It's Just Research

A/N: Sorry it's so late I feel really shitty about that, but this chapter was rough going (It's kinda like a filler with some character development). Still, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter and co.

Previously: Not so gracefully Hermione climbed out of the fireplace and changed into pajamas not even bothering to think back on the day before falling asleep. For once she focused on her emotions and decided to just focus on the fact that she felt… content.

As soon as she woke up Hermione reached for her wand. It was habit, a reassurance that she still had it and that she was safe. With a sigh she slowly sat up letting out a loud groan. She did not feel like moving. Cradling her head in her hands she tried to think past the pounding in her skull. Hermione quickly recognized the signs of a hangover and casted a sobering charm that removed the remaining alcohol from her system, and vanished any lasting effects from the day before. She let out a sigh of relief as her head cleared and she returned to her normal, 'thank Merlin for sobering charms.'

Still feeling groggy she slipped the covers of her bed off and placed her shaky legs on the ground. Stretching and yawning she shuffled towards the kitchen where a hot cup of tea was waiting. Somehow she misjudged where her dresser was and managed to get a sharp jab in her side from the corner of it, causing her to jump back and land on a plastic bag. Grumbling to herself she took a step to the side and leaned down to pick up the very stupid, very annoying bag. This was not how her morning was supposed to go. She quickly checked the bag to make sure she didn't break whatever was in it she was brought to startling realization that this was the bag. The one she got last night.

She quickly dropped the bag and backed away from it as if it was some dangerous weapon. Great. Now, she had to send an owl to the boys telling them she wouldn't… she couldn't test out their products, and she had to explain that the night before she had been drinking and was feeling insecure and their products… 'Merlin… I can't believe I told them I'd try out their sex products! They probably think I'm bloody insane!' With a loud groan she tossed the bag away. She'd face the horrors of the bag after tea. And work. And dinner.

Settling herself down in the kitchen she murmured a few household spells Molly had taught her and within minutes she had a warm cup of tea and a piece of toast with jam on it sitting right in front of her. With a self satisfied smile she started thinking positively, she had read that the perfect way to start off every morning was to think about how great everything was. She had good food. And good tea. And a perfect breakfast all around. Plus, no house elf was slaving away to get her breakfast. She was self sufficient. She had a pretty flower on her table. The Daily Profit had already been delivered to her table by the owl (she had presubscribed so she didn't have to get up and pay every morning).

The only thing she would love to change is her table. Hermione hated her kitchen table, after all, she really didn't need this huge of a table.

Now realistically the table was an average sized rectangular cherry wood table, it would sit six people if needed. But Hermione rarely had one person over at her Flat not to mention six.

She really hated the table.

She should get rid of the table. It was just… her parents had given it to her…. But still she didn't like it and she shouldn't keep it if she didn't like it.

Maybe she could give it to Ginny and Harry as a baby shower gift. 'Oh, who wants a table as a baby shower gift?! No one in their right mind wants a table as a baby shower gift!' Hermione thought to herself munching on her toast.

'I could burn it,' she thought gleefully thinking of herself casting Infernos at the table and watching it as it burned. 'Or I could-'

A peaking sound broke Hermione out of her internal table rant; looking out the window she saw a huge black owl with spots of white on its wings. Smiling at the cute owl she quickly opened the window to let it in. Immediately it flew over to the table and sat itself down right next to her plate. She made sure to feed

it a bit of toast as a thanks before reaching down and untying the letter from its foot.

Dear Hermione,

As soon as Fred and I awoke this morning we knew we needed to send you a letter. Whatever happened last night means nothing, you do not have to, in any way shape or form follow through with the agreement we made. You were obviously not in your right mind and we'd appreciate if you returned the toys

Hermione could see that the word toys in the letter was heavily crossed out and replaced with merchandise.

merchandise at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

George (And Fred too)

P.S. Do you like our Owl? We named him Yuni (You-nee) because he reminded us of you!

