Italics are flashbacks. Guess I was inspired by last nights episode.

Aiden died two months ago.

Ethan hasn't been the same since. He felt like a part of him had been ripped out, like someone had reached into his chest and tore out his soul, leaving him empty and broken. He felt cold, numb; most of the time he didn't feel anything at all. He couldn't feel the showerhead spraying cold water on his skin, but he could feel the ice in his bones; he could feel the sorrow buried deep in his chest, threatening to come up through his throat and have him choke on his guilt. Aiden had been his only family member left; the only person he really trusted. They had been through everything together. And now?

Now Aiden's gone.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You weren't supposed to fall in love with him!"

Ethan glares. "Well I did, Aiden."

Aiden rolls his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be the smart one? Even I know that if I fell in love with Lydia, Deucalion would kill her! You do know that's what's going to happen to Danny, right? He's going to die! You don't have a chance!"

"I won't let him die! And maybe if you'd just help me, I'd have a better chance!"

"What's your ingenious plan then, huh? What are you going to do? Try to join a pack that doesn't trust you? Try to fight Deucalion?"

Ethan opens his mouth to speak, but finds no words.

"See? This is what I mean! I'm not going to help you commit suicide!"

"Fine, I'll do this on my own." Ethan turns to leave.

"Ethan! Ethan, wait! Damnit Ethan, I'm trying to make sure you stay alive!"

Ethan slams the door in Aiden's face.

Ethan grabs his head and groans. Why didn't he listen? If he would've just worked something out with Aiden, he could still be alive. But Ethan didn't listen, and now Aiden's dead. And it's all Ethan's fault. He hated his brother after that argument, or at least he'd tried to. He viewed him as a traitor; the thought that Aiden had a plan of his own to save Ethan and Danny hadn't even crossed his mind. All Aiden did, all he's ever done is look out for Ethan. And Ethan just let him die. He betrayed him.

The utter lack of control was suffocating.

It felt wrong. The full moon was out, but Aiden wasn't there. He'd never be there. Ethan felt like something inside of him was shredding, breaking; he was becoming an alpha on his own.

And it felt wrong.

Ethan didn't even want to be an alpha. Aiden was just so obsessed with power that he convinced Ethan to become an alpha with him, but they could only fully shift when they were morphed together. Aiden had always wanted to shift on his own, and Deucalion- the bastard- promised him he'd teach him how one day. Aiden should be standing here right now, not Ethan. Ethan didn't deserve this. He didn't even want this. He looked up at the moon and let out a howl of anguish- for himself, for his wolf, and for Aiden.

Ethan turned the shower off, breaking the knob in the process. The memories were too much; they were bringing up emotions he'd hidden away a long time ago. He stumbles out of the shower, and rests his hands on the corners of the sink. When he looks up, he stares in the mirror. The face in front of him, his face, looks so much like Aiden's. If his jawline was just a little sharper, his eyebrows a little higher, he could probably pass for him. His head would have to be squarer too; and he'd have to have red eyes instead of blue. Yeah, he could see Aiden now; right in front of him.

"Fight back!"

Ethan drove his fist into Isaac's face again and again, baiting him. He wanted him to fight back. Ethan was tired of this kid feeling sorry for him- pitying him- and he wanted him to fight back. It's not like he was an alpha anymore anyway, so why wasn't the stupid kid fighting back?

"Why are you just taking it? Fight back!"

"No."

Ethan growls. "Why not? You think you're better than me, Lahey? Is that it? Are you an arrogant little wolf now?"

Isaac just coughs out blood as Ethan punches him again. "No, I just know how it feels."

Ethan grabs Isaac by the neck and pins him to a tree. "No you don't! You don't know how it feels to watch your brother die! You don't know how it feels to have the only family member you have left die right in front of you!"

"Yes I do."

Ethan stops mid punch. "Wh-What?"

"I know how it feels to lose your family. I know how it feels to watch the only family member you have left die in front of you. And I definitely know what it feels like to blame yourself for it."

Ethan lets go of Isaac's shirt collar, and for a split second, he thinks about what Isaac is offering; a chance to open up to someone other than Danny, someone who's pack. Then he glares and turns around.

"Whatever."

He hears Isaac sigh. "Derek and I have lost our families too, Ethan. We understand." He pauses. "You're not alone."

Ethan almost turns around. Almost.

His fist burns as the glass shatters in front of him. He doesn't look like Aiden, not at all. Who was he kidding? Aiden was obviously better. He'd always been the stronger twin, the funny twin, the better twin- and now he's the dead twin. Aiden was probably going to have the happier future, the greater future- and now he doesn't even have one. All because of Ethan.

Ethan backs away from the broken mirror, stepping on broken glass until his back hits the wall. He slides down to the floor and stares at the glass in his fingers.

"Ethan! Oh my God Ethan, what happened?"

Ethan glances up at Danny's worried face. Weird, he didn't hear him come in.

"Ethan? Babe, you're bleeding everywhere-are you okay?"

Ethan stares at the floor. "It'll heal."

Danny sighs. "That's doesn't answer my question. Are you okay?"

Ethan raises his head, but doesn't meet Danny's eyes. "I'm fine."

"Then why are you crying?"

Ethan brings his hands to his face; they come back wet.

"Oh. I didn't know I was."

Danny cups Ethan's chin, gently turning Ethan's face towards him. "Ethan, you can't close me out now. I won't let you."

Ethan's eyes water. "I can't."

"Can't what?"

Ethan takes a deep breath. "I can't do this anymore. I can't-I can't do this. It's my fault. It's all my fault."

Danny brings Ethan into an embrace. "What do you want me to do, E?"

Ethan hides his face in Danny's neck. "I want- I need-"

"What do you need?"

Ethan leans back, meeting Danny's gaze.

"I need help."

Okay so I really wanted to continue this, so I did. I ended up getting inspired by a cold shower and Hey Now by London Grammar. Got me in the angsty mood, I guess.

Soooooo this was unbeta'd, and reviews are cherished(: