Disclaimer: I don't own anyone accept for Keriam!
A/N: What do you guys think so far? I've written SO much! I know you guys will LOVE this story! My mom, who's not even a "Scrubs" fan likes it! …Although, then again, she is my mother! -shrug- Anyway, hope you guys like it!
My Baby Girl
"My First Glance"
See, we met in an . . . awkward kind of a way. Jordan and I had just had our little chit-chat about divorce. We were at the bar, Jordan, with her venom-tongued voice, and her sharp, sparkly fangs, said to me, basically this:
"Perry, I'm leaving you for the old Beardface." She said, slugging back a pina collada, as if it were human blood. Have I not mentioned she's a blood-sucking, soul-stealing baby-eating vampire? Yeah. Well, she is.
"You're leaving me for Doctor Beardface?" I said, I ordered another scotch, I couldn't believe my ears.
"Are you slow? That's what I just said," she put on one of her 'duh' faces. I rolled my eyes. "We leave tomorrow, after his retirement party, for Reno!" She stretched the words out, emphasizing 'retirement' and 'party.'
How could she leave me, for him!
I questioned myself for a few minutes.
Why would she want…. That? He'd break a hip just trying to grab the remote!
I was so busy thinking to myself, visualizing this monstrosity, his wrinkly old body trying to please her (which isn't a pretty sight, if I may add) I neglected the fact, that reptillian wench I called my wife, was sitting right next to me trying to get my attention.
"Hell-ooooo? Earth To Perry! Earth To Perry! Come in! Hello? Anyone there?" She was snapping her fingers and drinking her drink all at the same time. Quite impressive for such a simple-minded demon.
"What.. Oh. I've spent a little too much time with Newbie. Lets blame him for that slip, Now, you evil, dispicable shell of a human being, what were you saying?" She smiled. I was giving her what she wanted.
"Oh, nothing, just wanted to give you back the wedding ring. I'm keeping the engagement ring, I figure, I can hawk it and get 2,000, yeah?" I could feel my veins popping, as I clenched my fingers together, I was already fuming, but now, I was feeling worse. I felt my face turn red, and sweat, beading up on my forehead. Instead, as my therapist had instructed so many times, I counted to ten.
By the time I reached ten, I wanted to rip her face off.
"Alright, give it here, then," I said, calmly.
"Hmm, Perry, quite the gentleman, or the wuss. My pleasure," She handed me the ring, and sauntered (actually, it's no saunter, it was an effort to hide her large, green, spiky tail) out the door.
Five minutes later, Keriam, or.. Keri, as we all know showed up.
"That's gotta hurt," she said to me, it was more of an empathetic tone, than anything.
"Who are you? And, why are you talking to me?" I asked angrily, I stared into my drink, the ring laying next to it. The gold, shining slightly in the dim light. I felt the sudden urge to scream. But, I didn't.
"Name's Keriam Georges, but, you can call me Keri," She sat on the stool where Jordan stood what seemed like forever ago, even if it was only five minutes.
"I think I'll just call you never, then you can run along now, sound good?" I nodded down to my drink. It wasn't my plan for a Friday night, I couldn't decide what the reason was. My wife leaving me for a bearded, wrinkly, and not very well endowed, old man, or because an annoying tweenie decided to come bug me. Oh, woe is me.
"Or, you can tell me what just happened, and I'll buy you all the scotch you can imagine," If scotch wasn't involved, I would have gotten up, and left her right on the spot, but I decided to stay, make up a story, after all, I screw with Clarissa day in and out, in her search for a strong, fantastic father figure. . . me. (Yes, for those of you who are too stupid to understand who I am reffering to-Yes, Clarissa, that means you-I am reffering to newbie.) Why not do it with a little Scotch, this time.
"My d-d-d-daddy just died!" I said in an overexxagerated tone. "Now, where's my scotch? Buy it, and go. Leave me be. Alone," I scolded.
"Hmmph, no. As a matter of fact, I heard everything you just said," she spat. I looked up at her, I felt the veins pop, the fists clench, and the blood boil once again.
"Oh, did you? Then why are you tormenting me with that . . . annoying voice of yours!" I spat, my throat dry, my voice angry. I ordered another scotch. On the rocks this time.
"Because, you should talk about it," Her eyes sparkled a little, or I was insanely drunk, and seeing things.
"Says who? I don't see my therapist around, do you?" I sipped the scotch that was handed to me by some pretty-boy bartender, who you can tell, only has this job because he wants to get chicks. By the looks of him, he's probably living on his mom's couch, and everything that comes with it.
"No, but uh . . . I am a therapist. Now, tell me, what's your name?" For some strange reason, as I got drunker, and drunker, she seemed somewhat more appealing. Not that she was ugly to begin with, no. She definitely wasn't, but something about the way the alcohol affected me, I guess it dulled my senses, and made her less annoying.
Because about two hours, and four more glasses of scotch (and appletinis-oh god, it's a Newbie part Deux) later, we were headed back to my place for some annoying, disgruntled, angry, hate-sex. Apparently, that same night, her boyfriend revealed to her, he's been seeing other women (Not that I'd been paying attention when she was talking, I just remember, because she drilled it into my head with her annoyingly high pitched voice. I'm not kiddin' ya man, it's worse than Doctor Barbie's voice.) And we had agreed, (after we spent about thirty minutes looking for mini-marts that sold condoms) that any sex between us that night, would be a one-night thing, used as revenge on our exes.
Needless to say, the condom broke, and now I'm here, sitting at the hospital, (yes, Sacred-freakin'-Heart!) having to make a choice, between the life of my baby, and the life of my. . . ugh, I can't believe I'm saying this, girlfriend. And, for once, the doctor who's seemingly bulletproof, knows all the answers, and is incre-he-hedibly handsome to boot, doesn't know the answer.
A/N Part 2: Hope you like this story so far! Please, R/R with criticism! I'd like to know how I'm doing! Stay tuned for chapter 3 :)