Title: The Pitfalls of Seduction
Pairing: Shikamaru x Ino

Summary: In which Shikamaru is oblivious, and Ino is irritated. Blackmail pictures included.

Notes: Sequel to And Fortune Smiles. Please read that—and review, yes?—to get a better idea of the backstory.

Author's Notes: Chapter II, hot and spicy! Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: No matter how many times I wish for it…nope, not mine.

Ino glared balefully at the two eager pairs of eyes across from her. Sakura's damned smirk hadn't dropped for even a moment. Tenten wasn't doing much better.

Hinata, ever the pacifist, decided to intervene before too much blood was shed.

"Ino-chan…I think, what Sakura-chan is trying to ask is, are you…do you find…that is…"

Tenten decided to take pity on her.

"Look, Ino. It's a simple question: do you want the man, or don't you?"

She made an odd sort of choking sound, and flailed her arms wildly. Around them, the rest of the patrons began to whisper.

Sakura quirked a brow.

"Well?" she asked, fairly drawling out the syllable.

Ino exploded.

"No, I don't like him! That's a stupid question to ask!" She threw her thoroughly crumpled napkin on the table and huffed in frustration. "If that's all this was about, then I'm leaving!" She'd taken only three steps before Sakura's voice stopped her again.

"My, my, Tenten-chan. Did you know that Shikamaru's tongue could do that? I certainly didn't."

"Indeed, Sakura-chan. Whoever that blonde wrapped around him is, she's one lucky—"

"Um…is that Temari-san?"

That was the final straw. Quicker than the girls could blink, Ino was there again. She grabbed the pictures and frantically flipped through them, eyes widening to a state of confusion, and then mounting horror, when she finally realized what—or, more importantly, who­—she was seeing. After a few tense moments of silence, she bowed her head until her bangs covered her eyes. A shadow seemed to have settled on her delicate features.

"Sakura. When. Did. You. Take. These." Her voice was low, and dangerous. If she were any other girl, Sakura might have been scared. Instead, the medic-nin just smiled slyly and waved the pictures tauntingly.

"Oh, those old things?" She smiled, sugar-coated poison on glossy pink lips. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Predictably, Ino released a low growl before she started to tear them up. In her frazzled state, she wondered why Sakura wasn't stopping her, when another, more horrifying thought, hit her.

"You have copies, don't you?" she asked, voice devoid of any emotion. Her blue eyes were starting to glaze over, and Hinata gently sat her down on her previous seat. It was good timing. Her knees buckled just as she reached the chair. The blonde mentally ran through her list of options.

I guess I could just tell them…I mean, they are my best girlfriends…but ugh, Sakura's unbearable when she's right about something, and she's been going on about Shikamaru and I for the better part of five years. Not something I'm looking forward to dealing with.

She shook her head. No, honestly, in this case, was not the best policy.

I could deny it! Sakura has no proof—well, besides those pictures!—and we were all drinking that night! It's not like anyone wouldn't believe me if I said I'd had one too many.

Right. Her mind was made up.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Hinata had to admire Ino. Not very many women could sound that dignified when faced with incriminating pictures of herself in various acrobatic positions—sans leotards—with their childhood friends.

"Really now? All right, then. I'm sure you wouldn't mind if we put this little collection up on the Wall, right? After all, practically everyone's been on it. Even Sasuke-kun had his fifteen minutes of fame. And seeing as how there's absolutely nothing between you and Shikamaru-kun, we can all just laugh about it. Right, Ino-chan?"

The Hokage Wall of Shame was a recent addition to the Godaime's office. As the name implied, it was a section of the wall, dedicated to showcasing Konoha's finest in some of their…less intimidating moments. It had become something of a game to the Konoha nin. The "offenses" displayed were given point rankings according to a predetermined scale of mortification. At the end of the month, the ninja with the lowest point value had to buy the first round of drinks at the next big party. Considering the number of jounin alone…well, it wasn't fun to lose. Ino mentally thought back to the prior "awards."

There was a picture of Naruto—twenty years-old and headed for the ANBU Captain slot—clad in fox-footie pajamas, blearily rubbing his eyes and blinking dazedly at a no-doubt smirking Sasuke, who'd wanted the honor of tacking on the first "kill" to the wall. When confronted with his picture, the affable blond had merely smiled bashfully. After, of course, he'd tried—and nearly succeeded, much to the ire of the Uchiha—to skewer the photographer with a few kunai.

Then, there'd been a picture of Kiba, sprawled on his bed, hand clutching one of the paws of a blue, stuffed puppy. Kiba had gaped for a few moments before angrily demanding to know the identity of the culprit.