Hermione smiled at how considerate George was, he knew what she was thinking and just what she needed to hear. She would send the… things home tonight. With a sigh she placed the letter on the table, only to notice there was some writing on the other side. Flipping the letter over she saw another message but this time to her from Fred.

Dear Hermione,

I really hate to bother you this morning but I would just like to tell you that you in no way, shape, or form have to test out our amazing sex toys. I mean it takes a lot of courage, and trust in us to have created safe products and I know you probably don't want to risk it. I completely understand, but just in case that Gryffendor courage comes out and you just have to try out our products I have a reservation at the Siren's Call on Monday so we can meet up to have dinner and discuss the products. Even if you just test out one… well, I hope to see you there at 8:00. Sincerely,

Fred (And George too)

P.S. I hope you like our owl! Its name is Yuni (You-nee) 'cause he reminds us of you! But make sure not to feed it any Human food, he has the worst digestion system known to owl kind. Cheers!

As she read the last line she heard an awful squelching noise and as she looked up she saw Yuni pecking at the toast and jam on her plate and pile of runny bird shit all over her stupid gigantic table.

"Alright, Yuni! Out! Out of my house you damn bird!" Hermione said fuming from Fred's letter. She slammed the window up and turned to see Yuni just staring at her with her big owl eyes and her head tilted to the side, silently asking what she did wrong, "Don't make me get the broom," Hermione threatened and with a rustle of feathers Yuni was up and out the window making sure to release another shit as she was flying above the apple tree directly across the street from Hermione's flat.

"Dumb bird," she muttered as she walked back to the table ignoring the owl shit and grabbing the letter. She reread each side two more times and each time she felt like screaming at Fred that she was Gryffendor enough to test the 'Naughty Witches' sex toys. That she wouldn't return them like George suggested.

She wasn't dumb, she knew it was reverse psychology, saying one thing but implying another. She also could tell that the reverse psychology was definitely affecting her. What she didn't know was what she wanted to do about it.

Was she to ignore it? That would be the smart thing, she reasoned as she paced back and forth. But another part of her was saying how she should turn it on them.

Hermione was brought out of her thoughts when her big, loud, annoying grandfather clock that she got from Molly chimed 8. She had to leave for the Ministry by 8:20 so she had enough time to get to the Department of Mysteries by 8:30. Seriously, that was how far away the Department of Mysteries was from the main entrance. Luckily, she only had to take one lift. It was just a really long lift. Hermione starting rushing around, throwing her frizzy hair into a ponytail and tossing on a pair of jeans and a random shirt. Her clothes weren't that big of a deal anyways, she made sure her department was relaxed and didn't have a uniform. To her the rule was that as long as their clothes could protect them in their experimenting they were okay to wear, because sometimes robes got in the way. Plus, she always had her Unspeakable robes to put over her clothes for any meetings she might have or any run-ins with the boss. As she rushed towards her fireplace Hermione tried not to think about when the last time she had a shower was, instead focusing on the fact that she had to be at work, in… the clock said that it was 8:22, so now!

Garbed in her Unspeakable robes with her hood covering her face, Hermione threw herself into the Floo and screamed "Ministry main entrance." After a minute when nothing happened she finally realized that she forgot to grab the powder. Huffing at herself she quickly grabbed a fistful of the sooty powder and threw it down.

Hermione tried to remain dignified as she stepped from the Ministry Floo Network, bits of soot covering her robes. She swept from the room, not just walking but gliding towards the lift. She could hear the room grow quieter as other Ministry workers turned to stare at her. For some reason Unspeakables were just so fascinating to them.

She wished she could run towards the lift as the door was shutting but there was certain protocol Unspeakables had to abide to in public and not running was part of that protocol. Still she waited, not tapping her foot like she wanted to because other people were waiting with her, and finally at long last she made it (only 3 minutes late). Hermione no longer paused before the big double doors leading towards the Department of Mysteries, the memories of the battle that took place here have long since been replaced with memories of what she has discovered here. Hermione took her wand out and placed it against a scanner that would clock how much time she spent here today before she entered.

