A/N: Well, here comes the next chapter of my EVA/KH crossover. It still takes place in the AU universe so…yeah. Hopefully more people will like it and review this time…but I'm not expecting much. It is my first fic in a new fandom and it's been a while since the last one so I really shouldn't expect a lot. But before we get onto the story let me answer a few questions and/or comments my reviewers left.
Alex Ikari: Thanks for mentioning the things you found enjoyable. As for the harem, that's a bit of a toss-up. The "main" one is definitely Asuka/Rei, but there will be a lot more what with all the worlds they'll be traveling across. Expect "mega harems." I do this mainly for fun and also to spoof the other harems found in various other EVA fics. And I actually give a reason for them, though now for a while.
Himonky: I did clichés on purpose. That's the point of this story, it's a spoof. Also, I am trying to mix more serious parts along with the humor, as you'll see particularly in this chapter. Also, yay! This chapter is shorter! ...sort-of.
Hamstadi: Spoof, spoof, spoof. Ironically though, I wrote the script for this before I read "Everydays," which is a very good fic regardless. However, I think the style is easy to emulate considering the more insane, less depressing point of the situation. Or I'm just blowing it out my ass, eh.
Thank you to the rest of my reviewers!
Disclaimer: I do not own either Evangelion or Kingdom Hearts. I'll say what other series I don't own as they come up. That way I won't have to waste space with a dumb disclaimer.
Organization XVIII
Chapter 2: Apocalyptic World (or) Gee, It Was Never This Dark Before
By Irritus185
As a famous, fictional, all-too-adorable, quote/one-liner spewing movie retard once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you might get." However, the author disagrees with this sentiment and philosophy. He instead believes that life is like a watch.
It's got all kinds of shiny metal parts and gears and sproingy things and people are always arguing whether digital or analog is better and when it stops working you just want to take it and begin to bash it with something because you're between wanting to just utterly destroy it or have a skewed notion that smacking it like the family room TV will make it start working again.
…
Okay, so maybe life isn't so much like a watch after all – except for the bashing something to pieces part. That appears to be a concept all too common to all forms of life.
Shinji was feeling like that at this one particular moment. He had a problem he wanted to solve, and he was wracking his brains to figure out the right way to go through the equation and come up with a satisfactory answer.
The problem had two variables. One was a beautiful girl that was sometimes naked, sometimes in bed with him, and oftentimes performing both actions at once. The other was a beautiful girl that always took the time to come over and wake him up so that he wouldn't be late for school but oftentimes beat him back into unconsciousness so that he missed school or was late for it anyway.
Now normally adding one beautiful girl to one beautiful girl would logically make a very happy Shinji, or perhaps an even hotter girl with penchant to nudity and S&M tendencies if you threw quantum physics into the equation. However, considering that this is not mathematics and more of a psychology dilemma, Shinji was unfortunately receiving a continual lecture in pain and humility. So what could he possibly do to relieve such anxieties?
Shinji thought hard and long all day and night and came up with the solution.
If constant A (Shinji) plus variable B (Rei) plus variable C (Asuka) equaled ouchies and booboos then removing constant A (Shinji) would remove the ouchies and booboos factor. Yes! He knew those long, tedious hours in algebra would amount to something!
So he made his plans and waited for bedtime to come about. His plan was igneous, well-thought out, and ready for any discrepancies to occur.
First he would create a dummy, creatively made of a rolled up blanket, a wig, and some makeup for good measures. Then he would sneak downstairs, making sure that anyone down there would see him heading back upstairs to show that he was going to his room.
But he wouldn't go to his room, no he wouldn't! He would slip into the hall bathroom, climb out the window, navigate the treacherous way to the roof, and find the blanket and pillow he had laid out earlier waiting for him.
It was brilliant! It was genius! It could not fail!
Shinji smiled widely as he imagined the gentle and quiet wake-up that he always dreamed of.
And so, the boy woke up the next morning, sans a naked Rei clinging to him, sans an angry and jealous Asuka yelling at him, and completely soaked to the bone as there had been a large and brutal rain shower the night before.
But at least he didn't have ouchies or booboos.
OTOTOTOTOT
"Ahhh-CHOO!"
Asuka glanced at the boy, her features a mix of concern, disgust, and amusement. He was hunched over slightly, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand. His eyes were slightly baggy and his cheeks fairly flushed. All together Shinji looked a whole lot of miserable with some crappy tossed on the side for good measure. She sighed and fished for a second in her pocket, pulling out a polka-dotted handkerchief. She offered it to him silently.
He smiled and accepted it gratefully. He held it up to his nose and blew noisily, earning a flinch from the redhead in return. "Thanks, Asuka," he muttered nasally.
She snorted. "Honestly, you immense idiot. What the heck were you thinking, getting soaked like that?"
"To my understanding he did it so that he would avoid the conflict that normally occurs in the morning between the three of us." Rei added in her own two cents. She was obviously worried about him as well, he eyes a bit brighter and her face a bit softer than it normally was. "Though I must admit it was flawed in many areas."
"I thought it was a smart idea."
"And look where it got you! You should the thinking up to me, Shinji. It's obviously not your forte."
Shinji shivered and glanced at the girl in defiance. "Says the person who still has trouble reading and writing our language even though she's lived here for most of her life."
He was still frustrated and grumpy from the failure of his plan, and the double team of both Asuka and Rei rubbing it in did help to calm his emotions. Normally the redhead and azurehead didn't agree on much, much like the colors that represented them. Asuka was fiery and rushed into confrontations without thought, relying on her wit, skills, and brutal strength to get her through unharmed. Rei, on the other hand, approached the situation much more calmly and passively, meticulously calculating what would need to happen to secure an airtight victory.
This was not at all cheap foreshadowing of the author's doing.
Shinji vaguely heard disturbing laughter echoing in the recesses of his thoughts. He shook his head.
However, when it came to him, they often threw away their…creative differences to make a united front. When Shinji was involved, all else would be cast to the side to utterly make his life as controlled as possible. With two conniving females against his own feeble male mind, the poor boy did not stand a chance. He also would have had even less probability of even surviving had he even thought of voicing his conception of the "conniving females."
