A/N: I plan to keep these chapters fairly short so I don't kill myself by treating this like an essay with a set amount of words, so updates will be slightly faster.
When I do get back to the Attraction Effect, it will be when I feel like gazing upon that monstrosity that I practically need to rewrite since it's been far too long since I've laid eyes on the plot.
Note for this story though that I forgot to say earlier. Dates are important. It'll feel disjointed, but I've long accepted that that's how I write and most of the stuff on here are garbled and quickly hashed out because I'm far too tired to attend to my actual studies or just generally frustrated.
Something I need to point out since a review alerted me of this. This is a semi-AU, in the Naruto universe, but the politics are semi-warped.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters
Chapter 2
To Begin Again
1975, February 3
Sakura is seated at Hinata's side, eyes at half-mast and looking blearily at the diced meat in front of her. Food is rationed and meat is especially sparse. In the event that sound nin happen to catch wind of their current location – though they are deep in the depths of the water country in which they have a hesitant treaty with, enough that if the sound asks, the water nin are especially tight-lipped about their location – the pigs are the first to be abandoned. Whatever meat they take with them is often a toss up. Between the horses that the few farmers or the sick and injured ride, it's almost never plausible to cook the valuable livestock when transportation is surely more important.
"Are-are you alright Sakura?" Hinata whispers then again, stronger this time, "Are you alright Sakura?" Sakura hates when Hinata stutters. She often tells Hinata this, hands on her waist and a frown evident on her face, "You'll be taken more seriously if you speak louder and clearer and have authority in your tone." Hinata has always idolized that strength Sakura just seems to naturally have, but it must be also that back in their days as genin, when Konoha hadn't been at war, Sakura had been in the legendary team 7, her, Sasuke, and Naruto.
Sasuke now runs the highly specialized remnants of the ANBU along with his brother, Itachi, doing mostly recon and spy work to find new locations to settle or to clear the way for the injured and sick.
Now, Naruto leads the resistance, a dead set in his jaw and whatever spark Hinata had once loved – still loves with the fervor of a thirsty man to water – is few and far between like his smiles. He works with Tsunade, the head medic, often to get a second opinion on casualties in whatever plan he's creating. Each one seems bolder and bolder and every decision makes him seem more guarded, tight-lipped, even when he follows Tsunade on rounds to visit the injured. Those are the only times when Hinata ever sees him. It's always when he's at his worst and she can only love him so much more, pathetic and reminiscent of happier times.
It must really shape a person, to be surrounded by such strong people all the time.
Sakura reaches out and taps Hinata's forehead, grinning now – that grim and tired look gone already, "I should be asking you that. You seem more far away. Thinking of Naruto again?" and Sakura laughs, but it's weak and even the well-meaning tone Sakura means to have is shadowed by some semblance of annoyance and irritation. Hinata bites back her blush and remembers herself, and she's Sakura's assistant again, not the stuttering youth that used to watch Naruto behind the gates as he left for missions.
"What are the casualties this time?" Hinata says, and Sakura's face draws a long shadow, despite the peaking sun in the sky.
Sakura never complains about her job. She tends to the sick and often is seen with Tsunade as well, talking in low whispers and whirling up calm wherever she is; solid and strong.
What Hinata has always wanted to be.
She wonders now if her last minute decision to join the medic nin ranks under Tsundae's tutelage –during the earlier times when the sound had pushed Konoha to war and everyone had been scrambling to fight or protect – had been a mistake. She often doesn't let her thoughts stray or she'll miss Sakura's words.
"Just twenty, but they were all from the ANBU, so they're extensive, highly delicate injuries needing more experienced medics. I know you're off your rounds right now, but I'm gonna need your help" Sakura's face isn't apologetic and she doesn't have the tact to look sheepish. The war has drained that away. She seems more raw and Hinata can't really tell if she prefers it that way.
She barely remembers Sakura back in the day when she could smell the daisies.
"Of course" Hinata agrees softly and repeats, under Sakura's stare "Yes" and it's more firm.
It makes Sakura smile. More genuine and open, "That's my girl" and she ruffles her hair.
They make their way to the makeshift medical tent they've constructed. The air smells of sweat and blood and that rancid smell of sickness. Tenten, who had once served in the ANBU, is making notes at the bedside of one of the injured, a volunteer, since often, the medic tent is hit first during surprise attacks that they're often short-staffed.
