I'm sorry for not publishing this sooner, it was translated but I never took the time to put it on the site, I'm sorry *bows*
Please enjoy!
Disclaimer : Naruto and all the characters are Kishimoto's property
Warning : Chapter unbetaed.
While the dazzling green beast of Konoha exited my office escorted by Sai, I tried to sort out my thoughts. This charade could only be a bad joke from cosplayers. It was the only explanation … Suddenly I remembered that these weird events happened after drinking that warmed up coffee. I picked my mug up, and carefully smelled the delicate aroma of the black liquid. No suspicious odor. I took a sip and rolled it in my mouth, trying to detect any aftertaste in that bitter drink. That coffee seemed perfectly fine to me, unless … someone drugged me with GHB! Can this drug cause hallucinations? I didn't have time to worry about such thing; the next opponent was making his way into my office … well, concentration! There was no word to describe their embonpoint aside from me having a death wish if I mess with them. But what was I thinking? If this was a hallucination, I wasn't at risk. Although, my puny frame would never resist the important mass taking its seat before me, I chose to play cautious.
"You're Kishimoto!" He said putting down his chips and picking up our coffee specialist's natto. Troublesome! This big dork had no clue about the war he was about to trigger between Ikemoto and Takahashi. The first would accuse the latter for stealing his snack.
"Yes, that's me" I replied sighing. "And you are Chôji. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"
"I would like to talk to you about my popularity in the polls" He started. "From the beginning of the publication, I appear once in the top thirty of favorite characters. And, it's clearly reflected on fanfictions. I found only seven stories where I was one of the principal characters. Often, I don't exist at all even if the other ninjas of my promotion are all introduced. I would like to know if you know the reason and if you're going to do something to fix it"
"I really don't see what's the matter" I lied through my teeth "You know, the story is about Naruto. So, it's normal that you're a second character"
"Second to the point where I'm far behind insipid dudes like Inari, Ebisu, Tayuya and Anbus who appeared only once in the whole story" He stated "Let me remind you that I'm the bottom of the top fifty of the popularity poll. I'm very far behind you and the tadpole. And you don't see any problems?"
Of course, I knew the problem. Ino kept on bugging him about it, but I was not insane enough to tell him myself. I had to find a way to escape.
"Listen to me, Chôji" I replied firmly to close the 'heavy' taboo subject. "The most important thing is not popularity. You're an important character in my story. I like your meek attitude, your sensitivity and courage to defend your precious people. Even if you're not popular, you have found real friends who like you the way you are. You're an example for some of my readers who are in the same situation as you. So, we don't care if you're f…"
I almost slipped with the taboo word, a murderous glim appeared suddenly in his eyes. I swallowed quickly, and stammered the first thing that came to my mind to hide my slip up.
"Fractious?" He repeated. "I'm not appreciated because I'm fractious? Yet I thought that I was a smiling and jovial person"
"Let's say that you are in some circumstances" I chuckled to collect myself. I confess that it wasn't the right word but it allowed me to dodge a powerful blow of 87.5 kg.
"Do you think that I have a chance with Ino even if I'm fractious" He asked embarrassed.
Why were they all asking me about their love life? Was it because of their growth hormone level during this critical phase called adolescence?
"Well, I don't think that she's interested in you" I replied sadly.
"But, she's the only girl who visited me when I was at the hospital, and it happened twice" He added.
"Ino is a superficial girl" I explained, "She's more concerned with people's physical appearance. You'll have to change to please her and it's not good because if she really loves you, she'll like you the way you are. This doesn't stop her from considering you as a friend though. Personally, I advice you to be yourself, and one day, a genuine girl will take interest in you. Who knows, maybe Ino will open up her eyes to see your beautiful qualities"
"Yeah, in my dreams" Chôji sighed. "Thanks anyway"
The young man left the room with a very sad look. I felt sorry for him. Me too, I wasn't very popular with girls when I was a teenager. But, it didn't stop me from getting married with a very nice girl able to support a man who had the brilliant idea to get his head stuck in suitcase that looked like a frog. Of course, my lovely colleagues who had enjoyed my stupidity and immortalized the moment on their phones instead of helping me from that unfortunate situation; didn't miss the opportunity to share this moment with my sweetheart who recognized my lack of maturity. While I was lost in my less glorious memories, a new complainer took a sit discretely.
"Do you remember me, I'm Shino Aburame" He introduced himself with his monotone voice.
"How could I forget you since I'm the one who created you" I ironically replied.
"So why did you forget me during Sasuke's retrieval mission" He grumbled.
"I didn't forget you" I defended. "Because, if you were part of the rescue team, the mission would have been a success, it would have compromised the development of the story. You must understand that you are a very strong shinobi"
"If I was part of the team, Sasuke would have stayed in the village" He analyzed. "If Sasuke had stayed in the village, Naruto wouldn't have been concerned of rescuing Sasuke. And if Naruto weren't worried about Sasuke, he would have the presence of mind to answer Hinata's declaration of love. Which means that Hinata wouldn't have been in the uncertainty about the feelings of a thoughtless idiot. What's your benefit in making her suffer like this?"
"First of all, it sells" I joked, but this pathetic joke didn't cheer him up. "Well, to be honest, I didn't have much choice to keep the suspense up during Sakura's declaration. To make people believe that Naruto could fall for Sakura's nice speech"
"That's all, it seems to be that your story is getting more and more confusing" He blurted out offending me a little. "We were expecting better coming from the third highest paid mangaka in Japan"
"First, why do you care so much about Hinata's fate?" I questioned, outraged by his offensive comment.
"Hinata is a genuine friend who care about the wellbeing of her comrades" He explained. "A person endowed with such kindness doesn't deserve to have her feelings played with"
"Tell me, do you have a soft spot for her?" I teased.
"Don't be ridiculous" The entomologist calmly replied. "Hinata is just a friend nothing more"
"Really? We could question your animosity towards Naruto and … Kyaaa!" I was interrupted by a swarm of insects encircling me.
"Be careful" He advised me with a serious tone "In our collaboration depends our lives. Without your drawings, we can't exist and without our misadventures, you can't have a roof and food. It's in your interest to treat us with respect and gratitude. Did I make myself clear?"