As she passed the Time Room Hermione paid extra special attention to not making a show of herself. Her boss, Levina Monkstanley an extremely old cranky witch that should have retired years ago, was in there yelling at someone for breaking another Time-Turner. Monkstanley always got onto her about how much she worked and that she needed to use up some of her vacation time before they took it away and today Hermione was not in the mood for a lecture. A minute later she found herself standing in front of the Department of Magical Adaptation and Spell Work. Her department.

Four years ago she had gained a job as an Unspeakable and at the time she had started off small. Working in the Time Room was her first job, it was tradition for newbies, and she was proud to say that she excelled. It wasn't long before she was making her first proposition about a new department to Monkstanley and it took even less time for Monkstanley to approve it.

'I mean it was kind of a shock,' Hermione thought to herself, 'A Department of Magical Experimentation would have been the first department I'd have put in.' Monkstanley admitted to feeling a bit dumb at the fact that she hadn't thought of that before and shortly after Hermione opened her department several other departments were proposed. Like Finn's Department of Potion Modification, and Akio Satou's Department of Magical Transportation Acclimatization.

Hermione couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she stepped into The Department of Magical Adaptation and Spell Work. First she ran to her office and threw off her cloak, then she quickly began her rounds stopping by every station asking for updates and if they needed any help or more materials.

"Dylan," she greeted peaking over his shoulder not noticing how he stiffened or how his face seemed to grow pink at the proximity, "How are you?" Hermione asked as he closed his Latin dictionary and notes on Dementors.

"I'm… uh… fine."

"Good, good, any new progress?"

"Ah, yeah actually," Dylan said turning to face his boss, "You know how I'm working to adapt the Patronus charm so it not only repels Dementors but destroys them? Well, I believe that if I replace the hand movement, which is the base for the rune of light, with the base rune of fire we might just have it."

"Interesting, care to explain why?" Hermione questioned leaning against the desk he was working at.

"Uh, well you see light repels them and fire is light but fire call also harm and it's a different quality of light."

"Hmm, have you thought about where the memory fits in at all?"

"No, not at this time."

"Alright then you might want to look into that, good work though. I'll check in with you later," Hermione said with a grin before turning away, she only let the best onto her team and young Dylan had showed a lot of potential. Okay so he wasn't that young, only two years younger than her, but compared to her, and her life experience that felt young.

"Uh, Hermione? I mean Ms. Granger? Or, uh…."

"Hermione is fine, Dylan."

"Right, I was wondering… uh do you… want to… uh… go… study my notes and make sure I'm not missing anything?" Dylan was beat red and Hermione couldn't help but find that a little odd, he was usually so collected.

"Sure, I'll pick them up before I leave today," she said puzzled, no one normally made such a big fuss about her looking over their notes.

"Okay, uh… thanks. Hermione."

"You're welcome," she said before walking away. She couldn't help but think that things got weird fast.

As she entered her office she remembered that she needed to talk to Finn about multiplying a potion by ten, so she casted a voice projection spell and called her right hand woman, Jasmine Williams, to her. Jasmine was a young African-American girl from the States that was studying under her and several other Department runners for the next year so she could open up her own Department of Mysteries in America.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Jasmine, how many times will I have to tell you to call me Hermione?"

"Only a hundred times more," Jasmine teased with a grin, "Now, what can I help you with?"

"I need to visit, Mr. Goldspen for a moment about a new research opportunity can you just watch over everyone and make sure no one catches the department on fire, again?" Hermione asked already exiting the room.

"I'll do my best but I learned no one can truly control you Unspeakables," Jasmine said causing Hermione to let out a barking laugh.

"True, Jas, very true. I'll be back soon!" she called before exiting her office. Quickly she ran out of the department praying to Merlin that no one would stop her and ask her to look over their project. She managed a lucky escape from her Unspeakables and quickly walked down the hall to the Finn's department.

As she knocked on the door she heard screams of "Duck and cover!" "We got a code yellow! CODE YELLOW!" "Ready the hose!" which caused her to back away a few steps. A minute passed and after a series of banging and sizzling noises Finn opened the door and greeted her with blackened hair and a charred smile.