The girls hadn't been left alone either. Kurenai-senpai had been livid after her graduating picture from her academy days had been posted. Gone was the sensual, voluptuous woman that the Rookie Nine knew. In her place, was a gangly girl of about eleven years old, complete with thick glasses, and an awkward smile.

Asuma-sensei had yet to let it go.

Sakura really was the devil. Ino wondered how they'd all missed it for so many years.

She gave a groan of surrender, and relaxed all of her previously tense muscles until she was little more than a pile of blonde, kunoichi goo.

"What do you want Sakura? A new kimono? A shopping spree? My soul?"

Something in her best friend's eyes softened.

"I just want you to give this a chance, Ino-chan. Let him make you happy."

Well, damn. It was rather hard to be upset when she put it that way. Then, the softness was gone, replaced by a mischievous look Ino was beginning to know all too well.

"And who knows? Maybe your babies will get lucky and take after him."

A muffled growl of rage was heard before Ino finally launched herself at her laughing best friends. Tenten groaned and leapt out of the way, just before her friend's manicured nails came into contact with her cheek.

Hinata sighed slightly. Well, Tsunade-sensei had wanted her to practice her medic-skills…

Outside the cafe, Naruto paused. Ino looked pretty angry. Should he be on hand in case she— or one of the other kunoichi—got out of control? The other customers already looked scared…

Then, he heard an inhumane screech, and shook his head.

No way in hell was he going to get in the middle of a cat-fight.

After all, he may have been stupid, but he wasn't suicidal.

Shikamaru smiled.

It was a beautiful day, he was on break, and there was no Ino telling him to get up and do something useful, damn you!

No, it didn't get much better than this.

"Oi! Shikamaru!"

The head-tactician groaned at the interruption, and turned his head toward the source.

Uzumaki Naruto.

He watched through lidded eyes as his friend huffed, arm gripping a nearby tree for balance.

"Breathe, Naruto."

He complied, before trying to talk again.

"…did…you do some…thing...to…Ino?"

"Huh? What about that troublesome woman?"

"She…Sakura…café…claws…"

He merely quirked a brow and shrugged. Long ago, he'd called girls a nuisance because they yelled too loudly and smelled like fruits. Now, fifteen years later, he hadn't changed his opinion, merely refined it. They were still nuisances, and they still yelled…

Unfortunately, everything else had changed. They still smelled funny—differently he amended—but now, strawberry-scented shampoo made his head go fuzzy, instead of making him want to vomit the way it used to. Unbidden, a picture of his blonde, former teammate rose in his mind.

Ino…

"…ne, Shikamaru? Shikamaru?"

He smacked the hand that had been poking his cheek away.

"I'm here, Naruto."

The blond huffed.

"Yeah, you are here," he said, pointing to the ground beneath them. "But," he stated, mouth set in a stubborn line, "you're not here," referring to his own head.

"Troublesome," he muttered, not really referring to this particular loudmouth.

The damage had been minmal.

Five chairs, three glasses and two forks—courtesy of an irate weapons mistress—and Ino and Sakura were friends again. The owner had quickly forgiven his three patrons when he saw the small crowd of men that had accumulated, watching the fighting kunoichi, rapt with attention.

Almost as though there had been mud involved.

Before Hinata had healed them, the pink-haired kunoichi sported a few cuts across her cheek, and Ino had a few finger-shaped bruises to complement the one growing beautifully on her forehead. After thanking the Hyuuga heiress, the four friends settled back to hear Ino's final decision. Sakura had barely sat down before Ino began to speak.

"Fine, Sakura-chan. One date. Only because I don't want Shikamaru and I embarrassed over this." She paused, and then continued at the gleam in her friend's eyes, clearly remembering their earlier conversation. "And I'm not going to ask him, either." She crossed her arms in front of her.

"A girl's got to have her pride, after all."

Hinata spoke up, which almost surprised them all.

"But, Ino-chan…we can't exactly go up to Shikamaru-san and demand he date you…he'll know something's going on…"

Ino's eye twitched as she mentally cursed the astuteness of her best male friend.

Just a friend, dammit! No matter what those stupid pictures said!

"So what am I supposed to do?"

Then, Tenten and Sakura smiled, identical Cheshire cat smiles.

"Easy. Seduce him."

And so, we begin. I'm excited.

Sorry this was so late. School actually tried to make me work. How silly is that? Hope you enjoyed this installment! Keep your eyes out for the next one.

I hope everyone had a good holiday.

That, and that everyone's getting their alerts and reviews again.

Speaking of, please do review. :DD