A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews. It means so much to me that you all enjoy the story!

xoxo, Alex

Chapter Two - One Step At a Time


Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you've always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's
Supposed to happen and we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

"Hi. My name is Jenny Humphrey and I'm new here…", Jenny started. She looked around the room for a quick second and saw that everyone was staring at her. This wasn't her first time attending a class like this but these were new people that she'd never met before. "I've been in a class like this in Brooklyn, but….Five months ago, I ended up in the hospital after cutting myself really bad".

The first time Jenny went to one of these meeting, she had been in the hospital for a week. It was nerve racking her first time and she sat silent, insisting that nothing was wrong with her. But as time went on, Jenny found herself opening up more to the other males and females that shared the same problem as her.

"I started cutting myself when I was thirteen. I had just died my hair blonde and my dad didn't like it so he beat me…really bad. The next day, I was in the kitchen cutting an apple and accidentally cut my finger". Jenny lifted up her small index finger on her left hand so that the people could see. She let her mind flashback to that day, the small rundown Brooklyn apartment popping up in her mind. It was like she was standing in that spot in the kitchen all over again, with the knife in her hand. She could see the ragged furniture and creaky wooden floors that she hated so much. "I remember watching the blood as it ran down and there was a sudden rush. So when ever I was upset or sad, I would cut my wrist and watch the blood to help calm me down".

There was a silence in the room that made Jenny feel uncomfortable. It was if, everyone in the room was judging her, seeing if she was even more messed up than they were. Jenny knew this because that was exactly what she use to do. When first starting the class back in Brooklyn, Jenny compared her situation to the other people in the room. She soon found out that she was no better than they were.

"Soon, I started to do it for pleasure. I liked the feeling of the knife and the way my skin opened up. I became addicted and didn't know how to stop". Jenny closed her eyes, remembering the high that overcame her as she watched her own blood drain. It was intoxicated and for a slit second, Jenny so desperately wanted a sharp object. Her eyes opened again and she looked out at all the people in the room.

"That's kind of all of my story". Looking back down at her fingers which were aimlessly playing with the ones on the other hand, she sat back down in her seat and listened as the next person introduced themselves.

As Jenny glanced around the room she noticed one boy in particular that looked about her age. He had sandy blonde hair that was combed to make it look shorter than it really was. He was wearing a pair of kaki brown pants and a white button downed t-shirt. When he introduced himself it was as Eric Van der Woodsen. When standing, he was much shorter than Jenny had anticipated. His story was because of not getting enough attention and afraid to be himself, and this too was his first time in the class.

The difference between Eric and Jenny was that he tried to kill himself because of lack of attention from his mother and sister and acceptance. Jenny almost killed herself because of too much attention from her parents. There were times when Jenny wished they'd forget she was even alive. That way she didn't have to get beaten or yelled at. Another difference was that Eric was from the Upper Eastside of Manhattan and Jenny was from the bad part of Brooklyn in a beat up apartment that only had one bedroom and she slept on the couch. There was a time when they had to sell their couch to pay the rent, so Jenny ended up sleeping on the cold wooden floor with a scrap of a blanket. But the one thing that they did have in common was that they both attended St. Jude's & Constance Billard Boarding School for girls and boys.

After the meeting was over, Jenny collected her thing and placed the brochures and pamphlets the instructor handed out and put them in her bag. Just as she was doing this there was a light tap on her shoulder. Turning around Jenny was faced to faced with Eric Van der Woodsen.

"Hey", Jenny greeted the boy. Standing next to him, he was indeed much shorter than Jenny. Up close his facial features were very soft. He looked almost like a two month old baby.

"Hey. They hand these thing out like it's a luxury vacation", Eric gestured to the brochures in his hand. That made Jenny laugh. She never understood why classes like the one she was in did this, but she would often find herself reading it. "I'm Eric by the way".

"Jenny". She pointed to herself. She talked with Eric some more about the class but leaving out the fact that she attended the same school as him. It's not that she didn't want to talk to him outside of class it was just the fact that she wanted a fresh start at school without people knowing about her past. After a few more minutes, Eric stated that he had to get back to school and the two said goodbye before heading off in opposite directions, Jenny to the bus and Eric into a limousine that was waiting for him.

When reaching her dorm, Jenny noticed that Nate was standing outside her door holding a long plastic bag covering something. She smiled to herself as she walked up to him. He was so handsome and he looked incredibly sexy wearing his tight black shirt and jeans. His hair was pushed back from his face, revealing his deep blue eyes to the entire world. Jenny tried to get a grip on herself, remembering that he was taken. That his heart belong to another girl. Vanessa. She winced when the girls name was spoken or even thought of. She hated this Vanessa for dating Nate, for having his heart.

"Hey", Jenny smiled brightly, trying to hide the fact that she was just bashing his girlfriend in her head. Nate smiled back, and Jenny almost fell to the ground from the sudden weakness she felt in her knees. "What's going on?".

"Oh, uh, Dan wanted me to bring this to you", Nate extended the black bag to her, she took it in her arms and smiled. "It's your uniform. He had an early study session in the library and wanted me to give it to you".