For that matter the author as well.
Asuka blinked, her mouth setting into a pout and her cheeks gaining a light red tint. She did not appreciate the low blow her childhood friend had directed at her. "Kanji is hard! Besides, I still get better grades than you, baka! Best of the class in fact."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Shinji, are you bothered? Your attitude suggests that your emotional status is less than satisfactory." Rei shifted her head the slightest towards Shinji, catching Asuka's eyes at the same time.
"Gee, Rei, how'd you notice that? Your observational skills must be great to notice something so small." Shinji suddenly stopped as twin looks of surprises appeared on Asuka's and Rei's faces. Shinji never, never snapped at Rei. It was something that he reserved for Asuka, a banter between the two that had been cultivated and nurtured over years of arguments and fights. Rei was always someone he spoke more in a passive manner with. It suited the soft-spoken duo better.
Shinji paused for a moment, staring down at his feet. What was wrong with him? Lately he had felt so bothered, so out of place. That dream the day before, the one that he had managed to gather bits and pieces of, had been so strange and unnerving. Despite the fact that it was more akin to the result of bad food-poisoning, not that there's such a thing as good food-poisoning but depending on the hallucinations accompanying it can go either way (Gundams in frilly pick aprons battling in an Iron Cook-off are a bit of a toss-up between the simply bizarre and the hilarious), there was still something about the dream that had burrowed around in his brain.
Of course, this set off numerous amounts of meta-alarms in his mind, reminding him that it was like a bad cliché of a plot from a manga or video game. But what kind weirdo based their ideas for a reality off something like those (certain fanfiction authors notwithstanding)?
Shinji was a lot of things, but someone who purposefully went out of their way to create tension he was not. The kind he made with Asuka was a different story, as it usually ended very quickly with him either eating some inanimate object or some other action detrimental to his health. Thus it affected no one but him, except for the times when Touji and Kensuke were involved and that ended with a whole lot of crying, high pitched solos, and sorely stretched fabric. But the kind that had larger implications, the kind with world-shattering consequences, was not something he enjoyed and would rather avoid less he be dragged in.
Once again, cue ominous laughter.
Shinji rattled his head lightly. That was starting to get annoying.
He finally looked up from the ground and back at the two girls. Each flanked his side, the trio lodged in a busy sidewalk down the main avenue of the prefectures marketplace. Various people maneuvered around them, ignoring them as they had more important things to, signified by the fancy watches on their wrists that told the time and date and place and ambient temperature and stopped working and why was it not working and did he have to smash it to a million pieces to – ARGH!
Shinji, Asuka, and Rei looked nervously at the businessman raving about cheap, counterfeit watches and seedy sellers and why did this stuff always happen to him, and slowly decided they should move away from the whole scene. They began walking faster than before to try to make up for the time lost when they had stopped.
He tried a flimsy smile. "Sorry, Rei. I didn't mean to talk like that."
She nodded, her crimson eyes never straying from his cobalt blue ones. "That is alright. I understand you are troubled at times. Is it because of back-up that you are currently on edge? I know that it must be hard to release yourself with me always around." She put a finger to her chin and looked up pensively. "Or does that just make it easier?"
Shinji appeared utterly confused by her statement. Asuka, catching upon the indirect meaning quickly, elbowed Shinji in the ribs and leered suggestively. "Really, baka-boy? A pervert like you worried about someone catching you in your throes of passion? I'd think wondergirl was right and you'd be looking forward for someone to see you."
Shinji's face screwed up even more before realization finally dawned on his face immediately followed by disgust and embarrassment. Ah, takes a while for him to catch on things, doesn't he? Such a naïve little bugger.
"You guys are perverted!"
Rather childish, too.
Asuka cackled wildly, sparing another glance at Rei. "That was good, wondergirl. I didn't think you had it in you to tease baka-Shinji here."
"I wasn't teasing him. I was honestly interested if he had a physiological ailment and if it needed to be cured." She turned her head and looked at Shinji, her apathetic expression remaining perfectly straight. "Do you require any help for that matter, Shinji? I would be happy to offer my assistance if so."
Both Shinji and Asuka stopped at that point, their faces equaling an 8.6 on the AEM.
The AEM is short for Anime Embarrassment Meter. An ingenious tool created by a young anime viewing crackpot with both way too much pocky and time on his hands (of course the creator was guy; you expect a girl to be stupid enough to create crap like this?; oh, wait, disregard that notion). The scale runs through a variety of factors but mainly settles on the point of what type of embarrassment is being displayed (sexual, old family photos, personal hygiene) as well as the type of anime and character the embarrassing moment is being made in and from. A 1 on the meter equates to a snoring problem. A 5 is when you finally stop wetting the bed after graduation…of your high-school. Anything over 7 usually starts to form irreversible hemorrhaging in the face and brain and is considered very rare. What these two delightful characters have just achieved has probably led to the destruction of all childhood memories spanning over several months. Say goodbye to Christmas, kiddies.
Asuka was the first to regain motor control after being poleaxed by that comment. "Wondergirl, you blue-haired freak! I knew you were kinky like that when you crawl into Shinji's bed every night!" She didn't even look back at Shinji, nor did she fail to keep her voice down and thus regale her friends' nighttime habits to the entire marketplace. Ooo…the Ikari household was going to receive a few calls from the neighborhood association for that one. "Shinji, aren't you going to say anything?!"
Shinji at the moment was decisively not paying attention to his surroundings. Instead he was lost in the realm of fantasy where he was enjoying the company of a barely morally dressed Rei as well as a penguin, some horseshoes, and some several tons of other various objects not meant for the proceeding actions when people thought of them.
"But I don't like whipped cream."
Oh, wait, that was always meant for that reason.
Asuka apparently didn't like whipped cream either, except for when it was on her ice cream and not on the other icy, rainbow-colored body. Besides, what was wrong with strawberry? It was a perfectly good flavor. Blueberry was just too…
And now we are getting away from the situation in hand and shall stop before even more repressed feelings are brought to light. Shinji still has to survive long enough for the story to actually get good.
Unfortunately, the fist locked onto his skull after that gregarious comment did not agree with the previous sentiment. Shinji soon found himself smashed into a dark alleyway, something that was not at all foreboding.
