This is how I think the ending of TLG should have gone. Except, of course, it would be much more witty and not entirely soaked with ooey-gooey romancy nonsense.

Please, humor me, and try not to gag too much.

Artemis' senses were overloaded, or perhaps they didn't exist.

He could smell freshly cut grass, heavy with the color green and so thick it blocked out the sun. Crickets screamed, and each hop they took shook the world and sent everything spinning. Wind whipped through a phantom jacket made from a mind that didn't exist. He felt the dirt shift and change and turn to water, which turned to great big clouds that sailed the skies like swollen sea creatures. Rain soaked his body and scattered his thoughts like stars, the stars that fell to earth like diamonds.

Rain. Diamonds. Or maybe they were tears, he didn't know.

He sang with the thunder and swallowed lightning.

Images swirled in a merry-go-round panorama of shadows. Colors not visible suddenly could be tasted and lived and fashioned from the baritones of a mockingbird. He breathed the darkness and spun it into moonlight, which he cast down upon the house.

House.

He struggled to hold himself together. Little pieces escaped every time the breeze tugged at his mind. A sunbeam illuminated the hairline fractures that spidered over every inch of his consciousness, turning each crack gold. She was the glue that held his frayed mind together.

Gold. Stolen.

And then suddenly, he woke up.

He was sitting in a field, the sun only beginning to poke her fiery head over the horizon. The moon kept watch from above, even though she was beginning to fade into the deep indigo of morning.

There were three shapes before him , one small, one large, and one a little bit different from the others. He sat up slowly and tried not to vomit. The world tilted and spun, and Artemis was so disoriented he hardly had control over his own body.

Of course, such side effects were to be expected after floating around as a spirit for six months.

Flowers. He smelled flowers. He opened one eye just a crack and marveled at how beautiful they were. The sight brought tears to his eyes. He'd never seen flowers like that before and wondered vaguely if it was an undiscovered species, right in his backyard.

These remind me of someone. Someone who is very dear to me.

Holly. The name punched through his thoughts, bringing order to his foggy mind for a few indispensable moments of clarity.

Someone came to his side. The man slid his giant hands underneath Artemis' armpits and pulled him gently to his feet.

Butler.

"Artemis, you're back," he rumbled in a voice thick with emotion.

"Yes, old friend, I believe I am."

He wobbled and would have fallen, had Butler not kept a firm grip on his shoulder. Everything was coming into focus, sharper focus than Artemis remembered his old eyes to be.

And he felt like pure energy was flowing in his veins. For the first time ever, the criminal mastermind felt like he could run a mile and would enjoy doing so. He felt like laughing, and singing, and crying all at the same time. He was filled with so much life!

"Wow, Foaly, did you have this clone exercise vigorously on a regular basis?" he chuckled weakly and then froze.

Artemis' voice was significantly higher than his old one.

Foaly shuffled nervously as the boy examined his body.

"Artemis… it would be best if you didn't get overexcited…"

"I'm an elf" Artemis stated flatly.

"I can explain!" Foaly was stamping his hooves and working himself into a frenzy, "I didn't have time to make a human cloning apparatus. Opal's machine couldn't be properly adjusted in such a short amount of time…."

The centaur paused to whinny.

"But, I was able to change the settings from pixie to elf. I'm sorry, Artemis, but it was either an elf or nothing,"

That explained the intensity of emotion that Artemis was feeling. The nervousness, the confusion, the joy of living, it swirled in his head and jumbled his thoughts. He knew it would take a while to get used to and even longer to control. For now, he was wearing his heart on his sleeve.

A wave of gratitude swelled and washed over his mind. He

"Foaly, oh dear, Foaly, I have missed you! Thank you for everything!"

The unusually pale elf (he was essentially the elf version of himself; he still had his shockingly black hair and ice blue eyes) lurched forwards and hugged Foaly with all the strength he could muster. The bewildered techie patted him awkwardly before finally wrapping his arms around him in a proper hug.