"Thanks so much for bringing it to me, but why didn't you wait for me inside?", Jenny asked. It was very strange to stand outside of someone's dorm room rather than wait inside. Jenny knew that Agnes was inside because she was still asleep when the blonde left. And Agnes usually awoke around noon - something that Jenny learned quickly.

"Well, when I got here she said you were out and that I could wait for you. Then she kind of tried to rape me", Nate said, not even believing the words that were coming from his mouth. But they were true. The moment he sat down to wait for Jenny, her roommate attacked him and tried to remove his clothes. "She's kind of crazy. No wonder you hate her".

"You hate me". The door bolted open to revel Agnes standing in the doorway, wearing a fluffy pink robe and matching slippers. She looked over at Jenny in shock. "You told the hottie that you hated me? I thought that we were getting along?".

"What the hell Agnes? Where you listening the whole time?", Jenny shouted at her overbearing roommate. She and Agnes had made up since their altercation and surprisingly the girl was not so crazy. She was an aspiring model from a small town in North Carolina. She and her mother moved to New York when Agnes was discovered by an agent. Her career hit a low point last year and her mother suggested she attended school, one preferably away from her.

Agnes tried to look innocent, but it clearly wasn't working. She had been listening to their conversation and the three of them knew it. "Ok, so maybe I was but that's only because I wanted to hear what the hottie was saying about me".

Jenny sighed as Agnes went back inside, leaving the door open. "Nate, thanks again for this, I'll see you later". She smiled one last time at him before taking the bag a going into her dorm.

Inside, Agnes was sitting on her bed, rubbing lotion on her long model legs. "That guy was insanely hot. You gonna hook-up with him?". Agnes switched to the other leg as Jenny hung the long bag with her clothes on the back of the door and stuffed the pamphlets she'd gotten from her meeting in the bottom of her desk drawer.

Jenny removed her jacket and shoes before plopping down on her bed. "He has a girlfriend".

Agnes scoffed, placing the small bottle of lotion back on her bedside table. She sat up straight so that she was facing Jenny. "And? He's Nathaniel Archibald, guys like that don't come around often".

Jenny looked confused as to how Agnes knew Nate. With the way they talked to each other, they seemed like strangers. That got Jenny to wondering if Nate had some kind of a reputation flying around school. "I thought you didn't know him".

"Of course, I know him. He's like one of the hottest guys in school", Agnes gushed. She picked the brush up from its spot next to the lotion and began to slowly brush her long brown hair. "….and the fact that he brought you your uniform is an indication that he wants to hook-up".

Jenny always hated the term "Hook-up". It made people sound like they were prostitutes. Jenny hated the word and avoided all cost of using it. "One, he has a girlfriend and two, he only brought me the stupid uniform because he's my cousin's roommate and he couldn't bring it".

"Your cousin could have brought it later if he wanted. You don't need the thing until Monday. Nate brought it to you because he is so into you", Agnes continued.

Jenny knew that Agnes was wrong about Nate being into her. Chuck was the one that was into her and did nothing to hide it. But Jenny was staying away from him, because he wasn't her type and plus he was in some kind of a relationship with Blair.

"You're delusional", Jenny laughed, getting up from the bed and taking her clothes from where it hung on the back of the door.

"That would be you…". Jenny heard the bed squeak as an indicator that Agnes had rose from the bed and was now heading her way. When Jenny turned around she came face-to-face with Agnes. "Mark my words, Jen, by the end of this week you and Nate will have ended up in a spontaneous lip-lock, maybe even a bit of a sweaty game if you know what I mean", Agnes smiled cocking her right shoulder upwards.

Jenny looked into Agnes' eyes and could tell that she was serious. This made Jenny anxious, because she liked Nate but also didn't want to feel an emotional attachment to him. If she did, chances are it would end up bad when he went running back to his girlfriend.

"I'm going to try on my uniform".

She emerged from the bathroom wearing a short, pleated gray paid skirt and a white buttoned down shirt. "How do I look?". Jenny twirled around for Agnes.

In the time that Jenny had left to change, Agnes was back on her bed only this time reading a tabloid magazine. "Give you some sweet dance moves and back round music and you're a walking Brittney Spears video".

"Thanks". Jenny smiled walking over to the bedside table, looking for her needle and thread. She liked the uniform but was going to add a couple of things that made it her own.

As she did this the sides of her shirt hitched up reveling a circled burn mark her left side. It looked to be healed but you could tell that it was a burn. Similar to the one you get from a cigar or a cigarette. It caught Agnes' attention quickly.

"Jenny what happened to you?". She reached out and touched it.

Jenny jumped, her mind flashing back to the night in which she'd gotten the burn. She was sitting on the couch with her father. Her mother said something and Jenny agreed. It made her father angry, so he reached over and placed the cigar he was smoking into Jenny's side. She was fourteen at the time but Jenny could still smell the flesh that was being burned away from her skin. She could still smell the ashes and feel the pain.

"It's nothing", she answered softly, walking over to her bed.

"It doesn't look like nothing. Looks like you've been burned with something", Agnes continued, curious of the sore on her roommate's side.

"I said it's nothing, so can you just drop it!", Jenny snapped, turning in her bed so that she was no longer facing Agnes.

Agnes did as Jenny wished and let the situation go, but that didn't stop her from wonder about how her roommate received such a burn on her body.