It never started here before, or did it?
That blatant sense of irony. Sonic's running from his problems and Knuckles can't make a fist.
No, it's definitely started with this breed of irony. We are not the firsts, are we? We never were.
"Rinds! My four skins are over you! Be leading the bleeding!"
-KZZT-
"DONATE BEANS TO YOUR PRESIDENT TO YOUR PRESIDENT TO YOUR PRESIDENT."
-KZT-
*kzzssshhhhttt*
It feels basically how you might imagine it feels when Shadow's hand against the back of your head forces you into a coma.
You swear this is not a coma.
You swear this is not all you.
You swear to the very universe you exist in that this universe exists. The universe believes you.
*krrrrsssshhhhhhhhtttt*
*krrrssshht*
You're getting exhausted as you drag the body behind you. Desperately clinging to the giant rock it drags behind it in the net.
You think you're safe by reading some fanfiction, escaping life for a second.
But you aren't escaping life into fanfiction, are you? Or fuck maybe you are and I just ruined that. Fuck. FUCKfuckfuck. I'm sorry. Let's start over, okay?
Y-you are uh. You're not allowed to participate with this fanfiction in any form or fashion beyond just reading it. To avoid legal troubles, you are not involved in any way, shape or form in the production of this nonsense. Read the rules and regulations in regards to narrative in the second person.
But I am. And I am about to explode. Please read and review while we drag this display of courage and honor to its final resting place.
*shhhrrrrttkkkk*
"kuh-kershk. Haha. Please kill me," the creature says. The creature wants to die, and you won't kill it. You won't kill it because you want to find a better place for it to exist. You won't kill it because you want it to die somewhere else. Have you ever seen the magician's claws? Oh wait, sound effects. kerchomp kerchomp kercho-
"I could have sworn it was something else, I could have sworn it was something else. I could have swo-"
*krrrrggggghhhh*
"Y-you wouldn't have forgotten me if you hadn't been taught a lesson!"
Tails taunts from stuck in the trees. He tries to explain it better. Use your imagination. I won't bother to use mine if you won't bother to use yours. I'm one of those edgy fanfiction writers.
And in this place you see that you shouldn't see there's like a thousand clones of everyone and everything on racks, and there's a million billion dead, and there's not much you can do about it.
"I won't leave without it!" Knuckles thought he had screamed as he clubbed Sonic in the legs. He insisted if he was to go to the hospital, he'd need to be carried along with the emerald.
The thing about the emerald is that it defies gravity. Breaks it in a way. That's why it literally tore the ground out from under it and escaped to the sky.
I don't really know shit about magnets or anything so I'll spare you the scifience. That was a combination of the words science fiction and science. I was trying to be clever. Do you think it was clever? Please leave a review and tell me that I am clever and loved. Say something like "your parents should be less disappointed in you than they are and you deserve all the accolades you can shake a stick at!" but in your own words and preferably use more than that. Say nice things. The world isn't nice enough.
I'm serious.
Knuckles blinks away the terrible memories and ideas in his brain. He is crying and he cannot see because he is crying blood, the tears of vampires. But he is not a vampire, so that isn't as normal as it sounds.
His face is several shades of red, and his dreadlocks have begun falling out like stinkropes the congruential size if King Kong's butt pubes.
A fist isn't made, but a fist is earned.
Sonic trudges forward, silently. Stumbling to his knees every time the island violently quakes under him. Crumbling, gravity's confused enemy tears it asunder.
He strains under the force of the world around him literally tears itself apart under his feet. He keeps whispering to himself, whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps . . . .
This is what is happening right now in the story you are reading. Not his right now, your right now. You. The one reading this instead of experiencing the weight of my very fingertips and the weight of your very eyes.
Sonic is dragging the deteriorating Knuckles behind him by the ankle at this point. Knuckles is dragging the emerald behind them encased in a big fishing net. Staring into it. Leaving a slimy trail of his innumerable horrifying fluids and bodily secretions in their wake. Staining the emerald forever. Still, he can see into the bowels. He can see into everything. His precious realities.
At the edge of the island, as it truly falls into the sea, the ocean lends its bottom to a cosmic wonder. Still they walk. A red tide beyond imagination, as the creatures of the deep have become the pulsating and dying ground they walk upon made of rocks and living things and coral reefs.
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Knuckles is bleeding out of his ass and wiping with his glove. He smells it. It doesn't smell good. He projectile vomits onto the emerald again. He watches Shadow kiss Amy. He watches Cream marry Tails. He imagines not being in a cave and not being worthless. He's punching the bad guys and kicking the villains. Sometimes he's the villain but that's okay he can just skip to something else. Imagine something else. Experience something else.
Knuckles wants to die when he remembers who he is. That's why he's confused. That's why he's
*krrssshhht*
The body of Dora the Explorer was found nailed to a tree. Her eyes had been hollowed out and her empty sockets refitted for appropriately sized flashlights. Bootprints to and from this area disappear at the highway.
Her chest carved out and her organs stuffed into the backpack nailed loosely to her arm along with a map to this exact location.
Twelve of her teeth, a sample of her brain, three of her smaller toes and a fistful of scalp seem to have been swiped. It's an All American Tragedy.
Officer Bimb and Officer Norbl are on the case. They shine flashlights at things. They pull out their guns sometimes, just to look at them.
Glocks. Nice.
"You bet your goddamn fluids I'm gonna rail one in and pull one off!" Officer Bimb says in regards to moving his coatrack. Unsure of the order in which he'd need to complete these tasks. "Holy shit a dead fella," he says, shining the flashlight at the flashlights.
"Whoa. That aint no fella. That's a small Mexican girl."
"Well, fuck my wife and call her Aunt Jemimah. That mean we doesn't gotta do no paper work," Officer Bimb says, throwing his stupid, stupid hat in the air.
"Oh good I can't read, especially not in Spanish."
"First round is on me, rookie. I'll teach you how to finger vagrants in the buttholes and totally get away with it."
"I am so glad that Donald Trump is our president, and our legal right as cops is to finger vagrants in the buttholes and disregard minorities as human beings entirely."
"America is truly great again."
*krrrssshhhht*
When Sonic abandoned him in the New Floating Desert he didn't mind as much as he should have, because Knuckles still had the master emerald.
He could see an alternate reality, an alternate ending where he made it to the hospital and the doctors told him he had cancer and he died surrounded by his loved ones telling him how much they loved him. It was a way better ending.
"Say, Knux? KNUX?!"
Knuckles is startled. His attention "...yeah?"
"What'd you say you named that goddamn thing?"
"I named it fanfiction dot net, Sonic. Why are you asking?"
"I hate it," Sonic says, exhausted. "I hate it so much."