"See you got in a fight with the little cutie there huh, kid?"
Shinji looked up to see a being cloaked in shadows offer him a hand. The figure chuckled at his wariness to accept. "Don't worry, I'm not about to do anything. I don't feel like being assaulted by either of your friends." It jerked its head in the direction Shinji had flown in from. He saw that Asuka was in a one-way shouting contest with Rei, the quieter girl answering…not so loudly.
Shinji stilled seemed unsure. The figure sighed. "All right. If I stop acting so mysterious, will you believe me?" A small nod was his answer. "Fine…"
The figure stepped out, revealing an average height male decked out in black, baggy cargo pants and a black sweatshirt that hung below his waist halfway to his knees. His messy brown hair fell over his eyes, a swirling mass of colors that was slightly obscured by a set of thin, rectangular glasses.
"Am I on the money now?"
Shinji blinked at the man's seemingly bored and apathetic attitude. It was almost like looking at a male version of Rei. That by itself was visually disturbing enough but there was one more thing that was bothering Shinji, an idea on the very boundaries of his mind before it expressed itself via him sticking a foot in his mouth rather than out.
"I don't trust people wearing hoodies."
The man nodded his head. "Ah…good point, good point. Yeah, they're not very trustworthy people. Hate that Prophecy Fairy. Damn Union ruins pretty much everything it touches. That's why I like being a self-employed kind of guy."
Shinji nodded in agreement and then froze halfway through. His face settled on shock and the pit of his stomach felt like someone had slapped several gallons of seltzer water in it. It was really rather cold. "Wait. How do you know about that? I never-"
"Oh?" The man rolled his eyes up, a thin smile curling up his lips. "I know everything, especially you…Ikari Shinji."
That cold feeling shifted from his stomach to up his spine, effectively paralyzing the poor boy. He wanted to back up but found that he couldn't. How did this man know who he was? Was he some kind of stalker? Was he going to kill him and then gut his body to sell his organs on the black market? Or maybe stuff him and use him as a decorative piece for his den? Or maybe kidnap him and then hunt him down as the world's most dangerous prey? Or maybe…
"Jeeze, kid, you've been reading too many creepy books." Shinji looked up at him, his eyes wide as he wondered how the man had heard what he was thinking…before realizing he had been almost screaming the spew to anyone within earshot. Why no one outside the alleyway couldn't hear it was beyond him.
"Writer's convenience. Anyway, do I look like the type of guy who would do something like that?" He paused as Shinji glared at him in disbelief. "Right, creepy guy in an alleyway who you've never met before but supposedly knows everything about you. Never mind, don't answer that. On to more important matters…" He cupped one hand, pounding it with a fist made with the other. Shinji took this as his sign to press his questioning.
"What do you want with me?"
"Your soul."
"What?!"
"Wait, sorry, sorry. That came out wrong. Hey, wait, you can't run away!" He sighed as Shinji took off with a puff of dust trailing behind him. "Why do they always run when I tell them that? Oh, right…archetypes" He snapped his fingers.
Shinji could see himself reaching for the light – almost there, almost there. What he failed to notice was that with every step his shadow became invariable longer. Just as he was about to step out into the street dark hands exploded from the ground, grabbing his legs. Another set covered his mouth, making it so that he couldn't scream. More and more hands appeared, dragging him back into the alleyway and plastering him to the wall. The man nodded.
"There. Now you can't run away." Shinji glared at him, half-defiant and half-piss-his-pants scared. "Look, if I let go of your mouth can we have a peaceful conversation? I promise that I won't do anything to hurt you. I just want to talk." Shinji did nothing for a few moments and then slowly nodded. The man smiled. "Good." He snapped his fingers again and the hands covering Shinji's mouth vanished back into the shadows. "Now, back to what I was saying, I want your soul."
"You just said you didn't mean that."
"I lied. Well, not really. I don't want your soul, I have no real use for that. I mean, honestly, what am I gonna use a soul for? They're not a common currency, and they're ghastly decorations unless you're into that whole Faust and Mephisto crap. What I want is what your soul can do. You have a rather interesting character, Shinji, one that intrigues me to no bounds. And because of that, I want to use you for something."
"And that is…"
"To open a door. And through that door is a quite amazing adventure. Danger, perils, humor, and if you're lucky maybe even a little lovin'." He winked suggestively at this.
"What if I don't want to?"
"Oh, it's too late for that. That dream you had? That means the adventure's already started. It's too late to turn back now, I made quite sure of it."
Shinji's eyes opened wide. "You what?! But why?!"
"Because I was bored," he said, his face stating that it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And like I said, you interest me. I think you make quite the perfect choice for this job."
"But I…"
"Look, kid." The man poked him in the chest, his face strangely serious. "The game has started. It won't finish until you end it. Those that are close to you, those that are precious, they are all pieces in that game. If you run away, they will disappear, and you will never see them again. The darkness is moving and it is consuming the weakness everyone has inside. Including those close to you."
Shinji froze. Those…close to him would disappear. That was…that was…Wait, would that mean he wouldn't have to worry about all the crap he went through on a daily basis? Because that didn't sound half-bad actually. To be honest, it would be nice to go a day without Rei sleeping with him or Asuka laughing at him or Kaoru acting all elitist or father stoically ignoring him or mother being all silly and fussing over him or Touji and Kensuke thinking up some cockamamie plot or Hikari yelling for them all to be proper…
And…And…
"And it will all be gone. Everything."
Shinji closed his eyes. Then he opened them.
"What can I do?"
The man smiled. "You have a special power, Shinji. It forms the shape of your soul. Whether it is strong or weak, good or evil is all up to you. The darkness consumes and the light is what ultimately destroys that darkness but creates it, too. Not everything is what it seems and not everything will be clear to you, even over the endless drifts of time." He poked the boy in the chest, grinning in amusement. "As clichéd and corny as it sounds, your heart is your greatest weapon. Use it, be guided by it, and never let it be taken over. You can't run away, Ikari Shinji, you have to keep walking forward."
