Lawli: Wow, 22 reviews for the first chapter! I am shocked an honored to have gotten such a positive response already! I really was nervous about posting this, so thank you to everyone who gave me motivation to continue it! I meant to update this sooner, but the last scene in this chapter was very difficult to write (for many reasons, which you'll probably get once you read it).
Sh7cat pointed something out to me in a review that I thought I should make a note of: L's character. For these first few chapters, L will seem very OOC. I did this intentionally. Due to the fact that he's been raised completely differently in this fic than in the Canon, I figured he would have a completely different personality. As he is an orphan living with an abusive older sibling, I've decided that a reserved and passive personality would suit him best for the time being. That is why he is not butting heads with Light, and why they seemed to perhaps get along 'too well' in the first chapter. As the story continues, his character will develop more and change and he'll probably become more like his Canon self. Though he'll probably still be a tad OOC (sorry).
This is getting to be a very long author's note, so I'll wrap it up. Please read and enjoy, and don't forget to leave a little review when you're finished!
Chapter Warning: Incest (BxL).
in the land where no-one smiles
-I-
"I thought of the power in this world up to now. I thought of how people are convinced that nothing can change power the way it is."
Light remained seated even after the bell rang and signaled the end of the school day. His thoughts were still centered on the spectacle he'd witnessed during his English Literature class. Objects falling from the sky... He wondered what it could have been, where it could have landed, if it landed.
Would it still be there?
"Light-kun?"
L was standing in front of his desk, staring down at his best friend curiously. In his hands were his schoolbooks. Light stood up, the legs of his chair scraping against the wooden floor.
"Is something wrong?"
Light gathered his books in his arms and offered L a reassuring smile. "No, nothing. Let's go."
L silently agreed and followed him out the door. They walked side-by-side down the semi-crowded hallway. Together the pair descended a staircase and then L suddenly halted.
Light glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. L was fingering the beads of his rosary nervously. "L?" he asked, taking a step closer to him.
"Yes... Sorry, I shouldn't have stopped. I was just wondering if Light-kun would like to go to the café with me."
Shrugging indifferently, he replied, "Sure. But I'll have to meet you there. There's something I've got to take care of first." The item that had fallen from the sky was calling out to him; he had to go see what it was. "What café?"
L thought a moment, mulling over his options. "Note Blue," he decided. "They have the best short cake there."
Light smiled, finding L's ever-present sweet tooth a source of amusement. "All right. I'll see you there."
They parted ways, L continuing in the direction of the main exit and Light heading towards the courtyard. There were still students loitering around, huddled in groups of about five and chattering excitedly amongst each other. He was greeted by several of his peers, and acknowledged them with a mere nod of the head, not stopping to gossip with any of them. His eyes scanned the area as he approached the patch of grass just below the window of his English Literature classroom, searching, searching...
Light grinned as he spotted it.
A black notebook was sitting innocently in the grass. A notebook was hardly something exciting, but Light picked it up anyways, brushing dirt off of the cover as he skimmed over it. He noticed, during his short inspection, the foreign letters that titled it and recognized the words as belonging to the English language.
'Death Note'
He frowned as he translated the meaning in his head. A notebook of... death?
Curious, he flipped the book open to the first page. It was thick with text, which also happened to be written in English. Light sighed, beginning the chore of reading through the page. He was very good at English, but it was still a pain to translate everything. Idly he wondered why someone who resided in Japan would write things down in English (unless, perhaps, they were stubborn foreigners like L who preferred to read and take notes in his native tongue; but this hardly seemed like a student's class notes).
'How to Use'... Let's see: 'The human whose name is written in this Note shall... die'.
Light blinked and re-read the sentence again, thinking that he might not have translated correctly. But the statement was exactly the same the second time as it had been the first.
Is this some kind of joke? He wondered, flicking through more pages and discovering even more guidelines scrawled in messy English. It seemed rather elaborate for a prank. But it can't actually be real. You can't kill someone with a notebook, it's insane. As he read through some of the rules on the next page, he couldn't help but think that a person would have to be sick in the head to come up with a prank such as that, to actually think up a killing system, such as: 'If the cause of death is written within forty seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen'.
