Note: Well, I decided to continue on with this, because I loved both films and I know that there might be other crazies like me who love parodies. I thank everyone who had read the first chapter.

Chapter 2: The Change

"Who the Hell does that bastard think he is?" hissed Mina as she slammed a mallet on a carved bust of Dorian.

"He is the emperor," said Hyde, his arms full of Dorian busts.

"Another one, Hyde." Mina swung her mallet back as Hyde placed another bust on the block. "He might be emperor," she shattered the bust with her mallet, "but how dare he have the nerve to fire me!" She grunted. "Another one!"

"Yeah," said Hyde, placing another bust on the block while holding onto the rest. "He shouldn't have done that when you were doing most of the work."

"I was the one who had to put up with him when no else would!" Mina shattered the next Dorian bust.

"You'd think he'd appreciate it." Hyde nearly dropped the busts as he nudged one onto the block with his foot.

"That bloody, twisted, rotten wretch!" Mina screeched as she smashed the bust. "Why if I ruled the Empire!"

"If you ruled the Empire, you would never have gotten fired."

"That's it, Hyde!" Mina had an evil smirk on her pale face.

"What's it?" Hyde tried to balance the one bust on the tip of his finger while trying to hold the rest.

Mina cackled. "We are going to murder Dorian Gray and I shall rule the Empire!" She tossed the mallet aside. "Drop those things, Hyde, we're going to the lab!"

Hyde dropped the busts and they all shattered. He and Mina went to the entrance tunnel of their secret lab.

"Now, Hyde," instructed Mina, "pull the lever!"

Obediently, Hyde pulled the lever, which he thought was the one that opened the door. Instead of the tunnel door, a trapdoor opened under Mina's feet.

"Wrong lever!" She screamed as she fell. Mina's long fall ended in a splash, making Hyde wince.

Mina was charging through the door from outside dragging a crocodile that bit into her skirt.

"Why do we even have that lever?" she asked as she swatted off the crocodile.

"Here's the right lever," said Hyde. He pulled the correct lever and the tunnel door opened.

The inside of the tunnel had a rail track laid on the floor. Waiting for Mina and Hyde was a rail car set with two seats. The former advisor and her henchman hopped into the seats. Hyde pulled the lever at the side of the car in the ground, which set the car in motion. The track started flat, then the car began to roll up, down, and slightly side to side.

"Whoa!" shouted Hyde, waving his large arms above his head. "Come on, Mina, put your hands in the air!" Mina did not say anything, but clenched her hands on the security bar with a frown.

The wild ride ended when they were launched from their seats and they were attired in matching lab coats. Mina and Hyde went to the lab tables topped with beakers and bottles of chemicals, tools, and lab notes.

"So how are we going to find a way to kill Dorian?" asked Hyde. "I thought it was fucking impossible to kill him."

"Let me see," said Mina as she browsed her notes and the lab chemicals. "Maybe I can turn him into a harmless little flea. I put that flea in a box, then in a bigger box, then in a much bigger box, mail it to myself, and smash it!" In her excitement, she elbowed over a vial, which shattered and the purple liquid inside evaporated into a vile vapor.

Mina picked up another vial containing the same deep purple chemical. "Or I can just kill him with poison, which will save time on postage."

"Right," said Hyde, scratching his hairy jaw, "but how are we going to make him drink it?"

"Patience, Hyde," Mina said, grinning and showing her fangs. "The plan will be in action in only a short amount of time."

Later that evening, Dorian was sitting down for dinner with Mina and Hyde. However, Dorian was unaware of the plan against him.

"So you don't have any hard feelings about me firing you?" asked Dorian, sitting down and examining his nails.

"Oh," said Mina, "no hard feelings at all." She forced a friendly smile, but she was more excited about her wicked plan.

"Hope you'll like these spinach puffs, your highness," said Hyde as he set a platter of pastries on the table.

"Hyde," Mina whispered, "did you remember it? You know?"

Hyde paused for a moment. "Oh... right." He winked at Mina. "Right." The large henchman left the room to retrieve the poison.

Dorian watched Hyde leave. "Is he like about thirty or something?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," answered Mina, since she never really asked Hyde about his age.

"These aren't bad," said Dorian after he bit into a spinach puff.

While Dorian and Mina were talking, Hyde prepared three glasses of wine. Out of his pocket, he took the vial that contained the poison and slipped it into the glass that was meant for Dorian. A violet vapor shot upward as the poison touched the wine.

"Got the drinks prepared," announced Hyde when he brought the tray of wine glasses to the table. "I see that you like the spinach puffs, your highness."

"Yeah," muffled Dorian between bites.

"Hyde," said Mina forcing a grin to conceal her impatience, "Dorian needs his drink."

"Right." Hyde was about to offer Dorian a glass, but he suddenly forgot which glass had the poison.

Shit, the brute thought. Unsure of what else to do, he went to another table that had a vase. The henchman poured the flowers and water out of the vase and mixed all three drinks together in it. He poured the mixture back into the glasses, each pour ended in an upward shot of vapor. Hyde used his bulk to block Dorian's puzzled gaze while Mina tapped her foot.

"Okay," said Hyde, bringing the tray of drinks back to Dorian's table.

"Thanks," said Dorian as he took his glass. "Cheers." He began drinking his wine down.

"Don't drink," Hyde whispered to Mina. The former advisor tossed her drink on a potted plant, which shriveled. The henchman just poured his on his shoulder and made it appear he was drinking it.

Dorian had finished his wine with a sigh. Then he collapsed, his face landing on his plate.

"Yes," hissed Mina with glee.

All of a sudden, Dorian sat straight up.

Mina was certainly surprised. What the Hell? she asked herself.

"That sure went to my head," said Dorian. "Thank my immortality that alcohol gives me a buzz for only a few seconds." There was a slight change to Dorian, his hand had changed into a hoof and his arm was covered in gray hair.

Realizing that Dorian wasn't dying, Mina took two pieces of broccoli and began pounding them together, innocently humming. Dorian then had long gray ears.

"What's up, Mina?" asked Hyde, staring at the vampire. "You want more broccoli?" Mina frowned and slammed her fist into the palm of her other hand, indicating to Dorian, who suddenly had a long neck.

"Hyde," said Dorian, "think you can be a pal and pass the salt?" His face then changed to that of a llama's.

Picking up the tray, Hyde slammed it over Dorian's head. The selfish emperor collapsed out cold.

"A llama?" asked Mina. "He's supposed to be dead!"

"That's weird," said Hyde, rubbing the back of his neck with a meaty hand.

"Let me see that vial." Mina examined the vial and rolled the label back in place. "This isn't poison, it's extract of llama!"

"Now what will we do with him?"

"Take him out of town and finish the job!"

"What about dinner?"

"Hyde, this is important." Mina placed her hands on her hips. "You know this was only a set up to kill him."

"Can't I do it after dessert?" Hyde had a pleading grin.

"Alright, after dessert."

"And a coffee?"

Mina sighed. "Okay, a coffee as well. Then take him out and finish him off!" Her eyes were glowing red with anger.

End Note: Chapter 2 is finally done! I'm afraid the transformation part was just a little tricky to write. I know that Mina and Hyde seem a little out of character since I cast them as the evil former advisor and the dumb henchman. Hey, at least when Hyde tries to dispose of Dorian in the next chapter, he'll talk with himself like usual.