He snapped his fingers. The hands melted away, falling back into the shadows they had been birthed from. Shinji rubbed his arms, trying to regain feeling and rid himself of the pins-and-needles. He looked at the man, his rainbow eyes whirling like a kaleidoscope. Shinji felt dizzy and had to look away, that choppy feeling of nausea filling his stomach. Something slammed on his back, and Shinji stumbled a few steps forward. He looked behind.
The man smiled and waved his fingers. "You better get going. Those cuties are probably waiting for you."
Shinji nodded and started walking forward. However, something clicked in his mind, and he turned around to say something. "Hey, what's your nam-"
There was nothing. Only shadows.
Shinji shivered. Then warmth collected on his shoulder. He looked over his shoulder. Asuka was scowling at him. "Hey, Shinji! What are you doing?! We're going to be late!"
Another warmth, this time on the opposite arm. Rei was looking at him carefully. "We must hurry."
Shinji shakily nodded his head. "Y-yeah, sure." He took one last look at the alleyway before racing after Asuka and Rei.
The shadows did nothing. The light shifted. The shadows stirred.
Cue ominous music. The laughter just won't cut it this time.
OTOTOTOTOT
Lunch had come around again, like it always did. Once again, the entire group had gathered together, conversing with each other about nothing in particular. Asuka and Hikari tried to bring Rei into a chat about the latest clothes designs and other new fads. Kensuke and Touji screwed around with each other, producing one lame joke after the other to see who would break first. Kaoru just ate lunch silently, thinking on matters foreign to someone around his age. And Shinji thought about his meeting with the strange cloaked man about the supposed inevitable death of the world as he knew it and everyone that he held dear to his heart.
Wait, back up a moment. What?
Shinji munched on his bento, taking slow, absent bites. His thoughts were whirling back and forth, too fast for him to even try and understand. The darkness was consuming? The weakness in people would lead to their destruction? And he was the only one that was able to stop it? With his soul?
The more Shinji thought on the matter, the more obvious the outcome became. There were either two answers to the questions that were burning inside his brain.
One, the entire conversation he had had with the strange man had been a hallucination cooked up by his fevered brain which was the result of one too many hits to the head and gradual explanation to his soon-to-be obvious insanity.
Two, everything that had happened had been real, the man was right, the world was ending, Shinji was its only hope left…and everything (both including and surrounding the concept of existence) was completely, definitely, and utterly screwed.
Neither were options he was particularly enjoying but if he had to pick one then most likely he would rather have option A.
After all, a personal touch of insanity was always better than the end of all existence. He had heard the mental institutions had such cushy, white rooms…
A sense of despair filled itself into Shinji's stomach again. Unfortunately this time it had to do with something that was completely different from his current train of thought. Once again he would come to regret not invading Kensuke's personal space and smashing his laptop to itty bitty electronic pieces.
An array of covered stacks was sitting next to Kensuke's side, cleverly hidden by the tree and his body. Upon deciding that the time was right he nodded to Touji and tapped Hikari on the shoulder. In a matter of minutes the three had set up a table, conveniently taken from nowhere, and Kensuke had stepped in front of the table, a megaphone that had appeared from the same unknown space as the table in his hands. The rest of the group watched in interest as Kensuke then raised the megaphone up, licked his lips, and spoke in a loud booming voice. Consequently it might have been better if he had moved away a little bit as the others had a ringing tone in their ears some time after that.
"AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! WE BRING YOU THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF INFORMATION ON THAT DEVLISH LAD, THAT INTROVERTED SCOUNDRAL, THE MAN WHO HAS TAKEN THIS SCHOOL BY STORM! WE BRING YOU, THE ONE AND ONLY, IKARI SHINJI ALMANAC!"
There was a moment of silence…and then came a stampede of people, screaming and waving yen bills like a gang of cheap strippers had found their way onto school grounds. Shinji, Asuka, Rei, and Kaoru had to jump out of the way to avoid being trampled upon. Then, the first one to break out of his stupefied senses, Shinji sprung to his feet and shot over to Kensuke who was busy looking over the stock of heavily bound magazines as Touji and Hikari furiously attended to customers.
"Kensuke!" the boy screeched. "What the hell is this?!"
"What does it look like?" The spectacled lad pushed his lenses up, a gesture that creepily reflected one performed by Shinji's father. "We're selling books and articles on you."
His eyes bulged out. "But why?!" He found himself saying that a lot today.
"Isn't it obvious?" Shinji stared at him blankly. Kensuke sighed and looped an arm around his shoulder. "Shinji, my dear, dear friend. You're almost like a legend at this school. Your parents are the leaders of one of the biggest conglomerates in Japan, you have two of the hottest girls in school either after you or already owning you, you and Kaoru are considered the cutest seme and uke couple by all the girls in school, not to mention half of them are after you on their own, you've managed to garner the attention of our beloved Misato-sensei, and you are very, very photogenic. Need I say any more?"
Shinji blinked before blushing deeply. "Where the hell did you get all that from?! Asuka and Rei are just friends, my parents should have nothing to do with me, I just helped out Misato-sensei because I met her at the right time and place, and Kaoru is…" His eyes narrowed and brows sank in confusion. "Wait, what's a seme and uke?"
Kensuke laughed anxiously. "Er…disregard that last one. Anyway…we're making a killing off of this! You have no idea how profitable you are right now! It's like a goldmine just waiting to be dug up! Here, just look!" Kensuke handed Shinji a copy of the magazine.
Shinji was staring at a picture of himself. In it he was sitting against a tree, sleeping, with the wind blowing gently in the background. Superimposed on the cover were the words "Ikari Shinji Almanac." His mind was already running in circles that the thing existed at all, so it was with great trepidation that he began to leaf through the magazine. There was the basic stuff – birthday, weight, height, his hobbies, his likes, dislikes, those questions that the three had asked him the day before, pictures of him wearing nothing but a-
"When did you take this picture?!"
Once again, Kensuke laughed nervously. "Heh, remember that time when your parents were out and we all got together and had that big party and you got completely wasted off you-"
"You got me drunk so you could take pictures of me in cosplay?!"
"Now, now, it's all good, tasteful fun."
"It's voyeurism!"
"It's only voyeurism if you get caught."
"I'm only wearing an apron in this picture!"