His cell phone began vibrating in his back pocket and he reached for it, already guessing who it was calling him.
"Light-kun, I got our favorite booth," L informed him from the other line. "Are you on your way?"
Light nodded even though his friend could not see him. Closing the black notebook, he stuck it in his back pack, between his Calculus and Literature textbooks. "Yeah," he replied, making his way out of the courtyard. He passed two underclassmen girls whom he recognized from Student Government, who giggled and waved as he walked by them; he didn't say anything, only continued on his way. "I'm just leaving now."
"See you soon, then."
"Try not to buy the entire bakery while you're waiting."
He could almost see L's thin-lipped smile.
"I shall try to resist," L promised in his usual whisper-voice before hanging up.
Returning his cell phone to his pocket, Light kept walking, all the while concentrating on the strange notebook that fell from the sky, attempting to discern whether or not it could possibly work.
'The human whose name is written in this note shall die...'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Maybe I'm sick in the head, too.
Light watched as L shoveled another large forkful of strawberry shortcake into his mouth and chewed on it normally. He'd known L for so long now that his eating habits (while still disgusting) hardly fazed him any longer.
L was talking about a serial killer he'd heard about on the news that morning, explaining the details of the latest murder without managing to ruin his appetite. Light was barely listening, his mind too wrapped up around the first rule in the Death Note.
Could it really work? Could such a simple thing as a notebook really have the power to take the life of a human being? The only way to find out for sure was to test the notebook, something Light had mixed feelings about. If he tried and nothing happened, he would feel stupid for buying into someone's idiotic prank. On the other hand, if he tried it and it did work... would that make him a murderer?
"L," he spoke suddenly, interrupting his friend in his little speech about the inefficiency of the Japanese police force. "Can I ask you something weird?"
L, who appeared rather miffed at having been interrupted, took another bite of his cake. "Something weird?" Crumbs sprayed from his mouth; Light wrinkled his nose. "Like what?"
"Like..." Light made a show of thinking the question over. "If you had that power to kill someone, would you do it?"
L was completely taken aback by the unexpected inquiry. He blinked several times before lowering his fork to his plate. "I... don't know, Light-kun. I don't think I would, but it would depend on the situation. If someone was threatening me or someone I care about..."
"No situation," Light clarified. "Just... say you were granted the supernatural ability to kill people. What would you do?"
L continued to stare, wide-eyed, utterly flabbergasted. "Light-kun, I don't... No. No, I wouldn't. That'd be terrible. How can you ask me something like that – are you not feeling well?"
Light shook his head. "I'm fine. I was just wondering; that's all. Sorry if I freaked you out."
Silence fell between them. L took a slow drink from his tea, holding the cup daintily between his thumb and index finger, the knuckles of which were white from old scars that never faded. He stared at Light over the rim, his black eyes wide and expressionless as ever.
"What about you," he asked suddenly as he set the cup gently back down onto the saucer. "Would you kill someone if you had the power to do so?"
Light took his time in pondering over the question. He didn't know how to respond to it. The reason he'd asked L in the first place was to hear his opinion and formulate his own opinion based off of it. They were best friends; their thoughts were usually the same. But he didn't agree with L this time around – at least, not on all levels.
"It is terrible," he said, reaching out to take hold of his coffee mug. He raised the mug to his lips but didn't drink from it. "But..." his voice trailed off, lips curving downwards thoughtfully once more.
"But," L repeated, leaning forward, "how can there be a 'but', Light-kun? Murder is an awful thing; it's not like you to –"
"I didn't say I consent with the act itself. Murder is an awful thing, especially when done in cold blood," Light interrupted, glaring at L from under his bangs. "But sometimes, I feel... there are people who deserve to die."
"... Light-kun, no one deserves to die," L protested weakly, though Light barely heard him.
"People who make the world rotten." Light's gaze rested on the bruise under his friend's eye.
L, realizing what Light's focus had landed on, touched his cheeks, casting his charcoal eyes downwards. "Light-kun." He spoke the name firmly, and Light knew it was because L hated it when he stared at the bruises (hated it even more than when strangers stared).
Light closed his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, which had cooled significantly by this point. For several minutes, neither of them spoke. And then Light asked: "how did your parents die, L?"
