I Am A Coward

Warnings: one-sided love (hahahaahahha), Eren being a jerk?!

"You're such an idiot," Jean hissed, pushing Eren, "do you even think?"

"What's your problem?!" Eren retorted back loudly, "Just because you're such a coward doesn't mean the rest of us have to be!"

"I can't believe you're so stupid! Just because you can turn into some monster doesn't mean that you're invincible!" Jean said, pointing a finger at him.

"I'm just willing to fight for what I believe in!" Eren said, pointing a finger right back, "Not all of us wanted to join the Military Police and live in comfort, y'know."

Jean took a step back. He could feel the heat rise up his neck and onto his face. He turned around and walked away head bowed, trying not to let Eren know that his words affected him.

That his words would always affect him.

Jean turned a corner only to run into Armin. He brushed past him, stomping his feet in anger.

"Jean, what's wrong?" Armin inquired after him, turning to follow him.

"You are probably the smartest person I know," Jean suddenly said, turning around and jabbing Armin in the chest, "So how do you put up with someone so thick-headed?"

Armin immediately knew who he was talking about, and shrugged, "Eren's been my best friend since we were small, I know you two are always at odds, but Eren has a lot of good qualities if you just let yourself see them."

"I know that," Jean said through gritted teeth, "I know he's recklessly brave and good-hearted, and that he'd give his life for anyone, and that he doesn't ever give up even though things are at their worst, that he's so passionate and-" Jean suddenly cut himself off, as if it suddenly occurred to him exactly who he was talking about. He found himself not entirely liking the knowing look that crossed Armin's face.

"Jean, I think that-"

"It doesn't matter what you think Arlert," Jean muttered, abruptly leaving.

Jean walked until he cooled down a bit, he looked up at the sky and smiled a bit, "Marco, where are you now? You always knew exactly what to say…"

"Kirschtein," came a cool female voice behind him. Jean turned around to find Mikasa standing behind him leaning up against the wall.

"What do you want Mikasa?" Jean asked, he had always had a bit of a soft spot for Mikasa, perhaps it was because he felt a sort of kinship with her.

"You shouldn't pick fights with Eren," Mikasa said, "It….upsets him."

Jean found himself gritting his teeth once more, it's not like he wanted to make Eren upset, he just wanted to knock some sense into him.

"You know as well as I do that he shouldn't act so recklessly when fighting the titans," Jean said, folding his arms over his chest.

"He'll never be in danger as long as he has me." Mikasa said.

Jean suddenly found himself angry again, it's not like Mikasa was the only one watching out for Eren. What about the rest of the squad? What about Captain Levi, Sasha, Connie, and himself? They all had Eren's back.

Jean just shrugged and Mikasa left, leaving Jean to his own thoughts.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"The sad thing is, is that he's kind of right," Jean thought bitterly to himself, "you can't even bring yourself to tell him...hell you can't even admit it to yourself half the time."

Jean hung his head and let out a deep breath. Well that would change.

He began to walk back, to where he knew Eren would be. He would apologize, he would say all that he would need to say. That he had always wanted to say. He would prove that he wasn't a coward.

Maybe for once, he would feel worthy of waking up in the morning.

He put on a small smile as he saw Eren hanging around everyone, an arm around Connie as they obviously conspired about something.

"Jean though- I don't know why he likes to constantly rile you up," Connie said loudly patting Eren on the back.

"He's just an asshole," Eren said shrugging, "I don't know why he has the need to dictate what I do, when he does nothing."

"Eren," Armin said patting Eren's back, "Jean can be a nice guy if you let him, and he wouldn't have joined the Survey Corps if he wanted to do nothing."

Eren laughed, "I bet if it was up to him, he'd change his mind now and go live in that comfy castle."

Jean felt tears prick at his eyes as he turned away and left again.

"Damn it, why don't you tell him?" Jean thought to himself, "What do you know anyway, all you know is how to run away, that's what you always do, run away isn't it? Eren is right, isn't he always?

I am a coward."