A/N: Hi everyone!

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of the stores mentioned. ):

2. Thanks For Giving! (James and Carlos/Humor) Rated K+

"What is this place, James? I've never been to a Nude Food store before," Carlos said skeptically.

"I don't know, but what's the difference? A grocery store is a grocery store. We just need the typical Thanksgiving items according to Kendall and Logan."

"If you say so," said Carlos, patting his helmet. "Let's do this."

James hummed as he pushed the shopping cart through the aisle of the grocery store. He frantically searched through the frozen meat options and snorted.

"Carlos, there aren't any turkeys in here! How can there not be any turkeys!" he cried. "Tomorrow is Thanksgiving for crying out loud!"

Carlos leaned in, scrunching up his nose as he lifted out a box of imported Cornish hens. "What about these little guys?"

James peered into the freezer, his eyes widening. "Those must be midget turkeys!" he said. "Rejects!" he stage-whispered.

They noticed a man whistling as he laid out fresh sushi on a shelf. "Excuse me sir, do you know where the turkeys are?" Carlos asked.

"Turkeys! We don't sell turkeys here. Have you tried Wal-mart?" he asked.

"Wal-mart?" they echoed.

"Yeah, we have squid, alligator, and kangaroo, but nothing so mundane as turkey," he explained.

"But, we don't have time to go anywhere else! We need to get back home and get everything ready for tomorrow!" James shrieked. "I have to choose what I'm going to wear, deep-condition my hair, and get some beauty sleep!" The man just stared and backed away through the doors, and into the stock-room. "Rude!" James yelled.

"Hey, how about this?" Carlos asked, picking up a strange lump of meat in a vacuum-sealed bag.

James read the label. "Buffalo?! Really!" Carlos shrugged. "We need to impress the ladies, not freak them out, Carlos!"

"Okay! Just don't yell at me!" Carlos cried, an extreme pout clouding his small features.

"Sorry," James said, looking guilty. "I'm a little stressed here. Let's just get everything else we need, then we'll worry about the turkey."

"Deal," Carlos said happily.

They strolled down the aisle and searched for the packaged goods. "Let's see..." Carlos said, scouring the shelves. "Mashed potatoes...mashed potatoes...where are the mashed potatoes? Cous-cous?"

"Jasmine rice?" James said, arching a perfect brow.

"Look, stuffing!" Carlos cheered, lunging for a box. His smile faded as he read on. "Dehydrated truffles and barley stuffing, and it costs fifteen dollars!" They groaned.

"That's it! I'm calling Kendall and Logan!" James said, fishing his android from his jeans pocket. "Kendall? We can't find a turkey at this place, and they have no stuffing or potatoes!" James exclaimed. He listened for a moment. "Okay...fine. Bye."

"Well, what do we do?" Carlos asked.

"He said to get real potatoes, bread crumbs and seasoning!" James said, acting as if Kendall had lost his mind.

"What about a turkey?"

"He said he would take care of that."

"Yay! Okay, let's shop!" Carlos said eagerly.

They found the fresh produce section, and the boys looked over the selection. "Are these potatoes?" Carlos asked, picking up a strange bumpy vegetable that sort of resembled a potato.

"I...guess?' James said, tossing a dozen of them into the cart. "Okay, we need lettuce and stuff for salad."

"Here!" Carlos threw in a dark green leafy ball of curiosity into the shopping cart.

"Tomatoes..." James listed off, scribbling the words out with a sparkly purple pen. He put two large red fruits next to the 'lettuce'. "Cucumbers," he said, adding two long thin objects.

They searched for breadcrumbs. "Excuse me, ma'am!" Carlos called to a women in a smock. "Where are the breadcrumbs?"

She pointed behind her, her expressionless face never moving. They headed in the direction she'd indicated. The shelves were lined with unfamiliar brands. "Curry-flavored...sesame-flavored...what is fennel pollen?" James asked curiously.

"I don't know, but I found something called ur-fa.. bi-ber," Carlos tried to sound out.

"Ew! Let's go with the fennel pollen," James said.

"Right."

The boys were proud of themselves when they crossed every item but the turkey, off the list. They got in line behind a couple with a cart-full of herbs and loose teas. The woman wore a long gauzy skirt and a tie-dye tank-top. The man had on bell-bottom jeans and Birkenstock sandals. They reeked of sandalwood. They turned around and stared curiously into the cart of various odds and ends the boys had gathered.

Carlos nodded to them. "How you doing?Just doing some Thanksgiving dinner shopping, ourselves." The couple nodded back, then snickered.

James turned up his nose indignantly. He began to spread the food out on the conveyor belt with a huff.

"Do you have your own bags with you?" the cashier asked.

"Um...no," James said. "Should we?"

"I have some here," he said in a melancholy tone. He began to fill the hemp bags with the groceries they had selected.

After everything was totaled and bagged, the man said flatly, "Okay, with the ten hemp bags included, that'll be two hundred and fifteen dollars.".

"What?!" they shrieked.

The man just looked at them. "As in two hundred dollars?" James repeated.

"Two hundred and fifteen dollars to be exact," the man corrected. "We don't charge tax. We slave, so you save," he said in a monotone voice.

"You're creeping me out here!" James yelled.

"James. We don't have two-hundred and fifteen dollars! What are we going to do?!" Carlos asked.