L didn't answer, and part of the reason was because Light already knew the answer. He'd coerced his friend into explaining the truths of his past several years ago. It was a conversation that ended with tears on L's part, and resulted in a night of Light holding L in his arms to comfort him, and a morning after which they refused to look at or speak to one another.
Light answered his own question. "They were killed."
Across the table, L flinched. Light watched as his friend gripped the material covering his knees. Light ignored his reaction for the time being.
"L... if you could get revenge... if you were able to kill the ones responsible for murdering your parents..."
"No," L responded, before Light could finish what he was going to say.
L began to unfold himself from his usual sitting position. Light could hear him slipping his feet into his ragged trainers. "Why?" he wondered aloud.
L stood up and Light didn't think he'd reply. Then, L turned to face him, his black eyes glassy and cold, and Light felt a little bit guilty for bringing up the painful subject.
"Revenge wouldn't bring them back. Killing my parents' murderers would make me no better than them."
He started to walk away. Light quickly rose from his seat, plucking several bills from his wallet and throwing them carelessly on the table before going after his friend.
"L."
L didn't react; merely stuffed his hands in his pockets and allowed his feet to lead him out of the café.
"L, wait," he tried again, grabbing hold of L's elbow to stop him. L's body tensed, but his feet ceased their forward movement. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought up your parents; it was insensitive of me. I know it's still painful for you, and I shouldn't have..." He sighed and took a step closer to his friend. "I'm sorry, okay?"
L gave him a hard glare, staring deeply into his eyes. Eventually he gave in and accepted the apology. "Don't ask me anything like that again. Please, Light-kun."
Light smiled, moving his hand to L's arm in order to give his shoulder a friendly squeeze. "I promise."
They started walking again, in the direction of the street they both lived on.
"Why were you even thinking about such things, Light-kun?" L said, peering at him curiously.
Light shrugged indifferently. "I don't know... The thought popped into my head during that ethics-themed discussion in English Literature, and then in the café you started talking about that serial killer. It just got me wondering."
"... I see."
Light shifted his book bag from one shoulder to the other, reminding himself of the little black book inside of it. He knew now that he would have to keep the Death Note a secret from his best friend.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When the pair reached the Yagami house, L was still in an off mood. Light could feel the proverbial hand of guilt playing at his heartstrings, though he didn't really know what to do to cheer his best friend up. His mother and younger sister both seemed to take notice of L's quiet depression right away.
"Is something wrong, dear?" his mother asked, concern lacing her voice; she always had viewed L as her second son.
"I'm fine, Yagami-san," L replied politely; he never had been able to think of her as his mother, or even his second mother.
Sayu disappeared into the kitchen and returned seconds later baring a tray of homemade brownies, which she held up to L in offering. "I-I figured you'd be coming over today, so I made you these," she stammered, cheeks turning red. It was no secret that she had been harboring a crush on her brother's best friend for the past few years.
The brownies did manage to bring a smile to L's face, albeit only temporarily. He took one from the tray and eagerly bit into it, smearing chocolate across his bottom lip in the process. "Delicious, Sayu-chan," he complemented whilst chewing.
He finished the brownie but did not take another. Together he and Light wandered up the stairs, down the end of the hall and into Light's bedroom, closing the door behind them. Light sat down on the edge of the bed while L perched comfortable atop his friend's computer desk. They stared at one another for an immeasurable amount of time.
Finally, Light broke the silence by stating an obvious fact. "You're still upset."
"Yes," L agreed, lowering his eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is."
"...Yes... it is."
"I'm sorry," Light said a second time. "I didn't mean to..."
"I know." L curled an arm around one of his knees, his black eyes staring down at the floor, at Light's feet. "But you did."
Light didn't say anything. On the other side of the room, L began to propel the desk chair in a circular motion with his left foot.
The evening passed without much event. With the air thick enough to slice through with a butcher's knife, both teenagers felt uncomfortable talking. When they did speak, it was only a few words at a time, never more than a sentence at most. At seven-o-clock, Yagami Sachiko appeared in the doorway, exclaiming that dinner was ready and asking if L wanted to join them.