"KYAAAAAAH!"
The two looked over to see a group of girls shrieking and blushing madly, crowded around a single girl with one of the almanacs open. Kensuke pointed at them. "So they've seen."
"Kensuke!"
"Don't worry, I'll cut you a deal. You are the center-fold, after all."
"Center-fold?! No, wait, that isn't the point!"
"Aida Kensuke."
The two turned around to see Rei looking at them. Her face was bright, her eyes shiny, two rubies burning in eternal fires. This was the first time Shinji had seen Rei so emotional, so lively, so active. There was something exploding inside of Rei, and all of it was directed at the freckled lad. Shinji felt hope blossom in his chest. Rei was angry with what Kensuke had done! She would put a stop to all this insanity and then everything would go back to normal and he wouldn't have to worry about all these shameful and illicit photos being passed around like he was some rock-bottom porn scum.
"I'll take a copy please." Shinji's jaw dropped as she silently handed a few coins to Kensuke before receiving a book. She flipped through it and stopped. "I'm glad. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to see these photos again when Asuka accidentally broke my camera. Thank you for the opportunity." She gave Kensuke a small bow and went off to read her new merchandise in peace.
"But…but…"
"Oi! Stooge!"
This time, Asuka came stomping up, her face twisted up in fury. Shinji was torn between seeing a homicidal Asuka and a possibly respite from this nightmare that had been inflicted on him. Even Kensuke seemed a bit nervous. Scratch that, he was shaking in his shoes as the flaming redhead bore down upon him, the glint in her eyes promising a slow and excruciatingly painful death.
"What the hell are you doing, publishing this trash?!" She grabbed a magazine, waving it up in the air.
"N-now, A-Asuka. It's j-just a little thing w-we made so we could bring the joy of Sh-Shinji t-to the masses."
"It might as well be pornography!" she screamed. The boy shrunk back, his eyes wild with fear. Asuka seethed, her face twitching. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "You should be lucky that I don't beat you and the other stooge to within an inch of your life. But…I'm going to go easy on you. I'll let you off this time, but…!" She shoved a finger in his face, glaring down with all her terrible might. "If I ever, ever see something like this again, I will make you see hell. Ya got that?!"
She stormed off, leaving a still shaking Kensuke and Shinji in her wake. Kensuke sighed, relieved that he had gotten out of it without a scratch. Strange, he would have thought the punishment would be a lot worse than- He blinked.
"Hey! You didn't pay for that one!"
"Don't worry, Kensuke," Hikari whispered to him as she recovered from the rapid selling of the almanac. "I'll get the money from her later."
Ah, Asuka, reigning in all your lovely terror. Such a pleasant way of doing things.
Shinji just whimpered as the next person approached them. "Kaoru…?"
He smiled benignly. "Now, Shinji. These young people are just trying to capitalize on your charm. It would be a shame and a crime if they didn't, and I for one am not about to allow this to slip away." He flashed a bewitching grin at Hikari and Touji. "I'll take three."
Shinji quickly took to silently crying.
The almanacs quickly sold, and there were only a few left when the most surprising person showed up, her capricious gaze swarming across the leftover books. All three of the uprising entrepreneurs gulped in synchronized fashion.
"M-Misato-sensei?"
"My, my," she giggled. "What do we have here? Selling picture books on one of my favorite little students?"
Shinji took the chance and ran with it, quite literally, launching himself at the pretty teacher and latching onto her skirt. His eyes were filled with tears as he bawled almost incoherently to her. "Misato-sensei! You've got to stop them! They're selling all these pictures of me, and now the whole school is going to-!"
His cried and pleas were cut short when a slender finger was put to his mouth. Misato flashed the boy a friendly and brilliant smile. Shinji almost melted at this. This beautiful angel was finally going to free him from this rose prison his supposed friends had shoved him into. He was going to be able to walk to school again without people staring at him or laughing at him or trying to cut pieces out of his clothing to sell on e-bay.
Misato picked up an almanac and flipped through it. She stopped and blinked, her face becoming unreadable. "Shinji…?" Her voice had taken on a sing-song quality. The boy looked up, finding that the older woman had a broad and sultry grin written on her face. "Next time you clean my apartment would you mind dressing in this, Shin-chan?" The book was opened to that one particular page that had started off Shinji's nightmare.
Sorry, Shin-chan. You got a denizen of the wrong spiritual realm.
Shinji began to giggle quietly. And then his brain took the only option that was left for him to escape this crazy reality that had been dumped upon his poor, little body.
His eyes rolled back into his head, and he promptly passed out.
Right, like that's gonna help to do anything. Such a silly, silly little boy.
OTOTOTOTOT
Shinji woke up, his eyes adjusting to the light that was moving in and out thanks to the branches of the tree he was lying under. He sighed. Thank goodness, that was nothing but a dream. A horrible, terrible dream brought up from the deep, murky depths of his subconscious. He was so glad that he wouldn't need to worry about all that stuff now.
"Shinji…?"
He looked up. Rei was staring down at him, her crimson eyes staring right back into his. He blinked before recognizing his surrounding. He was lying down under the tree that they always had lunch at. His head was cradled in Rei's lap, the girl leaning back and supporting her hands on both sides of her body. His head felt comfy and soft. For once, he didn't instantly freak out at their positions. Instead it felt as though he was being held by his mother, embraced by that tender affection that only one could give. He sighed.
"Thank god that was all just a dream."
"Shinji…" She pulled something out and lowered it in front of his face. "That wasn't a dream."
His eyes bugged out. He was just about to cry out when someone else's shouts caught his attention. He looked over to see a crowd that had formed around the table that had been selling the almanacs. Asuka and Kaoru were in a violent discussion with each other, Asuka gesturing wildly while Kaoru had that self-satisfied smirk on his face. Kensuke was taking bets from people on who would win the argument, while Hikari kept tallies and Touji was acting to make sure nothing got too out of hand.
Shinji groaned. Asuka and Kaoru were like oil and fire. The two didn't mix, instead they combined to form a flaming explosion of death that many didn't survive very intact from. Usually Shinji acted as the spark for which the argument took place, and he was getting tired for being the catalyst for one of the most interesting yet destructive debacles that frequently took place in the school. He muttered quietly to himself as he made to get up.
