A/N: And chapter two, since the first one is so short ;).

~TWO~

Donna woke to a hand shaking her by the shoulder. "Uh, budge off, Doctor!" The shaking continued. She slapped at him as she would at an annoying fly. "Get off, spaceman! You might not need to sleep, but I'm happy with my eight hours each night, thank you!"
He just wouldn't leave her alone! Donna snapped her eyes open and turned around to tell him just what she thought of that kind of behaviour – the Doctor wasn't there. Kneeling before her in the gloomy light was a stranger, and a man! "Oi! Get off! Who do you think you are?!" Donna slapped him in the face, then scrambled away from the man over the slightly wet wooden floor.

"I did not deserve that", the man murmured, not really making sense. He had horrible hair, horrible clothes and smelled horribly.

This was definitely not the TARDIS, or at least it wasn't the room Donna had fallen asleep in. What the hell had happened, and what had happened to the Doctor? "Where", she demanded, "is the Doctor?"

To her horror, the stranger jumped forward and clapped a dirty, stinking hand loaded with cheep rings over her mouth. "Shhh!"

Donna bit him for his trouble, even though the taste was appalling. "Don't you hush me! Get off! What have you done to the Doctor?! And who are you, anyway?"

The man shifted away from her. "Blimey, that's what ye get for tryin' t' help... I don't care how much you've had, Missy, but I am about to commandeer meself that ship there, an' figuring it might get a bit loud round here I thought I'd better show you off."

"Don't think that pirate-y talk works with me, mate. And don't you dare calling me 'missy' ever again." Donna rose to her feet, her back to the rotten wall of the hut – a boat hut, if she wasn't much mistaken, with one side opening to the beach, and two small boats resting on the wooden floor beside her.

The stranger rose, as well, and in the soft light Donna could only just make out the ridiculous beard, the equally ridiculous hat and the strange position in which he held himself, one hand resting lightly on the hilt of a sword.

"What kind of freak are you? No, wait, I know – you're an alien. I demand to know which planet we are on! And what have you done with the Doctor!"
The stranger threw a look over his shoulder, as if he expected someone barging in on them at every moment. "I have no idea what you're on about, deary. You are in Tortuga, and if I were you, I'd find meself a nice corner to sleep it off."

"I am NOT drunk!" Donna stalked forward to stand directly in front of him. She could even smell the horrid odour coming out of his mouth, lips twisted to a shoddy grin and showing of golden teeth Donna was sure weren't real. "That makes you Tortugans, then, yeah? Well, mate, you will tell me exactly what I want to know, right now, and no more nonsense. Where. Is. The. Doctor?!" She poked his chest with every word. "What have you done to him, and the TARDIS, and what do you want with me?"

"Jack? Any problems?" A second man peered in through the door in the hut – why it would need a door when the fourth wall was missing entirely Donna did not bother to think about. The appearance of the older, heavier, grey guy in the same stupid dress code made it all clear to her. "He's been standing watch, yeah? So you could do... something to me, yeah! Well, think again, Tortugar, 'cause it went wrong, and now you will answer my question. WHERE IS THE DOCTOR?"

Both men flinched at her shout, looking like two rabbits caught in the headlights.

The first one, Jack, recovered his wits quicker. "Gibbs, the ship, make her ready."

The other, Gibbs, nodded, and hurried over to one of the boats, pushing her out into the open air. Jack stayed with Donna, offering her a hand with a grin. "Never heard of your Doctor, deary, but I recommend you see one", he tipped his temple, " something's not right up there. Anyway, good luck, and good bye!" He turned away, and started swaggering towards the boat to help his colleague.

"Wait a minute!" Donna caught up with him. "You are going to steal that boat."

"It's commandeer. Commandeer a boat – ship."

Donna stared at the small vessel. Hardly worth to be a fisher's boat. "It's a boat."

"Ship."

"Just leave her, Jack! She's bloody mad!" Gibbs murmured, redoubling his efforts on the boat. "Besides, bad luck they are, women. Especially the mad ones."

"Oh no. You are not leaving me behind, mate." Donna walked ahead and help pushing the boat. "I want to find the Doctor, and right now, you two are the only way to get to him – I'm sticking with you. Though you could tell me your name."

'Jack' sighed. "Captain Jack Sparrow, to your services." He pulled his hat with a crocked grin and resumed pushing the boat.

Donna had stopped dead. "No, you're not. Can't be. No way!" Would-be pirate-aliens, that she could take. She did know that Jack Sparrow did not exist. Not for real.

The two men had stepped out into the moonlight, and Donna stared at them in all their glory. Full pirate gear, haggard faces from the see, and Jack with the impossible beard and hair... She followed them, out onto the moonlight Caribbean beach, with a brilliant clear sea rolling onto the shore not a few feet away.

"In your dreams! You can't possibly be Jack Sparrow!"

"Captain," said 'Jack', teeth gritted and still pushing the boat. "Captain Jack Sparrow, deary, and whatever you've heard, I'm the only one, the original. Now, if you could..."

"I don't believe one word. Think you are Johnny Depp, eh? Not with me, mate! Get out of my head, alienboy, and tell me WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE DOCTOR?"

This time, her shouting did not cause the two men to flinch, but to push frantically at the boat, as from the buildings not far of the sound of barking and shouting rose suddenly, and Donna could see a group of men with axes and cutlasses and torches coming at them, dogs charging ahead of them. They did not look exactly friendly.

Gibbs and Jack had reached the water, and Jack was already climbing aboard while Gibbs pushed him further into the waves.

"Oh no. I am coming with you!" Donna charged after them, and had climbed into the boat before Gibbs could do the same. Soon, they were out on the ocean, with their pursuers shouting and waving angrily at them.