"Aw, shucks, Artemis."

The centaur tried to discreetly wipe the moisture from his eyes.

"And you, Butler, you have been my best friend ever and I am really really sorry-"

He glommed on to Butler (or rather, Butler's thigh, him now being the height of a small child) next and babbled a bit more before catching sight of the third, smallest figure.

Holly stood stock still, knee deep in the field of flowers. A gentle breeze stirred her hair and whispered secrets about the individual before her, having borne his spirit aloft for months. A moonbeam sculpted the hollow of her collarbone and turned her cheek to silvered stone. The only sign that she was a living being and not, in fact, a statue was her shaking fingers.

Tears streamed down her face and dripped onto the petals by her feet. They glittered in her, wide, bright eyes and revealed her own tumultuous emotions.

Artemis sucked in a breath. What a beautiful creature she was. How, how had he not told her what he was feeling? How had he been able to keep it inside his soul for all this time?

His new elf mind unlocked his true feelings and gave him the power to set them free.

"I love you," The words fell from his lips and he became emboldened, "I love you. I knew it, I always did, from the moment I saw you in that moonlit field not so different from this one we stand in right now. I love you. I love everything about you. I love you."

No matter how many times he uttered the phrase, it never did grow stale. He wanted to shout and suddenly he was crying even harder than she was.

Holly looked at the handsome elf before her and realized that Artemis was born to die and be reborn. It was fate, pushing them together once more. Even she, a guarded person by nature, couldn't deny this, didn't want to deny it this time. Holly ached for Artemis, her muscles screamed out for him but she was rooted to the spot by fear.

His eyes, those blue eyes called to her, swallowing any witticisms, any clever comebacks, any of the tricks she threw up to keep him away. The shining tracks on his cheeks were captivating, mesmerizing in their own way that was completely devoid of magic. She needed to take a step, but couldn't.

And so Artemis took it for her, once again. Suddenly he was there, filling her whole world with his presence. His arms encircled her waist and held her soul together.

I am the fragile one, she realized, and I haven't even been a ghost.

He smelled like grass and clean and she loved it. She loved the sweet nothings that he whispered in her ear (grammatically correct sweet nothings which were a lot more intelligent than those that Orion spouted). She loved this moment and how wonderfully delicate she felt, as if she was made of glass and could shatter at any moment.

But Artemis wouldn't let that happen. His elfin arms were strong but held her gently and she could feel the steady beating of the heart he had just truly discovered.

After some time, the lovely words that swirled around the magically charged air stopped, and Artemis pressed his forehead to hers, searching for her lips.

"I said your elf kissing days were over," Holly said breathlessly, not entirely forbidding such an action but trying desperately to maintain her fading grasp of the upper hand.

"Yes, but technically, this is another time. You said that, one could argue, a long time ago, and logically that would constitute-"

Holly kissed him with such force that a violent hurricane of blue and amber magic swirled around their bodies, sparking and flashing like lightning. She clutched at his disheveled hair for dear life, twining her fingers firmly in his dark locks and bringing his face closer. Behind her eyelids she saw the muted glow of the magic, and the hairs on her arms stood up as the sparks danced over her skin.

One of Artemis' hands drifted up to Holly's face and brushed it lightly. He took his thumb and wiped it along her cheek in a vain attempt to stop the tears.

"Stop crying," He mumbled, and she felt his smile.

Holly shuddered with the intensity of her emotions, and finally relaxed completely in his embrace.

"I love you," she said for the first time ever.

I guess I was feeling sentimental. Hope you guys didn't drown in the sappy sweetness, otherwise you wouldn't be able to review!

Oh, and by the way, the first few paragraphs were inspired by chapter twelve of HolidayBoredom's Short Circuits. I hope she doesn't mind! But I really loved that chapter, and wanted to try my hand at something like it (and, of course, I fell miserably short of her writing, but whatever).