"Looks like I got to try and stop them…again."
He paused when a petite hand placed itself on his chest, preventing him from moving any further. He looked up to see Misato-sensei kneeling down next to them. She put a finger to her lips and winked playfully. "Don't bother them just yet."
"Misato-sensei?" he asked incredulously. "Why aren't you stopping them? Aren't you a teacher?"
She shrugged and smiled. "I might be a teacher but that doesn't mean I don't like to have fun. What they're doing is harmless and funny to watch. Besides…" Misato held up a thumb. "I've got 2000 yen riding on this that Asuka's going to win."
"Say what?!" Shinji turned to Rei, who did nothing but stare back.
"All right, that's it!" The crowd took a step back at Asuka's outburst. She lobbed a finger at Kaoru and shook it menacingly. "There's only one way to settle it and it isn't with words!"
"Why?" Kaoru smirked. "Afraid that with my impeccable logic skills and vocabulary you stand absolutely zero chance?"
Asuka growled but forged ahead. "You know what I mean!" She stepped forward and jabbed a finger into the taller boy's ribs. He instinctively winced and took a step back. She grinned and grabbed the initiative. "I challenge you to a race around the school! Whoever loses will have to admit to the winner that their choice for the best photo is the right one!"
Kaoru leaned closed and whispered into her ear. "And gets the private photo session with Shinji?"
She nodded, a hint of blush on her cheeks. "And the private photo session."
Shinji's ears, polished from years of having to strain them to hear whatever threats or dangers were coming his way, were able to hear that last bit and convey the words and their implications to his brain. His face drained of all color. Photo session? He shot to his feet and tried to sneak off, much to the amusement of Rei and Misato.
"Very well!" Kensuke shouted to the crowd. "We shall then begin The Great Shinji Race! All bets should be made now! Who will it be – the hot-headed Sohryu Asuka Langley or the slick Nagisa Kaoru?! Place your bets! And someone make sure the prize doesn't get away!"
Dozens of dozens pairs of eyes swiveled around to focus on the young boy who was trying to do just that. When he heard the order for his capture, Shinji exploded into a run, only to smack into the ground when something constrained his legs and kept him from getting any further He flipped onto his back to try to see who it was, only to discover his betrayer.
"Rei?!"
She nodded, taking the rope that had appeared in her hands and binding the young boy like it was amateur bondage night. A good amount of girls blushed at the scene and fell into dirty fantasies powered by their hormone-drive adolescent minds. Shinji cried as bets were made and things were set up, Misato and Rei flanking each side to cut off any escape routes. Misato happily passed the time by teasing her student and probably violating any and all student-teacher laws that had been passed within the last ten years. Ah, but it was so much fun not to! Rei just made sure she had a handy and tight grip on the rope.
Asuka and Kaoru made their way to the starting line. They looked at each other, the fire of competition burning brightly in their eyes and souls. There were a few other things burning in there as well but not things that could be in all good conscience mentioned thanks to the T-rating this story holds.
"Pretty boy," Asuka sneered.
"Barbarian," Karou returned.
Kensuke went up to them and nodded. "Alright! The course is simple. Just run from here to the other side of the school, pick up the fruit that was generously donated by the school cafeteria, and run back here. Whoever crosses the finish line with their fruit first is the winner." He raised both hands. "Are you ready? Set? GO!"
They took off with a cloud of dust spinning behind them. The students cheered as they raced forward, gleefully anticipating who would win. Shinji just continued to cry.
Asuka and Kaoru were both evenly paced. Both had a lean body structure that was perfect for running, and both practiced in physical activities that honed their bodies – Asuka with martial arts, and Kaoru with fencing. They were already halfway to the checkpoint when Kaoru opened his mouth between light pants.
"Why do you try so hard with him?"
Asuka glanced at him. "Eh? What was that?"
"Shinji. Why do you try so hard? You hurt him and yell at him, yet you spend as much time as possible to be with him. It is a behavior that I find most paradoxical."
Asuka bit down on her lip, refusing to meet his eyes and instead looking straight ahead. "What about you, huh, pretty boy? You're a guy yet you always hang off of him like some kind of damn floozy. What's up with that?"
Kaoru smiled kindly and closed his eyes. He said nothing for a few seconds and then opened them again. Those rose-colored eyes that matched Rei's could have said it all even if he didn't. "Isn't it obvious? I love him."
Asuka stumbled a bit and Kaoru took the chance to pull ahead. When she regained her composure, Asuka increased her pace to try and match Kaoru's without speeding up her decrease in stamina. Her eyes narrowed as she promised herself something. I won't lose to you.
The two remained quiet as they hit the checkpoint, collected the fruit, and ran back to the starting point, trying to conserve as much energy as they could without any more wasteful actions. As they finally neared it, they saw Rei standing in front of the finish line as if waiting for them to cross. They sped up, their feet flying across the ground. They were head-to-head, neck-and-neck, perfectly even with each other as Rei lifted up her arms…
…And performed a successful clothesline maneuver on them both. The two jerkily halted and went flying into the air, crashing back down to the ground with no breath and extremely sore throats. Rei than calmly ignored the huge double count of assault she had committed, picked up the fruit that they had run so hard to get, and then crossed the finish line herself.
"I win."
The entire schoolyard was quiet as she handed the fruit to Kensuke as proof and then went to collect her prize, the boy speechless and inert as she dragged him away. "Come along, Shinji, I have a new digital camera that I wish to test out."
Kensuke shook himself out of his shock and turned to the large student body. "…And there you have it! The winner of this race, the dark horse that came out of nowhere – Ayanami Rei!"
There was big grumble and words of disbelief as the crowed began to stir back into realization. "Hey wait!" a voice from it shouted. "What about our bets?! Neither of the contestants won!" Noise filtered from out of them as they came to see that this was true.
Kensuke protectively clutched at the bag full of money that held the bets. "Since Rei won, that means that all bets are invalid, and that means we get to keep the money!" The grumbles grew louder and soon became screams of anger and revenge. Kensuke began to sweat as the crowd soon became restless and slight killing intents washed over the area. "Hey! This was perfectly legitimate! And if that isn't true then may lightning strike me now!"