"Sorry 'bout that, we 'ad uh… bit of situation. Nothing we can't handle though, I assure you it's all fine. All perfectly fine."

"Good to hear, Finn," Hermione said smiling at her friend.

"Right-O! So what are you here for today, 'Mione?" He said opening the door all the way so Hermione could come in.

"Well, yesterday I met up with some old friends of mine, you know the Weasley brood I take it?" The two began strolling around the many cauldrons ignoring the large black circle where it seems one used to be.

"Uh, yeah. I kinda know 'em. I've heard of most of 'em," Finn said a smirk playing across his lips.

"Well, the twins, Fred and George, have a joke shop. Surely you've heard of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes?"

"Ah, yes! My nephew goes their all the time, he says that their products are brilliant!"

Hermione smiled, "Well, they are. But they're having bit of a production issue. You see they need more products than they can afford to make. So I was wondering what the likely hood of being able to multiply a potion by say two… or ten times would be…." Hermione trailed off looking away from Finn.

Finn was taken completely aback, Hermione knows how dangerous potions are, "'Mione. We're talking unstable joke potions. Being multiplied by tens?! That… that's crazy! Utter insanity!"

"I know, I know, I just really want to help them. They seemed so desperate!"

"'Mione," Finn chided taking her arm and tugging her to a stop, "You didn't let me finish. It's crazy, it's insane, and it is just the type of experimentation I want to do! I haven't had a good project like that in weeks!"

"Oh… oh! You're saying yes. You mean you'll do it?!"

"Yes! Of course I will! This will be bloody brilliant!"

Hermione couldn't help but clap her hands excitedly, "Gods, do you want me to help? No offense, but I'm better at charm work than you and for some reason I think this is going to need a combination of everything," Hermione said speaking quickly.

"Well… I suppose I could use the help of the most brilliant witch I know…."

Hermione let out a girlish squeal before giving him a hug, "Oh, Merlin, this is going to be the most brilliant thing ever. When do you want to start?"

Finn's smile turned uncomfortable, "Well… uh we could start tonight—"

"Okay, perfect! I can be here—"

"Wait, Hermione, we could start tonight. But we need to stop early, cause… uh… my boyfriend is visiting. He, uh, works out of country and He's coming in for a week tonight."

Hermione smiled, thank Merlin Ginny told her earlier or she would be taken completely by surprise, "That's fine, we can stop whenever you want!"

"Look I know it's weird but—wait, what?"

"I get it, you need to see your boyfriend. We can stop whenever you want."

"Okay... thanks," Finn shot her grin and they started walking again, "So, let's talk about the runes we want to focus on here…."

For the next hour they covered runes until another accident occurred. After that Finn rushed back to work and Hermione realized she needed to get back to her own Department.

Hermione spent the rest of the day doing paperwork, looking over notes, and occasionally researching runes for her own project.

Finally, 5 o'clock arrived and the Unspeakables, slowly but surely began to leave. By 6 o'clock only Jasmine, Dylan, and Blaise Zabini were left.

"Alright, time to clear out," 'Mione called to the group, but none moved. "I mean it you guys, it's 6 o'clock, leave." With a huff Blaise slammed his books down.

"I'm so fucking close, Granger. I can practically taste it!" She didn't take offense to how he was talking to her, he didn't mean it like that. He was just stressed. He was working hard find a way to remove the Dark Mark so she gave him a thin smile and nodded.

"Taste it tomorrow, Zabini, I bet you've been in here since 7. And I bet you skipped lunch. Working 11 hours straight isn't healthy. Go eat, get some sleep, and come back tomorrow."

With a nod and a haunted look in his eye Blaise harshly grabbed his books and left.

"What about you two?" she asked Dylan and Jasmine. A long moment of silence passed and as soon as Dylan was about to say something Jasmine opened her mouth.

