate's expression had crumpled upon itself and she sagged in her chair. An intense pain coiled around her, constricting her heart. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think and couldn't feel at all. This was almost as bad as her mother's death and nothing compared to the shooting. Castle was leaving. The one constant in her life, the one she depended on for most of the last three years was leaving. It was not the flimsy excuse for parting after their second year. This time, it was all too real, all too permanent and was staring her in the face.

He kept his promises, she knew he did. And he had promised her always. But this time, it was her that had broken her promise of calling him. She knew it was her fault. Apparently after a four month hiatus, it had proved too much for him.

She took a deep shuddering breath while trying to piece herself together.

Her feelings for him had festering through the years, from the day she had met him. He knew too much of her, all her secrets, all her tells, everything. There was a reason Nikki Heat resembled her so much. And she knew, that if she gave into him, she would have to dive in with all she was. And she had been scared of that.

She knew that he loved her. It was plainly visible in his actions, his eyes and in the small gestures he made towards her. And what had she done? She had repelled all his advances without a second thought. She had flaunted her boyfriends in front of him. She had graced him with the harshest words he could, all because of a few moments of hot headed anger. She remembered the words they had thrown at each other before Montgomery's shooting.

You hide behind relationships with men you don't love…You know what Castle, we are done here. Get out.

Well, he was getting out. Exactly as she had told him too. Gina, Will, Tom and now Josh were all small blips on the radar now, with the possibility of him being a bygone in her life.

Ryan's voice broke through her pain.

"He has a book signing today, the last one of the series here. If you want to meet him, it's at the main Barnes and Noble, a few blocks away from here."

Kate was out of her chair and sprinting into the captain's office even before Ryan had finished speaking. Fuck Josh and the world and her insecurities. She had to meet him, and now. She could not afford not to.

A.N: Thank you for the reviews and the favs and follows. There was this particular reviewer who gave me a glowing review and in doing so, ran away with the story's plot. Thanks, 'Arya's Prayers' but I'll thank you even more not to spoil the suspense. Hehe. Additionally, this fic is more about the emotions and feelings between Caskett with a little plot to make it believable. So please do not expect much regarding Johanna's case. Much of it is gonna be behind the scenes, and i'll add some snippets to make sure it seamlessly blends into the timeline i'm working within.

But yes, if Montgomery's letter was original, then please feel free to thank me all you want. Hehe.

Sincerely,

Lust of Alucard