"I guess I'll have to put it on my visa," James said.

"We don't take visa, sir. We would have to charge tax if we did that."

"Shut up!" they both yelled.

"I can give you the money, dudes," a voice said from somewhere behind.

They spun around to see a man in a wheelchair with a long beard and a rainbow beanie.

"Um...give us the money?" James asked in an uncertain voice.

"Sure. It's cool. Peace, love and brotherhood," he drawled. He pulled out a roll of cash and set two one-hundred dollar bills on the conveyer belt.

"But-but you don't even know us!" Carlos cried.

"We all know one another, man. We're all brothers on this planet."

"Gee, thanks," James said, dumbfounded. "Can we pay you back somehow?"

"Naw, got more money than I need to use in this lifetime. Keep it."

The boys paid for the items and turned to leave. "Thanks!" they called.

"No problem. Peace!"

Kendall opened the door for James and Carlos to carry in their treasures. Logan begin to empty the bags, his face growing more perplexed as he went along.

"Um, what exactly is this?" he asked, holding up the strange potato-like vegetable.

"Potato?" Carlos guessed.

"Nooo," Logan said with a shake of his head.

"Urfa biber breadcrumbs?" Kendall asked, his face contorting.

"Don't judge us!' James scoffed.

"Well at least we have the turkey," Logan said. "Right?"

Kendall banged it on the counter-top. "Yeah, only it's frozen like a rock."

"Thaw it out in the micro-wave," Carlos suggested.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Logan said, intervening before he cold shove the bird in. "It might get all rubbery, not to mention Salmonella poisoning from-"

"All right! All right!" James said irritably. "Let's just get this going. I need my beauty sleep if I'm going to impress the new girl tomorrow."

"And I need to impress blonde Jennifer," Carlos added with a big cheesy grin.

"Camille is going to think we're crazy if we serve this weird stuff tomorrow," Logan whined. "Where did you guys shop, International Food Of The Month Club?"

"No. Nude Foods," James replied, his cheeks turning pink.

""What?!" Logan squeaked. "Please don't ever say that again."

"See James? Blonde Jennifer is going to think we're idiots, I told you!"

"So will Jo," Kendall moaned. "Why couldn't you guys just go to Wal-mart like everyone else?"

"Told you so!" Carlos said, smirking at James.

"Well you-" James began, slapping at Carlos' helmet.

"Guys!" Kendall yelled. "Let's just calm down and figure this out!"

"I'll get the cookbooks," Logan sighed. "Hopefully, your mom has some that specialize in exotic foods."

A huge mess and a lot of hours later, the boys had prepared the food for the following day. They covered each dish with saran-wrap, and crammed them into the refrigerator.

"I think we did good," James said.

"Me too, considering..." Kendall agreed.

"It all looks delicious!" Carlos chimed in, rubbing his belly.

"Well, " Logan said with a shrug, "considering what we had to work with and all..."

They cleaned up their mess and went to bed feeling proud that they had managed to pull it off.

The next day the boys were up early, putting the stuffed turkey in the oven and preparing the salad.

"What are you idiots doing up so early?" Katie asked with a yawn.

"Preparing the best Thanksgiving meal you've ever tasted, baby sister," Kendall said with a grin.

She looked into a bowl and raised an eyebrow. "Right," she said.

The girls showed up at the door, and Carlos jumped up to answer it. "Come on in. ladies," he said formally, taking each of their handbags and jackets.

"Oh. It smells..." Camille searched for the right words to describe the aroma.

"So..." Jo tried to help.

"Interesting," the new girl finished for them.

"Mom?" Katie said into her cell. "Can you pick up a complete turkey dinner from Cluck A-lot? Yep," she said, before hanging up with a look of smug satisfaction on her angelic face.

The couples all took their seats at the table. The boys served the meal for their guests and everyone took turns saying what they were thankful for.

"I'm thankful for you, Camille," Logan said wisely, with a goofy grin plastered upon his face.

"As I am for you, Logan," she said blushing.

"I'm thankful that I chose you Jo. Twice," he emphasized with two fingers.

"And, I am thankful that you did too," Jo said.

"I'm thankful that I finally had someone to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for this year," James said with a cute smile. The new girl smiled back. "And not a plant," he added. The girl frowned.

"I'm thankful that the man with no legs gave us free money at the store!" Carlos exclaimed. The girls exchanged confused looks.

Blonde Jennifer did not look happy. She cleared her throat before speaking. "I'm thankful that Carlos finally realized that he liked me, and that I liked him," she said.

Carlos swooned and bounced happily in his chair. "Dig in ladies!" he exclaimed.

Everyone picked up their forks and sampled the food on their plates. They grimaced and stopped chewing. No one swallowed.

"Mmmm," Camille said, bringing her napkin to her mouth to spit out the food, smiling at Logan over the top of her napkin.

Jo started coughing, and Kendall leaned over to pat her on the back. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh...yeah," she said, stuffing the food into the side of her cheek.

Katie spit hers back out on her plate. "Blech!" she cried.

The door opened and Mrs. Knight entered with an armload of Clucks-A-lot take-out. Katie broke into a wide smile. "And, I'm thankful that mom brought home some real food, because this garbage is not edible!" she said.

"Thanks, Mama Knight!" they all chorused.