"Status?" Sakura is saying as she puts on her gloves and Hinata quietly follows, surveying the room. Medic nins in training bow to Sakura in respect but quickly turn back to their job after Sakura's grim nod of acknowledgement.
"Tenten says, "make that twenty one" and she flicks her hair back, laying her hand on the ninja's hand when he attempts to sit up, "Don't try anything Tenma, or that lung will burst out of your chest" and the man leans back down when Tenten continues, "Sasuke's back and things aren't looking good"
"But what about the medic, Izuno?" Sakura hedges, suddenly frazzled. It seems only Sasuke can invoke that response from her. "He's supposed to keep him and Itachi uninjured. What has he been doing? Sitting on his ass!?"
Tenten purses her lip, a sure sign that the complete seventy four hours of on duty work is getting to her. "Mind the dead will you?" and Sakura mimics that look too.
Silence persists for a moment.
"Sorry, I didn't think, I-"
"You don't need to apologize" Tenten says, "You've also been on the clock for seventy hours. No one blames you"
Tenten looks to Hinata, as if noticing her for the first time.
Hinata feels meek and silly, standing next to such powerful women, but she straightens her back and looks Tenten in the eye. She knows not to discredit herself. The resistance can't afford that in any of their ninja.
The woman must like what she sees because she says, "I think it's best you tend to Sasuke's wounds Hinata. Sakura will stay with me and tend to the rest"
Sakura turns red, "I can handle Sasuke! Hinata can-"
"Sakura" and Tenten's eyes take on that steel that Hinata sees in some patient's who've been on duty for far too many years, "you're compromised and tired. Hinata has only been here for twenty four hours. She will be much less likely to make mistakes in surgery"
Sakura is gasping now "He needs surgery? How serious are his wounds? I need to see him!" Her fists clench. There's a swirl of chakra forming in the air.
Hinata let out a breath of air. "S-Sakura" she tries, and then louder, "Sakura, I'm trained to handle this. Please let me do my job"
Sakura rears at her, livid, "My job is to tend to the sick and injured as well Hinata, I can-"
"and my job as your assistant medic is to lessen the burden that your job requires" Hinata says back, shaky, but calm and authoritative enough that Sakura would have been proud to hear had she not been so frazzled and stressed. "...Remember?"
Then Sakura just deflates, "Right, you're right. I'm sorry. I need to-" she reaches for a chair but opts to kneel by it instead, looking so weak, that for a moment, Hinata can't help but irrevocably and passionately hate this war and what it's done to those precious to her.
Hinata kneels to hug her, but it's Tenten who sweeps her up easily into a strong hold and says softly, "There there." She looks at Hinata with a meaningful gaze and gestures to the surgical wing of the tent, meant for patients in need of critical care.
Hinata stands, nodding.
She walks into the next wing.
Hinata is greeted by a pool of blood and shrewd red eyes, pinwheels for irises focused on her face. Unblinking.
It terrifies her.
1980, June 10
Hinata tries to go outside.
Sasuke is dozing on the chair he always seems to occupy when she's resting, never seeming to retreat into his own somewhere else in the house, never seeming to stray too far. He always ushers her into the shower, and whenever she begs for privacy, he harshly procures that if she'd like to slip and fall into the tub and open her wounds, she can go right ahead. He watches her eat and makes her empty the plate and he helps her dress too, when she struggles. She was embarrassed at first, sometimes returning to stutters and mumbling, but it stopped when his gaze never seemed to be more than clinical. Steely and faraway.
But sometimes she thinks she sees a glimpse of hopeless desperation, a yawning chasm in his eyes so deep that she could drown if she looked too long…
She shakes those thoughts away. Silly and idealistic. She's only ever known and breathed Sasuke since they began their one year mission undercover in the heart of the sound after proving to the resistance that their partnership was efficient. She remembers Naruto's pursed lips and Sakura's frantic whispering and Tsunade's frown as she had stood off to the side with him in a soldier's stance, awaiting orders.
Sasuke didn't complain nor seem fazed that he had had to work with her, but nothing seemed to faze him much.
