So I decided that I'm going to keep updating this story since I got a few responses an hour after I published it. BTW please guys try to review it I really want to know what you think. This is actually my first fanfic, and I enjoyed starting it since college is seriously pissing me off, I kinda need to do something other than studying when I'm alone !

Soooo I hope you didn't mind the Paily scene, I actually made it quite implicit because I didn't want to piss you guys off LOL.

Oh and also, if you'd like to talk to me directly about this story, you can find me on twitter, my username is NathEmisonian !

Here we go, enough with me blah blah-ying ;)

Emily's POV

Here she is, standing in Alison's porch. She's not sure coming here was a good idea, but she needs to confront Alison because she can't spend a happy Christmas unless she gets things clear with the blonde. So she does it. She rings the door bell, not caring that it's only 6 in the morning. Emily knows that Kenneth works very early so she knows that he's not home. She's practicing what she was about to say in the mean time. She was kind of nervous, because she haven't talked to Alison since Thanksgiving and she didn't really know how she's supposed to confront her. She decides that she will just say whatever she wants to say and get everything off her chest. She can't pretend like she doesn't care anymore, because she wants to know if Alison ever cared about her. She wants to know if Alison really is A, or was it just all a misunderstanding ?

She realized that no one was answering the door. She guessed that Alison was sleeping, so she rang the doorbell 10 times in a row to wake the blonde up. After 10 seconds, the door opens, and Alison is so sleepy that she doesn't even look into the window, she's just standing there brushing her eyes with her hands.

"E-Emily ?!", Alison practically screams, widening her eyes

"We need to talk", Emily says with a monotone voice

Emily was wondering why Alison seemed so freaked out by her sight. After a moment of staring contest, she finally speaks.

"Can I come in ?", she says, with the same monotone voice.

"Look, I've had enough police interrogation. I really don't need yours right now so if you're here to try to prove that I'm A, then you can just go.", Alison answers, with a voice that seemed so unemotional to Emily.

Emily looks at Alison for a moment, her face seemed so different now. She used to look so vulnerable, so needy when she first got back. But now, Emily couldn't tell what Alison was feeling anymore and that's partly why she was so confused.

"No, I mean.. yeah.. but Alison.. W-Why aren't you denying it ? Why aren't you trying to deny that... that you're A ?", Emily asks, stuttering.

Alison chuckles, or at least pretends to.

"So that's what you're waiting for ? You want me to beg you to believe me Emily ?"

Alison started to look so irritated, like she was so pissed off and Emily could see Alison finally letting out her old colours, or maybe her real ones...

"I... No ! It's not that... but.."

"But what Emily ? What ? No, I am no going to try to prove anything to you. Because there is no point of doing so. I thought you were by my side, I trusted you out of all people Em !"

"Bullshit Ali ! You may have trusted me out of the four of us, but not out of everyone ! How many people were helping you when I didn't even know you were alive ?", Emily shouted.

"Emily... don't shout. Just.. Come in"

She sits on the couch, still wondering if coming here was a good idea. Alison still haven't answered her question and the brunette thought maybe her former best friend was back on avoiding telling the truth, and that thought seriously pissed Emily off. Even though she knew she shouldn't expect Alison to turn out to be the trustful, misunderstood victim that she always kind of secretly thought she was, she still wanted to, and that pissed her off even more.

"You're still wearing yesterday's clothes."

"How do you even know that, Ali ?", Emily asks, but it sounds more of a statement than an actual question.

"I did see you at school"

The blonde walks towards Emily, looking down at the sitting brunette, crossing her arms on her chest.

"Did you even sleep at all ?", Alison adds.

"I have, and stop trying to change the topic", the brunette says, staring at the wall.

"I'm not trying to change the topic. But I thought you understood me, Em. I thought you knew that I was trying to keep you safe by not being around you. Asking for your help would have put you in danger and that was the last thing i wanted.", the blue eyed beauty says, sounding softer than earlier.

"Put me in danger from who, Ali ? Yourself ?", Emily asks the blonde, finally looking at her.

"Yes Em. That is so correct. I saved your life because I was going to kill you. I disappeared because I was scared of my own threats. I was on the run because I was running away from myself. I was didn't want to come back here because I was afraid I might find myself. That makes so much sense. Congrats Emily, you finally figured it out !", Alison shouts sarcastically, anger revealing from her words.