"I've made plenty," she assured, smiling warmly at him.
L planted his feet on the floor and bent down to retrieve his backpack from the ground before standing up. "No thank you, Yagami-san," he declined. "I should get home."
Sachiko smiled and allowed L to exit the room first. She, L, and Light descended the stairs. Light waved to L in passing as he made his way to the kitchen.
"Say hello to your brother for us," he heard his mother say before the front door closed.
Light situated himself at the table beside Sayu, who looked positively crushed that L hadn't agreed to stay for supper. Sachiko joined the two at the table several minutes afterwards, setting a serving platter in the center of the table.
"Has something happened between you and L?" she asked as she plucked up a piece of salmon with her chopsticks, beginning to fill her plate.
Light, who had been doing the same, paused, his chopsticks hovering over a piece of sashimi. "... We had a bit of a disagreement," he replied truthfully as his body set back into motion again. "Not really a big deal."
Sachiko frowned. "You should go and apologize. It's not right for such good friends to argue."
"I guess. But I've already apologized to him. I'll just talk to him tomorrow; he should be fine by then."
"Light..."
His mother's voice had developed a note of disapproval. Light sighed and set down his chopsticks. He did feel guilty for bringing up L's dead parents, but he'd already told L that he was sorry. What more did his mother want?
"All right," he relented. "I'll go after dinner."
Sachiko smiled.
"Let's eat!" Sayu declared.
The three dug into their food. A light conversation started about the festival being held by Sakura TV that would be taking place in the upcoming mouth. Sayu was giggling and explaining how her friends were urging her to compete for the title of Miss Junior Sakura. Light barely paid the conversation any heed; his thoughts had wandered back to his and L's argument, and the initial cause of it: the Death Note.
'The human whose name is written in this Note shall die'.
He took a bite of rice, smiling and nodding his head as Sayu asked for his opinion. "I think you could easily win, Sayu. You should go for it."
Sayu cheered and embraced her brother awkwardly while still holding onto her chopsticks. "Thanks, Light! I think I will. Oh! And you know what's so cool? I can't believe I forgot to mention earlier; the winner of the competition gets to have a photo shoot with Misa-Misa!"
Light tuned her out again, disinterested in Sayu's obsession with the up-and-coming supermodel.
I wonder if it works, he thought, chewing pensively on his salmon. Should I test it?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After dinner, Light begrudgingly went to L's house. It wasn't a far walk. L and his brother lived on the opposite side of the street, six houses down – a distance of roughly three minutes. When he tried the doorknob, he was surprised to find it unlocked.
"L?" he called as he stepped inside. It was dark, but that was noting unusual. Beyond had some kind of disorder with his eyes that made him sensitive to the light, so the house was rarely ever lit.
There was no response. Light wondered if no one was home, then he recalled the unlocked door and realized that would be impossible. Either they were in the backyard or upstairs. Since he was already in the house, Light decided to check the upstairs first.
After removing his shoes and setting them by the front door, he moved further into the house, rounding the corner to the right and meeting the first stair. As he moved to the upper level of the house, he thought he could hear voices, and when he reached the top step he spotted a glow leaking into the hallway from the crack of L's bedroom door.
From the hallway, the voices were much clearer, and they obviously belonged to L and his brother (though Light really hadn't expected it to be anyone else). He moved slowly closer to the door, trying to pick up on what was being said.
"..-ing makeup?" There was a pause – Light didn't know if L was just speaking softly or if he refused to give a response – and then Beyond spoke again. "Are you trying to entice me?"
Light stopped when he was several feet away from the door, holding his breath, trying not to make a sound lest the brothers become aware of his presence.
A soft gasp reached his ears. Light quirked a brow in interest, wishing he could see through the wall.
"Are you... Lawliet?"
Light shivered, as he did every time he heard L's full name. There were only several people who knew what it was, as L generally didn't like to tell people. Lawliet was his mother's name, and being called by it was a constant reminder that she was dead, so he stressed that everyone call him L. Beyond was the only one who addressed him as such, and always with that oddly affectionate tone in his voice.
"B-Beyond..."
