Religion and Money

For some unknown and very strange reason I've been thinking about religion lately. I claim to be unreligious. Except for the ever present voice in my head that happens to be God. Don't ask me why I'm being a hypocrite. I wish I could tell you. Then again, it's no ones damn business I guess.

Yeah, there is a thing in my head that calls himself God. And no, I refuse to believe there is a higher being that would allow people like me and people like Aurel to exist. Funny thing that I'm sitting right here and existing. I mean what the hell? Do these supposed "higher beings" have a shitty sense of humor or what?

I'm not laughing.

I always figured my head wasn't screwed on tight enough. Or I'm just a raving lunatic. Both maybe. Probably.

After the little incident with Aurel, I sort of stayed away from the church. Actually, I stayed away from that side of Prontera. Mostly I've stayed around the south end of the city with Lucky. Who the hell is that? A boring merchant girl that reminds me of me sometimes. She's an apprentice at a blacksmith shop. I don't know why she stays here. The smith she's supposed to be learning from is an idiot.

So anyway, here I am at the shop doing absolutely nothing. I suppose I could go out and find some work, but then again, I'm trying to stay out of public view for a little while. My line of work isn't exactly going to help me lay low.

"I am so fucking bored, Lucky."

She glanced up from her ledger and shrugged. "And you want me to do what?"

"I don't know. All you've been doing is sitting there behind the counter with your nose in that ledger. Take a break or something. It's not like Darren will notice. Besides, he's gone right now." I walked up and leaned on the counter in front of her. "I can always hit him in the head really hard if he does notice. Surely that'll make him forget."

Her expression was one of horror.

"What?" I asked.

"You are not going to do anything to Darren. My parents would kill me if you did something to him. Do you want me dead?"

"I'm sure you'll go to heaven. You always behave for some reason. It's kind of weird." It's true though. I've never seen a teenage girl that didn't act like a mini bitch from hell with a serious attitude problem. While I'm glad she isn't like that, I still think she's weird.

She rolled her eyes. "Heaven? Oh please. I forgot that you're religious though. With the voice and stuff." She set down her pen and regarded me with a look I don't see from her too often. She doesn't usually express her opinions or give much fight about anything. She pretty much lets people walk all over her. Which, by the way, I hate. I can't help but be reminded of myself. I like her enough that I don't want her to end up the way I have.

"Oh hell. What did I let loose now?" I could tell she wanted to say something.

"Not much...I guess. I just don't see why you believe in religion. Or anyone else for that matter."

Maybe this is why I've been thinking about religion. Do I defend it or not, I wonder. "Believe me, I really want to say I'm not religious, but I can't."

"Tell me this, Sable. What has religion done for anyone? Does he put money in your pocket?" she asks.

I shook my head. She's got a good point and one I agree with. God seems to be disappointed. He gets that way when I come across those who have no faith whatsoever. I don't feel sorry for Him. It's not their fault they don't have any faith.

"You want to know what I believe in, Sable?"

"Sure do."

"I believe in money." Of course she does. I could have guessed that in a second. Being the daughter of a merchant, and a merchant herself, money was her way of life.

"Money is the only thing that makes this world run. It puts food in your stomach and a roof over your head. Does God feed the starving or give a damn about the sick? No. Does he care that you've been so abused and taken advantage of your whole life? Does he even care about you at all, Sable?" She went quiet then. I think she surprised herself. Hell, she surprised me.

I liked that underneath her subdued exterior there was at least a flicker of passion about something.

Then there was an unmistakable feeling of grief inside me. Lucky seemed to hit the nail on the head. I wasn't my own grief, but that of the presence in my head. Sometimes, I want to sympathize with him, but I can't. It isn't just my disgruntled view on religion that makes me doubt God's existence. I've always tried to convince myself that these higher beings care about me and everyone else. I never did quite make myself believe that. Lucky's words only proved my point.

If God existed, then why would he let some people suffer like they do? Well damn, if he doesn't exist, then that means I am a crazy woman. I lose either way.

"I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that," she murmured. She stood, grabbed the ledger and placed it on a shelf behind her. She turned around abruptly with a mystified look as I started to laugh.

"I can't help it. You're so weird. Nice to see some fire in you once in a while, kid," I told her.

She frowned. "Well, let's do something while Darren is out.

I knew she'd give in.

A/N: I dunno if I like this one. This just turning into Sable and Lucky drabbles. Anyway, there is more to Sable than what's in the first chapter. I think I'm going to write something about her personality on my blog because these shots just don't capture her fully.