He had not even expressed his disregard as her partner, but five years was a long time to be partnered to someone and he had only complained and belittled her in the beginning. Oh, enough of that… she was growing slow with her lack of things to do.
She gently pries the door to her room open, unlocked this time because when Sasuke enters the room to see her, he usually leaves it unlocked.
She begins the gentle tread on the stairs, leaning on the banister with effort.
She manages a shaky exhale and thinks, 'just one step in front of the other, and how can this be harder than performing surgery' and smiles grimly to herself. She wobbles a bit, used to Sasuke's weight as support that she can barely handle herself. 'How stupid' she thinks, 'that I have come to depend on him so much to move me around. It must have been days, no weeks since I've been stuck in that room. Oh, I don't know the time or day, but Sasuke probably does.'
And that thought stutters in her head, because Sasuke knows everything and she can't possibly allow that.
She manages to make it to the kitchen and can see from the corner of her gaze, the bathroom, as windowless as the kitchen. She never knows whether it's morning or night as a result. She tries to hobble to the door but there's not much support between the table and the doorknob to the outside.
In trying to manage an easier route, she doesn't notice the gentle footfall – but she's already established that her sensing facilities are compromised- or the icy,
"Where are you going Hinata?"
She regains her precarious balance, caught off guard. "I need to get out" she doesn't look at him when she says it, but settles for loud and authoritative. Sakura would have grinned and nodded in pride.
"And do you think you're useful to the resistance like this? Barely able to walk, hardly able to sense my presence?"
And Hinata hates that tone because they are biting and unfeeling. She wishes he could inject a reprimanding tone so she can feel like he has well-meanings behind it, but this is far worse.
She hates this, hates being useless because she wants to be useful to those she cares about but she must have said that aloud because Sasuke looks unguarded.
"Don't be an idiot" he says quickly, composure regained, and reaches his hand out and forcefully pulls her back into his hold. "You're going back to sleep and-"
"No" she pulls back and staggers into the table, but ignores the sharp pain it incites. Her chest hurts a lot worse. "I need to go back. Don't treat me like a child Sasuke. I want to go back. We're compromised. I'm not able to function. We go back to Naruto. I get healed while you take another mission. It works better that way"
"We're partners" he hisses, but it's softer on the edges, and it sneaks into his eyes too, "Does that have no meaning to you? It's just as bad for me, having to see your injuries as proof that I can't protect you"
"No" she stutters and corrects herself, firm, "No"
She hates this side of him, gentle. It suits him too well. It's a persona he uses when he's charming the local sound nin villagers, waxing poetry about his humble upbringing – a cover of course for the mission – and easily worming his way into their hearts before he tortures them and slits their throats and dumps their bodies to be found by their families. Smiling all the while and so gentle.
"You don't do that on me" she says, angry.
He pauses, "Hinata"
She continues, "you can't tell me to sit and stay and then expect my full obedience. If we are partners-no- if we are equals, you will treat me like one. You will tell me-" she breaks off, voice faint "tell me what the resistance needs. My plan makes sense. It's better in the long run. I know you hate breaking your perfect mission complete track record but if you care even a bit, you'll take me back. It's more efficient"
"Hinata" he says again, patient.
"No. You listen to me"
"Hinata you're bleeding"
She frowns.
Where she had hit the table has stressed her stitches. Of course.
She blinks slowly at Sasuke, owl like and at a loss for words, and he cradles her under his arm again.
She didn't even see him cover the distance to her. "I'm taking you back to bed"
She leans against him. The bleeding is not looking good but she tries to walk as much as she can.
He lifts her instead when she tries.
His face is set forward but she doesn't miss his considering gaze at her neck, the slow trail down her bare collar bone and the expanse of her chest where the bandages have loosened due to her movements.
She hates that. Feels like a bird in a cage. She's been feeling that too much lately and his grip only tightens when her breath hitches on the first few steps up the stairs, like steel.
Dates in the story are important, in case you didn't read the authors note above. The reviews honestly urged me to update this quickly, since I can imagine I've upset some people by disappearing for a year or two. I'm sorry. Feel free to PM me if you're interested in whatever shitty excuse I have to give cause I'm not gonna spill it out here where no one is particularly interested.
I'll probably do 2 dates at a time per chapter to relearn my writing. I haven't written in so long.