The sky rumbled with thunder as dark clouds began to pour into view. Shadows crept on the ground as the sun was blotted out and tiny crackles of electricity raced through the black horizon. Kensuke gulped.
"I didn't really mean that!"
There was a scream. Everyone turned to see a young female student being swallowed up by…something. It was about a meter tall and was pitch black, the bastard offspring of the shadows. A pair of glowing yellow eyes opened on what might have been its face. Twin antennas sprung from its skull, and the creature waddled in a slouched-over posture. It was dragging the girl into its body, her face ripe with fear. Eventually her screams stopped as she disappeared into the creature's body completely and it turned. Its featureless face, except for those glowing, emotionless eyes, locked onto the others.
The schoolyard fell into panic.
Students went racing around, only to be caught by the other multiple creatures that seemed to grow straight from the ground. Their claws latched onto the students' bodies, sucking them in and erasing them from the lives of others completely.
Rei stopped, one of the creatures appearing in front of her. She positioned herself in front of Shinji without pause, acting as a shield. She would protect him, even if she had no clue how or even how to protect herself. Shinji struggled with his inconvenient bonds, helplessly watching as the creature fell onto Rei, grabbing her and starting to absorb her into its body. Rei lashed at it violently, but the creature didn't even notice or even care.
Rei!
Her face had broken and there was a look of complete terror on it. Her entire body trembled as the fear overtook her along with the creature's horrendous ability.
Rei! What can I do?
Shinji's struggling became even greater, straining against the ropes and knots.
What can I possibly do to…?
"You have a special power, Shinji."
He froze.
"It forms the shape of your soul."
The cloaked man's words came back to him.
"Whether it is strong or weak, good or bad is all up to you."
He had a power. His soul had the power to fight these things.
"Your heart is your greatest weapon. Use it, be guided by it, and never let it be taken over."
But he was scared! These things were inhuman! Like nothing he had ever seen before! What could he possibly do to fight any of them?!
"You can't run away, Ikari Shinji, you have to keep walking forward."
He paused again. He couldn't run away, he had to move forward.
I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away.
Something was growing inside of him. Something was taking shape.
I mustn't run away, I must walk forward.
It was molding itself, obeying his will. A power like no other. A power that no one had granted him. A power that he had had all to himself all along and was only at this point realizing it. It grew and lengthened, becoming infinitely sharp and sturdy. Nothing could break it and nothing could take it away from him.
I must walk forward, I must defeat it.
Emerging, twisting, he could feel it coming from inside his body outward.
I will defeat it!
It arrived.
"DIE, YOU MONSTER!"
A brilliant flash of light encompassed the entire school. The creatures flinched in surprise and fear, letting go of those that they were currently taking into themselves. Their heads turned to the source of the light, recognizing their target. Their instincts said to destroy him, that he was the only one that could threaten them and their continual existence. They began to swarm, like locust onto a wheat field.
Rei opened her eyes. She felt warm, not cold and slimy like that creature that had been pulling her in. She felt a strong arm around her, snugly set around her waist. It was a familiar sensation, one that she had come to cherish. Looking to her side, she saw that it was Shinji that held her. He stood like one of those heroes from a cheesy-romance novel. Rei was pressed tight to him with one arm, his other arm extended and holding an object that was jabbed into the creature.
Shinji's face was set in grim determination. His eyes were narrowed, his lips in a thin line. He twisted the object he had gutted the creature with and then removed it. The creature slumped forward and then slowly began to dissolve away. A bright reddish swirl of fog and light grew from its body, escaping and then rising quickly into the sky. It was hard to tell what it was but Rei could have sworn it was in the vague shape of a…heart?
Her view then went to the object in Shinji's hand. Her eyes widened.
It was a long metallic weapon that was in the form of a giant key. The handle fit loosely around Shinji's hand, and the teeth of the key were at the end of where the blade was supposed to be. The teeth glittered, revealing the razor-sharp point where the blade actually was. Hanging on the handle was a keychain that dangled aimlessly, held together by a simple design of a person with eight wings. The weapon was simple, sleek, and absolutely beautiful.
Something nudged Shinji in the back of his mind. He turned just to see a squad of the creatures flying through the air at him.
Only one thought prevailed in their minds. Fight him, destroy him, consume him.
Consume the Wielder of the Keyblade!
Shinji met them head on. From years of hard training in kendo with his father, from years of reflexes honed with avoiding Asuka's strikes and Rei's advances, and from years of very thinly veiled and repressed aggression, Shinji swung the keyblade in a wide arc, smashing all of them in one clean hit. They smacked into the ground, but he didn't give them the chance to recover as he dove in, striking and piercing each of them as they dissolved to nothingness.
He turned to Rei and reached out a hand. "Are you okay?" She simply nodded and took his hand, and the two ran into the swarm of creatures.
Meanwhile, Asuka was having a rough time. After recovering from Rei's unwarranted attack she soon found herself being on the receiving end of an onslaught by one of the strange beings. Luckily her martial arts training came back to her, and she was able to avoid being sucked in. But no matter how many times she hit the creature it refused to stay down. She was soon finding that between the race and the strain fighting the thing, her stamina was burning out. She panted heavily and stood there.
The creature didn't look like it was tired. In fact, it looked like it didn't even feel her strikes. What kind of thing was it? Asuka shifted forward, but her weakened legs gave out and she stumbled forwards. The creature took the opportunity presented and launched itself, its claws aiming for her head. Asuka closed her eyes, her thoughts revolving on a certain thick-headed brunette as she awaited her imminent demise.
"Asuka!"
She opened them. Shinji jumped in front of her, bisecting the creature in one clean movement. Rei was then quickly at her side, supporting her on a shoulder. Asuka looked between Rei's assuring gaze and then at her childhood friend. "Shin…ji…?"
"Where are Kaoru and the others?! I've got to find them, quick!"