A heavy silence filled the air. Beyond had chosen not to answer L, but Light could still hear noises coming from the room; a rustling sound that he couldn't quite place, and then the creak of the bed. He found himself inching closer to the door, his breathing shallow. What was going on in there?
"You're blushing."
L's voice was softer than usual, tinged with unease. "Beyond, don't..."
Beyond shushed him. The bed creaked again, as if someone was moving across it, and then there was a startled gasp before silence reigned. Light realized his hands were clenched into fists, his heart was beating faster than usual, and he needed to see what was happening. A churning feeling made its presence known in the pit of Light's stomach and he hesitated as he stood before the door to L's bedroom.
The door was open a crack, just enough for him to see inside. The first thing that came into view was the corner of L's cherry wood desk. It was covered in an assortment of candy wrappers, underneath of which were some pages of loose-leaf paper and several pens. Light's eyes traveled over the desk, to the bed beside the wall nearest to it. All Light could see from this angle was the backside of L's older brother. Beyond was on all fours, hovering over the mattress, like a predator who'd just captured his prey and was about to deliver the final attack, hovering over L.
"Please..." Another gasp. "Beyond..."
All Light could see of his friend were L's gangly legs which hung over the edge of the bed. They were moving, kicking haplessly; however, L's efforts were made useless due to the beige school pants pooled around his ankles providing a limited range of mobility.
"Yes," Beyond hissed. "Yes, Lawliet, say my name again." His head moved down and Light didn't want to imagine what he was doing, though he had a fairly decent idea. The sick feeling in his stomach only intensified as heard a small noise, halfway between a wince and a groan, come from L's lips. "You know how much you tempt me? Wearing that pretty makeup, trying to look like her – Fuck, you look so much like her, Lawliet!"
"Don't –"
"Shh..." The fire had disappeared from Beyond's voice, leaving only the eerie, snake-like tone. Light watched as he moved one of his hands, presumably to stroke L's face. "You don't have to cry. You know I love you too much to hurt you..."
One of L's hands reached around Beyond's neck, grasping onto the thick black hair. Light stood frozen at the door, hating to watch this continue but unable to move. He wanted to run away but his body wouldn't cooperate.
Beyond lowered his head, resting it on L's chest. "You love me too, right...?"
"I—"
"I see the way you look at him. The Yagami boy..."
Light stiffened, gripping the doorframe with one hand, trying to keep his breathing under control. His heart was racing, his eyes glued on the scene before him but barely even registering it even more. The only thing on his mind was the Death Note and its primary rule.
"You love him," Beyond continued, and Light felt his heart leap into his throat at the words. "Sometimes I think you love him more than me... your only family."
"N-no, Beyond... I do love you."
"...The one who raised you, looked after you, loved you. I love you more than anyone in the whole world, Lawliet, the whole goddamn world! No one else, just you..."
L hesitated before speaking again. "I love you."
"Don't lie to me!" Beyond screamed, the gentleness wiped from his voice as a rage took control once again.
Light was certain that if he could see the man's face, Beyond's eyes would be glowing red to match his anger. There was a slap! and Light knew that, the next morning, he would see another bruise somewhere on L's face, poorly concealed by facial powder.
"Don't you fucking lie to me with her face! You don't want this, you don't want me touching you like this, Lawliet, you never did; you never did even though you always said you loved me!" Another slap! "You love him, you want him to touch you; but I love you more than he does. I'm the only one. You hear? The only one, Lawliet! You're mine, you were always meant to be mine!"
Light finally managed to turn away as Beyond tore down his pants. He couldn't see this, couldn't watch this. It was too terrible, and he felt like emptying his stomach right there in the middle of the hallway. But he needed to get out.
He ran down the hallway, not caring to be quiet any longer. In fact, he wanted to be loud – as loud as possible, so he could block out the sound of Beyond's hysteria and L's tearful groans.
"I thought of the power in this world up to now. I thought of how people are convinced that nothing can change power the way it is.
...But you can."
Lawli: Mid-way through writing the scene between B and L, I gave B a sort of Oedipus complex. o.o Blame it on my English teacher? Seriously though, I hope the incest bit didn't scare anyone away.
Please tell me what you think of the chapter! Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome and very much appreciated!