There was absolute silence for a few seconds and then, from just outside the door, they heard a strident female voice shout, "Where is he?!?" Kurama turned a slightly paler shade and then the door burst open, revealing the figure of a girl. "Suichi Minamino, you bastard! I'm going to beat you to death with a limp Snickers bar. How dare you get married and not invite me? What the hell kind of best friend are you, anyway?!?"
"Friend of yours?" Hiei asked, suddenly appearing at Kurama's elbow.
"Oops." The sound came out more as a squeak than a word, causing Hiei to look at him sharply. "Hehe, Hi Alanna. I thought you were still on tour. I didn't expect you to be able to make it. Don't you have a concert in New York tonight?"
The girl tossed her hands into the air and stalked toward Kurama. "Hrmph. Like I would miss your wedding for a little thing like that. Your Mom told my mom and she told me and here I am. My jet is waiting at the airport. I 'll kick your ass and be there in plenty of time. End of issue." She stopped inches away from Kurama. "So, where is this perfect little bride that you couldn't wait for me to get here to marry?"
Kiki peeked timidly up over Kurama's shoulder. "Suichi, you didn't tell me Alanna was on tour. We could have waited for her to get here before the wedding."
Alanna stared at the terrified purple eyes peering at her. "Oh. My. God! Kiki the Wimp! You married Kiki the Wimp? You married Kiki the Wimp and you didn't take the time to call and invite ME? You are even more dead than I thought."
Kurama sputtered a moment, clearly searching for something to say to diffuse the situation while Alanna glared at him with her arms across her chest and her foot tapping. Hiei took the time to examine the obviously incensed female. She appeared human. She stood an impressive five foot and nine inches, a whole foot taller than himself and towered over Kurama by a good six inches. She was dressed in a studded black tank top and miniskirt with her long legs covered in fishnet stockings down to her black combat boots. Her face, what he could see of it between the white and black make-up, was not unattractive, provided one was impressed by numerous piercings. Perhaps the most interesting feature he could make out at that time was the tattoo of the black widow spider prominently displayed on her right shoulder.
"And who's this little spiky-headed freak? How come he's here with you and not me, huh?"
Kurama took that moment to recover. "Ah, yes. Alanna, this is Hiei. Hiei, Alanna."
"Hn. And I'm the freak?"
"Oh can it, Shorty. I'm not here to exchange pleasantries with you. I want to know why you-" as she poked Kurama in the chest with one finger hard enough for him to take a half step back "-didn't even have the decency to let me know you were getting married. After all, we've been best friends since pre-school when I used to beat you up for cookies."
The room fell silent for a moment, and then there was a rash of choked coughs from almost everyone. Alanna glared around, hands held in front of her and clenched into fists. "You people got a problem? This is a private conversation here. You got somethin' to add, Peanut Gallery?"
Koenma gasped and held up a hand. "Sorry, I'm not sure what caused that. I don't have anything to add." He grinned. "And I don't have any cookies, either."
The next thing Koenma knew, he was laying on the floor looking up at Alanna who stood over him looking at her hand. "Damn, you made me chip a nail. Do you have any idea how long it takes to get them just right?" She turned and glared at Kurama. "And it is all your fault."
"Yes, it is, Alanna. Allow me to try to make it up to you by offering you my deepest-" Kurama broke off as Alanna grabbed a fistful of his shirt. She then spoke to Kiki over his shoulder as she dragged him off.
"Kiki, I'm gonna borrow your husband. Don't worry, he will be back and should be functional enough for the wedding night. After all, it's not your fault he's an asshole, so you shouldn't suffer. I'll be real careful where I hit him with the Snickers bar."
Hiei's ears perked up. "Isn't a Snickers bar made of chocolate?" he asked Kuwabara.
"Yeah, but she's just gonna beat him with it. She's not gonna feed it to him. I think."
Alanna glared back over her shoulder. "Why would I feed it to him? It's my chocolate and once I'm done beating him with it I will need it to recover my energy. DUH!!"
Kuwabara and Hiei stared as Alanna dragged Kurama outside and the door slammed behind her. Meanwhile, Genkai was helping Koenma get back to his feet. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, but you have to wonder where Kurama found a friend with such a nasty right hook. Reminds me of someone, but I can't quite place it."
"Me, too, but the last time you took a right like that wasn't Yusuke behind it?"
"Oh yeah. She almost sounds like him, too. Weird, isn't it?"
"Sure is, but you kind of had to expect something like that with this bunch. It wouldn't have been a proper party without-" the sound of a body bouncing off a wall reverberated through the room, accompanied by sympathetic cringing."-this sort of stuff."
A few minutes later the door opened and Alanna dragged a semi-conscious Kurama into the room. She tossed him toward Kiki who went down with him in a crumpled heap. "There you go sweety. Nothing permanent damaged and all the necessary parts in working order. I didn't even mess up his pretty face for you," she quipped with a grin. "I feel better. This party have a bar?"