A flash of disappointment at his lack of concern for her briefly flitted through her mind. But quickly taking notice of the situation she realized that this was no time for jealousy. She raised a finger and point in a direction to Shinji's left. "They were over the-"
Mad laughter interrupted her. The three looked over to see Kaoru surrounded by a group of the creatures. But instead of attacking they merely observed him. A circle of grayish-blue light was under the boy. He had a hand to his face, covering his eyes. His was laughing loudly, the taint of madness dripping into his tone. "Yes! I can see it! I understand it all now! This is what I was searching for!"
"Kaoru!" Shinji sprinted at him, bashing through any of the creatures that came onto his path.
"Shinji?" He removed the hand and looked, his crimson eyes smiling kindly. "Shinji, it is you!"
"Kaoru!" He slashed through another one. "Kaoru, what are you doing?! We have to get out of here!"
"Shinji, the other worlds are waiting." He spread his arms wide as if basking in the glow of everything. "They're waiting for us Shinji. All their dreams, all their knowledge, all their adventure. They're just waiting, ripe for the picking."
"What are you talking about?!"
"Don't you want to come with me?" He extended a hand, his slender fingers moving gracefully. "You said you would. You promised you would."
"Kaoru? There's no time for that!" He blocked when one of the creatures slashed at him, and then tossed it over his shoulder. He reached his other hand out, trying to grab hold of Kaoru's. "Come back with us, please!" A fear was growing in him. A fear that if he didn't get Kaoru now, grab his hand and never let go, he would never see the boy again. He had to catch him.
Kaoru's face flinched, his eyes full of betrayal. He lowered his hand and stepped back. "I see." His voice was low, almost a whisper. "You're just like the others, aren't you, Shinji? I thought you might be different but…" He looked up, his eyes losing their warmth, losing their joy. "You're just like all of them – stupid and afraid." They were like ice now, hard, cold crystals of blood and ice.
"It was fun…but I guess this is the end. Goodbye now…Shinji."
The ground below him brightened, and the shadows crept up, engulfing him. Then with a burst of dark light, he disappeared.
"Kaoru?" Shinji fell to his knees. "Kaoru?" Something shook his shoulder. He looked over it.
"Shinji!" Asuka cried. "We've got to go! NERV is here with a VTOL! They're going to get us to safety!"
Shinji felt numb, cold, alone. He felt like someone had ripped out a part of him and then burned it to ashes. But looking at Asuka who was staring at him grimly, and Rei who was just standing there quietly, waiting, he realized that there were other parts of him that were still alive…and so very warm.
He nodded and took each of their outstretched hands, running for the aerial vehicle that was parked a little bit away, its turbines still rotating noisily. They climbed on board, helped by the pilots and assistants. Immediately Shinji found himself pulled into a strong hug, his head bouncing upon something that was very firm and soft. He looked up, and found himself staring into the blue eyes of a very buxom and pretty red-haired lady.
"M-M-Mrs. Sohryu!" he sputtered out. Kyoko, the single mother of Asuka smiled brightly at him, holding him closer to her voluptuous body. He blushed furiously, remembering all the other times she had done the exact same thing to him, and also remembering the exact way Asuka reacted to all of those incidents.
"Mama!"
"Hello, Asuka dear. I'm so glad that you're all safe and sound."
"That's not the point! Let go of Shinji, now!"
She tutted softly. "I'm afraid I can't do that. Especially with all that chaos happening below. I have to make sure little Shin-chan is kept all safe and sound." Her eyes flashed, an unknown emotion running through them.
Rei picked up on it instantly. "Where…" Her voice was soft and low. "Where are the others?"
Kyoko smiled sadly. "They're all gone, Rei."
All three of their eyes went wide. Shinji swiftly and violently struggled to free himself from Kyoko's grasp and dived for the edge of the plane. What he saw disturbed him on a level beyond anything he could have imagined.
The yard was completely swallowed by darkness. There was nothing left, nothing that could have once been the high school of Tokyo-3. It was all shadows and darkness. The ground was crumbling away, falling into a void of eternal night. Something large was emerging from it. A being that was stories tall and dripping shadows like they were sweat. Gargantuan, evil, and eyes that burned coldly.
"Turn back!" Shinji yelled at the pilot. "We've gotta turn back. There's gotta be some people still alive!"
"Shinji, listen to me!" Kyoko's sharp words caught his attention. He looked at her, his thoughts and feelings clearly showing through his face. The Weapons Designer of Nerv sighed internally. There was no reason for him to go through this, no viable excuse that could explain away the pain that awaited him. But he was the only one, and she had to tell him. "Shinji, there's only a few things I can tell you right now. Your parents will explain the rest at NERV headquarters but there are a few things I can tell you now."
She took a deep breath. "Those things you fought are called Akuma, that weapon you hold is called the keyblade, and you..." She pointed a finger directly at him. "Are the only possible savior of our world and every one outside ours. You are the person that will battle the darkness and protect all of existence from eternal damnation."
The three looked shell-shocked at her revelation. Then, as one, they said the one thing that came to all their minds.
"No…fuc-"
Perhaps life really is like a watch. Because if this moment is any indication, we should expect a whole lot of bashing and cursing any second now.
The die has been rolled, the timer has been set, and we are on our way to the real adventure!
Cue ominous everything.
A/N: Well, that's the end. You'll notice that there was a lot less humor near the end as I figured it'd be hard to slip it in without spoiling the mood. Hopefully I'll get better at integrating the two as the story progresses. In other news, this chapter was actually cut short when I realized I'd have another crazy long chapter if I continued. Whether that's a good or bad thing is up to you. In any case I really liked it and I hope you did to. Please review and remember, no flames!
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Shinji: So this is the new world?
Asuka: Huh, it doesn't look as cool and colorful as they made it to be.
Black Mage: It will once I get some blood flowing from you.
Shinji: Ah! Who the hell are you?!
White Mage: We're here to help you on your journey to save all the worlds from darkness!
Thief: And make some money along the way, too.
Rei: Shinji, I would suggest you keep a tight hold upon any possessions you want to keep.
Red Mage: Ah, all of this simply fantabulous! Who designs your clothes?
Shinji: My head really hurts.
Rei: Next time on Organization XVIII – Minute Expectations (or) Not People You Should Turn Your Back On.
Fighter: I like your sword.
Shinji: Umm…thanks?