"I looked at your file," Jasmine said and when Hermione sent her a confused look she set down her journal and turned to face her, "I looked at your file. When you were working in the Time Room you worked over time every. Single. Day. And you're brilliant! The youngest person to ever start a Department. If I want to be half as great as you I need to work as hard as you! If not harder, since I wasn't head of my class like you were." Jasmine said sounded frantic. Hermione looked down at her with a sad smile before turning towards Dylan.

"What are you waiting for, Dylan?"

"Oh. I was just waiting so I could walk up with you."

"That's very nice but I need to talk to Jasmine for a bit. Why don't you head up?" He looked disappointed but nodded and walked away.

Immediately Hermione sat herself across from Jasmine, "Jasmine," she said with a sigh but the girl wouldn't look up from her notebook. "Jas," the girl still wouldn't look up, "Jassy! Just listen to me! Look, there are a lot of things files don't tell you. Like…" Hermione's voice wavered slightly, "how many boyfriends I've had."

Now, this caught Jasmine's attention, "Wait, what?"

"I've had one boyfriend my entire life. I mean sure, since we've broken up I've gone on dates and what not, but I've never found someone that stuck out to me as much as him. And do you know why we broke up? He left me because I was never around. And even when I was around I wasn't there. Jasmine, you have no idea, no clue, how much I miss him and how much I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to go home on time and just talk to him! To tell him that I love him and that I appreciate him. Somehow, all that over time I spent in the Time Room never taught me how to do that." Jasmine still didn't look convinced, "You know three days after we broke up he had a new girlfriend? They say they met purely by chance and it was all 'love at first sight' but who really believes that? Not me. So Jas, just out of curiosity, do you have a boyfriend?"

Jasmine bit her lip and nodded, "Well, yeah. Back in America."

"And when was the last time you floo-ed?" Hermione could see the realization dawn on her and watched as Jasmine's face fell.

"It's been awhile."

"Yeah? Well, why don't you go talk to him? He probably misses you." Jasmine started to get up before she paused looking longingly at her books, "It'll be here tomorrow." Hermione reminded her and with that Jasmine shot out of her chair, gave Hermione a hug and ran out of the room.

With a sigh Hermione grabbed her cloak from her office and walked over to Finn's Department, they had both agreed to work there for today.

"'ermione!" Finn greeted as soon as she walked in, "I've been wondering when you were going to show up! All my crew left at 5."

"Yes, well, I have a few stubborn ones that like to work overtime," 'Mione said good naturedly, "Now, let's get started…."

Nearly 2 hours passed as they worked hard and checking and rechecking what worked and what didn't. Eventually they agreed on four runes to base the spell off of. The rune of replication, the rune of clarity, a weak rune of individualizing, and a strong combination rune. The clarity rune was supposed to be a safety rune but that reacted negatively with…

"'Mione, I don't know how many more runes I can take!" Finn cried his short dirty blonde hair a disheveled mess.

"Oh come on, Finn," Hermione muttered teasingly as she continued to copy down their hurried notes in more legible handwriting, "We haven't even gotten to the Latin yet." Finn threw himself down groaning and crying about how this was why he worked with potions not spells. Despite having to do a lot of research for potions it was still more hands on experimenting than spells. Spells you had to do a lot of core research before you started casting.

Suddenly, a fully fledged Patronus came gliding into the room, or maybe flying would be a more accurate term. The Patronus was a dragon, which breed she couldn't tell, but it would occasionally spit fire at the darker areas in the room. Stopping in front of Finn the dragon opened its mouth and a familiar voice began echoing around the room.

"Okay, listen babe I had this whole plan about how I was going to surprise you at work and we were going to fulfill that one dirty fantasy of yours once and for all, but then I realized that the bitchy secretary wasn't going to let me come down and surprise you because you're an Unspeakable and your workplace is Unspeakable and I can't speak about you. So, I decided to wait. Anyways, waiting is boring so stop working and get your sweet arse up here so I can get the 'welcome back to the country' that I deserve."

The dragon then gave one last spit of fire before it dissolved into sparkles. Hermione felt her cheeks warm slightly but couldn't help the giggle that escaped. "Wow… okay, if you ever do fulfill whatever dirty fantasy you have at work can you floo me before hand and tell me not to go into work that day?"