Emily drops her gaze to the floor, her hands now rubbing her face. She kind of believes the blonde. Not because she's naive, or stupid, or caught up in her emotions, but rather because Alison told her exactly what she was thinking herself, she already knew that all of the events she and her friends went through wouldn't make sense if Alison was A. She knew it, really, but nothing made sense anymore. To her, it was like at this point, anything could happen, and the fact that Alison is constantly lying since she got back confuses her. She doesn't know what makes sense anymore, and her friends were so convinced that Alison is A and that wasn't really helping her thinking the opposite.

"I... I know, Ali. I know that this doesn't even make sense... B-But I'm just lost ! I don't understand, I dont understand anything at all ! And now with Mona's death...", Emily stutters, but is cut by Alison.

"Oh, let me guess. I also killed her, right ? Because you know, I would've waited until you guys know that "I'm A" to actually do it while i could've done it already years ago."

Alison looks so angry. Emily could've sworn she saw fire in her eyes. It was the first time Emily saw Alison that angry, and the brunette could see the hurt in the blonde's eyes. It takes her just a sight of these sad blue eyes to feel completely destroyed. She wasn't exactly sure that she could trust Alison, but she wants to hold her in her arms, tell her that everything is okay, tell her that she believes her but she can't. She has to be stronger and smarter than that.

"Alison... Please don't make it hard on me. You know exactly why I'm putting my walls up.", Emily says sounding almost completely broken.

Alison looks down at the brunettes, and kneels to her to face her. She's now looking straight into the brunette's eyes and Emily feels her heart race at the blonde's gaze.

"Yeah, Em. I know. Because I already hurt you before. I already did that, right ?", the blonde whispers almost too softly.

Emily watches Alison as she speaks and she can feel her eyes starting to warm up. But she can't cry, and she won't cry. Not when she's much stronger, not after everything that she's been through. She feels Alison leaning closer to her, placing her hands on her thighs, her face now only inches away.

"But... I never intended to. I was confused, I didn't know what I was supposed to do with theses feelings... And I was hurt, too. I was hurt because I couldn't act on what I was feeling. I wasn't even realizing what was going on...", Alison adds, just as softly.

Emily can't help it. Alison's words are too overwhelming to her. She needs to hold the blonde tight while she can. She needs to smell her scent. She needs to feel her skin against her own. She needs to feel her heartbeat synching with her own. So she leans to her, and hugs her tight, and she doesn't care whether it's safe or not, she just needs it right now.

Emily feels Alison pulling away, looking straight into her eyes again.

"Wh... What's that ?", Alison asks in an accusing, yet calm tone.

"What what ?", Emily answers foolishly, she thinks.

"That smell. What is it ?"

The blonde's accusing tone is making Emily nervous. She doesn't really understand what Alison is talking about, so she just gives her an interrogative gaze.

"Emily, why did you come here ? Why did you make me open up to you while you're actually supposed to be wrapped into Paige's arms in her freaking bed right now ?", Alison snaps with anger.

Emily widens her eyes as she understands what the blonde is talking about, not really sure what to say.

"What ? I..I.. No ! Ali no, it's not ! It's not like that !", the brunette stutters nervously.

"Of course it is ! You're wearing yesterday's clothes, your make up looks old and you smell like... like something else, something that isn't you."

Alison gets up, pulling away from the brunette.

"Alison, this had nothing to do with why I'm here", Emily says getting up as well.

"Em, just go. I don't want you close to me right now."

Alison is not even looking at Emily, and the brunettes feels herself freeze. She wasn't expecting this, and she has no idea what to say to the blonde so she just stands here, still staring at her.

"Emily ! Please go ! Just go, please...", Alison almost begs, still not looking at the brunette.

Emily watches the blonde for about 3 more seconds, then decides that she should probably fulfill what Alison was asking her.

I know this wasn't exactly the Emison scene you'd like to get, but don't worry, we'll get there ;)

I hope you liked it ! If you didn't, it's okay, too :) but just tell me what you think, I'm looking forward to it !

Oh and the next chapter might be Alison's POV !

Thanks for reading, muaaaah to all my Emisonians 3