Oh my gosh, you guys. It's been so long since I first published this story, and I haven't updated it at all! I'm going to blame it on the fact that I'm a senior and need to concentrate on my studies; or else I'm screwed come May. Yeah…That sounds good.

Summary: Young Denzel is becoming a man, and he still hasn't had "The Talk". Oh, what's an adoptive mother to do?

Disclaimer: All I own is an unhealthy obsession over Vincent.

Chapter 2: Birthday (Part Two)

Tifa grumbled and knitted her eyebrows together. She had finally gotten some well-deserved rest, and some foul odor was bringing her out of it. She cracked her eyes open and saw Cloud dangling a sock in front of her face. She squeaked and scooted away from it.

"I told you that would wake her up. I think you need to see a doctor, man. Your feet aren't supposed to smell that bad." Cloud commented, tossing the sock back to Barret.

"Aw, shuddup." Barret muttered, putting it back on. Tifa suddenly became aware of where she was, and found herself on the floor of the 7th Heaven, with everyone back from their errands.

"What time is it?" She gasped, looking around desperately for a clock. She knew it had to almost be time for Denzel's party. Cid glanced at his watch.

"'Bout 15 minutes till the party starts." He answered.

"Shut up! Is everything set up? The food? The games? A decent cake?" Tifa panicked, just short of hyperventilating.

"Calm down, Teef. We took care of everything. We're not all that hopeless, you know." Cloud chided jokingly.

"Are Denzel and Marlene back yet?"

"Um…"

So began a desperate hunt for Denzel and Marlene.

"Cloud, I can't believe you forgot about the kids!" Tifa shrieked over the rushing wind as she and Cloud sped through Edge on the Fenrir. The gang split up to search high and low for the kids.

"I didn't really forget, I just figured they'd wander back…" Cloud answered over his shoulder. Tifa resisted the urge to give him the Mother of all Purple Nurples. Her mother always warned her about guys like him… That and not to whistle while under water.

"Marlene and I are going to the park to meet some friends. Is that alright, Tifa?"

"Oh my gosh, Cloud, I know where they are! Go to the park!" Tifa ordered, wondering why she couldn't remember something so simple. Cloud glanced over his shoulder at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Tifa, I hardly think this is the time to play…" He stated. Tifa narrowed her eyes at him and poked his side.

"No, you dork. Denzel said they were going to meet some friends there." She replied.

"Ah." Cloud understood, turning the Fenrir so suddenly down a side road that Tifa was almost flung from it. The temporary fear of becoming a smear on the road was gone and replaced by fear for Denzel and Marlene. She had reminded them to be back for the party, so why hadn't they at least made their way back to the 7th Heaven? Oh, what if they were kidnapped?

'Not now, Tifa.' She told herself, forcing those unpleasant thoughts to the back of her head. They wouldn't get in trouble, not her kids. Denzel was a very competent kid who could handle himself. Until he got into trouble. Oh boy…

"Yuffie, I highly doubt the children are here." Vincent drawled, standing behind the young ninja as she scanned the candy on the shelves. Naturally, her inner child suggested the candy store would be the most likely place for a child to be.

"You never know, Vince. Kids are hopelessly drawn to sugar." Yuffie stated matter-of-factly.

"You would know." Vincent muttered to himself, silently wishing he had gone with Red instead.

"Did you say something, Vincent?" Yuffie asked sweetly, turning around to look at him, a throbbing vein obvious on her forehead.

"How could you even suggest?"

Cid grumbled dejectedly as he stalked along the sidewalk beside Red. Red was equally displeased, having been in the middle of a very pleasant nap.

"This is why I hate kids." Cid commented. Red rolled his golden eyes.

"I mean, seriously, why do kids have to be such a pain. They do the exact opposite of what they're told, and …agh! Dammit I need a cig…" He whined, rubbing his eyes. He never was able to handle nicotine absence very well.

"Instead of complaining, why don't you start thinking? If you were a 13 year-old boy, where would you go?" Red asked, tiring of the man's bellyaching. Cid stroked his chin in thought. Then his face brightened up.

"I'd be at a magazine store looking at po- plant magazines. Heh…" Cid masked his slip up. Not very well, but Red wasn't going to ruin it for him.

"I really don't think Denzel is the type of young man, especially since Marlene is with him, but let us check." Red sighed, letting Cid lead the way to a magazine store. He only hoped things were going better for the others.

"Cait, get down from there, ya damn moron!" Barret yelled up at the cat-toy perched on top of the monument in the square.

"Nae! Not until Ah find the lads!" Cait Sith chirped down at him. He raised his megaphone to his artificial lips and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"DENZEL! MARLENE! WHERE ARE YA?" Passers-by stopped to stare. If Barret had been lighter-skinned, they would have noticed the red creeping into his face.

"Fine, ya damn cat! I'm leaving! My baby needs me!" He shouted indignantly at the cat. Cait Sith gasped and immediately jumped down from the monument.

"No ya don't, bloke! You need me! Marlene can't help but home in on my cat charms, and will be here in no time! Just you wait!" Cait Sith declared. Barret gave him a pointed look and stormed away.

"Like hell." He muttered.

"Barret!" Cait Sith shrieked, scurrying after him.

Tifa and Cloud made it to the city park not much later. They parked the Fenrir and scanned the area for any kids. There were none.

"Oh my gosh my babies have been abducted!" Tifa wailed, very near hysterics now.

"Now, Teef, that's probably not the case. I bet they headed over to the 7th Heaven ages ago with their friends for the party." Cloud tried to reason with her.

"But then why hadn't we seen them on the way?" Tifa sniffed.

"This city's huge, Tifa. There's more than one way to take to get from here to the 7th Heaven." Cloud stated, putting his hands on his hips. How dare he look exhausted?

"Fine. If you're so sure in your theory, take me back to the 7th Heaven." Tifa countered, jabbing a finger in his muscular chest.

"Fine. Get on, you big baby." Cloud snickered, swinging a leg over Fenrir. He howled in pain when Tifa pinched the back of his arm.

Ah, but where was Reeve? Wasn't he helping with the search? Of course. He was…

…At the 7th Heaven being an immensely ineffective look out. He volunteered to be the lone look out, in case Denzel and Marlene came back while everyone was out. But, roughly 5 minutes after everyone left, he had fallen asleep, his head cradled in his arms. Unsurprisingly, that's exactly what happened. Denzel and Marlene walked into the 7th Heaven with a small group of friends in tow.

"…Some party." One of the kids scoffed. Denzel pouted. Marlene tiptoed over to Reeve and poked him. He squeaked and woke up almost instantly. He blinked in sleepy confusion and looked around at the several wide-eyed stares he was receiving.

"Where'd everyone go, Uncle Reeve?" Denzel asked him.

"Ellos están… Aw, forget it. They're out looking for you because you hadn't come back yet." Reeve explained, tired of the Spanish thing.

"When will they be back?" Denzel wondered. That was when Tifa burst dramatically through the door.

"Reeve, did the kids-Denzel! Marlene!" Tifa cut herself off, flinging her arms around Denzel and Marlene.

"We weren't gone that long, Tifa." Marlene giggled. Cloud lazed through the door after parking the Fenrir.

"Oh good, the kids are here." He commented, messing up Denzel's hair. Tifa narrowed her eyes at him.

"You didn't even notice they were still gone until I said something, you big blonde idgit." She stated accusingly. Cloud took a step back and a hand flew up to clutch his heart.

"Ouch! That hurt." He whined. One by one, the little search parties wandered back to the 7th Heaven. By now, no one wanted to throw a birthday party, favoring hard drinks instead.

"Alright, now that everyone's here, let's start this party!" Tifa cheered. Everyone gave her a dumb look and slumped down into chairs.

"Come on, you guys! You can chase a bad guy all the way around the Planet, but you can't even handle looking for a little kid in this little ol' city?" Tifa asked incredulously.

"We're gettin' old, Tifa." Cid grumbled, rubbing his back.

"Maybe you are, but the rest of us are in our prime." Tifa countered.

"Well excuse the hell out of me for bein' an old coot." Cid stated.

"You're family's weird…" One of the kids mumbled to Denzel. He blushed and nodded. Tifa glared at all the adults and put her hands on her hips.

"Fine. If you guys want to be like that, I'll just have to stop giving you all free drinks." She stated threateningly. The adults immediately shot up from their chairs and stood at attention. Tifa grinned.

"That's better." Wahaha. Power was indeed great.

Roughly an hour and a half later…

…Tifa had to cancel the party. As if the sudden thunderstorm wasn't bad enough, the members of AVALANCHE had somehow managed to bungle up every aspect of the party. The new cake Cid and Barret got had a stripper inside (Tifa was sure she was going to be hearing from angry parents sometime soon), all the food Yuffie made was some kind of spicy Wutainese food (from which the kids got stomach problems), Reeve, Cait Sith and Red had rented a mule for the party (which kicked some kids), and Cloud and Vincent were being no help at all, preferring to sit in dark corners and avoiding little kids.

After all the kids left, Tifa marched up to her room and locked herself inside.

"…I think we messed up." Barret commented.

"Ya think?" Yuffie replied sarcastically.

"Sorry we ruined your party, little guy." Cloud apologized to Denzel. Denzel was giggling every now and then, and trying to cover up a grin.

"Are you kidding? That was great! Well, except for the stomachaches and broken limbs. But other than that, it was a lot of fun! My friends all had fun too." He stated.

"Really? I guess we didn't do as bad as I thought we did. But Tifa's pretty upset. Who wants to have the honors of talking to her?" Cloud asked, looking around at everyone. They all immediately pointed at him.

"What! Why me?" He whined.

"Cuz you should be used to her tirades." Cid stated, pushing Cloud up the stairs.

"But I don't wanna!" He complained.

"March!" Yuffie commanded. Cloud sulked upstairs and knocked on Tifa's door.

"Teef? Are you-" He was interrupted by the door swinging open. Tifa pointed at him dramatically.

"YOU are going to give Denzel his talk!" She declared.

"W-what?"

Holy crap that was massively inferior to the first chapter… (Buries head in sand) I realized I didn't really know what I was going to do with the party, so I skipped it all together. Let me know if this chapter was a huge disaster like I think it was. And I know people are reading this. It's had 200+ hits since it was published, and only a small fraction of that actually reviewed! Was it just so terrible that it wasn't worth taking 5 seconds to tell me so? I need to know if I'm just wasting my time or not. Alright, I'm done complaining, so click that little purple button down there!