Finn looked completely mortified as he stared at where the Patronus had been just seconds before. "Uh, I think it's time to go…."

Hermione let out another laugh before she started gathering their materials. "So when do you want to meet up again?"

"Well, my boyfriend is meeting his family on Tuesday and uh today is…?"

"Saturday," Hermione filled in as they walked down the corridor towards the lift.

"So, I'm going to be out until Tuesday… but if you start working on the Latin I will be much more productive… I swear it!" Finn says as he presses the lift button for the main floor.

"Mmm hmm, whatever you say. But… uh, just out of curiosity, who is your boyfriend?"

"Oh, 'is name is…" the lift made a dinging noise and stopped on the main floor, she watched the door slowly slide open to reveal a rugged red head leaning against a wall, "Charlie Weasley. You 'eard of 'im?"

Hermione's jaw dropped open as Finn swept from the lift. Merlin's Mother, she knew there was something familiar about that Patronus! Even the voice was familiar! Merlin she is so stupid! She stepped from the lift right before the doors started to close. Why was she so surprised? Charlie never showed any interest in girls, at all! It made perfect sense.

"Well, I'll see you on Tuesday, 'Mione! Cheers!" Finn said before strutting over to his boyfriend.

"Bye," she muttered quietly still staring at the second oldest Weasley.

She watched from afar as Finn quickly walked up to Charlie and attacked his mouth. She felt like a stalker but couldn't look away. No one else was in the main entrance right now, after all it was almost 8 and if someone was still in the ministry they were here for the long haul.

Charlie pulled Finn closer and she watched as his hand dipped lower. Merlin, pretty soon they'd be fucking! Hermione felt her breath hitch as Finn pushed Charlie harder against the wall so he was pinned while Finn trailed his mouth up and down his neck. Charlie tilted his head so Finn had better access and it gave him a perfect view of Hermione.

Wide eyed and flushed it was obvious that she was staring at the couple and Charlie's lips twisted into a smirk. He leaned up and whispered something into Finn's ear. Suddenly, Finn was grinding against Charlie which caused moans to echo across the loud room.

'Okay,' Hermione decided, 'this is a little too much.' So with that she ran to one of the many fireplaces lining the hall and floo-ed out of there.

As soon as she appeared in her living room she dropped everything.

"Merlin, what an in-fucking-sane day," she muttered tugging her shoes off and plopping on the couch. As soon as she laid down on the couch memories assaulted her.

Last night, with her agreeing to test the toys. This morning her indecision about the toys. This afternoon with how much work they got down on the boys' potion spell thing. Then just now with Finn and Charlie's porn star worthy performance.

All she could think about was sex.

Sex toys.

Helping the boys that gave her sex toys.

Two really, really, hot guys having sex.

Her having some decent sex.

Using sex toys to mimic having decent sex.

Sex.

Sex.

Merlin, she sounded like a hormonal teenage boy.

Hermione huffed closing her eyes. Immediately certain images came to mind.

Charlie pulled Finn closer to him tugging at his shirt and kissing him frantically letting him know just how much he's missed him….

NO! Bad Hermione! You can't think of your friend and his hot boyfriend (which is coincidently your ex-boyfriend's brother) having sex. It's wrong. Hermione let out a huff but didn't open her eyes...

Suddenly the two boys were in a bedroom, Finn tugging off Charlie's shirt and now it's skin on skin. Charlie is more frantic as he practically rips the buttons off of Finn's button down.

It's bad. It's really bad… but it doesn't feel bad. And they'll never know….

Hermione bit her lip and got up from the couch. She couldn't sit still she had to…

Pacing back and forth she somehow ended up back in her bedroom having a stare down with a plastic bag.

'I mean it takes a lot of courage, and trust in us to have created safe products and I know you probably don't want to risk it.' Fred's words came back to her and she felt herself start to waver, 'in case that Gryffendor courage comes out….'

And then the decision was made.

'Fuck you, Fred and George Weasley. Fuck you to the deepest pits of Hell.'